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小心littleheart
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电梯直达

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发表于 2010-1-28 00:28:50 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由小心littleheart 于 2010-2-14 23:53 编辑

1.27 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.

It is really a difficult choice for government when faced with the decision of supporting arts or supporting athletics, for we can hardly say that which is more important than the other. While if I must choose one, it will be to supporting the athletics and my reason listed below.

Initially, national Olympic teams can stand for the country's comprehensive strength as well as the profit of the country.
Meanwhile, state-sponsored Olympic teams can directly present a certain region's athletic level and indirectly demonstrate the area's economic development. Only when a nation's economy is highly-developed and the people are rich enough, can it have the spare money to sponsor athletics. That is also the reason why the achievement a country on sports can affect others' impression on the country. Therefore, it is no denying the fact that in support of athletics is a prerequisite for a nation to build intimate relationship with other nations.

From another perspective, supporting athletics can not only contribute to demonstrate the country to the whole world, it can also impel artists find inspiration from the sport activity. Artists could create works according to a certain basketball game. Some cartoonists who are interested in sport games may infuse competition scenes into his paintings.
Guillermo Mordillo, a famous Argentine cartoonist, is very good at describing football games by his humorous cartoon. As we all know, Zhangyimou is the chief director of the opening ceremony of Beijing Olympic Games and his work is amazing, attracting people from all over
the world. He cannot derive the magic inspiration from Olympic Games and also will not create the outstanding performance without government's support on athletics. In a word, athletics lead to the advancement of art.

There is also a point we should consider, if government greatly in favor of athletics, people’ consciousness of keeping healthy will be aroused. People will assume an active role in exercising and try to become more fit no matter how busy they are. It is true that people can enjoy themselves by appreciating art works. Only when people are in a healthy condition, will they have the disposition to enjoy arts. Naturally, sick people are not concerned with high culture but more worried about getting healthy or staying alive. Thus, money spend on favoring athletics will make it possible for people to continue to enjoy art.

By and large, supporting athletics indeed brings us more benefits than supporting art.
Depending on personal experience, personal type and emotional concern, I stand on the ground that governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics.

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沙发

发表于 2010-1-28 17:17:19 |只看该作者

本帖最后由小心littleheart 于 2010-1-28 17:18 编辑

1.28作业~~

超时20分钟~

1.28 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is important for families to regularly eat their meals together.

   In this day and age, people are busy with various matters, resulting in that they have a fewer time to spend on their families. Is it necessary for families to regularly eat their meals together? I would say yes and totally support the argument for the following reasons.
   Initially, eating meals together can increase the amount of family time and contribute to build harmonious relationship with family members. Through chatting with each other during table time, one will get acknowledged about his/her family members. Children could tell their parents some interesting things happened in school, so that parents could understand more about their kids. Meanwhile, only in this way, youngsters' mistake could be pointed out by his/her parents or other relatives in time. Mutual communication is the foundation of any relationship, whether among neighbors or family members. And eating regularly together is a good method of communicating with and deeply knowing about your family members. Recently, the rate of divorce is reaching a high point, and this warns us that how important it is to sustain family company. Otherwise, a kid may lose a complete home or a woman may become a single-mother.
   From another perspective, there is no denying the fact that eating is also an enjoyable thing which makes people feel relaxed. If a family possesses the habit of eating together regularly, all family members will be beneficial. Owing to the fierce competition, people in all age scales could feel great pressure in some degree. Adults fight for earning money and students fight for high marks. It is our home that releases us from stress. All family members, eating together, could help each other forget unpleasant things and immerge themselves in the harmonious atmosphere. When a wife confronted a difficult issue in work, she could tell her husband while having supper together, and he could give her some suggestions and encourage her. Thus the wife will feel more comfortable and effectively engage in her job again. Most family members have their own affairs in daily life, and some are so busy that still have to work even in weekends. Therefore, eating together regularly is an absolutely vital opportunity for them to have time with family members. No matter how busy a man is, he should take time off for his family eating together.
   By and large, we can benefit a lot from eating together regularly with our families and I personally appreciate the moments shared with my parents. So, eating together regularly is supposed to play an important role in every family.

