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gaojiehaha
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2006-1-2 22:41:02 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Issue7: The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records.
提纲：（赞同＋让步）
1、摄像机方便
2、摄像机让人身临其境
3、摄像机客观，让人信服
4、有一些方面还是用笔录比较好
正文：(507)
With the flying development of the high technology, a new kind of recording tools has been invented. Its invention is a great impact to an old form of recording--written. And it causes a dispute about which kind of recording form is better. In my opinion, the video camera is fine in most sides.

The video camera provides convenience to contemporary's daily life. For example, when people go out for traveling, it is easy for them to carry a video camera and use the video camera to record every wonderful view and scene people see without omit anything. And without tiring writing, everything is done by only pressing several keys. Once people want to review the places they had been before, they only need to press the play key. On the contrary, it is time consuming and tiring to bring a notebook to record dribs and drabs while traveling. Also it is more convenient to use video camera to record banquet, interview, etc.

The video camera is not only convenient in record things, but also it can let people feel personally on the scene for providing vivid dynamic pictures and music for people. Perhaps you have not been on the scene about a report, but when you watch a record noted by a video camera, the accurate and vivid picture will let you personally on the scene. Or perhaps you have gone to the place several years ago, you only have abstract impression about the place, you will have the feeling of yesterday once more when play the record by video camera. Admittedly, written records do not have such advantage.

The video camera is more objective and convincing in recording than written records in recording things. Written records are noted by people, and along with the different people with different opinion on one thing, the written records is different with personal sensation. It is hard to distinguish which is more dispassionate. To contrary, the video camera is more objective. Even though different people use it, it would not change the content and without any personal sensation. Due to the reason that the video camera has the function that record the thing accurate and objective, the content the video camera record is more convincing. Special for controversial historical affairs, such as political rebellion, the video camera is more objective and convincing for people to analyze the things.

Nonetheless, for certain aspects, written records are advantageous to and appropriate than video records. For example, a detailed contract is best left to a written document; Numbers in an account bill or an exact inquisitional table cannot described clearly by the video camera; And video is of little use when it comes to documenting a person's feeling, subjective state of mind of an event.

In sum, due to video camera's convenience in contemporary's daily life, its vivid dynamic images and impressive voices, its objective and convincing attitude on things, the video camera is considered a nicer documenting manner. However, it need written records supply some aspect that video record not well.

[ 本帖最后由 11yaoyao 于 2006-1-3 13:11 编辑 ]

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沙发

发表于 2006-1-2 23:23:37 |只看该作者

下午刚好看了这篇范文，就顺道进来帮你看看
正文：(507)
With the flying development of the high technology, a new kind of recording tools has been invented. Its invention is a great impact to an old form of recording--written. And it causes a dispute about which kind of recording form is better. In my opinion, the video camera is fine in most sides.

The video camera provides convenience to contemporary's daily life. For example, when people go out for traveling, it is easy for them to carry a video camera and use the video camera to record every wonderful view and scene people see without omit（omitting） anything. And without tiring writing, everything is done by only pressing several keys. Once people want to review the places they had been before, they only need to press the play key. On the contrary, it is time consuming and tiring to bring a notebook to record dribs and drabs while traveling. Also it is more convenient to use video camera to record banquet, interview, etc.（方便这个点想得很好）

The video camera is not only convenient in record things, but also it can let people (feel personally?) on the scene for providing vivid dynamic pictures and music for people. Perhaps you have not been on the scene about a report, but when you watch a record noted by a video camera, the accurate and vivid picture will（最好改用would,could之类） let you personally？ on the scene（在画面上吗？in the picture,on the screen）. Or perhaps you have gone to the place several years ago, you only have abstract impression about the place, you will have the feeling of yesterday once more when play the record by video camera. Admittedly?(这里肯定CAMERA怎么来了个让步？), written records do not have such advantage.（观点很好，但好像没表述清楚咯~~）
The video camera is more objective and convincing in recording than written records in recording things.（要分清是什么类型的things，在这儿应说明，大事件的情景，场景等文字所不能清楚还原的） Written records are noted by people, and along with the different people with different opinion on one thing, the written records is different with personal sensation. It is hard to distinguish which is more dispassionate. To contrary, the video camera is more objective. Even though different people use it, it would not change the content and without any personal sensation. Due to the reason that the video camera has the function that record the thing accurate and objective, the content the video camera record is more convincing. Special for controversial historical affairs, such as political rebellion, the video camera is more objective and convincing for people to analyze the things.

Nonetheless, for certain aspects, written records are advantageous to and appropriate than video records. For example, a detailed contract is best left to a written document; Numbers in an account bill or an exact inquisitional table cannot described clearly by the video camera; And video is of little use when it comes to documenting a person's feeling, subjective state of mind of an event.

In sum, due to video camera's convenience in contemporary's daily life, its vivid dynamic images and impressive voices, its objective and convincing attitude on things, the video camera is considered a nicer（有点口语） documenting manner. However, it need written records（to） supply some aspect that video record not well.(这句得好好改改咯)
总得看来，这篇文章立场明确，结构安排得也合理，但是表达上应多多磨练，不然好观点也不能说明白啊！！加油！！！！！
欢迎来拍拍我的啊，谢谢！
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板凳

发表于 2006-1-3 13:08:47 |只看该作者

不好意思，晚一点再来改哦~~

用心就不会错过...

