[i习作temp] issue48【0806G-champion小组】第12次作业 [复制链接]

daniel613
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电梯直达

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发表于 2008-2-3 00:24:47 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

48 "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten." [05/50; 06/7]
对历史的研究把太多的重点放在对某些个人上。而历史上一些重大的事件和发展趋势不是由个别名人决定的，而是由那些已经被人们淡忘的社会群体所创造的。

The statement assert that historians should not places too much attention on individuals but the nameless groups more because the history maybe created by those groups. I am incline to disagree with this assertion for I contend that emphasis far more on the faceless groups will make the history lose its value. Furthermore, It is always that the famous people attribute enormous contribution to the development of history and they often lead the common to achieve their victories.

In the first place, studying history in the approach of investigating each faceless group would make history lose its sense. History is something that records of the past events which are significant to the impetus of our society, politics, philosophy, art, sciences and technology. History is necessary because contemporary people need to find useful information such as inspiration, courage, the methods of success and the reason of failure. All these things usually existed in the hero of past events-- men who makes the decision or who are the leader--individuals. If people had focused not only on those individuals but also anonymous groups, the history books would become as complicated as the database or census. Then it would be so difficult for readers to find what they demand. Therefore, history can only be made into serials stories about heroes.

Furthermore, it is famous individuals play a key role in advancing history rather than ordinary groups. For instance, in the NBA (the national basketball association) Chicago Bulls have gotten six times champion in 1990s due to the best basketball player--Michael Jordan. Jordan has perfect skills, charming personality and strong wills. He led the team won there-consecutive championship (1990-1993). But when he temporarily left from team owing to his father's death, Chicago bulls miss their victory in the next two years. However, when Jordan came back to the NBA, he helped the teams achieve another there-consecutive championship (1995-1998). The history of Chicago Bulls accomplishment is probably sufficient to prove that the distinguished individuals play a vital role in the history.

Admittedly, I have to concede that the common groups also have their contribution in history. First, the famous few often came from the common family. It is the common assist the potential youths become into successful men. A tough life will give these young people the experience that how to manage to face the predicament, the meaning of respect for life and the hope to change their living standard. A good case in point is Abraham Lincoln---without his stepmother Nancy’s love and instruction, he cannot attain huge achievement in ending the system in slavery. Second, the masses always back up the famous people to fulfill his career. For instance, the first Present of America---George Washington, without supporting from ordinary civilians and soldiers, can hardly gain the ultimate victory of the American Revolution. Thus, we should also take care of the common if necessary.

In sum, placing too much emphasis on individuals is an adoptable ways to study history. And I concede that each nameless group has their role in the development of history. However, the key factor of an event is decided by the key people.

[ 本帖最后由 daniel613 于 2008-2-3 14:33 编辑 ]

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queenie7
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沙发

发表于 2008-2-3 21:16:45 |只看该作者

The statement asserts that historians should not places too much attention on individuals,but the nameless groups more(读着好累，换一种表达方式会好些。place more attention on the nameless groups, who may actually shape history, rather than the famous few. )because the history maybe created by those groups. I am inclined to disagree with this assertion for I contend(the reason that) emphasis far more(不大懂这种用法） on the faceless groups will make the history lose its value. Furthermore, It is always that the famous people who attribute enormous contribution to the development of history and they often lead the common to achieve theirvictories.

In the first place, studying history in the approach of investigating each faceless group would make studying history lose its sense.(worthless?) History is something that records of the past events which are(were) significant to the impetus of our society, politics, philosophy, art, sciences and technology. History is necessary because contemporary people need to find useful information such as inspiration, courage, the methods of achieving success and the reason of(for) failure. All these things usually existed in the heroes(前后单复数一致） of past events-- men who makes(made) the decision or who are(were) the leaders--individuals. If people had focused not only on those individuals but also anonymous groups, the history books would become as complicated as the database or census. (虚拟，意思明白）Then it would be so(too) difficult for readers to find what they demand. Therefore, history can only (绝对化词汇）be made into serials stories about heroes.（也有写整体事件的，并不全是英雄传）(这段的T.S.是在说如果以研究无名大众来研究历史，历史就失去意义了。而你的论证是在说无名群众没法记载，即历史研究数不清的人不现实。呃，这个....好像有点牵强，或者你干脆把主题句改了，说从少数个人身上后人更容易学到想要学的精神，别说什么“意义”了，挺玄的）

Furthermore, it is famous individuals who(三大必用句式之一--强调句，呵呵)play a key role in advancing history rather than ordinary groups. For instance, in the NBA (the national basketball association) Chicago Bulls have gotten six times champion in 1990s due to the best basketball player--Michael Jordan. Jordan has perfect skills, charming personality and strong wills. He led the team won there-consecutive championship (1990-1993). But when he temporarily left from team owing to his father's death, Chicago bulls miss their victory in the next two years.（篮球恰好是讲团队合作的最好例子，不能证明个人的力量，如果突出个人的作用，并不是列举公牛战绩就可以，最好突出写乔丹，比如他的领导力，团聚力之类） However, when Jordan came back to the NBA, he helped the teams achieve another there-consecutive championship (1995-1998). （你陈述的都是现象，最好具体到个人。argument 不是经常说A is little indication of B嘛)The history of Chicago Bulls' accomplishment is probably sufficient to prove that the distinguished individuals play a vital role in the history.

Admittedly, I have to concede that the common groups also have their contributions in history. First, the famous few often came from the common family. It is the common who assist the potential youths to become(turn) into successful men. A tough life will give these young people the experience that how to manage to face (to cope with)the predicament, the meaning of respect(到底是meaning 呢还是respect?) for life and the hope to change their living standard. A good case in point is Abraham Lincoln---without his stepmother Nancy’s love and instruction, he cannot attain(could not have attained) huge achievement in ending the system in(of) slavery. Second, the masses always back up the famous people to fulfill his career. For instance, the first Present of America---George Washington, without supporting from ordinary civilians and soldiers, he couldcan hardly have gained the ultimate victory of the American Revolution. Thus, we should also take care of the common(不大懂哎） if necessary.

In sum, placing too much emphasis on individuals is an adoptable ways to study history. And I concede that each nameless group has their roles in the course of development of history. However, the key factor of an event is decided by the key people.

在限制时间的条件下，最好留一两分钟检查主谓单复数一致，时态等有没有用错的。
强调句式的结构注意一下：It is....that(who).....
例子的确很重要，要围绕你的主题句展开。毕竟，我总结出还是充分论证最重要了。只要有强有力的论证支持你的观点，就算语言平实也是好作文。呵呵，我还不大敢限时写呢。一起加油咯~

p.s.绿色的是删掉的

[ 本帖最后由 queenie7 于 2008-2-3 21:23 编辑 ]

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