[a习作temp] Argument166 第一次限时写的，肯请各位提宝贵意见！小女子感激不尽！ [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-12-12 16:45:38 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

我现在就是担心分析的不够透彻！请大家帮我看看，我应该注意那方面的问题！谢谢！
166 "People should not be misled by the advertising competition between Coldex and Cold-Away, both popular over-the-counter cold medications that anyone can purchase without a doctor's prescription. Each brand is accusing the other of causing some well-known, unwanted side effect: Coldex is known to contribute to existing high blood pressure and Cold-Away is known to cause drowsiness. But the choice should be clear for most health-conscious people: Cold-Away has been on the market for much longer and is used by more hospitals than is Coldex. Clearly, Cold-Away is more effective."
下面是我的写作.
Merely depended on a series of groundless assumption and dubious evidence, the arguer maintains that Cold-Away is more effective than Coldex. On the surface, the conclusion seems to be somewhat logical, however, a careful examination reveals how unwarranted the conclusion is.

First of all, the arguer fails to provide any sign that Cold-Away is more effective by contrasting the unwanted side effect of Coldex with that of Cold-Away. Although the arguer admits Cold-Away has the side effect, which may cause drowsiness. But there is no indication to show Cold-Anay is better than Coldex, in other word, it is difficult to estimate which is better between the side effect of Coldex with existing high blood pressure and that of Cold-Away with causing drowsiness. Maybe Coldex is more effective for the people who have high blood pressure in order to avoid to enhance the blood pressure, or the cold-Away is better for the driver for less drowsiness. Only based on the analysis of the side effect, we can not find any information that Cold-Away is more effective.

Moreover, the arguer commits a fallacy of hasty generalization. Even if Cold-Away has been on the market for longer, it is entirely possible that Coldex is better than Cold-Away. As a new medication, maybe Coldex has taken good use of the advantages of Cold-Away, or it is been produced by using taken advanced technology and methods, and has more advantages to deal with the cold. Thus Coldex may be more effective than Cold-Away although it comes into the market for shorter. Moreover, the evidence of more hospitals using Cold-Away does not provide enough support to the conclusion that Cold-Away is more effective. Maybe, the reason that more hospitals use Cold-Away is that Cold-Away rises earlier and has their own regular clients. Coldex comes into the market laster and maybe there are few hospitals and people learn about and accept it, let alone pursuing it. Therefore, it is great unwarranted to hastily draw the conclusion that Cold-away is more effective based on the evidence that more hospitals use Cold-Away.

In sum, the conclusion lacks the credibility because the evidence cited in the analysis does not lend strong support to what the arguer maintains, To make the argument more convincing, the arguer should provide more evidences concerning the advantages and side effects for curing cold. Otherwise, the argument is logically unacceptable.
谢谢大家，请提宝贵意见！

[ Last edited by 11yaoyao on 2005-12-12 at 16:54 ]