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江左风华
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2011-5-10 11:35:47 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由江左风华于 2011-5-12 00:54 编辑

弱人一个.....5.28号杀T

写作文是老大难，论据论点要想半天，句子表达也很纠结，基本上要鼓捣2个小时才能搞出一篇作文来，第一次贴自己的作文，诚心求拍！！

The best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries, agree or disagree?

There is a heated debate on the question of increasing teacher's salaries. Some people think it to be the best way to improve the quality of education, while the opponents argue that salary compensation is only one element that cannot be addressed without additional approaches. From my perspective of view, high salary alone is far from creating a dynamic, effective and high-qualified education system.

Teaching as a profession is viewed to be exalted and respectful, for it make no direct profits but great contribution to the transmission of knowledge and everyone's prosperous life. Thus it is inappropriate for governments to encourage an money oriented attitude towards job seeking in education field. The potential teachers should be encouraged to teach for interest, for the contribution they may bring to society, and for the students they will teach, despite of the limited income. If someone decides to become a teacher merely for money, how could he love his students and love his career, and how could he feel proud of what he have done as a teacher?
Admittedly, it is unavoidable that salary consideration dissuades some intelligent college students from choosing teaching profession as their career, but what we want to hire is not the intelligent one but the determined one. However, Highly paid compensation towards teachers may just work oppositely, which fails to distinguish a determined one from income goers.

Important as the candidates' intension is, a fair and efficient mechanism of teacher selecting, which requires a revolution in education system instead of merely monetary expanding, should never be overlooked. Currently, most of our school teachers come from normal universities, which has been the biggest monopolist of the job market in this particular field. By giving a teacher license only to their own students, they kept other students from entering the teaching profession. In fact a student from a notable university tend to be more intelligent than his normal school peers, for both a higher score in college entrance exam and a deeper exploration into his major. Consider this, It is useless to expand the candidate pool by giving a higher pay, because nothing could change without a reform in the selecting mechanism.

Beside of teacher's quality, changing education pattern and investing on advanced equipment deserves equal importance in this high-tech world. Old education pattern like score oriented study and large scale of class has been criticized for years. Scores made numerous students turn to "test animals", lack of imagination and creativity, which is a education tragedy to the whole society. Crowded students in class is another problem, making teaching process less efficient and leaving bad performed students overlooked by their teacher. More resource and concentration should be shift to solve these problems as well as replacing the old and worn-out teaching equipment with advanced facilities.

In conclusion, improving education quality is not a easy problem, which need a comprehensive approach including monetary expanding and mechanism reforming. It is too simple to take it for granted that increasing teacher's salaries is the best way to achieve this goal.

作文

5月10号独立作文

本帖最后由江左风华于 2011-5-11 15:43 编辑

For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities?

No topic in education is more reliable to cause heated debate than the budget priority shifted between elementary education and university education. Some put forward the idea that university education which plays a critical  role in cultivating intelligent and committed future leaders deserves to be put in the first place, however, opponents strongly disagree with the opinion in which the significance of  primary school teaching is quiet overlooked. From my perspective of view, the government should focus its budget more on young children education rather than on universities.

The first and foremost, childhood is the most crucial time to study knowledge and to build correct learning attitude in one's life, which lies a solid foundation for the future exploration. Researches showed that most of our learning and living habits, affecting profoundly in our life, are established in the earlier ages. Distinguished scholars or business leaders, differentiated on personalities and characteristic, do have one thing in common, imagination and creativity. These precious qualities could only be acquired under dynamic, instinctive, and comprehensive instructor from grade 1 to grade 12, and must be hold on in high-level study.

Unfortunately, children in our country seem to have done a bad performance in creative work, leading to a depression of innovation in both science and commercial fields.  One important reason contributes to this problem is the score-oriented, stereotyped, and restricted teaching patterns that have been received by our pupils. It is inappropriate for the university preferred ones to ignore this education fail and allocate a heavier weight of universtity education on people's success.

