[a习作temp] 【凤于九天作文小组第7次作业】Argument193 by大炮 [复制链接]

无尘小钢炮
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电梯直达

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发表于 2008-7-29 11:33:23 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ARGUMENT193 - The Department of Education in the state of Attra recommends that high school students be assigned homework every day. Yet a recent statewide survey of high school math and science teachers calls the usefulness of daily homework into question. In the district of Sanlee, 86 percent of the teachers reported assigning homework three to five times a week, whereas in the district of Marlee, less than 25 percent of the teachers reported assigning homework three to five times a week. Yet the students in Marlee earn better grades overall and are less likely to be required to repeat a year of school than are the students in Sanlee. Therefore, all teachers in our high schools should assign homework no more than twice a week, if at all.
WORDS: 360       TIME: 00:30:00       DATE: 2008-7-28 18:51:12
错误提纲列表：
1、  第一个statewide survey有问题，缺乏代表性同时只是数学和自然科学老师的建议
2、  两校对比及其结果有问题，第2个学校具体作业不清楚，同时两个学校学生基础不知道
3、  建议有问题，我们自己学校的情况不知道，不能随便决策。

The author recommends that our high school should assign home work more that twice a week.  His recommendation is based on the assumption that assigning homework three to five times a week does not do a better work for the students from a survey of two schools. However, this argument is flawed with critical respects.

To begin with, the mere fact that the high school math and science teachers calls the usefulness of daily homework into question does not necessarily support his conclusion that homework is less useful for the high school, for this question is made by the math and science teachers, which may not be the case for all subjects, lacking the general respect of the teachers, the conclusion is unreliable. Moreover, the author fails to provide how this survey is conducted and the sample of the survey, making the argument unconvincing.

In the second place, the author unnecessarily attributes the higher in grades of Marsee(M)'s students to their less homework, however, he just takes the mention that less than 25 percent of teachers in M assigning homework three to five times a week, it is entirely possible that most of teachers assign more than six homework with weekends working, which can draw the opposite conclusion. Moreover, he fails to take into consideration possible difference between two schools, if the average student in M is better than students in S, the homework is the inferior factors which lead the conclusion unreliable.

Even in general, students have much homework can perform better, it is unjustifiable for the author the recommends that our school should assign work more than twice a week, because he fails to provide substantial evidence to prove our students suit for the general trends of the average, it is equally possible that our students is low in IQ and have to do more homework while less homework may cause them to left behind. Lacking such evidence, I can not accept the recommendation.

In sum, this argument is not persuasive. To support it, the author should provide concrete information that teachers in M assign less homework. I would also need to know more information about our school.

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lintyhuang
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沙发

发表于 2008-7-30 14:40:05 |只看该作者

The author recommends that our high school should assign home work (no) more that twice a week. His recommendation is based on the assumption that assigning homework three to five times a week does not do a better work for the students from a survey of two schools. However, this argument is flawed with critical respects.

To begin with, the mere fact that the high school math and science teachers calls the usefulness of daily homework into question does not necessarily support his conclusion that homework is less useful for the high school, for this question is made by the math and science teachers, which may not be the case for all (other) subjects, lacking the general respect of the teachers, the conclusion is unreliable. Moreover, the author fails to provide how this survey is conducted and the sample of the survey, making the argument unconvincing.

In the second place, the author unnecessarily attributes the higher in grades of Marlee(M)'s students to their less homework, however, he just takes the mention that less than 25 percent of teachers in M assigning homework three to five times a week, it is entirely possible that most of teachers assign more than six homework with weekends working, which can draw the opposite conclusion. Moreover, he fails to take into consideration possible difference between two schools, if the average student in M is better than students in S, the homework is the inferior factors which lead the conclusion unreliable.

Even in general, students have much homework can perform better, it is unjustifiable for the author the recommends that our school should assign work more than twice a week, because he fails to provide substantial evidence to prove our students suit for the general trends of the average, it is equally possible that our students is low in IQ and have to do more homework while less homework may cause them to (be) left behind. Lacking such evidence, I can not accept the recommendation.(这一段又是典型的长句。一个句子就是一段，意思也不清楚，前后似乎有矛盾。)

In sum, this argument is not persuasive. To support it, the author should provide concrete information that teachers in M assign less homework. I would also need to know more information about our school.

文章结构没有问题，但是论据表达还不充分，特别是第三条，看不明白。

[ 本帖最后由 lintyhuang 于 2008-7-30 14:41 编辑 ]

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