[i习作temp] Issue83 littleoxygen作业第九次求狠拍留链接必回[Interregnum小组] [复制链接]

littleoxygen
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电梯直达

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发表于 2008-7-24 23:18:46 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ISSUE83 - "Government should preserve publicly owned wilderness areas in their natural state, even though these areas are often extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people."
WORDS: 349 TIME: 00:56:23 DATE: 2008-7-24 23:09:42

Should the wilderness areas be preserved in their natural by government? Or be abandoned since these areas are extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people? The author asserts that the former should be chose, while I strongly agree with him/her.

The first goal to preserve such wilderness areas is to protect the distinct natural scenery. Since those areas are often remote and seldom effected by people's activities, the natural scenery will be able to stay naive. Government should take measures to protect those areas from most human development and pollution, not only for the natural diversity, but also for the protection of environment. Take the Yellowstone National Park for example, which was established as the world's first truly national park, the federal government spent much on preserving it and it becomes a worldwide famous park. When one enters into the park, he will feel amazing, by the beautiful scenery and be filled with comfort, which the lives in city cannot provide with. To establish national park and preserve the wilderness areas will be a helpful way to afford such places.

Moreover, the wilderness areas offer a refuge for wildlife, which is worthy to protect as well. Such largely undeveloped locations are usually not disturbed by people's activities and preserve the ecosystems well, so the wildlife lives there freely. Nowadays many species have become extinct as a result of human processes, rather than making extraordinary efforts to save them in zoos, it is better, and more effective, to preserve their home along with.

However, it is not only government should response for the preservation of wilderness areas, but other orgnizations also should do. And it may cost much on preserving those areas, if we only rely on the government. NGO and voluteers should also make their efforts during this procede, to rouse more individuals to concern with environment protection and to save the money of taxers.

In short, government should preserve the remote areas as well as the environment and biodiversity. In another sense, the responsibilities not only belong to the government, but also depends no everyone.

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sara7664926
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沙发

发表于 2008-7-27 16:17:20 |只看该作者

不好意思,才来改!

每一天都有一万种可能！

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sara7664926
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板凳

发表于 2008-7-27 16:17:59 |只看该作者

Should the wilderness areas be preserved in their natural by government? Or be abandoned since these areas are extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people? The author asserts that the former should be chose, while I strongly agree with him/her.

The first goal to preserve such wilderness areas is to protect the distinct natural scenery. Since those areas are often remote and seldom effected by people's activities, the natural scenery will be able to stay naive. Government should take measures to protect those areas from most human development and pollution, not only for the natural diversity, but also for the protection of environment. Take the Yellowstone National Park for example, which was established as the world's first truly national park, the federal government spent much on preserving it and it becomes a worldwide famous park. When one enters into the park, he will feel amazing, by the beautiful scenery and be filled with comfort, which the lives in city cannot provide with. To establish national park and preserve the wilderness areas will be a helpful way to afford such places.(?)这句话是是说政府应该采取的措施吗?

Moreover, the wilderness areas offer a refuge for wildlife, which is worthy to protect as well. Such largely undeveloped locations are usually not disturbed by people's activities and preserve the ecosystems well, so the wildlife lives there freely. Nowadays many species have become extinct as a result of human processes, rather than making extraordinary efforts to save them in zoos, it is better, and more effective, to preserve their home along with.

However, it is not only government should response for the preservation of wilderness areas, but other orgnizations also should do. And it may cost much on preserving those areas, if we only rely on the government. NGO and voluteers should also make their efforts during this procede, to rouse more individuals to concern with environment protection and to save the money of taxers.

In short, government should preserve the remote areas as well as the environment and biodiversity. In another sense, the responsibilities not only belong to the government, but also depends no everyone.

有一个疑问: 黄石公园建立的动机是什么? 我不是很清楚啊!
本文是从环保角度考虑,第一段说那些地方可以保存原来的状态，既然这样似乎政府就不需要保护了？所以感觉应该把假如政府不采取措施的危害写上。
第二段说wilderness areas很重要是野生动物的避难场所，所以要保护。
第三段说个人也应该保护，不只只是政府。
总体感觉还好，论证要是能在深刻一些就更好了啊！

[ 本帖最后由 sara7664926 于 2008-7-27 16:33 编辑 ]

每一天都有一万种可能！

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lvxiao123
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地板

发表于 2008-7-28 22:43:22 |只看该作者

Should the wilderness areas be preserved in their natural by government? Or be abandoned since these areas are extremely remote and thus accessible to only a few people? The author asserts that the former should be chose, while I strongly agree with him/her.

The first goal to preserve such wilderness areas is to protect the distinct natural scenery有新意，我没有想到这一点. Since those areas are often remote and seldom effected by people's activities, the natural scenery will be able to stay naive---native. Government should take measures to protect those areas from most human development and pollution, not only for the natural diversity, but also for the protection of environment. Take the Yellowstone National Park for example, which was established as the world's first truly这个词感觉不是很妥当 national park, the federal government spent much on preserving it and it becomes a worldwide famous park. When one enters into* the park, he will feel amazing---amazed, by the beautiful scenery and be filled with comfort, which the lives in city cannot provide with. To establish national park and preserve the wilderness areas will be a helpful way to afford? such places.

Moreover, the wilderness areas offer a refuge本人感觉用sanctuary更合适 for wildlife, which is worthy to protect---be worth protecting as well. Such largely undeveloped locations are usually not disturbed by people's activities and preserve the ecosystems well, so the wildlife lives there freely. Nowadays many species have become extinctbecome和extinct不能用，后者是个结论性词汇“灭绝”就是灭绝，不能说“开始灭绝” as a result of human processes, rather than making extraordinary efforts to save them in zoos, it is better, and more effective, to preserve their home along with这个短语只能放在句子中.

However, it is not only government should responsebe responsible for the preservation of wilderness areas, but other organizations also should do ^it. And it may cost much on preserving those areas, if we only rely on the government. NGO and volunteers should also make their efforts during this procedeprocedure, to rouse好词！ more individuals to concern with environment protection and to save the money of taxers---the tax payers’ money.
In short, government should preserve the remote areas as well as the environment and biodiversity. In another sense, the responsibilities not only belong to the government, but also depends no everyone.

总体感觉还不错，这篇文章肯定是限时做的话也不能强求太多东西。看完整篇文章：
1. 你的第一个论点引用了黄石公园的例子，不同于楼上的说法，我觉得你很好的支撑了“protect the distinct natural scenery”这个论点。
2. 后面两段，如果用中国人的逻辑，读起来完全没有问题，但你细细想想，你其实都是在泛泛而谈，每个论点都缺乏实际的论据做支撑。道理是正确的，但让人信服，让老美信服就有点困难。如果你没段都像你第一段那样说清楚，有论据，即使你说的不多我觉得也比泛泛而谈更好。
3. 当然做到我刚才所说的，时间是个大问题，这也是我的一个问题

对了同学，因为听你说要考了，所以我是认真看了才改的，如果说得有些重，你海涵，也是为你好。如果有时间回拍，可以拍我26号的作业，没有时间也不要紧，好好复习，祝你考好！

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