It may be somewhat surprised to acknowledge that American states have been distributed  annually 2 thirds of its education fund to elementary education.  It's often considered that a university which is composed of gorgeous buildings, complex experiment facilities and famous professions undeniably cost more. The overlooked fact is the differential of quantity between universities and primary schools. Universities aim to educate the intelligent few, while primary schools serve for the whole at a basic level. Important as elite education is, fundamental education is never the less but far more significant.

Never should we ignore the key fact that primary schools play a more important role than colleges to realize education equity. Though it seems quiet fair for students to be given administration into universities by their scores in the National College Entrance Exam. However, districts and family conditions restricts many talented and eager ones from moving on in their academic life. Some drop out at a very young age because of poverty, and others, most of whom come from less developed cities or towns or even remote villages, make their way hard into a good university under years of skill-lack teaching and condition-restrained study. It is unavoidable to recognize that many of our primary schools are still in poor condition, lack of fundamental equipment and professional teachers. Thus, concentrate more on promoting elementary education does have something to do with educational equity and social justice seriously.

In conclusion, what we've been debating above is tightly related to the lives of the students and families all across China in profound ways. This debate over budget and priority in education is about more than just numbers on a page, more than just allocating and spending. It's about the kind of country that we believe in, about the kind of future we want to have, and about the fundamental rights that we believe to be shared by all the human beings.

杀T

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板凳

发表于 2011-5-12 00:48:26 |只看该作者

5.11独立

本帖最后由江左风华于 2011-5-12 00:49 编辑

Do you agree or disagree that with thefollowing statement: It's more important for the governmentto spend money to build art museums and music performance center than to buildrecreational facilities(such as swimming pool, playground) 10 01 22NA4 P1 @' s4 F&

The difference between building an art museum and digging a swimming pool is more than creating different concrete bodies, it is about what kind of culture we want to have, about what kind of life we want to pursue. In this point, I hold the belief that the government should raise funds to establish an art museum or a music performance center rather than recreational facilities.

To start with, art including music makes great contribution to the contents of our culture and history. Painters and musicians create beautiful art pieces which is a lively portrait of the then life style, circumstances, with a demonstration of spirit states in a society. To preserve these art works, and make them accessible to all people is the fundamental obligation of an art museum. By these means, culture has passed on from generation to generation, and we can know who we are, where we came from and how our ancestors used to live.

Furthermore, art museums educate the public in both moral and aesthetic realm. In the world of visual images, however, the museum is the primary source for education, merely by existing, by preserving and exhibiting works of art. What the artists depicted in the drawings will pass on directly to the people gazing at it, his emotion, value and his philosophy. Audience will also have a rough sense about paintings, painters and the history of art through exhibitions, and gradually get to know what a masterpiece is like to be, and how to appreciate it fully. An art museum is educational, in the broadest and best sense.

Important as educational process is, the museum is less a place to learn about art than a place in which to enjoy it. An art museum exists for our pleasure, for recreation and the kind of quiet contemplation that suit each of us best. Every time we feel lonely and upset, a glimpse at these quiet, gorgeous paintings, or a moment for Bach and Chopin, will drive away depression and instruct us to appreciate beautiful things again.

In conclusion, art museums and music performance centers serve for entertainment, moral up lift and popular taste improvements, and an absence of these buildings is a great lose to public spiritual life. That is why I strongly recommend that it is crucial important for the government to support such cultural places.

杀T

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地板

发表于 2011-5-12 18:10:21 |只看该作者

The difference between building an art museum and digging a swimming pool is more than creating different concrete bodies, it is about what kind of culture we want to have, about what kind of life we want to pursue. In this point, I hold the belief that the government (governments) should raise funds to establish an art museum or a music performance center rather than recreational facilities.

