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d_messiah
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电梯直达

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发表于 2005-7-21 11:15:49 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

167. A folk remedy* for insomnia, the scent in lavender flowers, has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored. During the first week, volunteers continued to take their usual sleeping medication. They slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. During the second week, the volunteers discontinued their medication. As a result, they slept less soundly than the previous week and felt even more tired. During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks. This shows that over a short period of time lavender cures insomnia.

A folk remedy is usually a plant-based form of treatment common to traditional forms of medicine, ones that developed before the advent of modern medical services and technology.

一种治疗失眠的偏方--薰衣草花香，现在被证明是有效的。在一次最近的调查中，30名患有慢性失眠的志愿者在三周之内每晚都在一个受监视的控制室内睡在带薰衣草花香的枕头上。在第一周，志愿者继续服用他们常用的安眠药。他们睡得很沉但醒来时很累。在第二周，他们不服用药物。结果与前一周相比他们睡得不那么沉并且感觉更累。在第三周，他们睡得比前两周时间长而且更深。这表明薰衣草在短时间内治愈了失眠。

*偏方通常是一种在传统医药中常见的植物治疗形式，这些传统医药是在现代医药服务和科技出现之前发展起来的。

In this argument, based on a study, the arguer concludes that lavender can cure insomina in a short time. By a carefull examination, such a process of reasoning exposes several critical flaws as follows.

To begin with, the arguer fails to provide any information about the state of tireness about the volunteers in the 3rd week durning the study. Comparing the results of the former two weeks, it is possible that the volunteers in the 3rd week feel more tired after get up. If so, the tireness will no doubt affect them in the daytime and in evening they feel more tired, which is possible the true facor causing them sleep more soundly in the night. For that matter, they will likely adapt the relatively new circumstance where the study conducted, and so they can sleep well than before in the 3rd week.

Next, the arguer unfairly assumes that after 3 weeks sleeping on lavender-scented pillows, the volunteers with chronic insomnia sleep better than before the study. The arguer fails to take into account the likelihood that in the 1st week, the volunteers sleep wores than before for the reason that they sleep in a new circumstance. Common sense tells us that for most common persons, such is very probably the case. Moreover, after sleeping in such a controlled room in 3 weeks, the volunteers have completely adopted it, and then came back to their normal state of sleep. Because in the argument, we can only get the comparement of variety during the study going, but no data comparing between during the study and before it.

Even if the state of the volunteers' sleep increas after the 3-week study, nevertheless, the arguer's conclusion that lavender can cure insominia is unwarranted because the arguer fails to provide any envedence about whether these volunteers sleep better and get rid of insomnia after leeping on lavender-scented pillows. Perhaps, lavender can only help people to sleep better but not break away from insomnia. For that matter, the arguer fails to provide any evidence whether there is a control, in which the other 30 volenteers also with chronic insomnia sleep in the same situation except that on lavender-scented pillows. Without the control, the result of the study is statistically unreliable, and then we can not accept the arguer's conclusion that lavender can cure insomnia.

To sum up, the argument is open to doubt. Unless the the arguer can omit such key issues and cite sufficient evidence to strengthen the argument, we can not accept it.

[ Last edited by d_messiah on 2005-7-21 at 11:35 ]

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czzb
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沙发

发表于 2005-7-21 13:57:56 |只看该作者

In this argument, based on a study, the arguer concludes that lavender can cure insomina in a short time. By a carefull examination, such a process of reasoning exposes several critical flaws as follows.

To begin with, the arguer fails to provide any information about the state of tireness about the volunteers in the 3rd week durning the study. Comparing the results of the former two weeks, it is possible that the volunteers in the 3rd week feel more tired after get up. If so, the tireness will no doubt affect them in the daytime and in evening they feel more tired, which is possible the true facor causing them sleep more soundly in the night. For that matter, they will likely adapt the relatively new circumstance where the study conducted, and so they can sleep well betterthan before in the 3rd week.

Next, the arguer unfairly assumes that after 3 weeks sleeping on lavender-scented pillows, the volunteers with chronic insomnia sleep better than before the study. The arguer fails to take into account the likelihood that in the 1st week, the volunteers sleep wores than before for the reason that they sleep in a new circumstance. Common sense tells us that for most common persons people, such is very probably it is qiute likely the case. Moreover, after sleeping in such a controlled room in 3 weeks, the volunteers have completely adopted adapted to/got accustomed to it, and then came back to their normal state of sleep. Because in the argument, we can only get the comparement of variety during the study going, but no data comparing between during the study and before it.
//这一段有两个主题这样不好第一句不能总领全段
Even if the state of the volunteers' sleep increas after the 3-week study, nevertheless, the arguer's conclusion that lavender can cure insominia is unwarranted because the arguer fails to provide any envedence spellingabout whether these volunteers sleep better and get rid of insomnia after leeping on lavender-scented pillows. Perhaps, lavender can only help people to sleep better but not break away from insomnia. For that matter, the arguer fails to provide any evidence whether there is a control group, in which the other 30 volenteers also with chronic insomnia sleep in the same situation except that on lavender-scented pillows. Without the control, the result of the study is statistically unreliable, and then we can not accept the arguer's conclusion that lavender can cure insomnia.

To sum up, the argument is open to doubt. Unless the the arguer can omit??? such key issues and cite sufficient evidence to strengthen the argument, we can not accept it.

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

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Alexandra
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板凳

发表于 2005-7-21 15:05:46 |只看该作者

帮你校友明天回你贴

那些允许被任性的年代，叫做青春。

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htpeng
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地板

发表于 2005-7-21 23:56:54 |只看该作者

In this argument, based on a study, the arguer concludes that lavender can cure insomina in a short time. By a carefull examination, such a process of reasoning exposes several critical flaws as follows.

