Issue123 同主题写作,我的第一篇 [复制链接]

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电梯直达

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发表于 2006-2-27 23:49:26 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Issue123
"It is possible to identify a person's politics within a very short time of meeting him or her. Everything about people—their clothes, their friends, the way they talk, what they eat—reflects their political beliefs."

第一篇issue，518W, 2h
提纲：
同意
1，穿着，吃饭可以反映
2，朋友可以
3，说话方式可以
4，大多时候准确，但有些情况下不准确

In this age of rapid social and technological change, everyday, a large deal of information bursts into our brain. It is necessary and possible for us to distinguish a person by his/her clothes, friends, way of talking and eating. Thus I generally agree with the statement that everything about a person including what I have mentioned above can reflect his or her political belief.

In the first place, what one eats and wears can indicate the way of life he or she supports. In my country china, there are a large number of people coming from a race called "HUI" in Chinese who do not eat pork at all. They treat the behavior of eating pork as a kind of apostasy and punish the one who eats pork. Maybe in our eyes, it is hard to understand it, but this is the way of life they advocate. Arabian people, as we know, are another appropriate case in point. In Arabia, men always wear white aba, by contrast, women wear headcloth and black gauze. They believe that all the political power come from Allah, and every citizen has the right to participate in deciding national policy. This is the way of life they support.

It is also possible for us to distinguish a person with others by which kind of friends he or she makes with. People always tend to stay with others who have the same mind, do the same thing and even extremely have the same enemies. Usually people get together and share what they think and what they do with each other. And this is called coterie. You can simply identify a person by the group or coterie which he or she is in; just like an old saying "Every man is defined by his friends."

In addition, the way one talks can be another significant fact we rely on to reflect what he or she believes in. Faced with some political issues or economical matters, in most cases, people would like to state what they think about the issues or matters. The way they talk can give us an important clue to judge what they believe in. For instance, republicans, all the time, talk about things in their republic ways. They favor a republic as the best form of government. Another fitting example is Conservative Party, they advocate moderate progressivism. In their talks, there always are "we cannot...", "we should not...” It is so typical of them.

Of course, it is very fast and accurate in most times for us to identify a person only by something about him/her. However, there can be no denying that, in some other cases, we cannot make out a person only in that simple way. A spy will never show you what he or she really is. And there are some persons hiding them behind their hypocritical face for some unspeakable motives.

To sum up, from the analyses I have made above, it is safe to conclude that we can possibly identify a person by everything about him or her, like his/her clothes, friends, way of talking and eating.

[ 本帖最后由 yogurt4 于 2006-2-28 00:44 编辑 ]

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xfxfe
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沙发

发表于 2006-2-28 02:48:10 |只看该作者

感觉b1和b2谈的是way of life和个性上的distinguish a person with others啊
好像没有提到通过吃和朋友如何reflect这个人的political belief
我觉得是需要和political belief搭上点关系的
你觉得呢？

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板凳

发表于 2006-2-28 12:18:59 |只看该作者

In this age of rapid social and technological change, everyday, a large deal of information bursts into our brain. It is necessary and possible for us to distinguish a person by his/her clothes, friends, way of talking and eating. Thus I generally agree with the statement that everything about a person including what I have mentioned above can reflect his or her political belief.复述方式不错

In the first place, what one eats and wears can indicate the way of life he or she supports. In my country china, there are a large number of people coming from a race called "HUI" in Chinese who do not eat pork at all. They treat the behavior of eating pork as a kind of apostasy and punish the one who eats pork. Maybe in our eyes, it is hard to understand it, but this is the way of life they advocate. Arabian people, as we know, are another appropriate case in point. In Arabia, men always wear white aba, by contrast, women wear headcloth and black gauze. They believe that all the political power come from Allah, and every citizen has the right to participate in deciding national policy. This is the way of life they support. （confuse politicial belief with religion belief ）

It is also possible for us to distinguish a person with others by which kind of friends he or she makes with. People always tend to stay with others who have the same mind, do the same thing and even extremely have the same enemies. Usually people get together and share what they think and what they do with each other. And this is called coterie. You can simply identify a person by the group or coterie which he or she is in; just like an old saying "Every man is defined by his friends." 举个例子就更有说服力了

In addition, the way one talks can be another significant fact we rely on to reflect what he or she believes in. Faced with some political issues or economical matters, in most cases, people would like to state what they think about the issues or matters. The way they talk can give us an important clue to judge what they believe in. For instance, republicans, all the time, talk about things in their republic ways. They favor a republic as the best form of government. Another fitting example is Conservative Party, they advocate moderate progressivism. In their talks, there always are "we cannot...", "we should not...” It is so typical of them. 感觉应该在来一句 In short, by the custom a person speaks, we can judge his inclination of politics.