To start with, art including music makes great contribution to the contents of our culture and history. Painters and musicians create beautiful art pieces which is a lively portrait of the then life style, circumstances, with a demonstration of spirit states in a society. To preserve these art works, and make them accessible to all people is the fundamental obligation of an art museum. By these means, culture has passed on from generation to generation, and we can know who we are, where we came from and how our ancestors used to live. (前面几句都是空话啊，中间的那一句说到了一点，但是还是说museum应该保护艺术作品。)

Furthermore, art museums educate the public in both moral and aesthetic realm. In the world of visual images, however, the museum is the primary source for education, merely by existing, by preserving and exhibiting works of art. What the artists depicted in the drawings will pass on directly to the people（who） gazing at it, his emotion, value and his philosophy. Audience will also have a rough sense about paintings, painters and the history of art through exhibitions, and gradually get to know what a masterpiece is like to be, and how to appreciate it fully. An art museum is educational, in the broadest and best sense.（说了意义，但是没说到最重要的点上，museum有教育意义，所以呢？）

Important as educational process is, the museum is less a place to learn about art than a place in which to enjoy it. An art museum exists for our pleasure, for recreation and the kind of quiet contemplation that suit each of us best. Every time we feel lonely and upset, a glimpse at these quiet, gorgeous paintings, or a moment for Bach and Chopin, will drive away depression and instruct us to appreciate beautiful things again.

In conclusion, art museums and music performance centers serve for entertainment, moral up lift and popular taste improvements, and an absence of these buildings is a great lose to public spiritual life. That is why I strongly recommend that it is crucial important for the government (governments)to support such cultural places.

语法方面很好，感觉写了很一些没有观点的套话，不过注意一下就好了。加油！

fright for GT！

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5楼

发表于 2011-5-12 19:44:15 |只看该作者

谢谢！！

杀T

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6楼

发表于 2011-5-13 07:21:38 |只看该作者

The difference between building an art museum and digging a swimming pool is more than creating different concrete bodies, it is about what kind of culture we want to have, about what kind of life we want to pursue.  In this point, I hold the belief that the government should raise funds to establish an art museum or a music performance center rather than recreational facilities.
# [& J# H5 N! a. i* m# b3 }' Z& S# o5 e: w. }% w8 [( @
To start with, art including music makes great contribution to the contents of our culture and history. Painters and musicians create beautiful art pieces which is a lively portrait of the then life style, circumstances, with a demonstration of spirit states in a society. To preserve these art works, and make them accessible to all people is the fundamental obligation of an art museum. By these means, culture has passed on from generation to generation, and we can know who we are, where we came from and how our ancestors used to live. 6 w- z  `9 E8 P/ C( Y' V# n* M: W

8 `" Z" t% G6 h7 j9 YFurthermore, art museums educate the public in both moral and aesthetic realm. In the world of visual images, however, the museum is the primary source for education, merely by existing, by preserving and exhibiting works of art. What the artists depicted in the drawings will pass on directly to the people gazing at it, his emotion, value and his philosophy. Audience will also have a rough sense about paintings, painters and the history of art through exhibitions, and gradually get to know what a masterpiece is like to be, and how to appreciate it fully. An art museum is educational, in the broadest and best sense.可以举例说明，比如中国古代流传下来的书画可以让我们更好的了解那个朝代人们的生活，如果没有博物馆保存，这些书画不知去向，我们也缺少了了解历史的途径。: H$ Z" j( B9可以 Y7 W
* y3 x2 o- ~' n5 J- H7 A% _" @
Important as educational process is, the museum is less a place to learn about art than a place in which to enjoy it. An art museum exists for our pleasure, for recreation and the kind of quiet contemplation that suit each of us best. Every time we feel lonely and upset, a glimpse at these quiet, gorgeous paintings, or a moment for Bach and Chopin, will drive away depression and instruct us to appreciate beautiful things again.- e1 W3 S1 I  V& d/ w
4 o" l  s0 N  C
In conclusion, art museums and music performance centers serve for entertainment, moral up lift and popular taste improvements, and an absence of these buildings is a great lose to public spiritual life. That is why I strongly recommend that it is crucial important for the government to support such cultural places.
语法很好，羡慕，但感觉作者都是在说大空话没有具体事例，最好积累一下例子使文章显得更生动。  而且感觉一二段说保存文物流传下来教育人们其实都是一个意思，可以从另外一个方面，比如说一个博物馆承载了一个国家的文明，是这个国家文化的象征，在外国友人来我们国家参观时可以像他们展示我们的文明史，让他们更好的了解我们。