To begin with, the arguer fails to provide any information about the state of tireness about the volunteers in the 3rd week durning the study. Comparing the results of the former two weeks, it is possible that the volunteers in the 3rd week feel more tired after get up. If so, the tireness will no doubt affect them in the daytime and in evening they feel more tired, which is possible the true facor causing them sleep more soundly in the night. For that matter, they will likely adapt the relatively new circumstance where the study conducted, and so they can sleep well than before in the 3rd week. 这段思路很好，可以看出来是作者审题仔细的结果

Next, the arguer unfairly assumes that after 3 weeks sleeping on lavender-scented pillows, the volunteers with chronic insomnia sleep better than before the study. The arguer fails to take into account the likelihood that in the 1st week, the volunteers sleep wores than before for the reason that they sleep in a new circumstance. Common sense tells us that for most common persons, such is very probably the case. Moreover, after sleeping in such a controlled room in 3 weeks, the volunteers have completely adapted to it, and then came back to their normal state of sleep. Because in the argument, we can only get the comparement of variety during the study going, but no data comparing between during the study and before it.

Even if the state of the volunteers' sleep increas after the 3-week study, nevertheless, the arguer's conclusion that lavender can cure insominia is unwarranted because the arguer fails to provide any envedence about whether these volunteers sleep better and get rid of insomnia after leeping on lavender-scented pillows. Perhaps, lavender can only help people to sleep better but not break away from insomnia. For that matter, the arguer fails to provide any evidence whether there is a control, in which the other 30 volenteers also with chronic insomnia sleep in the same situation except that on lavender-scented pillows. Without the control, the result of the study is statistically unreliable, and then we can not accept the arguer's conclusion that lavender can cure insomnia.

To sum up, the argument is open to doubt. Unless the the arguer can omit such key issues and cite sufficient evidence to strengthen the argument, we can not accept it.

看了后觉得分析的很到位,尤其是简短的开头和结尾更能突显出中间部分分析的有力.想到了很关键的地方.行文之间也很少错误.不要怪我改的少,的确很少有可以改的地方.向你学习!

[ Last edited by htpeng on 2005-7-21 at 23:59 ]

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ardorous
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5楼

发表于 2005-7-21 23:57:06 |只看该作者

呵呵，谢谢帮改，求讨论false dilemma,马上帮你拍

根据孙远书：是指把复杂的问题简单化为非此即彼的问题，当时理解是arguer 认为除了船就不能过河，所以认为是这种错误，请解答

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ardorous
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6楼

发表于 2005-7-22 00:35:07 |只看该作者

我来也，不怕疼啊，请继续帮我修改啊

In this argument, based on a study, the arguer concludes that lavender can cure insomina in a short time. By a careful(l) examination, such a process of reasoning exposes several critical flaws as follows.（一般提供的摸板，要说明支持论点的assumptions or evidences,这样起到一个让读者清楚你要反驳的几个方面，基本上范文都是这样的）

To begin with, the arguer fails to provide any information about the state of tireness(tire有名词意的) about the volunteers in the 3rd week during the study. Comparing the results of( with ,to ) the former two weeks, it is possible that the volunteers in the 3rd week feel more tired after get up. If so, the tireness will no doubt affect them in the daytime and in evening they feel more tired, which is possible the true facor(factor) causing them sleep more soundly in the night. For that matter, they will likely adapt the relatively new circumstance where the study conducted, and so they can sleep well than before in the 3rd week.

Next, the arguer unfairly assumes that after 3 weeks sleeping on lavender-scented pillows, the volunteers with chronic insomnia sleep better than before the study. The arguer fails to take into account the likelihood that in the 1st week, the volunteers sleep wores(?) than before for the reason that they sleep in a new circumstance. Common sense tells us that for most common persons, such is very probably the case. Moreover, after sleeping in such a controlled room in 3 weeks, the volunteers have completely adopted it, and then came back to their normal state of sleep. Because in the argument, we can only get the comparement(compare) of variety during the study going, but no data comparing between during the study and before it.(有些论证与前面重合了)Even if the state of the volunteers' sleep increase after the 3-week study, nevertheless, the arguer's conclusion that lavender can cure insomnia is unwarranted because the arguer fails to provide any envedence(evidence) about whether these volunteers sleep better and get rid of insomnia after leeping(sleeping) on lavender-scented pillows. Perhaps, lavender can only help people to sleep better but not break away from insomnia.（这个说法有点让人不明白，这不上承认它有效吗） For that matter, the arguer fails to provide any evidence whether there is a control, in which the other 30 volenteers also with chronic insomnia sleep in the same situation except that on lavender-scented pillows. Without the control, the result of the study is statistically unreliable, and then we can not accept the arguer's conclusion that lavender can cure insomnia.(请注意打字，呵呵，有些错呢，还可以把文中语言界定一下，它说的是慢性的失眠，你三个星期的研究是对慢性还是普通的有效呢，还有common sense慢性病有可能是心理因素造成的，非物理手段能治也，不如一个公司经理，压力大睡不着，这样的办法跟本没用)

To sum up, the argument is open to doubt. Unless the the arguer can omit such key issues and cite sufficient evidence to strengthen the argument, we can not accept it.（还有一些可批的，30个人，是否有代表性，如果有些是本地人，适应环境些，有些不是，生活根本不适应；是否有小孩，在陌生地方没安全感；这些人白天都干些什么，是否工作量相同）提个建议，摸板可以不要，思路最好跟它吻合，最后一段一般提改进意见的，第一段展开，中间的论证都是假设，建议多用让步，逻辑性还强些，好了，继续交流吧

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