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

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板凳

发表于 2010-1-28 19:52:46 |只看该作者

It is really a difficult choice for government when faced with the decision of （whether）supporting arts or supporting athletics, for we can hardly say that which is more important than the other. While if I must choose one, it will be to supporting(support) the athletics and my reasons listed below.4 p- D3 B; ?8

KInitially, national Olympic teams can stand for the country's
comprehensive strength as well as the profit of the country.
Meanwhile, state-sponsored Olympic teams can directly present a certain region's athletic level (the level of a certain region’s athletic) and indirectly demonstrate the area's economic development. Only when a nation's economy is highly-developed and the people are rich enough, can it have the spare money to sponsor athletics. That is also the reason why the achievement a country on sports can affect others' impression on the country. Therefore, it is no denying the fact that in support of athletics is a prerequisite for a nation to build intimate relationship with other nations.-------觉得meanwhile之前的profit与之后的economic development的意思重复。不知道littleheart的意思是不是后面的详细内容来解释前面的主题句呢？

From another perspective, supporting athletics can not only contribute to demonstrate the country to the whole world, it can also impel artists find inspiration from the sport activity. Artists could create works according to a certain basketball game. Some cartoonists who are interested in sport games may infuse competition scenes into his paintings.!Guillermo Mordillo, a famous Argentine cartoonist, is very good at describing football games by his humorous cartoon. （As we all know, Zhangyimou is the chief director of the opening ceremony of Beijing Olympic Games and his work is amazing, attracting people from all over the world. He cannot derive the magic inspiration from Olympic Games and also will not create the outstanding performance without government's support on athletics. In a word, athletics lead to the advancement of art.）-------个人觉得括号内的内容可以不要，有些牵强。<little写的好多哦，佩服佩服，要向你学习哦~@~>

There is also a point we should consider, if government greatly in favor of athletics, people’ consciousness of keeping healthy will be aroused. People will assume an active role in exercising and try to become more fit（fitter） no matter how busy they are. It is true that people can enjoy themselves by appreciating art works.（逻辑？应该用连接词吧？---后面用but） Only when people are in a healthy condition, will they have the disposition to enjoy arts. Naturally, sick people are not concerned with high culture but more worried about getting healthy or staying alive. Thus, money spend on favoring athletics will make it possible for people to continue to enjoy art.
K7 m) ~* M9 q* u" ]

By and large，supporting athletics indeed brings us more benefits than supporting art.
Depending on personal experience, personal type and emotional concerns, I stand on the ground that governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics. / Z* @* T$ J' j, s- w

总结：little的每段都有例子对应，是文章的闪光点！但是有些句子多余，导致某些地方逻辑较混乱，建议直接删除会更好！
~嘿嘿~我第一次改，会有不足，见谅哦~
加油！ ^@^
' `( e- z, N& O; e" F1 L9 u% l+ C* ~

生命不息，英语不止。。。

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地板

发表于 2010-1-28 20:14:17 |只看该作者

3# 皇甫秋荻 呵呵~~谢谢你的指证啦~~其实我的作文有时为了达到字数，句子意思就是有些重复~我以后会多注意的~~

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5楼

发表于 2010-1-28 21:46:30 |只看该作者

其实我这篇作文花了3小时（呃，小汗一下）
刚才仔细对照了哈littleheart给我的批改，对于增加我文章字数的建议挺好的，嘿嘿~多谢拉~.~ 4# 小心littleheart

生命不息，英语不止。。。

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6楼

发表于 2010-1-29 01:11:25 |只看该作者

1.27 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.

It is really a difficult choice for government when faced with the decision of supporting arts or supporting athletics, for we can hardly say that which is more important than the other. While if I must (have to) choose one, it will be to supporting (support) the athletics and my reason (is) listed below.