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7楼

发表于 2011-5-14 16:23:09 |只看该作者

你的建议很好！谢谢

杀T

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8楼

发表于 2011-5-15 20:17:00 |只看该作者

5.16独立

本帖最后由江左风华于 2011-5-17 14:06 编辑

Move to a new city or not?

As technology improved and interaction between districts closer, it is more often for people to move to a new city or a new country in nowadays. Attending a college far away or seeking a job in a new city contributes to a significant part of the reasons why people move. Inevitablly, there's hazards to lose our intimate friends who have been familiar to us for years. However, I think this couldn't be the obstacle that prevent people from moving away.

First of all, metropolis are accessible to better education and occupation, which lies the foundation of a promising future. Most of the famous universities in China are located in capital cities or municipalities, like Beijing, Shanghai, Hangzhou, Wuhan and so on. The same is as with the distribution of companies. Easier job seeking and better career development gives metropolis an obvious edge on its less developed counterparts. Thus, I think, it is unwise to give up the opportunity to move to these cities because of unwillingness to move. Chances never comes back if you don't catch it.

Futhermore, there is a tendency that people are easier to become narrow minded after years' living in a same place, and their interpersonal circle becomes limited too. Changing for a new environment would be an effective approach to broaden one's horizon as well as his friends circle. In my home town, a small city in south China, most youngster desire to go out for broader horizon. My friends and me are right among them, and after years' study in a big city like Beijing, we reach to the same conclusion that it was a wise decision to go out . And we find ourselves learn more, know more and easier to accept new thoughts than our hometown remained peers.

Finally,
lose of old friend doesn't come up with the moving subseqently. As mobile phones widely used and internet easier accessed, people can keep a tight relationship with their old friends at a long distance. Facebook and Twitter are typical examples. Many young people like to update their fresh news on Facebook and Twitter, and the frequent ones can change his status 2 or 3 times per day! By these means, friendship goes on despite of separation.

Youth means to go out, to learn, to experience, to confront. We should embrace rather than keep away from new environments and new life.

杀T

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9楼

发表于 2011-5-17 16:33:11 |只看该作者

5.17独立写作

本帖最后由江左风华于 2011-5-17 16:46 编辑

Movies should always show audience good people are being rewarded and bad people are being punished, agree or disagree?

      The booming movie industry now offers us many choices when we stand at the counter of a cinema discussing which movie is worth watching and which is not. Some argue that movies should always show good people rewarded and bad people punished, while others do not agree with it, they think movies should not follow that patterns. As to me, I prefer the latter.

      A stereotyped plot makes a less interesting. Audience is always curious, that is to say, they’d like to view something new, something unusual, something out of routine when they watch a film. If they can guess the end at the start of a movie, knowing good man will finally beat the evil, they will lose their enthusiasm to go on. Discouraged by watching such stereotyped movies several times, audience will finally lose interest to go to cinemas, which in turn damages the whole industry a lot.

      Admittedly children will be taught to believe in virtue and justice through such movies, however, when they grow up they will finally find the world doesn’t go along the routine depicted in the movies. Good people may suffer from tragedy and misfortune, while the evil can live a prosperous and respectful life. Not to mention the indistinct boundary between a good and a evil. That there is neither absolute good man nor absolute bad man is right the truth of the real world. Rather than telling fairy tales about heroes beating the dragon, it is wiser to teach children think over the real world gradually.

