[a习作temp] argument 169求改！如有诚意者可以互相批改！谢谢 [复制链接]

fanny07
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发表于 2009-7-25 21:28:19 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 fanny07 于 2009-7-26 20:27 编辑

TOPIC: ARGUMENT169 - The following appeared in a letter from a department chairperson to the president of Pierce University.

"Some studies conducted by Bronston College, which is also located in a small town, reveal that both male and female professors are happier living in small towns when their spouses are also employed in the same geographic area. Therefore, in the interest of attracting the most gifted teachers and researchers to our faculty and improving the morale of our entire staff, we at Pierce University should offer employment to the spouse of each new faculty member we hire. Although we cannot expect all offers to be accepted or to be viewed as an ideal job offer, the money invested in this effort will clearly be well spent because, if their spouses have a chance of employment, new professors will be more likely to accept our offers."
WORDS: 455
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2009-7-25 下午 04:49:50

The letter recommends that Pierce University should offer employment to the spouse of each new faculty member they hire in order to attract the most gifted teachers and researchers and improve the morale of all staffs. To support his recommendation, the writer cites that some studies have shown that professors are happier living in small towns when their spouses are also working in the same place. The author also indicates that the money spent on job offering would be well worth it since new professors will be more likely to accept their offers. However, the letter suffers from some serious fallacies.

First of all, the letter fails to build the causal relationship between professors happily living in small town and having their spouses working in the same geographic area. Since the letter gives no detailed information on how the studies were conducted and how many professors were researched, the reliability and representativeness of those studies is open to doubt. It is quite possible that Bronston College offered some other benefits for those professors that attract them. Moreover, there is no number of actually how much new professors are hired by B College because of offering jobs for their spouses, without this information, we can hardly believe such policy is effective.

Another problem with the letter is that the author falsely assumes that B College and P University is comparable in every aspect. It is quite possible that the small town where BC lies is a very convenient place while the town where PU locates is a remote area. Thus, it is easier to understand that professor in BC are happy living there, even building such policy, we could not guarantee the better employment of new professors in PU.

The writer also overlooks other possible factors that might be even more crucial for those most gifted professors and researchers to consider when choosing a career. Like reputation, funding, payment and research facilities of a college.

Finally, there is no detailed information on how much is the cost of offering jobs for the spouse of all newly hired teachers, so that we cannot evaluate if the money spent on the policy will be well spent and the feasibility of the recommendation. Furthermore, there is no warrant that the policy would improve the morale of all staffs, since the morale can be affected by various other reasons.

To sum up, the letter made a recommendation based on some dubious reasons. To better support his idea, the writer should build direct causal relationship between the professors' happy living attitude and their spouses' employment, also he should convince us the two colleges all comparable in every aspect and take into account other more essential factors that affect professors' job choosing.

Argument, 诚意, 批改