题目32Until recently, people in Hiparia did most of their shopping by driving to shopping malls. They are beginning, however, to do more of their shopping by ordering merchandise from mail-order catalogs and the Internet. These purchases are delivered to them by mail or by a delivery service. For many purchases, Hiparians no longer need to drive to and from shopping malls; there will therefore be a resulting reduction in the consumption of vehicle fuel in Hiparia.
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习作 字数:385 时间不限
The judgement offered in the argument is Hiparians no longer need to drive to and from shopping malls and there will be reduction in the consumption of vehicle fuel in Hiparia. Because they begin to do more shopping by ordering merchandise from mail-order catalogs and Internet, and these purchases are delivered to them by mail or by a delivery service.
Firstly, the thesis made by the arguer is not complete. He or she says the vehicle fuel will reduce, but the author did not offer sufficient evidence to prove it. Less shopping by driving to the shopping malls can not lead to the fuel reduction. After all many factors are not particularized, as at this time people still need to drive to do something else, like going to work, traveling and so on. Still the arguer overlooks a important precondition that the fuel for mail or delivery service is likely to move up,since the more clients are served the longer distance instead.
Secondly, the author made an arbitrary decision. It is impossible that Hiparians no longer need to drive to and from shopping malls. Enough evidences are not displayed that the consumer can buy all materials on living by mail-order and the Internet. The author does not supply essential information that the quantities of the purchases are so good that the consumer need not come back to change or mend them. And that some goods offer the After Service which may make the buyer drive to the company, when the location is not nearby.
Thirdly, the proof of argument is not abundant. The beginning to do more shopping by mail-order and the Internet does not mean continue to do in the future. Maybe the consumers only try something fresh. Furthermore no datum reveals this kind of services can satisfy the customer, if it is not mature, it will not stay a long time.
To sum up, the author's conclusion is lack of persuasion. The author does not consider completely that with the rising of mail and delivery services the consumption of vehicle fuel will also move up. So in order to strengthen the persuasion, the author should provide more data to support the rising of shopping by mail-order and the Internet, and whether people do more shopping by mail or the Internet than ever before.
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望不吝赐教,3x:handshake
:)
[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-9-10 at 23:02 ]