      Educational as it is, movie is more an entertainment to enjoy. Movies exist for our pleasure and for recreation and the kind of comfort that suits each of best. We can relieve our anxiety through a comedy, loneliness through a romantic one, and depression though a encouraging one. People go to movies not for moral education but for amusement, inspiration and consolation. It would be quiet disappointing that this entertainment turns out to be a moral textbook.

      As far as I am concerned, it is not advisable for movies to show audience good people are rewarded and bad people punished. Movies are open and unlimited, which should not be compelled to follow such an stereotyped pattern.

杀T

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10楼

发表于 2011-5-17 23:30:13 |只看该作者

哥们，是在对不住，今天一天课，刚有空改完
PS，高级回复可以添加附件
8# 江左风华

附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号？立即注册

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11楼

发表于 2011-5-18 02:05:59 |只看该作者

The booming movie industry now offers us many choices when we stand at the counter of a cinema discussing which movie is worth watching and which is not. Some people argue that movies should always show good people rewarded and bad people punished, while others do not agree with (it)them, they think movies should not follow that kind of fixed patterns. As to me, I prefer the latter.
      8 r9 b' P$ k$ U/ r/ d& s3 `
      A stereotyped plot makes the movie (a) less interesting. Audience is always curious, that is to say, they’d like to view something new, something unusual, something out of routine when they watch a film. If they can guess the end at the start of a movie, knowing good man will finally beat the evil, they will lose their enthusiasm to go on. Discouraged/Disappointed by watching such stereotyped movies several times, audience will finally lose interest to go to cinemas, which in turn damages the whole industry a lot.
      / _! N4 z: T0 }7 a
      Admittedly children will be taught to believe in virtue and justice through such movies, however, when they grow up they will finally find the world doesn’t go along the routine depicted in the movies. Good people may suffer from tragedy and misfortune, while the evil can live a prosperous and respectful life. Not to mention the indistinct boundary between a good and a evil. That there is neither absolute good man nor absolute bad man is right the truth of the real world. Rather than telling fairy tales about heroes beating the dragon, it is wiser to teach children thinking over the real world gradually.
      $ ?! @4 T+ X* e8 l/ c; N+ g
      Educational as it is, movie is more an entertainment to enjoy. Movies exist for our pleasure and for recreation and the kind of comfort that suits each of best这句话没看懂……. We can relieve our anxiety through a comedy, loneliness through a romantic one, and depression though a encouraging one. People go to （movies）cinemas not for moral education but for amusement, inspiration and consolation. It would be quiet disappointing that this entertainment turns out to be a moral textbook.
      * B+ k  w4 u- Z+ q% J5 {8 H# y, u7 {8 G
      As far as I am concerned, it is not advisable for movies to show audience good people are rewarded and bad people punished. Movies are open and unlimited, which should not be compelled to follow such an stereotyped pattern.文章的思想有了，说得也很清楚，能不能加点例子让倒数第二段更丰富呢？而且个人认为倒数第二段和正数第二段讲的是一个论点，可以合并的。赞好人坏人没有绝对区分。

