[i习作temp] issue41 [go to reach excellence] 第六次作业 [复制链接]

zyczuccgre
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2008-2-1 17:58:22 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ISSUE41 - "Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science."
WORDS:509 TIME: 02:00:00 DATE: 2008-2-1 16:46:36

The speaker asserts that non-mainstream areas play a vital role in society because they satisfy human needs. I agree that astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits address certain basic needs. However, it does not take into account the significant negative effects of non-mainstream, which may far outweigh their psychological benefits.

One reason for my fundamental agreement with the speaker is that people could gain peace and secure sense from these non-mainstream areas. As the rapid pace of the science and technology, competition now is much heavy and brutal than ever before. No matter what jobs the people take, they will suffer from stress from all directions. Take a company's leader for example, he has to make the right decisions in infinite choices, compete with his opponent and bring profits for a firm's shareholders or other owners. He has to face with stress everyday. He may find comfort in astrology books because some pieces of advice seem reasonable and feasible in the reality or even bring an inspiration about the business strategy for his company. These frustrations cannot easily be relieved by mainstream science, for they are usually rigid and even cold. In short, the non-mainstream areas could bring comfort for people when they are depressed by frustration imposed by the reality.

Another reason why I essentially agree with the speaker is that non-mainstream areas could respond to the people's curiosity about the future and unknown world. For instance, just have a glance at the weekly or monthly horoscope on newspapers and magazines, you could easy get the information about the constellation's fortune in the week or month to come. You even calculate your fate for the entire life. In the vague predictions of their destiny, people satisfy their curiosity in the future uncertainties; therefore they might be more confident and less anxiety about their future and work more effective.

Having recognized the benefits of the non-mainstream areas bring for the human, however, paying too much to them also have harmful effects, which we cannot neglect, to out society. When we pay too much attention on non-mainstream areas, it is entirely to trap in superstition which is not only harmful for individual, but also damage the society’s stability and harmony. For example, the Falungong organization in China is one king of heresies. When the believers of it fall ill, they do not go to hospital and take medicine, but believe that they will be cured by doing their Falun exercises. In order to enter their so-called paradise, they even commit suicide. So far, this organization has mined many families and taken the lives of many of its believers. Indisputably, paying too much attention to the non-mainstream areas would bring deleterious effects to the society.

In sum, I concede that non-mainstream areas satisfy certain basic needs for human. Nonetheless, to some extent, the speaker’s claim overstates the importance of these non-mainstream areas. In final analysis, in my view, the best approach to the problem is that we should better pay proper attention to the non-mainstreams, both the positive and negative ones.

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jessicakingking
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沙发

发表于 2008-2-2 21:34:41 |只看该作者

The speaker asserts that non-mainstream areas play a vital role in society because they satisfy human needs. I agree that astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits address certain basic needs. However, it does not take into account the significant negative effects of non-mainstream, which may far outweigh their psychological benefits.

One reason for my fundamental agreement with the speaker is that people could gain peaceful and secure sense from these non-mainstream areas. As the rapid pace of the science and technology, competition now is much heavy and brutal than ever before. No matter what jobs the people take, they will suffer from stress from all directions. Take a company's leader for example, he has to make the right decisions in infinite choices, compete with his opponent and bring profits for a his firm's shareholders or other owners. He has to face with stress everyday. He may find comfort in astrology books because some pieces of advice seem reasonable and feasible in the reality or even bring an inspiration about the business strategy for his company. These frustrations cannot easily be relieved by mainstream science, for they are usually rigid and even cold. 感觉这个例子有些话牵强而且绝对的语句也比较多has to，will，可以再改进一下，多用笔墨写非主流领域怎么样缓解人的压力的 In short, the non-mainstream areas could bring comfort for people when they are depressed by frustration imposed by the reality.

Another reason why I essentially agree with the speaker is that non-mainstream areas could respond to the people's curiosity about the future and unknown world. For instance, just have a glance at the weekly or monthly horoscope on newspapers and magazines, you could easy easily get the information about the constellation's fortune in the coming month week or month to come 一句话两个谓语噢have和could have. You even calculate your fate for the entire life. In the vague predictions of their destiny, people satisfy their curiosity in the future uncertainties; therefore they might be more confident and less anxiety about their future and work more effective more effective去掉吧.

Having recognized 如果要这样用，人应该在这句话中作主语 the benefits of the non-mainstream areas bring for the human, however, paying too much to them also have has harmful effects, which we cannot neglect to out society. When we pay too much attention on non-mainstream areas, it is entirely possible to trap in superstition, which is not only harmful for individual, but also damage the society’s stability and harmony. For example, the Falungong organization in China is one king of heresies. When the believers of it fall ill, they do not go to hospital and take medicine, but believe that they will be cured by doing their Falun exercises. In order to enter their so-called paradise, they even commit suicide. So far, this organization has mined mined这里是什么意思阿，请指教 many families and taken many lives of its believers就行了吧 the lives of many of its believers. Indisputably, paying too much attention to the non-mainstream areas would bring deleterious effects to the society. 好巧啊，我们用的例子一样呢

In sum, I concede that non-mainstream areas satisfy certain basic needs for human. Nonetheless, to some extent, the speaker’s claim overstates the importance of these non-mainstream areas. In final analysis, in my view, In final analysis和 in my view要一个就行把 the best approach to +face the problem is that we should better去掉，换成to更简洁些呵 pay proper attention to the non-mainstreams, both the positive and negative ones.

文章布局合理，单词语法没有大问题，楼主再注意一下论据语言的组织就好啦。
一家之言，仅供参考，如有不妥，请多包含，加油！

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