寄托家园留学论坛 › 论坛 › 寄托学术类备考版 › GRE作文互动版 › Issue51 第一篇处女作，欢迎拍砖！！

返回列表

查看: 944|回复: 8

[i习作temp] Issue51 第一篇处女作，欢迎拍砖！！ [复制链接]

alextao81
UID：2309146

高级会员

Rank: 5 Rank: 5

声望: 2
寄托币: 318
注册时间: 2007-3-5
精华: 1
帖子: 4

电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2007-8-11 20:46:18 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

8月底考AW了，今天刚开始练习，准备从高频的写起，于是写了ISSUE51
写了半天，然后再修改了一下，贴上来希望各位给点意见！！

51.Education will be trully effective only when it is specially designed to meet the individual needs and interest of each student.

position: 大负小正
outline:
      1. it is impossible for education to cater individual needs and interest of each students with limited educational resource.
      2. meeting personal interest will lead to over-specified learning which have negative impact on both students' study and society as a whole
      3. concession: student-oriented pettern of education would cause some benefits on students' study.

At present, education exerts an increasingly dominant and determinative role in contemporary society, hence people never cease to search a way of making education truly effective.  A majority of critics put forward a notion that education should attach much more importance on individual needs. Only when education is particularly devised to cater the individual needs and interest of each student, can it verily achieve effectiveness.  However, they fail to perceive a fundamental and essential fact that the needs of individual are diverse from each other and it is totally impossible for education to meet the various requirements of each students with limited resource. A serious of problems will come after the student-oriented pattern of teaching even lead to the failure of educational system.

In the first place, the most conspicuous problem is that the possibility and feasibility of catering individual needs and interest of all students should be called into questioned. While the resources in educational system such as teaching facilities, faculties and educational fund are restricted and scarce, the needs and interest of individual is vary from person to person and diverse from different stages of a student's life. Comparing to enormous students and various personal needs, the resource of education is far from sufficient. For example, teachers, main resource of educational resource, if education is designed for meeting individual needs, it would occupy a great deal of time of teachers who will otherwise impart knowledge and skills to a wide range of students so that result in unfavorable fairness of education resources distribution. (感觉这段关于resource的展开的不是太充分，各位认为如何写得更深入点？）

Moreover, the primary purpose of education is to develop students' creativity, insight and analytical ability as well as to socialize every individual to identify with the main stream value of our contemporary society for the sake of better prepare of the future competitive career. If educational system gives priority to the student-centered pattern of teaching, unquestionably, students are aware of more opportunities are available to learn what they want to learn also they would not be forced to engage in what they show little interest in, or what they believe useless for their future career. At the first glance, it benefits to students assimilate knowledge and skills. Nevertheless, as a whole, it will result in over-specified learning which not only circumscribe the scope of students' knowledge and ken but also prevent students from being a competent and qualified individual for future career. With over-specified learning, students narrow focus on their own interest and goal, however, modern society requires individual who can see a board picture of complicated environment and equip comprehensive knowledge and skills. Meeting personal needs make society becomes inward-looking and eventual inefficiency which equates the failure of education.

Admittedly, student-oriented education has favorable and positive influence on student's study, encouraging  students to actively participate in learning progress. Guiding by intrinsic interest, the desire of learning and the interest of knowledge of students can be greatly stimulated so as to students would make great effort to study and thus acquire more achievement in the field of their study.

In sum, it is the responsibility of education that is to spare no effort to devise a proper and appropriate curriculum for students. When it comes to the effectiveness of education, it hardly achieve by blindly and unreasonably meeting the needs and interest of each students which may gives rise to  to both advantages and disadvantages for society. Schools and universities ought to be conscious of students' interest and desire, at the same time, take account of the benefit of whole society in order to obtain a balance between personal requirement and society demand.