Of course, it is very fast and accurate in most times for us to identify a person only by something about him/her. However, there can be no denying that, in some other cases, we cannot make out a person only in that simple way. A spy will never show you what he or she really is. And there are some persons hiding them behind their hypocritical face for some unspeakable motives.

To sum up, from the analyses I have made above, it is safe to conclude that we can possibly identify a person by everything about him or her, like his/her clothes, friends, way of talking and eating.

In a very short time 没进行分析，不完整，有失严谨

my issue：https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1 帮拍

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小室黄瓜
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地板

发表于 2006-3-3 07:24:39 |只看该作者

第一篇issue，518W, 2h
提纲：
同意
1，穿着，吃饭可以反映
2，朋友可以
3，说话方式可以
4，大多时候准确，但有些情况下不准确

In this age of rapid social and technological change, everyday, a large deal of information bursts into our brain. （第一句话看起来和主题没什么关系啊，还有接下来的这句也没有关系）It is necessary and possible for us to distinguish a person by his/her clothes, friends, way of talking and eating. Thus I generally agree with the statement that everything about a person including what I have mentioned above can reflect his or her political belief.（既然你的论点是不完全的肯定，那么在主题句中还是说出来比较好，再加一个yet，或however这样的补充一下吧！）
In the first place, what one eats and wears can indicate the way of life he or she supports. In my country china, there are a large number of people coming from a race called "HUI" in Chinese who do not eat pork at all. They treat the behavior of eating pork as a kind of apostasy and punish the one who eats pork. Maybe in our eyes, it is hard to understand it（去掉it）, but this is the way of life they advocate. Arabian people, as we know, are another appropriate case in point. In Arabia, men always wear white aba, by contrast, women wear headcloth and black gauze. They believe that all the political power come from Allah, and every citizen has the right to participate in deciding national policy. This is the way of life they support.（嗯，这段两个例子都不错！）

It is also possible for us to distinguish a person with others by which kind of friends he or she makes with. People always tend to stay with others who have the same mind, do the same thing and even extremely have the same enemies. Usually people get together and share what they think and what they do with each other. And this is called coterie. You can simply identify a person by the group or coterie which he or she is in; just like an old saying "Every man is defined by his friends."（精炼，说理到位！就是语言要地道！）

In addition, the way one talks can be another significant fact we rely on to reflect what he or she believes in. Faced with some political issues or economical matters, in most cases, people would like to state what they think about the issues or matters. The way they talk can give us an important clue to judge what they believe in. For instance, republicans, all the time, talk about things in their republic ways. They favor a republic as the best form of government. Another fitting example is Conservative Party, they advocate moderate progressivism. In their talks, there always are "we cannot...", "we should not...” It is so typical of them.（例子很恰当，还不罗嗦，这段也不错！）

Of course, it is very fast and accurate（inaccurate） in most times for us to identify a person only by something about him/her. However,（不要在转折了吧，换成therefore吧？） there can be no denying that, in some other cases, we cannot make out a person only in that simple way. A spy will never show you what he or she really is. And there are some persons hiding them behind their hypocritical face for some unspeakable motives.

To sum up, from the analyses I have made above, it is safe （怎么又说到safe了呢？换个词，possible比较符合这篇文章）to conclude that we can possibly identify a person by everything about him or her, like his/her clothes, friends, way of talking and eating（总结的不全面，还是觉得应该吧倒数第2段的意思也加进去，要不然不严谨）
这篇文章比较精短，但是表达的意思很明白，分析得也非常好，这样简短而又能说理清晰的文章真的不错，不过感觉语言上还有问题，就是非常不地道，再加练习这方面就会更好了。第一篇就写成这样，很厉害了！！我和你思路非常不一样，也请你指教一下吧。
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

[ 本帖最后由小室黄瓜于 2006-3-3 07:27 编辑 ]