[i习作temp] ISSUE120 上海三月高频，大家猛拍啊~~ [复制链接]

ylym26
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电梯直达

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发表于 2007-3-14 20:33:49 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

+--
过时的历史应该被抛弃：燃烧取暖
有些东西没有变，可以借鉴：犯罪问题；社会的本质
复杂的现在来自简单的过去；借鉴历史经验
历史可以教育人们爱国；作为人们的榜样；警戒作用（以史为鉴）

Do we need to look back to the past? The speaker asserts not, because there is such new and complex days toady that the past can no longer provide any guidance to us. Although I admit that the world is fraught with tremendous changes compared with the past. Yet, in my observation, retrospection of the past will still be helpful to the modern society.
As a threshold matter, the world has changed so much thanks to the development of science and technology, which also varied our lives a lot. Therefore, putting our emphasis on the understanding of some out-of-date things and seeking for their guidance is of little benefit. For example, even the kings in old society had to sit near a fire when they feel cold, but now, most of us own a machine named air-condition to warm ourselves. It is a cleaner, safer and more convenient method, in comparison with burning for heat; it will save more money with the development of solar power as the new source energy. Obviously, burning for heat is an outdated way, and it should be replaced at best. There is no need for us to study the usage of it any longer, unless we take it as a path to study the history of those periods.
However, there are still large amounts of things keep unchanged with the time. Crime, which has troubled almost every society, is still existed in our society as one of the major problems. So we can turn to the past for help. After close scrutiny of the different methods and the consequences they resulted in, we can give up these ways substantiated to be wrong, use those successful ways as reference, and at last find a way that suit our society. The same is true of essences in our society, such as some basic principles and theories, no matter how fast the world changed, because what they demonstrated are something that related to the essence of the world - natural rules and thinking mode of people, which are almost impossible to change.
What is more, almost all the new and complex things are progressed from the past, so it is a good idea that we should look back to the past if we want to see quick development of our society. Our ancestries accumulate a myriad of experiences for us, which can save our time and prevent us from making mistakes. It is especially useful when we meet with an unknown thing, we can do nothing but turn to a familiar history for help. Moreover, history can help us to pay our attention to the complex processes of social changes, understand why these changes occur and what are the consequences of these changes? What are the ingredientsthat may also influence the changes of today?
In addition, history, as an old man who tells a lot of wonderful stories about the nation to children and infuse children with national values and loyaltywhen they are still young. History is also a gather of people who provide lessons in courage and diligence, who are the excellent examples for us to follow. Besides, history is an alarm that reminds us not to step into the same river at a second time. Li Shimin, the greatest king in Tang Dynastyin old China, said that take history as a mirror, we can learn why there was a rise and a fall of each dynasty, which sums up the benefits of understanding the past well.
In short, I would like to say, we should make for use of the past experiences for the reason that there are so many things never changed, no matter how fast our society changed, even for most of those matters altered with time, there are also relationships between the past and now. What we need to abandoned are the outdated things.
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bingdao121
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沙发

发表于 2007-3-17 10:43:06 |只看该作者

Do we need to look back to the past? The speaker asserts not, because there is such new and complex days toady这两个在一起比较的怪!建议只有today that the past can no longer (no longer在后面如何?)provide any guidance to us. Although I admit that the world is fraught with tremendous changes compared with the past. Yet,(我想你是想表述虽然......但是.....的意思,那这里就不用yet这个词,只用前面一个although吧) in my observation, retrospection of the past will still be helpful to the modern society.
As a threshold matter, the world has changed so much thanks to the development of science and technology, which also varied our lives a lot. Therefore, putting our emphasis on the understanding of some out-of-date things and seeking for their guidance is of little benefit. (句子不错啊,呵呵,学习中!!)For example, even the kings in old society had to sit near a fire when they feel cold, but now, most of us own a machine named air-condition(air-conditiner) to warm ourselves. It is a cleaner, safer and more convenient method(建议tool), in comparison with burning for heat; it will save more money with the development of solar power as the new source energy. Obviously, burning for heat is an outdated way, and it should be replaced at best. There is no need for us to study the usage of it any longer, unless we take it as a path to study the history of those periods.
However, there are still large amounts of things keep(keeping) unchanged with the time. Crime, which has troubled almost every society, is still existed(这个谓语动词用exists吧,不然有重复) in our society as one of the major problems. So we can turn to the past for help. After close scrutiny of the different methods and the consequences they resulted in, we can give up these ways substantiated to be wrong, use those successful ways as reference, and at last find a way that suit 加上s our society. The same is true of essences in our society, such as some basic principles and theories, no matter how fast the world changed, because what they demonstrated are something that related to the essence of the world - natural rules and thinking mode of people, which are almost impossible to change.但是这段的例子有点勉强啊,犯罪的手法等的不同, 那过去也是没有多少借鉴意义
What is more, almost all the new and complex things are progressed from the past, so it is a good idea that we should look back to the past if we want to see quick development of our society. Our ancestries accumulate这个是过去时 a myriad of experiences for us, which can save our time and prevent us from making mistakes. It is especially useful when we meet with (不要这个with如何?)an unknown thing, we can do nothing but turn to a familiar history for help. Moreover, history can help us to pay our attention to the complex processes of social changes, understand why these changes occur and what are the consequences of these changes? What are the ingredientsthat may also influence the changes of today?最好阐述一个例子,如何?
In addition, history, as an old man who tells a lot of wonderful stories about the nation to children and infuse children with national values and loyaltywhen they are still young. History is also a gather of people who provide lessons in courage and diligence, who are the excellent examples for us to follow. Besides, history is an alarm that reminds us not to step into the same river at a second time. Li Shimin, the greatest king in Tang Dynastyin old China, said that take history as a mirror, we can learn why there was a rise and a fall of each dynasty, which sums up the benefits of understanding the past well.你前面说的时过去对现在的借鉴与影响, 这一段又说history的作用, 最好连接过渡的好一些.不然有点突兀
In short, I would like to say, we should make for use of the past experiences for the reason that there are so many things never changed, no matter how fast our society changed, even for most of those matters altered with time, there are also relationships between the past and now. What we need to abandoned are the outdated things.
字数：646

整体挺好的, 逻辑上有待加强
此外, 对于外语中can 的用法, 我的看法时,不是能动性的,或者拟人的手法在里面的,就不要在主语为物的后面用can了,个人的建议

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