文中没有用什么有力的例子，各位有什么好建议加强说服力吗？

[ 本帖最后由 alextao81 于 2007-8-12 16:09 编辑 ]

回应
0

使用道具举报

alextao81
UID：2309146

高级会员

Rank: 5 Rank: 5

声望: 2
寄托币: 318
注册时间: 2007-3-5
精华: 1
帖子: 4

沙发

发表于 2007-8-12 11:13:07 |只看该作者

自己再顶一顶

使用道具举报

alextao81
UID：2309146

高级会员

Rank: 5 Rank: 5

声望: 2
寄托币: 318
注册时间: 2007-3-5
精华: 1
帖子: 4

板凳

发表于 2007-8-12 22:02:23 |只看该作者

再顶！

使用道具举报

liuxun0824
UID：2370895

新手上路

Rank: 1

声望: 0
寄托币: 50
注册时间: 2007-7-28
精华: 0
帖子: 1

地板

发表于 2007-8-12 22:29:19 |只看该作者

ding

使用道具举报

alextao81
UID：2309146

高级会员

Rank: 5 Rank: 5

声望: 2
寄托币: 318
注册时间: 2007-3-5
精华: 1
帖子: 4

5楼

发表于 2007-8-14 00:02:10 |只看该作者

求各位帮忙看看啊～～我自己改过一遍了，高手帮忙看看结构有没有问题

[ 本帖最后由 alextao81 于 2007-8-14 09:45 编辑 ]

使用道具举报

zhennan8738
UID：2378949

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 0
寄托币: 120
注册时间: 2007-8-9
精华: 0
帖子: 0

6楼

发表于 2007-8-14 00:16:43 |只看该作者

我觉得第一段有点啰嗦，没有开门见山，不是新东方老师教的风格~~至少第一句有点多余
我也觉得这片例子不好举，没有什么出名的大人物……

不过，我就是个菜鸟级的，也正准备把51当地一篇来写呢
而且也是8月底考试
交个朋友吧，以后可以互相改作文啊~~:)

使用道具举报

alextao81
UID：2309146

高级会员

Rank: 5 Rank: 5

声望: 2
寄托币: 318
注册时间: 2007-3-5
精华: 1
帖子: 4

7楼

发表于 2007-8-14 09:34:08 |只看该作者

谢谢ls的意见啊，我QQ是47845596，请加我吧！

使用道具举报

zhennan8738
UID：2378949

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 0
寄托币: 120
注册时间: 2007-8-9
精华: 0
帖子: 0

8楼

发表于 2007-8-14 21:16:29 |只看该作者

我今天也写了一篇，咱俩互相看看吧~~

According to the speaker, if education is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student, it will be more effective. To some extent, I agree that needs and interests play a vital role in studying. However, we also cannot neglect the adverse effects of this special education.

Admittedly, interests are one of the best teachers of children, for attracting them to learn, think, and create. An investigative report showed that students who took courses which they were fond of did better jobs than those who were arranged to take uninterested lessons. And those students who chose the courses they needed also gained higher scores than the ones who did not. Indeed, this report demonstrates the significance of interests and needs of individuals. Nevertheless, should an educational system that take into account the specific needs and interests of each student to be built, in order to help the students to fully develop their distinct potential and talent?

Although students, in such an educational system, feeling centered and appreciated, will be more motivated to study, this system can be established impossibly. For the reason is that modern educational resources are considerately limited vis-à-vis the huge amount of students. In many small villages, for example, a teacher who worked in a primary school of even a secondary school, taught a great deal of students in two or more grades. In this poor situation, teachers hardly have spare time to design the specific courses for each student.

For the purpose of educating the talents with full-scale knowledge, even though educational resources abound, specifically designed education should not take the place of traditional general education. If schools overemphasis students’ personal interests and develop teaching only according to their leaning, students are likely to involve themselves more actively in studying the subjects they prefer to, but pay little attention to their weak areas. Hence it will lead to such a consequence that students graduate from school with incomplete knowledge, which diverges from the original purpose of education.

Though total liberty in designing education is not available to all individual students, schools can try their best to offer more choices and autonomy to students as long as the quality of compulsory education is guaranteed. If not, writers, painters, ballerinas, musicians, or athletes will possibly disappear.

In sum, the speaker’s claim overstates the importance of education which is specifically designed. Although individual’s needs and interest can become the motive of study, we still have to consider the feasibility and the deleterious effects of such special education.

我是按孙远的提纲写的，而且有些话也是照搬下来的，写了大半天，实在是懒得改了……

使用道具举报