[a习作temp] Argument147 [AERO_ASSIGN12][GOLDENSTRIKE] [复制链接]

GoldenStrike
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电梯直达

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发表于 2008-2-8 22:50:46 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."

Argument Answer:

The argument presented above asserted that sales of Whirlwind video games would increase in following few months. To support this, the author mentioned a survey in which respondents report that lifelike graphics is preferred in video game. Since Whirlwind has introduced some games with this feature and extensive advertising campaign is performed, the author stated the conclusion on the increase of sales with confidence. However, closer inspection reveals some significant flaws in such a statement.

The first unconvicing point lies in the survey performed. The author didn't metion how much video game players they did ask. To find enough respondent of video game player is not a easy task, and it is quite possible that only one or two hundreds of players has been asked, which is not sufficient to conclude any general results about the view toward video game from players. Even if the author has enough evidence to support this survey result, it still worth consideration about whether lifelike graphic is really desired in current game. As presented above, video games with lifelike graphics usually need most up-to-date computers, which could not be the possession of the majority of video game players. Such a hardware-consuming game would certain face market difficulty when it is released. Although maybe attracted by the beautiful, lifelike picture on the game cover, the customer would immediately return the game to shelf once they found their computer is not capable at all to run this game. Thus, whether the survey is reliable or not, lifelike grahpic should not become main feature of Whirlwind's games.

The editorial continues with the assumption that since extensive advertisement has been delivered, the sale of the video games should arise. Although it is a common practise that put up a lot of advertisement for new product, it is entirely possible that too much ads. would get people boring on the new game. Without considering a proper degree of investment into advertising, a simple emphsize on "extensive" ads. is very likely to casue the negative effect. Also, although some older adolescent would have some income through part-time working, there's still a large fraction of youth between 10 and 25 who would be financially depedent on their parents. If Whirlwind want to ensure their sales, they obviously should take the parents' taste into account.

In sum, the conclusion about the Whirlwind's sale of video game would be definitly increase in next several months seems to be a hasty assert. Without more carefully consideration on the reasons of why sale of Whirlwind's video games dropped in past two years, a simple survey result and some large quantity of advertisement could not protect the company from further declining of video-game sales.

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liruixinsnake
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沙发

发表于 2008-2-13 16:48:52 |只看该作者

The argument presented above asserted that sales of Whirlwind video games would increase in following few months. To support this, the author mentioned a survey in which respondents report that lifelike graphics is preferred in video game. Since Whirlwind has introduced some games with this feature and extensive advertising campaign is performed, the author stated the conclusion on the increase of sales with confidence. However, closer inspection reveals some significant flaws in such a statement.

The first unconvicing point lies in the survey performed. The author didn't metionhow much video game players they did ask. To find enough respondent of video game player is not a easy task, and it is quite possible that only one or two hundreds of players has been asked, which is not sufficient to conclude any general results about the view toward video game from players. Even if the author has enough evidence to support this survey result, it still worth to consideration(worth to considerate) about whether lifelike graphic is really desired in current game. As presented above, video games with lifelike graphics usually need most up-to-date computers, which could not be the possession of the majority of video game players. Such a hardware-consuming game would certain face market difficulty when it is released. Although maybe attracted by the beautiful, lifelike picture on the game cover, the customer would immediately return the game to shelf once they found their computer is not capable at all to run this game. Thus, whether the survey is reliable or not, lifelike grahpic should not become main feature of Whirlwind's games.
(这一段最好分开写，因为陈述了两个argument中存在的问题)

The editorial continues with the assumption that since extensive advertisement has been delivered, the sale of the video games should arise. Although it is a common practise that put up a lot of advertisement for new product, it is entirely possible that too much ads. would get people boring on the new game. Without considering a proper degree of investment into advertising, a simple emphsize on "extensive" ads. is very likely(下次可以用entirely possible) to casue the negative effect. Also(What’s more), although some older adolescent would have some income through part-time working, there's still a large fraction of youth between 10 and 25 who would be financially depedent on their parents. If Whirlwind want to ensure their sales, they obviously should take the parents' taste into account.

In sum, the conclusion about the Whirlwind's sale of video game would be definitly increase in next several months seems to be a hasty assert. Without more carefully consideration on the reasons of why sale of Whirlwind's video games dropped in past two years, a simple survey result and some large quantity of advertisement could not protect the company from further declining of video-game sales.

全文逻辑很清晰，用词也比较合适，不存在明显的问题，
个别句子需要斟酌改善
打字精确度须待进一步提高

[ 本帖最后由 liruixinsnake 于 2008-2-13 16:54 编辑 ]

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