[a习作temp] 0910G[North America Flying] Argument173 by 421899282 [复制链接]

421899282
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电梯直达

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发表于 2009-6-6 01:09:28 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ARGUMENT173 - The following is a memorandum issued by the publisher of a newsmagazine, Newsbeat, in the country of Dinn.

"Our poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. Moreover, the cost of maintaining our foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. Therefore, we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on our magazine covers."

The editorial above concludes that Newsbeat should decease emphasis on international news and refrain from
displaying such stories on covers. As evidence the writer claims that magazines with international news as cover turned
out to be poorest-selling while their competitors decreased the number of that kind of magazines.The author also
argues that the cost to maintain the report of international news is increasing.However,a close review indicates that the
evidences are all correlational not causal.

The first point,we can not ascribe the magazines'  bad sales figures  to the their covers of international
news.Evidently,there are many factors contribute to such a result.The most significant quality which a good
seller possesses is the various and attractive content inside rather than the cover outside.In addition,the consumers'
demand and purchasing power should be taken into consideration as well.Therefore it is definitely sloppy for the writer
to draw conclusions based on the above reason.

Then,the conclusion also relies on the statement that covers of international news in competing newsmagazines
declined during the same time.Regrettably,the editorial fails to offer the sales figures of competing newsmagazines
after the changes of covers,which makes the statement not convincing.What's more,even if the measures of cover-
change did lead the better-selling of the magazines the statistics within several competitors in the past three years do
not make sense no matter from view of space or from time.

Last,it is ridiculous to refrain the display international news just because the expense to maintain it is
increasing.Supposing the price of house is becoming higher would  you still like to buy one?It should depends on how
much the value of the house is.In the same way Newscast should firstly carry out aspecific survey  on the interest which
the international news could bring to them rather than commit a fallacy of hasty and short-sightedness.According to the
rules in business,a wise strategy especially when the market is with risks involved could double the profit.

On balance,the conclusion of this editorial is lack of convincing support.In order to strengthen the argument,the writer
must rule out other factors except the cover that also play a indispensable role in the sales of the magazines.At the
same time,we should be informed of the exact sales numbers of the competing newsmagazines which de-emphasize
the international magazines and that of other newsmagazines.Furthermore we need more information about the impact
of the increasing cost to report international news on the whole market to better assess the editorial.

no pains, no gains

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layne510
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沙发

发表于 2009-6-8 00:05:36 |只看该作者

The editorial above concludes that Newsbeat should decease emphasis on international news and refrain from
displaying such stories on covers. As evidence the writer claims that magazines with international news as cover turned
out to be poorest-selling while their competitors decreased the number of that kind of magazines.The author also
argues that the cost to maintain the report of international news is increasing.However,a close review indicates that the
evidences are all correlational not causal.

The first point,we can not ascribe the magazines'  bad sales figures  to the their covers of international
news.Evidently,there are many factors contribute to such a result.The most significant quality which a good
seller possesses is the various and attractive content inside rather than the cover outside这个Outside是不是就可以省略了.In addition,the consumers'
demand and purchasing power should be taken into consideration as well.Therefore it is definitely sloppy for the writer
to draw conclusions based on the above reason.

Then,the conclusion also relies on the statement that covers of international news in competing newsmagazines
declined during the same time.Regrettably,the editorial fails to offer the sales figures of competing newsmagazines
after the changes of covers,which makes the statement not convincing.What's more,even if the measures of cover-
change did lead the better-selling of the magazines the statistics within several competitors in the past three years do
not make sense no matter from view of space or from time.

Last,it is ridiculous to refrain the display international news just because the expense to maintain it is
increasing这个地方是不是要表述清楚是维持驻外机构的费用增多，即便这些机构的花费增多的确会是使display international news负担加重.Supposing the price of house is becoming higher would  you still like to buy one?It should depends on how
much the value of the house is.In the same way Newscast should firstly carry out aspecific survey  on the interest which
the international news could bring to them rather than commit a fallacy of hasty and short-sightedness.According to the
rules in business,a wise strategy especially when the market is with risks involved could double the profit.
On balance,the conclusion of this editorial is lack of convincing support.In order to strengthen the argument,the writer
must rule out other factors except the cover that also play a indispensable role in the sales of the magazines.At the
same time,we should be informed of the exact sales numbers of the competing newsmagazines which de-emphasize
the international magazines and that of other newsmagazines.Furthermore we need more information about the impact
of the increasing cost to report international news on the whole market to better assess the editorial.

这篇文章文笔细腻，语言流畅，论述充分，措辞精准，由于我水平有限，总体说来是用欣赏的眼光读完这篇文章的，而非修改。几处修改意见如有不当还望多多包涵。

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