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地板

发表于 2006-1-3 16:29:44 |只看该作者

With the flying development of the high technology, a new kind of recording tools [这里是不是直接用tool就可以了？] has been invented. Its invention is a great impact to an old form of recording--written. And it causes a dispute about which kind of recording form is better. [前面你都没有明确指出a new kind of recording tool是什么，这里是不是要指出一下？比如：The new recording tool is video camera.] In my opinion, the video camera is fine [这个题目是个“比较”的题目，你的观点是赞同的话，这里是不是用better更好一点？] in most sides.

The video camera provides convenience to contemporary's daily life. For example, when people go out for traveling, it is easy for them to carry a video camera and use the video camera to record every wonderful view and scene people [用they好一点吧？] see without omit [omitting] anything. And without tiring writing, everything is done by only pressing several keys [嗯… 这里，key不知道有没有表达camera上的按钮的意思？再查查词典确认一下吧]. Once people want to review the places they had been before, they only need to press the play key. On the contrary, it is time consuming and tiring to bring a notebook to record dribs and drabs while traveling. Also it is more convenient to use video camera to record banquet, interview, [这里是不是必须要加and？我不确定，我是一直加的] etc.

The video camera is not only convenient in record things, but also it can let people feel personally on the scene for providing vivid dynamic pictures and music for people. Perhaps you have not been on the scene about a report, but when you watch a record noted by a video camera, the accurate and vivid picture will let you personally on the scene. Or perhaps you have gone to the place several years ago, you only have abstract impression about the place, you will have the feeling of yesterday once more when play the record by video camera. Admittedly, written records do not have such advantage. [你这段的意思是想表达video可以满足人们的“上电视瘾”吧，嗯，和taotaoQ的意见一样，这段好像表达得不太清楚]

The video camera is more objective and convincing in recording [可以去掉，后半句已经有了] than written records in recording things. Written records are noted by people, and along with the different people with different opinion on one thing, the written records is [are] different with [加上different] personal sensation. It is hard to distinguish which is more dispassionate. To contrary, the video camera is more objective. Even though different people use it, it would not change the content and without any personal sensation [后半句不通，改成这样行不行： the content would not be changed and would be without any personal sensation. 嗯…我也改不太好，你再想想]. Due to the reason that the video camera has the function that record the thing accurate and objective, the content the video camera record [records?] is more convincing. Special for controversial historical affairs, such as political rebellion, the video camera is more objective and convincing for people to analyze the things.

Nonetheless, for certain aspects, written records are [加上more] advantageous to [去掉to] and appropriate than video records. For example, a detailed contract is best left to a written document; Numbers in an account bill or an exact inquisitional table cannot [加上be] described clearly by the video camera; And video is of little use when it comes to documenting [document?] a person's feeling, subjective state of mind of an event.

In sum, due to video camera's convenience in contemporary's daily life, its vivid dynamic images and impressive voices, its objective and convincing attitude on things, the video camera is considered a nicer documenting manner. However, it need written records supply some aspect that video record not well [嗯，这句确实要好好改改].

改完了，你再看看吧，有什么问题我们再讨论 :lol

用心就不会错过...

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点点滴滴走过
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5楼

发表于 2006-1-3 16:34:18 |只看该作者

好久没来了，先学习一下，找找状态

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6楼

发表于 2006-1-3 19:02:47 |只看该作者

原帖由 点点滴滴走过 于 2006-1-3 16:34 发表
好久没来了，先学习一下，找找状态

;)

色不迷人人自迷。
天佑中华！！Bless bless bless

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7楼

发表于 2006-1-4 09:52:44 |只看该作者

关于taotaoQ的修改：）

(feel personally?) on the scene

身临其境，be personally on the scene

Admittedly?(这里肯定CAMERA怎么来了个让步？), written records do not have such advantage.

我是想说显然，笔录没有这些优点。admittedly不能这样用吗？那用it is obviously that怎么样？

要分清是什么类型的things，在这儿应说明，大事件的情景，场景等文字所不能清楚还原的

是是是··分析的极是！

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gaojiehaha
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8楼

发表于 2006-1-4 10:07:10 |只看该作者

和amy讨论

前面你都没有明确指出a new kind of recording tool是什么，这里是不是要指出一下？比如：The new recording tool is video camera

amy的这个问题指出的很好！思维严谨！:victory:

这个题目是个“比较”的题目，你的观点是赞同的话，这里是不是用better更好一点？

nod,nod!amy是高手啊，指出的问题都很到位！油然而生佩服的feeling!

嗯… 这里，key不知道有没有表达camera上的按钮的意思？再查查词典确认一下吧

嘻嘻··是哦！查了一下字典，button－－按钮

你这段的意思是想表达video可以满足人们的“上电视瘾”吧，嗯，和taotaoQ的意见一样，这段好像表达得不太清楚

:L看来我是表达的不清楚。我是想说摄像机的画面生动形象，给人身临其境的感觉

it would not change the content and without any personal sensation [后半句不通，改成这样行不行： the content would not be changed and would be without any personal sensation. 嗯…我也改不太好，你再想想].

the content would be all the same without any personal sensation