[i习作temp] Issue130 有拍必“狠狠”回之 [复制链接]

woodman
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电梯直达

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发表于 2007-8-6 00:18:02 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Issue 130 How children aresocialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have notyet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.
限时587字，修改费时1小时
1.的确社会化对孩子很重要
2.但是社会化并不是唯一决定孩子对未来社会贡献的因素，还有其他的直至关重要的因素（知识和非知识方面）
3.我们知道如何培养孩子（我们目前的教育体系比较完善）

Children, we believe, are the future ofour society--successors to carry forward our glorious civilization, and creators to inject new blood into promoting science and technology. Yet, to ensure abetter society, mere focus on children’s socialization may risk bringing up bombasticand unlearned next generation. Fortunately, to some degree, we have obtained the effective way, an integrated education system involving participation of parents,school and society, to cultivate children.

Admittedly, to well socialize ourchildren, the process by which children are made to communicate with othersocial members, which involves respect, understanding, share and acceptance byculture or society, is a promising aspect to the development of society.Lacking of such process may render the children’s normal life and furtherdevelopment, in that they may be isolated in this world, even grow intoanti-social individuals. One need look no further than the astounding shoot inVirginia Technology University only a few months ago, the killer who is unsocial,odd and aloof finally released his dissatisfaction toward the society in an extreme way-- killed 32 teachers and friends and dead by his own hand. If the world were filled with such terrible individuals, how wouldour society be? The answer is that endlessly bitter hostility and conflicts compose our future society.

Nevertheless, socialization is just one factor affecting an individual’s contribution to a better society. If we narrowly focus on the children's socialization, then we may ignore many other crucialaspects such as knowledge and creativity that influence children’s futureperformance in a society, and eventually destroy their future. As thewell-known quotation Thomas Jefferson, a famous present of the United States,once said, “Knowledge is power, knowledge is safety, that knowledge ishappiness”, it means that knowledge is crucial for development of individual as well as society. Imagine, a present possesses excellent communication capability but lacks of any commonsense of politics and military affairs, could he success in his political life and make any fate to the country’s development? Theanswer is negative. He might lead the whole country to the edge of danger inthat he might make false policy without take deep consideration of its possible disadvantages, and he might order the army to initiate wars that betray people’swill. Besides, Creativity is important keys to success in today's rapidly changing world. Take business for example, process improvement, problem solving, recruiting, retaining and motivating employees, decision making, dealing with limited resources, satisfying customers, and rapidly changing technology are all examples of business realities that require creative solutions. If our next generation is bound to the old ways,then how can they adapt to the rapidly updating world? Let alone build a better society. Hence, such intellectual and non-intellectual aspects should be taken into account when educating children.

Moreover, to make our children be capable to help bring about a better society, we have made efforts generation by generation to seek the effective method. Actually, nowadays, we have somewhat learned how to raise children. To ensure children’s comprehensive development, parents encourage children to communicate more with their peers, highly value theircuriosity and new ideas, teach them love, tolerance and independence. In addition, school education systems have been greatly improved in the passing years: curriculums are designed on the basis of ensuring necessary knowledge and individual interests, diverse activities offered to students to foster their social abilities such as competition and cooperation. What's more, the whole society pays more and more attention on children's development. It invests large amount of money in education, provide children with many opportunities such as part-time jobs and interns to touch the real society, advocates thosewho are examples of society to influence children, ensure a peaceful and go-ahead atmosphere for children to grow up and learn. Such integrated education method can enable our children well prepared both intellectually and emotionally for improving our society.

In sum, children who are only well socialized can hardly build a promising better society, and we should aim atcultivating those who opposes enough knowledge, high emotion quotient, and excellent social ability. Such requirement can be met by existed education system. Moreover,just like the motto says “there is no best, but better”, effective way adapting to the changing world needs to adjust constantly.

