[a习作temp] argument2 【Goal to Reach Excellence小组】第5次作业 [复制链接]

瘦老鹰
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电梯直达

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发表于 2008-1-30 14:41:11 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ARGUMENT2 - The following appearedin a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to allhomeowners in Deerhaven Acres.

"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearbyBrookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yardsshould be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted.Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order toraise property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set ofrestrictions on landscaping and housepainting."

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In the letter, the author claims that inorder to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, the community should adoptits own set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting. To justify this conclusion, the arguerpresents the fact that seven years ago homeowners in nearby Brookvillecommunity adopt a set of restrictions on landscaping and housepainting, whichthe author believes leading to the raise of average property values inBrookville. However, close scrutiny of the evidence reveals that itaccomplishes little toward supporting the arguer’s claim, as discussed bellow.

First of all, the author believes that theincrease of the average property values in Brookville is because of theiradopting a set of restrictions on how landscaping and housepainting. However, the author fails to consider andrule out other factors that might account for the raise of property values. Forexample, if a supermarket was built in Brookville or the environment of thearea was improved, it seems that people would like to move to this community,and it would lead a raise in the property values. Besides, it is likely thatthe raise of property values not only happened in this single community but allthe country as well. If the average of property values have tripled of thewhole country, it is not surprising that the same thing happened in Brookville.

In the second place, the raise of propertyvalues in Brookville was taken place seven years ago. Even if the adopting of aset of restrictions on landscaping and house painting can really helpincreasing the value of property at that time, there is no evidence show thatthe same thing would happen now. Common sense tells that people are changingtheir tastes everyday. Maybe most people prefer a community with all the housesare of the same style seven years ago, while they are enjoying houses withunique styles today. In that case, adopting a set of restriction will have thesituation run counter to the author's desire.

Besides, the author fails to take intoaccount possible differences between Brookville and Deerhaven Acres. Forexample, if Brookville is a newly built community, the unified type of yardsand houses can make the area look neat and tidy. However, it is possible thatDeerhaven Acres is a traditional community which process many houses withseveral century history. In that case, the restriction on what colors theexteriors of homes should be painted is an offence against the history. And theproperties in this area would necessarily lose their value.

In conclusion, the argument is unconvincingas it stands. To bolster it, the arguer must show that restricting onlandscaping and housepainting can directly leads to the raise of propertyvalues today, and the author should also prove this case can not only takeplace in Brookville but Deerhaven Acres as well.

[ 本帖最后由瘦老鹰于 2008-1-31 08:26 编辑 ]

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zxistheone
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沙发

发表于 2008-2-1 16:27:13 |只看该作者

In the letter, the author claims that in order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, the community should adopt its own set of restrictions on landscaping and house painting. To justify this conclusion, the arguer presents the fact that seven years ago homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopt a set of restrictions on landscaping and house painting, which the author believes leading to the raise of average property values in Brookville. However, close scrutiny of the evidence reveals that it accomplishes little toward supporting the arguer’s claim, as discussed below.

First of all, the author believes that the increase of the average property values in Brookville is because of their adopting a set of restrictions on how有点多余 landscaping and house painting. However, the author fails to consider and rule out other factors that might account for the raise of property values. For example, if a supermarket was built in Brookville or the environment of the area was improved, it seems that people would like to move to this community, and it would lead to a raise in the property values. Besides, it is likely that the raise of property values not only happened in this single community but all
the country as well. If the average of property values have tripled in the whole country, it is not surprising that the same thing happened in Brookville.平均水平三倍化，并不一定这个社区就三倍化吧

In the second place, the raise of property values in Brookville was taken place seven years ago. 再加上主题句就好了Even if the adopting of a set of restrictions on landscaping and house painting can really help increasing the value of property at that time, there is no evidence show that the same thing would happen now. Common sense tells that people are changing their tastes everyday. Maybe most people prefer a community with all the houses are of the same style seven years ago, while they are enjoying houses with unique styles today. In that case, adopting a set of restriction will have the situation run counter to the author's desire.

Besides, the author fails to take into account possible differences between Brookville and Deerhaven Acres. For example, if Brookville is a newly built community, the unified type of yards and houses can make the area look neat and tidy. However, it is possible that Deerhaven Acres is a traditional community which possesses of many houses with a history of several century. In that case, the restriction on what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted is an offence against the history. And the properties in this area would necessarily lose their value.

In conclusion, the argument is unconvincing as it stands. To bolster it, the arguer must show that restricting on landscaping and house painting can directly leads to the raise of property values today, and the author should also prove this case can not only take place in Brookville but Deerhaven Acres as well.

总体不错，没有什么大错误，逻辑结构没有问题。但是觉得有些空洞，每段深入不够，是不是和我一个问题啊，呵呵，一起改进吧。

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