[a习作temp] 【GRE作文互助组】死胖子的作业帖---argument习作贴 [复制链接]

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电梯直达

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发表于 2012-8-8 23:37:55 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

第一篇比较认真的A吧……希望不要又被删了……

26. The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.
"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades, food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

The study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia attempts to warrant an argument by presenting an unstated assumption that by using salicylates in a new way, as flavor additives, would make a continuously steady decline in the number of the citizens suffering a headache. Although salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin which is used to treat headaches, we can easily find that the argument is not well supported.

First, the study assumes that during the twenty years, the declining number of headache citizens is related with salicylates's increasing using by food-processing. However, living condition have made a significant change, the decreasing number of headache residents is likely contributed by cleaner environment and healthier life-style. Even if salicylates made great efforts to decrease the number during the past several decades, there is not convincing surveys to identify the salicylates come from preservatives putted by workers, but not from the food naturally, it would be possible that the dose of salicylates of foods is improved by newly technology. Besides, though salicylates were used as preservatives, the study does not show whether people take preservatives directly in just as food, if the salicylates were apart from food with a paper bag, making people could not eat, the addict salicyates would not make a chance.

Secondly, implying the quantity of salicylates to be used as flavor addicitves is enough for make a passive influence on headache patients, the study make the optimistic conclusion. What if the quantity of flavor addicitives is too less to be numbered, how do the salicylates make efficient efforts? On the other hand, the increase of salicylates' dose is not equal to the decrease of headache citizens. If the salicylates have a peak value of threating headaches, which means when the dose over the value, the effluence salicylates make will not change, even more, might be negative.

Finally, the average number of headaches reported by participants may not be trust as we do not know the components of the participants. It is possible that they did research with people younger and healthier in the latest years so the number must be going down. Otherwise, some residents of Menia might migrant to other places, leading to a fewer population basic number, also make the decrease to be likelihood.

Put all these critiques into one word--that is more accurately data and convincing surveys need to show up. The study should consider about how the salicylates do functions to threat headaches, and control the factors to prevent from other influences.

[a习作temp] 【GRE作文互助组】死胖子的作业帖---argument习作贴 [复制链接]

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