[i习作temp] issue130 欢迎指正，也找平时能互改作文的g友 [复制链接]

yuemxl
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发表于 2006-2-23 15:25:30 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

我是4.28号考作文，西安考生，现在issue写了四五篇，处于模仿阶段
如果愿意互相修改作文，和我联系 qq：67702887 ：） Email:kejie@mail.xjtu.edu.cn

Top: “How children are socialized today determine the density of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.”

Synopsis:
Position: I disagree with the speaker’s viewpoints strongly. In my view, the author’s first assertion is an over-statement at best and exaggerates the role of socializing in children’s growth, and the assumption that we don’t have the ability to cultivate children to bring about a better society is also poorly supported by the reality experience.
A: Admittedly, children-socialized will certainly help children to interact with others better and communicate with peers more effectively.
B: However, the socializing could not be seen as the only factor that influence the extend to which an individual will ultimately contribute to the society, even it is could not be regarded as the key factor.
C: While it is assumed that we could not raise children to bring about a better society, there are evidences, on the contrary, suggest that the children in the 50s and 60s are creating the exact better society toady.

Text:
  The speaker makes a first claim that the density of society is determined by the level of children be socialized, and concludes that we have not yet learned how to raise children to bring about a better society. I disagree with the speaker’s viewpoints strongly. In my view, the author’s first assertion is an over-statement at best and exaggerates the role of socializing in children’s growth, and the assumption that we don’t have the ability to cultivate children to bring about a better society is also poorly supported by the reality experience.
  Admittedly, there is no doubt that the children will determine the future density of society. Consider the children-socialized mentioned in the claim, if we define it as learning acceptable and unacceptable behaviors for a given environment, whose goal is to cultivate the children’s ability of calibrating their behaviors with respect to different society settings and manage their emotions, it will certainly help children to interact with others better and communicate with peers more effectively. Moreover, it is an important content in the education process which has an equal necessity with the academic knowledge. The spirit of cooperation has become more and more important with the development of the modern society. In this sense, the children-socialized plays a great part for developing the students’ ability of cooperation with others, and its role in the growth of children could not be replaced by any other learning.
  However, the socializing could not be seen as the only factor that influence the extend to which an individual will ultimately contribute to the society, even it is could not be regarded as the key factor. Consider the purpose of education, which is to cultivate the confidence to his or her life and develop the students’ career skills for varied kinds of professions. An individual could survive in the society only after he owns the professional skills. In my view, how could we live on ourselves should be the primacy theme in our life and the source of confidence, the socializing must be on this basis. Aside from the profession teaching and socializing, there are also many other parts in the instruction process, for example, the moral education, which ensure an individual accepted by the public, and the literal and academic knowledge to broaden the insights, and even the cultivation of good habits of daily life. Consequently, the socializing is only one parts of children’s education, placing too much emphasize would be unwise.
  Then turn to the speaker’s next claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children to bring about a better society. There may be many different concepts of ‘better society’ in different people’s eyes. We could define it as the greater respect of individual rights, the more civilized residents, and the better conditions of people’s life, all of which are the common characters in a better society. While it is assumed that we could not raise children to bring about a better society, there are evidences, on the contrary, suggest that the children in the 50s and 60s are creating the exact better society toady. In the recent years, the global economy has been the highest level in the human history, the war and the conflict of different culture have been reduced greatly, most people’s basic needs of life could be satisfied and more and more international cooperation, all of these are great progresses in human’s history which are relevant to the efforts of children in the former days. Therefore, the speaker’s claim that we have not learned how to raise children effectively is not conform to the reality at least and worried about children’s future unnecessarily.
  In conclusion, the speaker’s dual claims have an extreme analysis that I can not agree with, the children-socialized should be regarded as one part of education contents, and should be paid equal attention with the profession instruction, moral education and the cultivating the self-confidence. At the same time, the real-world experience could not support effectively the author’s second assertion; we should depend on the case-by-case analysis for different parents and families.

[ 本帖最后由 staralways 于 2006-2-24 00:47 编辑 ]