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老兄,我说几句,关于你104的。1:你开头指出了formal education could not be regarded as the only way of 。。。。。。。所以,你下一段开头应该明确指出家教是一种necessary and even indispensable 的way,然后再论证其与a culture tries to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears." 的关系。2节最后的placed不如用 adhered更纯正。2:If a society was able to control people's thoughts merely through formal education, then those ideas deprecated by this society could not be well known by its citizens. However , it is not the case. By means of books and media, like newspaper, television, Internet, etc, we Chinese know the democracy, freedom and human rights advocated by western people, while westerners hear of Chinese Confucianism and communism. No matter how a culture wants to preserve its purity and independence, the communication between cultures could not be prohibited, especially in modern society, where high-speed electronic media contribute a lot to transmission of thoughts.这节与本文论点无关啊(或不紧密)。题目还是应限于方法与culture作用的关系。我教保守,还是觉的
Furthermore, too much attention paid to formal education, at cost of ignoring other influential factors, only lead to opposite result. As the teen-agers taking formal education are in rebelling against one, the notion against what the school requires and what the teacher says seems more attractive to them, because this unconformity makes them feel unique and cool. Such blind rejection to ideas formal education offers, especially those beneficial and correct values and opinions, sometimes misleads the adolescent to commit large mistakes, even crimes, and may impact people all their lives. Another defect of formal education is that its instructive function is often limited by dull and boring
sermon, which fails to attract the young, not to mention convinces them. On the contrary, since teen-agers are always ensitive to environment around them and curious about novelties of daily life, these factors can exert a subtle influence rather than formal schooling. As this is the case, informal education results from the constant effect of environment, the strength of which in shaping values and habits cannot be underestimated.这节应放在首,再谈什么法子被忽视了。再谈此法重要性。 |
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