[i习作temp] issue110 自由女神小组第九次作业 [复制链接]

seeseamail
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2007-2-7 23:17:58 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

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蔓草菊
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沙发

发表于 2007-2-9 23:19:01 |只看该作者

I heard a pupil have said that he would feel easy if he was born centuries ago in that key points on the history text would be less. The naive boy complains the boring subject history, although it is useful. Stories are favored by every child; by contrast, history shows its serious aspect and makes countless scholars devoting themselves into it. Story scene and historic details are therefore fundamentally different from each other.（每次都觉得你的开头很特别，很棒）

From the view of function, history and story distinguish each other. Stories, severing as tools for fun and sometimes improving intelligence, attract every child and underlie the colorful childhood. Storytellers therefore are always memorized by public. On the other hand, the basic function of history is to approach（这个次用在这里很贴切） the truth and thus guide and affect the way people think and do. In fact, researchers on（改成of会不会好些） history always show as educators while storytellers pretend to be funny finders（这个finders放在这里什么意思呢） and are good at creating myths.

As two different kinds of career, history and story research activities adopt diverse method（加s）. Green is prized because of his famous stories. None of the details there（there要去掉） are（改成is） true but Green's masterpieces instill general educational ideas such as beauty, truth and etc. This kind of education is conceived by thrilling details which are abstracted from the details of daily life. Famous historian always keeps mind in both contemporary daily life and historic remains. Historic remains help us to identify the real process long long ago and the conclusion, combined with the condition nowadays, teaches（应该改为原型） us to face the problem of today. The think of analogy makes the history theory run.

Admittedly, man cannot show history concisely without mistakes. We may be misleaded（改成misled） by some remains. Furthermore, sometimes, we have to use the creative talent in order to install all of small pieces into splendorous historic picture. On the other hand, history knowledge helps storytellers fulfill their stories. However, stories do not take the responsibility to keep pace with（这个词组不错） the fact, and even garble the fact intensively in order to cater to the interests of others. On the other hand, historian tries his best to ensure the reality of his research results, using only rough materials.

In conclusion, historians and storytellers focus on different tasks and adopt contrary research method. Basically, story and history are two aspects of a coin.(赞一个) The areas that history scholars and story creators focus may have the same edge where one can hardly distinct each other. After all, the two careers should keep the dominant respectively in order to develop and refine themselves.
一个小时写出400多字比起我来说好多了。
通篇给人感觉不错，表达方式与众不同。

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nujnujoahz
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板凳

发表于 2007-2-11 19:15:10 |只看该作者

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21:46 Start.
Start
history and story over its function
the way to research on history and thus the difference between it and story
Admittedly, some historians win reputation through their excellent story
Conclusion and ponder over history

I heard a pupil have said that he would feel easy if he was born centuries ago in that key points on the history text would be less. The naive boy complains the boring subject history, although it is useful. Stories are favored by every child; by contrast, history shows its serious aspect and makes countless scholars devoting themselves into it. Story scene and historic details are therefore fundamentally different from each other.(开头很新颖,说明了历史学家和讲故事的人是不同的,不过,最好还是指明, 历史学家不是讲故事的人,否定题干)

From the view of function, history and story distinguish(这个词是区别,辨别的意思,没有和……不同的意思） each other. Stories, severing（serving) as tools for fun and sometimes improving intelligence, attract every child(不一定仅仅吸引小孩子吧） and underlie the colorful childhood. Storytellers therefore are always memorized by public. On the other hand, the basic function of history is to approach the truth and thus guide and affect the way people think and do. In fact, researchers on history always show as educators while storytellers pretend to be funny（fun) finders and are good at creating myths.(这段说功能不同）

As two different kinds of career, history and story research(这个题目是说history research 和storytelling相比较，而不是和story research） activities adopt diverse method. Green is prized because of his famous stories. None of the details there are true but Green's
masterpieces instill general educational ideas such as beauty, truth and etc. This kind of education is conceived by thrilling（这个是发抖的意思啊） details which are abstracted from the details of daily life. Famous historian always keeps mind in both contemporary daily life and historic
remains. Historic remains help us to identify the real process long long ago and the conclusion, combined with the condition nowadays, teaches us to face the problem of today. The think of analogy makes the history theory run （加个forward是不是好一点）.（这段说方法不同）

Admittedly, man cannot show history concisely without mistakes. We may be misleaded by some remains. Furthermore, sometimes, we have to use the creative talent in order to install all of small pieces into splendorous（splendid) historic(historical) picture. On the other hand（应该是on one hand吧，呵呵）, history knowledge helps storytellers fulfill their stories. However, stories do not take the responsibility to keep pace with(这个词组是不错，不过翻译过来是故事没有责任和事实并驾齐驱，不如直接说tories do not keep pace with the fact) the fact, and even garble the fact intensively in order to cater to the interests of others. On the other hand, historian tries his best to ensure the reality(真实性用authenticity 或者用 facticity) of his research results, using only rough materials.
（承认历史在一定程度上需要想象，但是和讲故事的想象是有区别的，讲了两者的关系）

In conclusion, historians and storytellers focus on different tasks and adopt contrary research method. Basically, story and history are two aspects(sides就行了） of a coin. The areas that history scholars and story creators focus may have the same edge（用overlaping edges 好一些) where one can hardly distinct（distinguish) each other. After all, the two careers should keep the dominant respectively in order to develop and refine themselves.

（结尾说了历史学家和讲故事的人的区别，不过还要再点题，说明历史学家不是讲故事的人。感觉这个结尾始终都在说历史研究和讲故事是两个不同的领域，它们的区别，最后还是要落在题目上啊，就是历史学家从来都不是讲故事的人能比拟的）

感觉你是学文科的，呵呵
文笔和想象力都很好，文章很有新义，尤其是开头的引出故事的趣味性和历史的一些枯燥性，一下子就说明了两者是不同的
兰色的词是我认为比较好的词汇

缺点就是：
1。开头结尾没有点题，一定要说hitorian is never storyteller，不过瑕不掩瑜

总之很不错
要向你学习，有时间看看我的吧，希望你能帮我批改一下
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=600740&extra=page%3D1

[ 本帖最后由 nujnujoahz 于 2007-2-11 20:04 编辑 ]

拼了!~
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