寄托家园留学论坛 › 论坛 › 寄托学术类备考版 › GRE作文互动版 › 【TRANSFORMER】_ARGUMENT7_0804

返回列表

查看: 1483|回复: 6

[a习作temp] 【TRANSFORMER】_ARGUMENT7_0804 [复制链接]

灵感女孩
UID: 2224424

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 1
寄托币: 725
注册时间: 2006-6-24
精华: 0
帖子: 3

电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2009-8-4 10:29:27 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

7. The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Clearview newspaper.
"In the next mayoral election, residents of Clearview should vote forAnn Green, who is a member of the Good Earth Coalition, rather than forFrank Braun, a member of the Clearview town council, because thecurrent members are not protecting our environment. For example, duringthe past year the number of factories in Clearview has doubled, airpollution levels have increased, and the local hospital has treated 25percent more patients with respiratory illnesses. If we elect AnnGreen, the environmental problems in Clearview will certainly besolved."

9点之前完成大家加油~

回应
0

使用道具举报

灵感女孩
UID: 2224424

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 1
寄托币: 725
注册时间: 2006-6-24
精华: 0
帖子: 3

沙发

发表于 2009-8-4 14:18:28 |只看该作者

本帖最后由灵感女孩于 2009-8-5 14:13 编辑

TOPIC: ARGUMENT7 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Clearview newspaper.
"In the next mayoral election, residents of Clearview should vote for Ann Green, who is a member of the Good Earth
Coalition, rather than for Frank Braun, a member of the Clearview town council, because the current members are not protecting our environment. For example, during the past year the number of factories in Clearview has doubled, air pollution levels have increased, and the local hospital has treated 25 percent more patients with respiratory
illnesses. If we elect Ann Green, the environmental problems in Clearview will certainly be solved."

WORDS: 571       TIME: 00:27:48          DATE: 8/4/2009

Based on the ungrounded assumption and dubious evidence, the editor of the Clearview newspaper advocates that
residents of Clearview should vote for Ann Green in the next mayoral election, because if they elect Ann Green, the environmental problems in Clearview will be solved for sure. To substantiate this claim, the editor states that the current members of the town council are not protecting the environment thus the residents should not elect Frank Braun, who currently serves in the council. The editor also gives several examples to illustrate that the environment problem has aggravated. At first glance, the suggestion seems to be somewhat convincing. However, further reflection reveals that the editor made multiple logically unacceptable claims.

To begin with, the editor did not provide convincing evidence to show that the current council is not protecting the environment. Doubled number of factories in the town does not mean there are more polluting factories. Maybe these new factories are actually environmentally friendly. The increasing level of air  pollution may be a global trend that however hard the council is fighting it, it is still ineffective. Local hospital has treated 50 percent more patients with respiratory illnesses may be caused by the increasing capacity of the hospitals. It is possible that the town has built more hospitals in the past year so that they are able to treat more patients. So the examples the editor sites do not support his claim that the current council is not protecting the environment.

Next, even assuming that members of the current council are not protecting the environment, he falsely assumed that Frank Braun, a member of the town council will be the same as other members. Maybe Frank Braun is one of the those who advocate for protecting the environment, yet their voice is too small to be heard by others. Even assuming Frank Braun also doesn't care about the environment, the editor provides no evidence to show that Ann Green will care. Even if she cares, her membership of the Good Earth Coalition does not guarantee that she has the ability to actually solve environmental problems. The editor draws the conclusion too hastily to assert that Ann Green will be competent to do so.

Before I come to my conclusion, I also need to point out that even if Ann Green is determined to solve environmental problems in Clearview and has the ability to do so, the editor fails to consider other qualities a mayor should possess to qualify for this job and assumed caring about the environemtn is the only factor people should concern when electing a major. A mayor should also care about the economic, political and social problems of the town, such as how to lower unemployment rate, and so on.

To sum up, the editor fails to substantiate his claim that residents in Clearview should vote for Ann Green instead of Frank Braun. To make the argument more convincing, the editor should would have to provide more information to prove that the current council is not protecting the environment and that Ann Green will be willing and capable to deal with these problems. To better assess the recommendation made by the editor, I would also need to know that Ann Green demonstrate other excellent abilities and skills to deal with other problems and that she is the best choices among the other candidates. Therefore, if the editor had included the given factors discussed above, I would be more convinced to elect Ann Green, if I were a resident of Clearview.