谁能告诉我怎么解决从文档贴上来空格不见的办法

[ 本帖最后由 woodman 于 2007-8-7 10:43 编辑 ]

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bbg
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沙发

发表于 2007-8-6 01:04:48 |只看该作者

Issue 130 How children aresocialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have notyet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.
限时587字，修改费时1小时
1.的确社会化对孩子很重要
2.但是社会化并不是唯一决定孩子对未来社会贡献的因素，还有其他的直至关重要的因素（知识和非知识方面）
3.我们知道如何培养孩子（我们目前的教育体系比较完善）

Children, we believe, are the future ofour society--successors to carry forward our glorious civilization, and creatorsto inject new blood into promoting science and technology. Yet, to ensure abetter society, mere focus on children’s socialization may risk bringing up bombasticand unlearned next generation. Fortunately, to some degree, we have obtainedthe effective way, an integrated education system involving participation of parents,school and society, to cultivate children.

Admittedly, to well socialize ourchildren, the process by which children are made to communicate with othersocial members, which involves respect, understanding, share and acceptance byculture or society, is a promising aspect to the development of society.Lacking of such process may render the children’s normal life and furtherdevelopment, in that they may be isolated in this world, even grow intoanti-social individuals. One need look no further than the astounding shoot inVirginia Technology University only a few months ago, the killer who is unsocial,odd and aloof finally released his dissatisfaction toward the society in aextreme way-- killed 32 teachers and friends and dead by hisown hand. If the world were filled with such terrible individuals, how wouldour society be? The answer is that endlesslybitter hostility and conflicts compose our future society.

Nevertheless, socialization is just onefactor affecting an individual’s contribution to a better society. If wenarrowly focus on the children's socialization, then we may ignore many other crucialaspects such as knowledge and creativity that influence children’s futureperformance in a society, and eventually destroy their future. As thewell-known quotation Thomas Jefferson, a famous present of the United States,once said, “Knowledge is power, knowledge is safety, that knowledge ishappiness”, it means that knowledge is crucial for development of individual aswell as society. Imagine, a present possesses excellent communication capabilitybut lacks of any commonsense of politics and military affairs, could he successin his political life and make any fate to the country’s development? Theanswer is negative. He might lead the whole country to the edge of danger inthat he might make false policy without take deep consideration of its possibledisadvantages, and he might order the army to initiate wars that betray people’swill. Besides, Creativity is important keys to success in today's rapidlychanging world. Take business for example, process improvement, problemsolving, recruiting, retaining and motivating employees, decision making,dealing with limited resources, satisfying customers, and rapidly changingtechnology are all examples of business realities that require creativesolutions. If our next generation is bound to the old ways,then how can they adapt to the rapidly updating world? Let alone build a bettersociety. Hence, such intellectual and non-intellectual aspects should be takeninto account when educating children.

Moreover, to make our children be capable to help bring about a better society, we have made efforts generation by generation to seek the effective method. Actually, nowadays, we have somewhat learnedhow to raise children. To ensure children’s comprehensive development, parentsencourage children to communicate more with their peers, highly value theircuriosity and new ideas, teach them love, tolerance and independence. Inaddition, school education systems have been greatly improved in the passing years:这里没例子不容易站住脚 curriculums are designed on the basis of ensuring necessary knowledgeand individual interests, diverse activities offered to students to fostertheir social abilities such as competition and cooperation. What's more, thewhole society pays more and more attention on children's development.（这里上下不着边，社会关注怎么了，关注有用，要警察干甚） It investslarge amount of money in education, provide children with many opportunitiessuch as part-time jobs and interns to touch the real society, advocates thosewho are examples of society to influence children, ensure a peaceful and go-ahead atmosphere for children to grow up and learn. Such integratededucation method can enable our children well prepared both intellectually and emotionallyfor improving our society.

In sum, children who are only wellsocialized can hardly build a promising better society, and we should aim atcultivating those who opposes enough knowledge, high emotion quotient, and excellentsocial ability. Such requirement can be met

写得不错，但缺点什么，觉得assertion的力度不够，作为argument觉得有点怀疑你的立场。
加油，共勉，立志拍死改卷老外，让他被我忽悠得团团转。

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