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电梯直达

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发表于 2010-1-20 00:41:42 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 ℃Йαиg 于 2010-1-20 19:38 编辑

2. The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.

"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on landscaping and house painting."

七年前，附近的Brookville社区的业主实施了一系列关于该社区的庭院应如何布置以及房屋应涂何种颜色的规定。从那以后，Brookville的地产平均价格翻了三番。为使Deerhaven
Acres的地产升值，我们也应该对于景观和房屋涂色实自己的规定。

已在2#的基础上做了修改~ 谢谢yuan的意见, 欢迎大家互拍,留下链接~ :loveliness:

This plausible argument recommends a set of restrictions on landscaping and house painting to increase the proper values when selling houses in DA. However, after scrutinizing these evidence and the reasoning of the author, this argument is neither logical nor practical. The tripling property value of Brookville may result from other significant factors other than(rather than 哪个好点?) adopting such set of restrictions. Besides that fallacy of “after this, therefore because of this”, the author also wrongly assumes that the experience from Brookville seven years ago is sure to be suitable and accurate for DA today.

When it is true that the average property values in Brookville have tripled, the author cannot simply conclude this achievement as a result of the landscaped yards and the painted houses. It is completely possible that others factors contribute to the increase of average property values in Brookville community. For instance, the tripling of property values may resulted from its perfect facilities such as swimming pool, tennis court, children's park, and health club. It is also likely that the convenience to public transport adds to the values (这里是不是有点问题?) in Brookville. Without ruling out these and other alternative explanations for the increase, the author cannot reasonably infer on the basis of the set of restrictions.

Even if there is causal relationship between the set of restriction and the tripling of property values，to make the recommendation that a similar policy should be promoted in DA still cannot result from the experience from Brookville seven years ago. The times are different. People with latest values in DA might pursue a sense of individuality and won’t easily get uniformed with the others as Brookville did 7 years ago. Furthermore modern people are getting more mobile than before, they might not stay at one place forever; therefore they might not take it seriously to benefit the whole community at the cost of giving up their own homes’ characteristics.(这个假设是不是不太好?跟现实不符?人们不愿意呆在一个地方跟他们买房有没有关系?) So the letter requires all the homeowners in DA to paint their homes in the same color, which might cause much resistance.

If we concede that the policy seven years ago is still useful today，the final conclusion that DA should landscape the yard and paint the exteriors wall is still questionable. DA and Brookville，although shares some common characteristics, might be totally different in other aspects. For example homeowners in Brookville community may adopt greater purchasing power and the price level there is high, while homeowners in DA are not as capable as they in Brookville to pay for the extra cost of landscaping and painting.

After analyzing the evidence as well as the reasoning, it is clear that we cannot safely reach the conclusion that DA should adopt their own set of restrictions on landscaping and house painting. If I were the author, I will try to find other evidences to preclude those possibilities mentioned above to make a better argument. After all, a false confidence in ineffective gear could be just as dangerous as no gear at all.

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Lisa-yuan
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发表于 2010-1-20 18:04:41 |只看该作者

This plausible argument recommends a set of restrictions on landscaping and house painting to increase the proper values when selling houses in DA. However, after scrutinizing these evidence
（复数evidences）and the reasoning of the author, this argument is neither logical nor practical. The tripling property value of Brookville may result from other significant factors other than（个人觉得用rather than） adopting such set of restrictions（还有一个没有提到，就是painting houses）. Besides that fallacy of “after this, therefore because of this”, the author also wrongly assumes that the experience from Brookville seven years ago is sure to be suitable and accurate for DA today. (第一段总结：作者一上来就用一个贬义词“plausible”来表明自己的立场，这样会让读者有种不想往下读的感觉。个人觉得第一段应该偏向客观的评价会比较好。)
When it is true that the average property values in Brookville have tripled, the author cannot simply conclude (take for granted??哪个好点) this achievement as a result of the landscaped yards and the painted houses. It is true that there is a correlation between the tripling of the costs of average property values and the restrictions on landscaping and house painting（这句话你是在赞成arguer的观点，但是你其实要批判的是，房价的升高与这个政策并没有因果关系，但是你却说，这个是true的，作为读者会反问你，how do you know there is a correlation, 说不定事实上一点关系都没有，这两者只是时间上的先后顺序罢了。）, the arguer fails to establish a cause and effect relation between them. It is complete(这个要用副词 completely) possible that others factors contribute to the increase of average property values in Brookville community. （这句话就跟前面那句有点前后矛盾了）For instance, the tripling of property values may resulted from its useful (有没有更合适的adj.?
完善的;perfect) faculties such as swimming pool, tennis court, children's park, and healthy club. It is also likely that the convenience to (用一个形容词就OK了convenient)public transport add to the values(add the values 不就可以了吗) in Brookville. Without ruling out these and other alternative explanations for the increase, the author cannot reasonably infer based on the set of restrictions.

Even if there is causal relationship between the adoption of the set of restriction and the tripling of property values，to make the recommendation that a similar policy should be promoted in DA still cannot result from the experience from Brookville seven years ago.(这个句子貌似有语病，主语是那个？如果不擅长用长句子，就拆开吧) The times are different. People with latest values in DA might pursue a sense of individuality and won’t easily get uniformed with the others as Brookville did 7 years ago.
Furthermore modern people are getting more mobile than before, they might not stay at one place forever; therefore they might not take it seriously to benefit the whole community at the cost of giving up their own homes’ characteristics.（这个观点对于房地产市场来讲，是很不成熟的。资信的发达，人们更热衷于投资房地产，这个跟他们愿不愿意呆在同一个地方没有关系，如果你觉得这个不好说，干脆就避开。）
So the letter requires all the homeowners in DA to paint their homes in the same color, which might cause much resistance.

If we concede that the policy seven years ago is still useful today，the final conclusion that DA should landscape the yard and paint the exteriors wall is still questionable. AD and Brookville，although shares some common characteristics, might be totally different in other aspects. （读者会问how do you know there are some common characteristics, arguer在文章中没有提及）For example homeowners in Brookville community may adopt greater purchasing power and the price level there is high, while homeowners in AD are not as affordable as they in Brookville to pay for the extra cost of landscaping and painting. (这个对比是不是不太好?)（这个可以作为你的猜测）

After analyzing the evidence as well as the reasoning, it is clear that we cannot safely reach the conclusion that AD should adopt their own set of restrictions on landscaping and house painting. If I were the author, I will try to find other evidences to preclude those possibilities mentioned above to make a better argument. After all, a false confidence in ineffective gear could be just as dangerous as no gear at all.

总体来说，没有找到能有力攻击arguer的论点，而且把DA，写成了AD，这个在读者看来是不认真的表现。在GRE作文里面，可以允许单词拼写错误，但是如果这些错误也犯的话，估计给读者的印象很不好。分数很难上去哦~

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