附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号？立即注册

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

使用道具举报

yesrush
UID: 2443769

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 0
寄托币: 372
注册时间: 2008-1-1
精华: 0
帖子: 0

板凳

发表于 2009-8-4 15:07:53 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 yesrush 于 2009-8-5 10:41 编辑

TOPIC: ARGUMENT7 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Clearview newspaper.

"In the next mayoral election, residents of Clearview should vote for Ann Green, who is a member of the Good Earth Coalition, rather than for Frank Braun, a member of the Clearview town council, because the current members are not protecting our environment. For example, during the past year the number of factories in Clearview has doubled, air pollution levels have increased, and the local hospital has treated 25 percent more patients with respiratory illnesses. If we elect Ann Green, the environmental problems in Clearview will certainly be solved."
WORDS: 503 TIME: 00:33:00 DATE: 2009-8-4 14:36:34

By referring to the Clearview, a town where the number of factories has doubled and 25 percent more patient with respiratory illness treated in the local hospital, the author concludes that it is rather Ann Green, a member of the Good Earth Coalition, than Frank Braun, a member of the Clearview town council should be voted as the mayor in Clearview. The information above seems to sound at the first glance, however, the author fails to consider other factors to evaluate the situation.

To begin with, the author unfairly equals 25 percent more patients with respiratory illness who are treated in the Clearview's hospital to the serious environmental problems in Clearview. Other factors may explains the increasing number of patients with respiratory illness. It is possible that for a long time most of them are addicted to smoke so much that smoking brings potential threat to their respiratory system. The author also neglects the possibility that the major patients treated in the local hospital of Clearview is from other cities, since this hospital have some professional and experienced doctors who are expert at healing the respiratory illnesses, and consequently other cities' patients suffering from the respiratory illness come to this hospital. Without rolling our above factors, I can not accept the conclusion that there is an environmental problems in Clearview.

Even if Clearview suffers the environmental problems, I can not agree with the conclusion made by the author that this problem is attributable to Frank Braun. Perhaps the living experience in Clearview gives Frank Braun the strong willing to improve the environmental condition of this city. At his early stage of childhood, perhaps his parents and some friends do not have a good health due to the dirty air and water in Clearview. When he grows up, he selects the environment protection as his major when he comes to college, and during four years in college, he pursues the course of study to the best of his ability, wishing that he can make some contributions to his hometown's environmental issue one day. Taking these into considerations, Frank Brawn may be the proper person to be selected as the mayor in Clearview to solve the environmental problems.

What's more, the author unfairly assumes that Ann Green is the right person who has the ability to solve the environmental problems only because he is the member of the Good Eeath Colaition. However, does he have enough power in the Good Earth Colation to close the factories which outputs the waste in Clearview? Does he have some detail and effective scenarios to solve the environmental problems? Does he continue to pay attention to the environmental problems in Clearview after he becomes the mayor? Lacking such evidence, I can not accept that Ann Green can solve environmental problems.

To sum up, the argument suffers from several fallacies. To bolster the argument, the author must provide us more evidence about Clearview. To better access the argument, the author should present more information about these two applicants.

附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号？立即注册

使用道具举报

shevava
UID: 2574709

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 9
寄托币: 664
注册时间: 2008-11-22
精华: 0
帖子: 5

地板

发表于 2009-8-4 16:45:56 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 shevava 于 2009-8-4 17:25 编辑

TOPIC: ARGUMENT7 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Clearview newspaper.

"In the next mayoral election, residents of Clearview should vote for Ann Green, who is a member of the Good Earth Coalition, rather than for Frank Braun, a member of the Clearview town council, because the current members are not protecting our environment. For example, during the past year the number of factories in Clearview has doubled, air pollution levels have increased, and the local hospital has treated 25 percent more patients with respiratory illnesses. If we elect Ann Green, the environmental problems in Clearview will certainly be solved."

