[作文] Marshall~~Daily Writting~~!!! [复制链接]

I strongly agree with the statement that to enjoy a successful future one must modestly accept outside criticism. Marvelous as it looks at first sight, too much believe in yourself may not get things done well; or it could work towards the opposite direction which led to the situation that your partner stop cooperation because of your stubborn mind.

First of all, outside criticism will good for our self-development. Although some times, criticism seems to be very hard to be accepted because these are contradicted with your beliefs, they are still beneficial to you. Have you ever though that since you always think that your idea is right, why there are still some critic sound around you? If you can calm down and consider the situation more objectively, you may find that it is you who make a mistake. If you realize this and take action to correct these drawbacks, then you will become more perfect. Also by sincerely adopt others’ criticism; the criticism may seem to gradually become a more gentle suggestion.

In addition, not accepting others’ criticism will always make jobs more difficult to be finished. No one is perfect, and we all probably make any kind of mistake. So it is very important to sincerely accept others’ criticism, especially in a team work. One thing we feel about when we are doing a project assigned by teacher is that if the group leader insist on his own idea that he think is perfect and refuse to learn other group members’ suggestions, he will do things in his own style while the others may feel reluctant to continue the their mission. Because they do not reach an agreement, when some mistakes happen, the group members may accuse the fault to each other, which will make the process pause. Then if the leader cannot solve the problem, he has to ask other members for help, and may totally revise the whole project, which leads to an inefficient work. In this case, insisting on one’s own idea without considering others’ advices plays a negative role in a team work project.

Furthermore, without honest altitude to others’ criticism, you may lose others’ trust. Although not every denouncement is right, you should at least let others know you have considered their opinion. Otherwise, they may think that you do not respect them at all. An illustrating example is that a company receive a complain letter from a customer about the service. This customer is very anger with the bad service altitude so the manager is supposed to immediately reply a letter to that customer and finds out the problem. Otherwise, the company will not only lose that customer, but also its image and trust in people’s heart.

To summarize, without a modest heart to accept others’ criticism, one will lose the basic ingredients to be successful. Admittedly, criticism is not always right and sometimes they may affect your judgment. However, as long as you can extract gist in the opposing words, they will be sure to promote to your all-round development and the work which you are undertaking.

I strongly agree with the statement that to enjoy a successful future one must modestly accept outside criticism. Marvelous as it looks at first sight, too much believe in yourself may not get things done well; or it could work towards the opposite direction which led to the situation that your partner stop cooperation（may stop cooperating/stop to cooprate） because of your stubborn mind.

First of all, outside criticism will good for our self-development(of great important for..). Although some times, criticism seems to be very hard to be accepted because these(上文提到过的用those) are contradicted with(to) your beliefs, they(. But they前句已经是完整一句了) are still beneficial to you. Have you ever though that since看不懂·· you always think that your idea is right, why there are still some critics sound around you? If you can calm down and consider(handle) the situation more objectively, you may find that it is you who make a mistake. If you realize this and take action to correct these drawbacks, then you will become more perfect. Also by sincerely adoptting others’ criticism; the criticism may seem to gradually become a more gentle suggestion.

In addition, not accepting others’ criticism will always make jobs more difficult to be finished. No one is perfect, and we all probably make any kind of mistake. So it is very important to sincerely accept others’ criticism, especially in a team work. One thing we feel about when we are doing a project assigned by teacher is that if the group leader insist on his own idea that he think is perfect and refuse to learn other group members’ suggestions(这一句的主旨是we fell,可是写着写着你把fell丢了), he will do things in his own style while the others may feel reluctant to continue the their mission. Because they do not reach an agreement, when some mistakes happen(When there appears some mistkes ), the group members may accuse the fault to each other, which will make the process puse(which will puse the process). Then if the leader cannot solve the problem, he has to ask other members for help, and may totally revise the whole project, which leads to an inefficient work. In this case, insisting on one’s own idea without considering others’ advices plays a negative role in a team work project.

Furthermore, without honest altitude to others’ criticism, you may lose others’ trust. Although not every denouncement is right, you should at least let others know you have considered their opinion. Otherwise, they may think that you do not respect them at all. An illustrating example is that a company receive a complain letter from a customer about the service. This customer is very anger with the bad service altitude(attitude) so the manager is supposed to immediately reply a letter to that customer and finds out the problem. Otherwise, the company will not only lose that customer, but also its image and trust in people’s heart(but also dwarf their own image and trustness).

To summarize, without a modest heart to accept others’ criticism, one will lose the basic ingredients to be(for) successful. Admittedly, criticism is not always right and sometimes they may affect your judgment. However, as long as you can extract gist in the opposing words, they will be sure to promote to your all-round development and the work which you are undertaking.

你好我觉得有一个问题就是你喜欢把句子写的很长，但是长并不意味着熟练运用了语法和结构，OG评分规则有一条就是efficiency,而你的长句子完全是可以很简洁有效表达出来的，不然读起来很费力。比如那句红色的，特别长，但是结构有些混乱。One feeling often occurs on us that we usually fell reluctant to move on when the grounpleader neglect the opinions or advices  of ours and insists on his own style.