Initially, national Olympic teams can stand for the country's comprehensive strength as well as the profit of the country. Meanwhile, state-sponsored
Olympic teams can directly present a certain region's athletic level and indirectly demonstrate the area's economic development. Only when a nation's economy is highly-developed and the people are rich enough, can it (指代不明) have the spare (extra) money to sponsor athletics. That is also the reason why the achievement a country (has got) on sports can affect others' impression on the country. Therefore, it is no denying the fact that (being) in support of athletics is a prerequisite for a nation to build intimate relationship with other nations. (太过绝对，不一定吧，与别国建立关系体育只是其中一个方面，并不是先决条件)

From another perspective, supporting athletics can not only contribute to demonstrate the country to the whole world, it can also impel artists find inspiration from the sport activity (activities). Artists could create works according to a certain basketball game. Some cartoonists who are interested in sport games may infuse competition scenes into his paintings. Guillermo Mordillo, a famous Argentine cartoonist, is very good at describing football games by his humorous cartoon. (此处转得太快，前面还在说艺术可以从体育中得到灵感，这里马上就转到政府对艺术的支持，如果加个what's more之类的转折词可能会更好) As we all know, Zhangyimou is the chief director of the opening ceremony of Beijing Olympic Games and his work is amazing, attracting people from all over the world. He cannot derive the magic inspiration from Olympic Games and also will not create the outstanding performance without government's support on athletics. In a word, athletics lead to the advancement of art.

There is also a point we should consider, if government (is) greatly in favor of athletics, people’(s) consciousness of keeping healthy will be aroused. People will assume (好词) an active role in exercising and try to become more fit (keep fit) no matter how busy they are. (再次生硬的转意) It is true that people can enjoy themselves by appreciating art works. Only when people are in a healthy condition, will they have the disposition to enjoy arts (only提前这种句式貌似不用逗号隔开吧，用逗号隔开就是德语的语序了，难道LZ懂德语？). Naturally, sick people are not concerned with high (noble) culture but more worried about getting healthy or staying alive. Thus, money spend (spent) on favoring athletics will make it possible for people to continue to enjoy art.

By and large (好词), supporting athletics indeed brings us more benefits than supporting art. Depending on personal experience, personal type and emotional concern, I stand on the ground that governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics. （前面不是说支持体育吗？这里为什么又支持艺术了？）

词汇丰富，好词好句随处可见，可是陈述有时候转得过于生硬，让人摸不着头脑。陈述逻辑有时候稍微有点勉强，不是那么让人信服。加油！

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jbc88 UID: 2365521 jbc88 当前离线最后登录 2013-3-16 在线时间 1130 小时寄托币 2518 声望 113 注册时间 2007-7-18 阅读权限 5 帖子 17 精华 0 积分 2243 UID 2365521 禁止发言声望 113 寄托币 2518 注册时间 2007-7-18 精华 0 帖子 17 主页发消息	7楼发表于 2010-1-29 11:03:27 \|只看该作者提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽

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8楼

发表于 2010-1-29 11:04:28 |只看该作者

6# eddie23508ok O(∩_∩)O哈哈~eddie真的很幽默,建议也很好，感谢~~最后结尾是笔误，写反了，呵呵~还有only放在句首，从句倒装，应该要用逗号隔开的吧，比如only in this way, can we improve our lifestyle~我不懂得德语啊......

