[i习作temp] issue43 [同主题] 第一次贴，大家帮忙看看 [复制链接]

kingo
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电梯直达

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发表于 2006-7-24 22:55:51 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ISSUE43 - "To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."
WORDS: 564 TIME: 00:80:00 DATE: 06-07-24
1. 如何定义”effective”
2. 不同人对“effective”的程度有不同理解
3. 真正的“effective”应注重实际的工作能力

As leaders of a nation, public officials usually are called for the highest ethical and moral standards, to accompany with their prestige come from the public. However, public officials are as good as us average people, and they also have their own shortcomings, although who may be effective in office.

The paramount thing that has to be discussed firstly lies on how we define the key word "effective". What is the standard for a effective leader? To most of us, a public official, who bears the obligation of organizing a community or program, intriguing the impetus of subordinates, committing the necessary responsibility of serious occurrences, is usually regarded as the core of the prosperity of a country. Therefore, to some extent, we regard them as the elite of the country for their distinguished faculty and intellect, and at the meanwhile, the model of our society. That is to say, an effective leader must cater to these norms of capability, fast-reaction, determination, leadership as well as kindness and rightness, this kind of quality.

But at the same time, different people may do not have the identical comment on what the exactly degree of "effective" should be. Undoubtedly, to some idealists, the public official must be more perfect than ordinary people, so much so that the most perfect. They should not only possess the perfect character, like dignity, loyalty, industrious and so on, but also maintain their perfect public appearance. Unnecessarily as this claim holds by every body, it is truly an increasing trend among public, especially the more open-door countries.

To be honest, an effective leader indeed should own the ascendance mentioned above, embracing the ethical and moral standards, but the most prominent implication of the word "effective" should base on the actual leadership much more than other aspects. Just as what is indirectly defined in the topic, a public official is primarily a leader, the chief duty of them is leading public, making important decision, and prudent contemplation. We often say that all people have their own limit, and perfection does only exist in the dream of us toward some other that we do not acquaint with. People have this kind of cognition just because there is little perfection in our routine life, and they are always willing to create some images in reality. These targets may be athletes, artists, and politicians. Yet standard like this seems too exaggerated to achieve and actually, it is completely no need to achieve it as an effective leader. Clinton, the ex-president of America, is not perfect, or even not ethical for his well-known affair, whereas some American still deem him as one of the most effective American presidents for his excellent achievement on the development of American economy in the 90s of last century. So when we evaluate a public official, the main concern should lie on the main dominant realm of that person.

All in all, public officials are people same as us, and have all kinds of emotion and feelings wholly same to us. The main purpose that we supervise them is making them serve for us and using our tax in the correct way. As for the ethical and moral standard, should be up to law of the given country and even, the concrete condition. Still at least, not a law regulates that public officials should accord with the highest ethical and moral standard.

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undoerlc
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沙发

发表于 2006-7-24 23:49:28 |只看该作者

谢谢你的comments, 我觉得你的TS可以论证的更充分一些, 如果你把头2段变一下, 其实ISSUE最关键是 "提出你自己的观点" 并 "证明你自己的观点", 并不是让你去分析题目的观点怎么样
在这里,你的观点是public officials are as good as us average people, and they also have their own shortcomings, although who may be effective in office. 其实这个观点可以描述得语言更好写
第一段,看不大出你的分段TS是什么, 而且论证上好象只是一个introduction paragraphy并不是一个论证段
第二段TS:different people may do not have the identical comment on what the exactly degree of "effective" should be 可是对这个TS并没有论证,内容说得还是很散, reader知道你想表达什么,可是你并没有有效的通过结构论证来展现给他们
第三段总算是重点了an effective leader indeed should own the ascendance mentioned above, embracing the ethical and moral standards, but the most prominent implication of the word "effective" should base on the actual leadership much more than other aspects.作为了TS,论证力度上要比前2段好多了

照你的TS意思实际是: 官员也有缺点,但是有缺点他门也可以做有效领导
我会采取的论证方式:
1.Public self有缺点的官员可以做有效领导----Nixon水门, 希特勒,从来就那么没有道德,但是做事情有校
2.Private self有缺点也可以----可林吨,私下和莱基, Jeffson也有私生子,但是有效领导
3.关键是他们.... ,才能称他们有效,更本和道德没关系
结构上组织先说2, 然后moreover说1, 最后in end, 这样结构可以做到密不可分

不过我的写法总得来说和你的不太一样, 可能没注意到, 其实我一直都在论述morality的
呵呵,本来我也从来没改过一篇文章,不过鉴于明天转移后天考试了, 随便写点自己想法吧

0610G#Google Talk:<undoerlc@gmail.com>#@SH_Life is of strenuous endeavour._The journey is rewarded.

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