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[a习作temp] Argument9--Thrive小组第2次作业...来拍吧~~榴莲必拍阿 [复制链接]

z12y12l12
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电梯直达

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发表于 2008-2-4 02:16:06 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ARGUMENT9 - The following appeared in a memorandum from a dean at Omega University.

"Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by thirty percent. Potential employers apparently believe the grades at Omega are inflated; this would explain why Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors."

Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors fifteen years ago. But recently a dean at Omega University argues that Omega University should now terminate such student evaluation in order to enable its graduates to secure better jobs, by pointing out that the evaluation actually inflated the grades at Omega and caused the fact that Omega graduates have not been as successful as have graduates from Alpha University at getting jobs. The argument, though seemingly reasonable at first glance, suffers from several critical fallacies and logical faults.

First, the author implies that the reason why overall student grade averages raise is the grades were adulterated by the professors after the evaluation was implemented. However, such implication is not proved, since it is possible that the overall education quality was improved just because of the evaluation, and thus, the grades would be naturally increased, for the students are doing better jobs under the better study environment. Or, there is a possibility, that the Omega University is recruiting better students through that period. It is injustice to blame the student evaluation without any evidence.

Second, the author failed to establish a causal relationship between the increase of the grades and unsatisfactory performance of graduates in searching jobs. There could be several factors other than scores that will lead to a dissatisfaction of the employers, such as a lack of ability in teamwork, communication and creativity in their work, or the fact that they don't have an career guidance department which can help their students with their career life. A nationwide raise of unemployment rate could also cause the unsuccess when students are finding jobs. Thus, the way to improve the situation is to find out the actual reason and solve the problem.

Third, the author committed a false comparison between Omega and Alpha. Probably the Alpha University is a much more famous university than Omega, or there would be more potential employers who prefer Alpha to Omega. The author's assumptions, that Alpha University student are successful in job market is because they didn't implement such evaluation, is not validated. Since the success created by Alpha students could just be the result of the procedure in which Alpha students evaluate their professors. Therefore, the comparison failed to suggest anything about the effect of the evaluation.

Since there is not enough evidence supporting that student evaluation caused the students' unsuccess in finding jobs, Omega University should thus find more evidence that the evaluation caused the unsucess of searching jobs, or find other possible solutions, such as found a career guidance department, or improve the relationship with potential employers, to improve the situation.

之前:
只有317字....总感觉没地方入手...
另外写的太晚了。脑子转不过来了....
词汇依然贫乏....

改后:
447字了，主要加了些反例，另外觉得很多东西不好说，找工作的情况，只好用unsuccess of Omega student in searching jobs。很浪费啊，没有更好的描述法了么...

提纲:
The author's argument is not credible, because:
1. The implication that the professor adulterated in the grades are notproved. several other reasons can cause the increase of the scores.
2. The increase of the scores are not related with the failure in searching jobs.
3. comparing Alpha and Omega does not imply anything.
So, to turn the table, find another way, or find more evidence.

[ 本帖最后由 z12y12l12 于 2008-2-4 13:54 编辑 ]

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wuyanqi
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沙发

发表于 2008-2-4 02:45:08 |只看该作者

你限时了吗？没有的话就把文章写全了`写全了再贴吧 `
第一段比攻击段还长` 你一定是累了`一段比一段少`
好好休息` 再写一次吧`

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

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sbs
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板凳

发表于 2008-2-4 10:00:03 |只看该作者

晚上两点钟写当然没有思路了。。

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z12y12l12
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地板

发表于 2008-2-4 13:46:25 |只看该作者

啊........如释重负........

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yiyilov
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5楼

发表于 2008-2-8 19:27:45 |只看该作者

Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors fifteen years ago. But recently a dean at Omega University argues that Omega University should now terminate such student evaluation in order to enable its graduates to secure(secure用的好!)better jobs, by pointing out that the evaluation actually inflated the grades at Omega and caused the fact that Omega graduates have not been as successful as have graduates from Alpha University at getting jobs. The argument, though seemingly reasonable at first glance, suffers from several critical fallacies and logical faults.

First, the author implies that the reason why overall student grade averages(改成形容词grade-average,否则不能修饰后面的raise)raise is the grades were adulterated by the professors after the evaluation was implemented. However, such implication is not proved, since it is possible that the overall education quality was improved just because of the evaluation, and thus, the grades would be naturally increased, for the students are doing better jobs under the better study environment. Or, there is a possibility,(这里为什么要加逗号?) that the Omega University is(was)recruiting better students through that period. It is injustice(injustice好像是名词,最好改为unfair)to blame the student evaluation without any evidence.

Second, the author failed to establish a causal relationship between the increase of the grades and unsatisfactory performance of graduates in searching jobs. There could be several factors other than scores that will lead to a dissatisfaction of the employers, such as a lack of ability in teamwork, communication and creativity in their work, or the fact that they don't have an(a...老毛病了)career guidance department which can help their students with their career life(去掉life,career已有生涯的意思). A nationwide raise of unemployment rate could also cause the unsuccess when students are finding jobs. Thus, the way to improve the situation is to find out the actual reason and(then)solve the problem.

Third, the author committed a false comparison between Omega and Alpha. Probably the Alpha University is a much more famous university than Omega, or there would be(为什么用would be?用are就可以了吧?) more potential employers who prefer Alpha to Omega. The author's assumptions,(这里为什么要加逗号?) that Alpha University student are successful in job market is because they didn't implement such evaluation, is not validated. Since the success created by Alpha students could just be the result of the procedure in which Alpha students evaluate their professors. Therefore, the comparison failed to suggest anything about the effect of the evaluation.

Since there is not enough evidence supporting that student evaluation caused the students' unsuccess(如果觉得没变化可以换成lack of success)in finding(应改成getting,谁都可以finding,没有人不能finding)jobs, Omega University should thus find more evidence that the evaluation caused the unsucess of searching jobs, or find other possible solutions, such as found a career guidance department, or improve the relationship with potential employers, to improve the situation.

你的阿狗写的不错,再练练一定没问题的!

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