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9楼

发表于 2010-1-29 18:55:32 |只看该作者

本帖最后由皇甫秋荻于 2010-1-29 18:57 编辑

   In this day and age, people are busy with various matters, resulting in that they have a fewer（fewer） time to spend on their families. Is it necessary for families to regularly eat their meals together? I would say yes and totally support the argument for the following reasons.7 v- c& R* x7 e1 P$ z5 E" D
   Initially, eating meals together can increase the amount of family time and contribute to build harmonious relationship with family members. Through chatting with each other during table time, one will get acknowledged about（littleheart，这个词是什么意思啊？我查不到！~呃--#） his/her family members. Children could tell their parents some interesting things happened in school, so that parents could understand more about their kids. Meanwhile, only in this way, youngsters' mistake could be pointed out by his/her parents or other relatives in time. Mutual communication is the foundation of any relationship, whether among neighbors or family members（把whether…or…去掉吧，感觉怪怪的。。。）. And eating regularly together is a good method of communicating with and deeply knowing about your family members.（意思与前面重复啦！~删了，直接跟后面的例子。）
Recently, the rate of divorce is reaching a high point, and this warns us that how important it is to sustain family company（这个词，是家庭公司的意思哦~little是想表达“伙伴”的意思，还是“关系”的意思呢？）. Otherwise, a kid may lose a complete home or a woman may become a single-mother. （例子不错~再次借鉴~嘿嘿^@^） Q) R$ G, y
   From another perspective, there is no denying the fact that eating is also an enjoyable thing which makes people feel relaxed. If a family possesses the habit of eating together regularly, all family members will be beneficial. Owing to
the fierce competition, people in all age scales could feel great pressure in some degree. Adults fight for earning money and students fight for（getting） high marks. It is our home that releases us from stress（同义替换pressure，不错！！！）. All family members, eating together, could help each other forget unpleasant things and immerge themselves in the harmonious atmosphere. When a wife confronted a difficult issue in work, she could tell her husband while having supper together, and he could give her some suggestions and encourage her. Thus the wife will feel more comfortable and effectively engage in her job again. Most family members have their own affairs in daily life, and some are so busy that still have to work even in weekends. Therefore, eating together regularly is an absolutely vital opportunity for them to have time with family members. No matter how busy a man is, he should take time off for his family eating together.4 _0 @2

   By and large, we can benefit a lot from eating together regularly with our families and I personally appreciate the moments shared with my parents. So, eating together regularly is supposed to（这个词好！） play an important role in every family.

改了littleheart的两次作文，觉得你的语法错误基本没有，而且语句很连贯，不牵强！佩服佩服！而且对于词汇，替换的很有水平哦！有很多词，我根本没有想到过。嘿嘿~还是得向你学习丫！~

不知道，littleheart是如何提高自己的单词多样性的（别告诉我是被托福词汇哈~~ - -！），我每次写作文，总感觉老被单词卡住，下不了笔，只能花很多时间在查字典上~ 请赐教！！！

p.s:好久没有写作文拉，昨天的作文，大部分连接词都是“借鉴”little的作文词汇，因为觉得经典！希望不要介意哈~ ^-^

生命不息，英语不止。。。

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10楼

发表于 2010-1-29 20:00:03 |只看该作者

9# 皇甫秋荻 呵呵~~怎么会介意呢~~~大家一同进步嘛~至于family company，我是打算表达“关系”的~呵呵~~yoyo平时多积累些同义词，练习一些中译英~一定会对替换有帮助的~~我的有些词也是查过字典的~~呵呵~O(∩_∩)O~加油哦~~

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11楼

发表于 2010-1-29 20:59:49 |只看该作者

自己的题目

Agree or not? Teachers should be paid according to how well their students perform

When faced with the issue that whether teachers should be paid according to how well their students perform. From my point of view, it is ridiculous that teachers' wage depend on their students' performance. And I can hardly agree with the statement owe to the following reasons.
Initially, it is obviously unfair for most teachers if their incomes are related to the students' score. Just image that if a student has a bad attendance record and never assume an active role in studying, he cannot get a high score even though with a responsible teacher. An excellent will attract most students in learning, but we cannot deny that there are also students with lazy habit have no interest in study subject. Therefore, we treat teachers so unfair when using this method to evaluate teachers. On the other hand, subjects are always departed as major subject which students place a high value on and side subject which often be neglected. Generally, students performance on main subjects extremely outweigh side subject, so teachers who teach side subjects will earn less money if we use the method. There is no denying the fact that it is unpleasant for them because they are as responsible as main subject teachers.

