[a习作temp] 三个小时，奶奶的~~Argument 第一次尝试。 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-3-19 14:18:32 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ARGUMENT147 - The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."

本人开始：

This editorial concludes that Whirlwind(W) video games' two-year declining trend will be reversed. To strengthen this conclusion, the author cites a recent survey in which video-game players indicate a preference for games providing lifelike graphics. The author then points out that W has just introduced such games, in addition, W made an extensive advertising campaign directed at the age-group of 10 to 25 who most likely to play video games. At first glance, the argument might be somehow reasonable, however, close scrutiny reveals it contains several unconvincing assumptions and therefore unpersuasive.

Firstly, the author fails to assure me that the survey results accurately reflect the preference of most video-game players. Perhaps the number of respondents is low,or respondents concludes a significant percentage of people who are not among the age-group of 10 to 25. For that matter, how can the author conclude that the sales of Whirlwind eideo games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.

Secondly, even assume the survey is convincing. The argument willy-nilly assumes that an extensive advertisement campaign can have a big effect, and video-game players would like to buy them. Perhaps the advertising was so nasty that it did not attract the players's attention. Or perhaps the game video is so expensive that the players can not afford to buy them. Also the influence of the competitive companies can not be neglected, maybe they have introduced similar games and have lower prices. Without ruling out this possibilites, the author can not convincing me that the sales of Whirlwind video games can increase dramatically.

Finally, the author untenable suppose the sales of Whirlwind's other video games remain the same or change a little. While there is no such evidence to explain it, perhaps the sales of other video games drops rapidly since it begins to sell these new games, the speed of dropping is much faster than the increaing, and it goes out the sales's declining trend remain the same or even worse. I also wander the real reason of M's declining trend, maybe it is due to poor management or wrong distribution strategies. For these matter, how can the author so hastly conclude the sales of M's video games will increase.

In sum, the arrgument is unasumming as it stands. To strengthen the arrgument the author must provide clear evidence that the advertisements have a good effect and goad the video players to buy these videos. To better assess it, I would need to know more,such as the sales of Whirlwind's other video games and what is the reason of W's two-year decling trend.

大家看看，帮忙改改，
小妹不胜感激。
无语了，怎么会要这么久。三个小时哦。一早上就这么一篇。。。本以为Argument会比较简单哎。。