[i习作temp] issue208 [TSUBASA] by qtangtangs [复制链接]

qtangtangs
UID：2630008

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 34
寄托币: 860
注册时间: 2009-4-16
精华: 0
帖子: 2

电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2009-7-7 13:30:29 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

208"The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."

People’s dressing style could be an interesting and meaning project to be looked up in. In fact, the way that people acting, appearing and looking reflect the current situation of a society, both spiritual and physical.

People who have common traditions, institutions, collective activities and interests gather together to improve their living environment, to make their lives better, therefore a society is gradually formed. And with more and more efforts, more and more persons devoted to the contribution of the society, the strength of it is getting stronger and stronger. Therefore, we can say that we human beings are the key part of a society’s development, or at least an indispensible part.

Due to the significant effect on the society people’s contribution has, it is necessary to pay more attention to the main body of the society—human beings. And investigating the appearance and the behavior of the people may be one of the most efficient and convenient methods to evaluate the exact role each person acts with in the society. When someone is hardworking and ardent to his job, we would appreciate him devoting himself to his career and the advancement; we may consider him to be kind of a bigwig someday as well. While on the other hand, when someone is laziness and less concerned about himself, we may consider him just as a normal person. This is also the same with one’s dressing style. There are so many kinds, so many styles of clothes we could choose now, and which style a person prefers may reflect one personality to a certain extent. If someone prefers a casual style, he may probably be a man with an agreeable, mild and unworried attitude towards the things happened surround. If someone prefers an official and elegant style, than he may be a strict, serious and humorless person.

Thus, personality and characteristic could be reflected as the way people dressing themselves and the way they appearing in their daily lives. And it is the two important factors that influence people to contribute different ideas and devote different kinds of values of themselves to the society, and make the society more developed and advanced. Generally, we called these factors EQ. The person with a high EQ standard tends to have a comprehensive ability of competition and could balance his way of life—neither too fast nor too slow. Also a high-EQ person has a strong sense of controlling himself and exactly knows his life goal so that he could devote all himself to his career without spending wasteful time and energy on the misleading part. Most importantly, they would be all-time positive no matter what problems happened. Hence a society with more high-EQ persons would surely enjoy a high developed economics and a better living environment.

Though some people may have a unique way of thinking, and act as normal persons, the number of these kinds of persons is just a small part comparing with the whole nation. We can not say that these persons are the key to change the world, which would be just happen in a fiction, but neglect the public’s strength. All in all, persons’ personality and characteristic would kind of decide a society’s development, and researching the way people appearing and behaving is a fast and efficient way to know about it.

已有 1 人评分	声望	收起理由
Brian78	+ 1	改完了·

总评分: 声望 + 1 查看全部投币

回应
0

使用道具举报

Brian78
UID：2604416

高级会员

Rank: 5 Rank: 5

声望: 15
寄托币: 1297
注册时间: 2009-2-19
精华: 0
帖子: 2

沙发

发表于 2009-7-7 18:40:43 |只看该作者

issue208 [TSUBASA] by qtangtangs
208"The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."

People’s dressing style could be an interesting and meaning（meaningful） project to be looked up in.(这句没有问题，但既然说了dress，就应该把look和act都叙述一下，要不然后面的论断显得很突然) In fact, the way that people acting, appearing and looking(act, appear and look) reflect(reflects) the current situation of a society, both spiritual and physical(spiritually and physically).
对第一句是什么态度？~
People who have common traditions, institutions, collective activities and interests gather together to improve their living environment, to make their lives better, therefore a society is gradually formed.（社会真是这样形成的吗？~） And with more and more efforts, more and more persons devoted （themselves） to the contribution of the society, the strength of it is getting stronger and stronger. Therefore, we can say that we human beings are the key part of a society’s development, or at least an indispensible part.(TS放句首吧~)
这段想论述人是社会的有机组成部分，但我觉得并没有论述清楚，应该着重讲人是怎样体现社会的意志的~
Due to the significant effect（s） on the society people’s contribution has, it is necessary to pay more attention to the main body of the society—human beings. And investigating the appearance and the behavior of the people may be one of the most efficient and convenient methods to evaluate the exact role each person acts with（？） in the society. When someone is hardworking and ardent to his job, we would appreciate him (for) devoting himself to his career and the advancement; we may consider him to be kind of a bigwig someday as well. While on the other hand, when someone is laziness(lazy) and less concerned about himself, we may consider him just as a normal person. This is also the same with one’s dressing style. There are so many kinds, so many styles of clothes we could choose now, and which style a person prefers may reflect one(‘s) personality to a certain extent. If someone prefers a casual style, he may probably be a man with an agreeable, mild and unworried attitude towards the things happened surround. If someone prefers an official and elegant style, than he may be a strict, serious and humorless person.（这个例子很好）
我觉得这段既然是要论述appearance和behavior能不能reveal people’s attitudes and interests，就不应该有开始两句，而且应该把dress和look结合起来当做appearance论述~
Thus, personality and characteristic（character） could be reflected as the way people dressing(dress) themselves and the way they appearing(appear) in their daily lives. And it is the two important factors that influence people to contribute different ideas and devote(delete?) different kinds of values of themselves to the society, and make the society more developed and advanced. Generally, we called these factors EQ. The person with a high EQ standard tends to have a comprehensive ability of competition and could balance his way of life—neither too fast nor too slow. Also a high-EQ person has a strong sense of controlling himself and exactly knows his life goal so that he could devote all himself to his career without spending wasteful time and energy on the misleading part. Most importantly, they would be all-time positive no matter what problems happened.（我怎么觉得这地方跑题了。。。） Hence a society with more high-EQ persons would surely enjoy a high developed economics and a better living environment. （前面没有一句是说EQ高对社会有什么用，怎么就hence了？。。。）
这一段貌似是想说个人是怎样影响社会的，但我觉得有点跑题~论述成了什么样的人能够帮助社会进步？~
Though some people may have a unique way of thinking, and act（and acting, 加逗号就有歧义了） as normal persons, the number of these kinds of persons is just a small part comparing with the whole nation.（去掉 the number of 吧，数字作主语不合适）We can not say that these persons are the key to change the world, which would be just happen in a fiction, but neglect the public’s strength. All in all, persons’ personality and characteristic（character） would kind of decide a society’s development, and researching the way people appearing and behaving is a fast and efficient way to know about it.

我理解你的逻辑应该是由外表和行为能够反映个人态度和兴趣，而个人态度和兴趣又能够反映社会的思想和价值观，因而推出1可以得到3。但你并没有在文中清楚地论述你的逻辑，让人有点摸不着头脑~而且说着说着就变成个人怎样影响社会了。。。

还有语法错误稍微有点多哦~

这篇文章的逻辑就是比较绕，我也写的不是很好，大家一起加油~！（改的不对的地方，请多包涵~）

我反复地回头看来时的路，看不出第二种轨迹。。

使用道具举报