[i习作temp] issue158 艺术教育重要性 求拍 谢谢！ [复制链接]

TOPIC: ISSUE158 - "The arts (music, dance, visual arts, etc.) are vitally important to students' education and should therefore receive as much emphasis as mathematics, science, reading and other mainstream subjects."Education, regarded as a complex and controversial issue whether in the past or nowadays, is still seeking to establish a truly effective way. (两句话之间缺少必要的衔接过渡)I agree that the instruction in the field of the arts, as the speaker contends, plays a role which is as essential as the other mainstream subjects do in the education. As the education aims at cultivating students into a group（有些别扭） of informed individuals, learning the可以去掉冠词 knowledge in terms of mathematics, science, reading and other mainstream subjects becomes a necessity. The process of studying mathematics and science, for instance, can stimulate换成helps students to form换成cultivate the ability of deducing as well as independent thinking, which are basic qualities for analyzing various things and dealing with problems. Meanwhile, the skill of reading serves to assist students to be equipped with capacity of absorbing information, and when it marries abilities that provided by learning other subjects, students study more efficiently and are more likely to be the full-developed individuals in the academic area. 感觉本段论证过于平淡，可以考虑从反面切入。Nevertheless, we could by no means to多余 omit the imparting of the arts. Although the society's progress, admittedly, is largely based on the thriving of scientific knowledge, the most fundamental condition最基本条件？太中文了吧，干脆用essence for we human beings standing out from the savage animals is the humanity.  Since the arts serve to lift the human spirit没这个说法吧可以考虑inspire and to put us in more touch with our feelings, foibles and fate--in short, our own humanity, how could we neglect the importance of the arts when teaching the students, who will be去掉会更好 pillar of out society in the future？Beethoven's musical works are the last word of human's perseverance, also, Picasso's gentle dove awaked the love of peace which stays deeply inside the soul of people. Moreover, with a heightened sensitivity of human condition, we become more others-oriented换成considerate, less self-centered and more giving of ourselves换成devoted. Therefore, thanks to the arts that删去 our society embraces the real civilization instead of being a barbarous tribe.例子缺乏展开，导致结论的得出缺乏证明，而且例子的使用感觉和上下文缺乏必要的过渡联系，像是生拉硬套的In order to benefit the society as much as possible, as far as I am concerned, the combination of the arts and other mainstream subjects is considered as the best way of education. If the education of mainstream subjects, such as science and reading, serves to raise students’ intellectual level, then the instilling of the arts is requested for spiritual growing换成growth, and only people who have a balanced换成comprehensive development in the respect of intellect and spirit would meet the demand of society. For example, a political leader, even if being responsible and righteous, without the basic skills of extracting the core information from materials and ability of analysis, which learning of science and other academic terms could offer, he/she would fail to make distinct contribution for his/her people. On the other hand, if the leader proficient in handling the information he/she collects, but lacks the enthusiasm to his/her career and the determination of devoting for people’s better life, he/she is not likely to be an admirable and successful leader.In sum, from what we discussed above, we can easily draw the conclusion that the instruction of the arts weighs equally as the other subjects in the education. Only when students are taught with all terms mentioned above can they become individuals that satisfy the society as a whole.