From another perspective, if teachers understand that their students’ performance will affect the wage they earn, they may give their students high score or great final mark in order to acquire a large amount of money. This type of behavior is not only irresponsible for students, it also adversely affect the atmosphere of whole school. More worsen, some teachers may help their students cheat in the examination or even tell the students the answer of the final paper before the exam, just resulting from the inconsiderable policy. Thus would cause serious problem that outstanding students' advantages could not be demonstrated and they would lose the motive to learn as before, as well as some poor students could also easily pass the exam, leading to the bad phenomenon that students have no desire to make progress.

Thirdly, recent years, most high schools divide students into different classes according to various academic level. That is to say, a number of well students are in a class while some middle students are in another class. When term end comes, the students in well class are certain to perform better than the middle class no matter how the teacher is. Similarly, it is unjust for teachers who mainly teach the middle class for they pay as much effort as their co-workers. For the original purpose, we want to simulate teachers to work hard and ensure students’ well education through the policy, while after accurate analysis, we find the drawbacks outweigh its benefits. Some teachers may be infuriate by the policy and in a bad mood.

By and large, we can come to the conclusion that the opinion that teachers should be paid depending on the students' performance is inequitable and cannot be adopted. And I personally totally disagree with it.

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12楼

发表于 2010-1-29 21:37:54 |只看该作者

RE: 小心littleheart的独立作文，自1.27

When faced with the issue that whether teachers should be paid according to how well their students perform（这不是一个句子）. From my point of view, it is ridiculous that teachers' wage depend on their students' performance. And（and是连词，如果没有连接上一句，可以将之删掉） I can hardly agree with the statement owe to the following reasons. $ N2

J i" V7 d& u
Initially, it is obviously unfair for most teachers if their incomes are related to the students' score. Just image（拼写错误） that if a student has a bad attendance record and never assume an active role (啥意思？) in studying, he cannot get a high score even though with a (even if he has a ...) responsible teacher. An excellent （excellent what？）will attract most students in learning, but we cannot deny that there are also students with lazy habit have (who have) no interest in study subject(in study). Therefore, we treat teachers so unfair（用副词，unfairly） when using this method to evaluate teachers. On the other hand, subjects are always departed (分道扬镳？出发？这个词可能用得不够准确) as major subject which students place a high value on and side subject which often be neglected. Generally, students performance on main subjects extremely outweigh side subject, so teachers who teach side subjects will earn less money if we use the method. There is no denying the fact（可以删掉，直接说there is no denying that...） that it is unpleasant for them because they are as responsible as main subject teachers.4 z- [- m/ p* B; @0 Z K; Q

1 g/ c, }! N: P
From another perspective, if teachers understand that their students’ performance will affect the wage they earn （直接说their income即可）, they may give their students high (用比较级更好，higher，后面用greater) score or great final mark in order to acquire a large amount of money（删掉，否则重复）. This type of behavior is not only irresponsible for students, it also（not only, but also） adversely affect the atmosphere of whole school. More worsen （what is even worse is that, ...）, some teachers may help their students cheat in the examination or even tell the students the answer of the final paper before the exam, just resulting from the inconsiderable policy. Thus would cause serious problem that outstanding students' advantages could not be demonstrated and they would lose the motive to learn as before, as well as some poor students could also easily pass the exam, leading to the bad phenomenon that students have no desire to make progress.

Thirdly, recent years, most high schools divide students into different classes according to various academic level. That is to say, a number of well students are in a class while some middle students are in another class. When term end comes, the students in well class are certain to perform better than the middle class no matter how the teacher is. Similarly, it is unjust for teachers who mainly teach the middle class for they pay as much effort as their co-workers. For the original purpose, we want to simulate teachers to work hard and ensure students’ well education through the policy, while after accurate analysis, we find the drawbacks outweigh its benefits. Some teachers may be infuriate by the policy and in a bad mood. （我觉得我们写托福作文应该以美国国情为背景，因为改作文的是美国人。在美国，没有尖子班和差班的分别。改卷老师很可能不了解中国国情，看不懂你这段话。或者，这种情况会让改卷老师将对中国的不良印象嫁接到你的分数上。。。）

]: N* j2 D3 \& U
By and large, we can come to the conclusion that the opinion that teachers should be paid depending on the students' performance is inequitable and cannot（can表示可能，should表示应该，这里用should更好） be adopted. And I personally totally disagree with it.