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12楼

发表于 2011-5-18 13:16:45 |只看该作者

The booming(of) movie industry now offers us many choices when we stand at the counter of a cinema discussing which movie is worth watching and which is not. Some argue that movies should always show good people rewarded and bad people punished, while others do not agree with it, they think movies should not follow that patterns. As to me, I prefer the latter.
6 P( Q. b  G/ o       - G' ?* D! r, x6 V+ \
      A stereotyped plot makes a less interesting. Audience is always curious, that is to say, they’d like to view something new, something unusual, something out of routine when they watch a film. If 这句应该是虚拟吧是的话时态就有问题they can guess the end at the start of a movie, knowing good man will finally beat the evil, they will lose their enthusiasm to go on. Discouraged by watching such stereotyped movies several times, audience will finally lose interest to go to cinemas, which in turn damages the whole industry a lot.' }  K  h4 y, ?8 Z3 [
      : ^5 S  Y% P: T# D( a
      Admittedly children will be taught to believe in virtue and justice through such movies, however, when they grow up they will finally find the world doesn’t go along the routine depicted in the movies. 这前面你说了一个现象所以呢结果是什么？Good people may suffer from tragedy and misfortune, while the evil can live a prosperous and respectful life. Not to mention the indistinct boundary between a good and a evil. That there is neither absolute good man nor absolute bad man is right the truth of the real world. Rather than telling fairy tales about heroes beating the dragon, it is wiser to teach children think over the real world gradually.
( G7 m5 ~  `5 `. h$ K: [* t& {7 Y5 C       $ n0 C2 ?+ a. E) Z8 A7 ]) f
      Educational as it is, movie is more an entertainment to enjoy. Movies exist for our pleasure and for recreation and the kind of comfort that suits each of best. We can relieve our anxiety through a comedy, loneliness through a romantic one, and depression though a encouraging one. People go to movies not for moral education but for amusement, inspiration and consolation. It would be quiet disappointing that this entertainment turns out to be a moral textbook.
  d1 j  [8 M% M) {/ C8 Z" }) ?0 J       : Q5 J+ T. Q# x* h4 V, O
      As far as I am concerned, it is not advisable for movies to show audience good people are rewarded and bad people punished. Movies are open and unlimited, which should not be compelled to follow such an stereotyped pattern.

个人认为文章需要写的鲜明人家批改有没有1分钟呀
文章缺少例子他们喜欢细节
文章大体逻辑没什么问题段落内部逻辑需要加强
你的文章格式貌似有问题吧开头空格与段与段之间空行的问题你可以咨询下

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13楼

发表于 2011-5-18 16:20:16 |只看该作者

谢谢两位朋友的修改看来我写文章缺乏例子都已经成为老毛病了

杀T

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14楼

发表于 2011-5-18 16:21:36 |只看该作者

5.18独立写作

本帖最后由江左风华于 2011-5-18 16:51 编辑

Is it only worth watching movies that teach us about real life.
The booming movie industry now offers us many choices when we stand in at the counter of a cinema discussing which movie is worth watching and which is not,for my perspective, I agree that many exellent movies do teach us something about real life, but it is too arbitrary to assert that only such films is worth watching.
It is easy for those realistic films to become a classic one, for life is a permanent topic in literary and art fields, audience are likely to be moved by the happiness and sorrows about life. On the other hand, to the directors and adaptors, movie is the best way to demonstrate their inner world, their emotion and values, and their philosophy. To tell something about life could inspire their creativity to the most.
A movie, however, can be enjoyed for many reasons that have little to do with the story or the subtleties of theme or character.Among them, music is an significant one. Take Moulin Rouge for instance, the plot is nothing special, what attracts audience most is the beautiful voice of Nichole Kidman and Ewan McGregor, as well as the well-composed music. Similar reasons could be given to the success of the Phantom of music, Mamma mia and Evita.
Love is another reason people go to movies. A beautiful young woman, a handsome young man and a romantic encounter between them is quiet enough to creat a unforgetable film. Roman Holiday is the best example, which has nothing serious, nothing thought-provoking, but Audrey Hepburn's beauty and Gregory Peck's enchantment.
To the public, movie is a convinient and costless amusement. The tired one go to a movie for relax, the depressed for company, the lovelorn for memory, the idle for killing time. These movies may be of less enlightment, but they means a lot to people’s life,to whom, life is burdened enough that it is cruel to suffer again in the movies.
In a word, movie is as aesthetic as entertaining. As an art, a masterpiece is indispensible of exploration into human life and society. Meanwhile, as en entertainment, music, love, actors and actress all make the reasons for people to watch a film. It is inapproapriat to say that only realistic films is worth watching.

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