不知道你写作的时候有没有觉得很多句子不知道是对的还是错的，因为看得出来你没有抄模板，现写的，但是写起来是按照中国思维。建议多背诵一些句型。而且能自己写这么多句子肯定很认真，加油！！拙见，望海涵···

I strongly agree with the statement that to enjoy a successful future one must modestly accept outside criticism. Marvelous as it looks at first sight, too much believe in yourself may not get things done well; or it could work towards the opposite direction which led to the situation that your partner stop cooperation because of your stubborn mind.

First of all, outside criticism will good for our self-development. Although some times, criticism seems to be very hard to be accepted because these are contradicted with your beliefs, they are still beneficial to you. Have you ever though that since you always think that your idea is right, why there are still some critic（我查到的这个词的意思只有批评家，评论家） sound around you? If you can calm down and consider the situation more objectively, you may find that it is you who make a mistake. If you realize this and take action to correct these drawbacks, then you will become more perfect. Also by sincerely adopt others’ criticism; the criticism may seem to gradually become a more gentle suggestion.

In addition, not accepting others’ criticism will always make jobs more difficult to be finished. No one is perfect, and we all probably make any kind of mistake. So it is very important to sincerely accept others’ criticism, especially in a team work. One thing we feel about when we are doing a project assigned by teacher is that if the group leader insist on his own idea that he think is perfect and refuse to learn other group members’ suggestions, he will do things in his own style while the others may feel reluctant to continue the their mission. Because they do not reach an agreement, when some mistakes happen, the group members may accuse the fault to each other, which will make the process pause. Then if the leader cannot solve the problem, he has to ask other members for help, and may totally revise the whole project, which leads to an inefficient work. In this case, insisting on one’s own idea without considering others’ advices plays a negative role in a team work project.

Furthermore, without honest altitude to others’ criticism, you may lose others’ trust. Although not every denouncement is right, you should at least let others know you have considered their opinion. Otherwise, they may think that you do not respect them at all. An illustrating example is that a company receive（receives） a complain letter from a customer about the service. This customer is very anger with the bad service altitude (我觉得这边就过于罗嗦了，直接把前面的说成a complain letter from an anger customer with the bad service attitude，这样就合并好了啊)so the manager is supposed to immediately reply a letter to that customer and finds out the problem. Otherwise, the company will not only lose that customer, but also its image and trust in people’s heart. 我是觉得这个例子应该得用过去时态吧？

To summarize, without a modest heart to accept others’ criticism, one will lose the basic ingredients to be successful. Admittedly, criticism is not always right and sometimes they may affect your judgment. However, as long as you can extract gist in the opposing words, they will be sure to promote to your all-round development and the work which you are undertaking. 结尾很赞

我觉得你的语言很棒 LZ功底应该很好吧

蓝颜色的是我觉得模板太明显的地方

整体的辩证思路很紧扣主题 向你学习了^ ^

另外个人不建议用第二人称 句子真的有点罗嗦 过长 长短能结合的话最好了

哪里有该错的话请见谅~

1月6日100828NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The main purpose for people who have jobs is for money rather than9 N4 L1 ~6 y! J8 t2 T( o" t
social status.4 ^. U* {& ^5 L

No matter whether or not you are hunting for jobs or already working in companies, you may have ever asked yourself: why do I want to work?. The detailed answer for this question depends from person to person. However, in my opinion, the ultimate motivation for most people to get a job is money.这不应该断句吧？～连着写就好 As illustrated in the following passage.* A1 v7 f6 N5 C" {/ D& F

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First of all, the society is crucial, especially for those poor people（其实poor这个词贬义有点重。。living in poverty）. Without money, people cannot stand up in the society, but live in a tough condition. That's why when people hunt（s去掉 主谓一致要注意） for a job, money is an extremely important factor that decides whether they will accept the offer or not. Even for people who already have a job, they have to work hard and compete with others in order to get more bonus. When the income of a particular position reduces, the employees there usually will choose another job. For example, few years ago, one university in Hong Kong was bankrupted and it had to decrease the average salary. Since that time, （there have been ）（这句可以不用there be 句型 会更有力）a lot of excellent teachers （who）have changed their profession （in） to other universities or companies.' g9 J* |- c& ?% E2 |（）
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In addition, （in）due to the pressure of the society, people nowadays become more and more utilitarian. One very common example is that when people compare their jobs, the very first thing they will concern is the amount of income, instead of the working conditions or social status. This kind of comparison or competition will in turn stimulate people's eagerness to get more money, and finally lead to money worship. So that is why money plays a more important role than social status in jobs.( 这段可以把压力有哪些点出来 就更具体了)
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Admittedly, many people also long for a high social status. A high social status will certainly make people respectable, and their words convincing. This factor may attract people to some particular jobs such as doctor, professor and researcher. However, a high social status is （build）built on the economy bases, and most of the job with a high social status usually has a promising incomes. ) P+ H& o* ^7 f2 G; E+ y



To summarize, most people who have a job is mainly motivated by money, instead of social status. Although a high social status can increase one's virtual influence, people usually put the money into the first position whenever considering their （workings）works. This situation is mainly due to two reasons: social pressure and money worship, as discussed in the previous passage.

LZ论证的很严密 就是展开的有点不够的感觉 不过限时也很难兼顾了
语言很流畅 用词丰富 long utilitarian之类都很准很赞， 就是要注意下主谓一致和介词的使用有时会有小错误
祝考出好成绩