你的文章内容很充实，论点论据很多，相信你是下了很大功夫去构思和写作的。
总的来说挺不错的，25+肯定没有问题的，加油！

我给你的建议是这样的：
1. 注意你的句子结构，一个句子必须有一套主谓宾，而且只能有一套。
2. 注意你的措词准确恰当。在中文里，我们形容帅哥用“风流倜傥”，形容美女用“闭月羞花”，二者都有“美丽”的意思，但是用法绝对是有区别的。你对于一些英语词汇的实际用法把握不够准确，出现了将“风流倜傥”和“闭月羞花”混着用的错误。不要过分以来相信金山词霸，这个只能靠自己的阅读和写作积累。

我的水平也很有限，如果有错误，麻烦你及时指出来，我们一起进步。

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13楼

发表于 2010-1-30 00:42:09 |只看该作者

1.29 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To solve the problems present and future is it necessary to understand the past?

"Experience is the best teacher" is an old cliché, but I agree with it. Learning is the foundation of solving any kinds of problems. We can learn things through various methods, and I tend to agree that studying from our ancestors is one of the most important parts. Therefore, I argue that understanding the past is necessary for us to solve problems at present and in future.

Initially, history could make people wise because we can avoid making the same mistake as our ancestors by learning history. After having experienced feudalism with thousands of years, Chinese administration began to realize that only socialism is adaptable to China. Only through drawing lessons from the past, such as the extinction of Qing dynasty, can we find the most adaptable administration to China. Thus, at present our country is in a peaceful age and our people will not be insulted by other nations. Meanwhile, researching about the past can also warn us that a serious consequence may happen if we wrongly walk one step.

For another perspective, from the past to this day and age, something, such as certain natural phenomena have never altered. If our ancestors have drawn a conclusion about some astronomic regulation, we don't need to waste time on them, but directly utilize the achievement. It not only saves us more time, but also helps us do some deeper research on the base the former one. Nowadays, research on the orbiting of celestial body contributes us a lot in regard to the application of global positioning system. Similarly, medicine, especially for Chinese medicine, is a constant science that we can make use of our ancestors' wisdom. Nowadays, An Outline Treatise of Medical Herbs, acknowledged by the whole nation, is still be regarded as an outstanding work for we are able to use old methods written in this book to cure some today's disease. Besides, this book is welcomed by more and more foreigners and it could help us treat sickness which cannot be cured by western medicine. Regarding this issue, I hold the opinion that we will gain much knowledge from this book and Chinese medicine in the future.

There is another point I should make, in addition to unchanging things, past experience could also tell us a lot about some changing matters, such as the relationship with others. We all live in society, communicating with all types of person. Although the circumstance we live in is continuously altering, some important characteristics still alive. Through reading history, we can know that how to be a person and how to adjust ourselves to the society. In China, there is a great thinker and social philosopher called Confucius, whose teachings and philosophy have deeply influenced Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Taiwanese and Vietnamese thought and life. His philosophy emphasized personal and governmental morality, correctness of relationships, justice and sincerity. These values gained prominence in China over other doctrines, such as Legalism or Taoism during the Han Dynasty. Modern socialists have summarized rules of conduct according to Confucius and his composing.

By and large, past is to present and future what the foundation is to skyscraper. We can hardly solve some problems without past experience.

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eddie23508ok
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14楼

发表于 2010-1-30 02:23:55 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 eddie23508ok 于 2010-1-30 02:24 编辑

我查了一下，only放句首的句子倒装不用逗号隔开，例如Only in a big city was it possible to buy new
wheelchairs. 如果隔开了就是德语的语序了，呵呵！英语不这么用！ 8# 小心littleheart

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15楼

发表于 2010-1-30 12:11:28 |只看该作者

"Experience is the best teacher" is an old cliché（好词）, but I agree with it. Learning is the foundation of solving any kinds(kind) of problems. We can learn things through various methods, and I tend to agree that studying from our ancestors is one of the most important parts. Therefore, I argue that understanding the past is necessary for us to solve problems at present and in future.

" u% H' S! i8 |
# d- N$ \  w. w7 j! I
Initially, history could make people wise because we can avoid making the same mistake as our ancestors by learning history(这句前面用people,后面最好用they；后面要用we,前面最好用us，这样比较一致，符合习惯). After having experienced feudalism with thousands of years, Chinese administration began to realize that only socialism is adaptable to China. Only through drawing lessons from the past, such as the extinction of Qing dynasty, can we find the most adaptable administration to China(这两句合成一句吧，意思重复). Thus, at present our country is in a peaceful age and our people will not be insulted by other nations. Meanwhile, researching about the past can also warn us that a serious consequence may happen if we wrongly walk one step.
\

For another perspective, from the past to this day and age, something, such as certain natural phenomena have never altered. If our ancestors have drawn a conclusion about some astronomic regulation, we don't need to waste time on them, but directly utilize the achievement. It not only saves us more time, but also helps us do some deeper research on the base(+of,这里base是名词) the former one. Nowadays, research on the orbiting of celestial body contributes us a lot in regard to the application of global positioning system.(这句读不通，首先没查到contribute sb sth的用法，再次，a lot 什么in regard to ,是不是改成contributes to a lot of applications in regard to global positioning system不然就直接contributes to many applications of global positioning system.) Similarly, medicine, especially for （这个for不要）Chinese medicine, is a constant science that we can make use of our ancestors' wisdom. Nowadays, An Outline Treatise of Medical Herbs（你说的是本草纲目吗？有固定说法Compendium of Materia Medica ）, acknowledged by the whole nation, is still be regarded as an outstanding work for we are able to use old methods written in this book to cure some today's disease（diseases）. Besides, this book is welcomed by more and more foreigners and(because,因果关系更合适) it could help us （不是foreigners吗？them）treat sickness which cannot be cured by western medicine. Regarding this issue, I hold the opinion that we will gain much knowledge from this book and Chinese medicine in the future.

D7 y, s% ]% \. J, X" V
There is another point I should make, in addition to unchanging things, past experience could also tell us a lot about some changing matters, such as the relationship with others (between people). We all live in society, communicating with all types of person(persons). Although the circumstance we live in is continuously altering, some important characteristics still alive.(你这段不是想说过去对那些在变的东西的好吗？那这句还说很多重要的东西没变在这里是什么意思呢？有点辞不达意) Through reading history, we can know that how to be a person and how to adjust ourselves to the society. In China, there is(was) a great thinker and social philosopher called Confucius, whose teachings and philosophy have deeply influenced Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Taiwanese and Vietnamese thought and life. His philosophy emphasized personal and governmental morality, correctness of relationships, justice and sincerity. These values gained prominence in China over other doctrines, such as Legalism or Taoism during the Han Dynasty(赞一个，呵呵，这些东西我用汉语都说不清). Modern socialists have summarized rules of conduct according to Confucius and his composing.6 q1 J$ i7 `7 |

By and large(good!学习一下，呵呵), past is to present and future what the foundation is to skyscraper(a is to b what c is to d,good!呵呵，再次学习一下). We can hardly solve some problems without past experience.

读你的作文像拜读大作呢！
呵呵，内容非常丰富！用词非常丰富！
句式非常多样化！
小小不足:
第二个点全是论证，最好能有一个topic sentence
by and large(^_^), you did a great job!

我负责努力赚钱，也负责美丽妖娆。

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