Assuming that Ann Green , a member of the Good Earth Coalition, was elected the mayor, the environmental problems would be solved. To make the argument more convincing, the arguer presents many evidences in order to prove the other candidate would not make good access to the environmental problem. However, what the arguer determines from is that Frank Braun, the other candidate, is a member of the Clearview town council, whose current members are not protecting our environment. Obviously, through scientific scrutiny and analysis, logical flaws are contained.

The arguer failed to consider the possible alternatives of the fact that air pollutions have increased, and more patients with respiratory illness were treated in the local hospital. It is possible that the sharp increase of the amount of cars caused the air pollution problem. Worsely, the harmful gas brought by the burning oil into the air not only polluted the air, but also do great harm to the health of local people. Additionally, maybe with the new better medicine infrastructure and famous doctor of respiratory illness, more patients from other places came for better treatment. Furthermore, factories in Clearview, whose number doubled, probably are not the main cause of pollution, if they were equipped with equipment for environment protection. Reversely, it can make contribution to the development of the local economy.

Even if the environment problems are arisen by the doubtful decision of the Clear town council to build so many factories, there is not enough evidence provided to substantiate that Frank Braun was on the side. As we all know, the final decision need to be agreed with by the majority of the council before taken into act. What part did Frank Braun play during the process? How much did his advices weigh? These are all open to doubt.

Even assuming that Frank Braun is not protecting our environment, Ann Green, a member of the Good Earth Coalition, cannot be promised to be a voter of environment protection. The mere fact that Green is a member of The Good Earth Coalition hardly suffices to prove his/her willingness and ability to help solve Clearview’s environmental problems. As in reference to the pursuit of political feat, he may also greatly motivate economical development.

Overall, before the next mayoral election, residents of Clearview need more information about the two candidates, such as what will they do if they are selected, what are the concrete measures, how do these measure take effect, and so on. To make the argument more convincing and logical, the editor should provide the information discussed above, so that the people cannot be misconduct.

附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号？立即注册

使用道具举报

shallwetalk1990
UID: 2507431

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 16
寄托币: 778
注册时间: 2008-6-23
精华: 0
帖子: 9

5楼

发表于 2009-8-4 17:17:06 |只看该作者

题目：ARGUMENT7 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Clearview newspaper.

"In the next mayoral election, residents of Clearview should vote for Ann Green, who is a member of the Good Earth Coalition, rather than for Frank Braun, a member of the Clearview town council, because the current members are not protecting our environment. For example, during the past year the number of factories in Clearview has doubled, air pollution levels have increased, and the local hospital has treated 25 percent more patients with respiratory illnesses. If we elect Ann Green, the environmental problems in Clearview will certainly be solved."
字数：505 用时：1:46:22 日期：2009-8-4

It stands reason that points in this argument should be logical, cause of its clear statement. Grounding the groups of Ann Green and Frank Braun are belong to and the pollution and the number of respiratory illnesses in Clearview last year, the editor of he Clearview newspaper appeal to residents to vote for Ann Green. However, when we have a deep thought, we will find some logical confusion.

Firstly, considering these groups Ann Green and Frank Braun in, the editor should calculate uncertain factor completely. It is no idea that what are their positions in their group, and whether the works they do in their group are significant. Without the evidence about their importance in their groups, people can't know the meaning of these group they in. Another point should be focus on, however, the editor neglect it. The group Ann Green in is called Good Earth Coalition, it seems an environmental organization. No work can be seen that are done by Good Earth Coalition, it extremely possible can't be deny that the name of this organization looks environmental, and the work they do are contrast on their name.

Secondly, in spite of the questions of their group and their work in it, the argument of pollution and respiratory illnesses are reasonable. In this letter, it's said that the number of factories in Clearview has doubled; however, this report are weakly connection with the increasing level of air pollution. Several different reasons cause the air pollution, the number of factories can't the mainly reason, or it may have no relation with air pollution. The rising number of respiratory illnesses can't be evidence to prove the seriousness of pollution, the editor falsely assumes that air pollution must attribute to this illness. The infection probably be the reason of the respiratory illnesses' increasing number, the absent information make the argument questionable. Even if all information motioned in this argument is related with pollution, it still can't indicate that Clearview town council cause it, needless to say that Frank Braun is culprits of this phenomenon.

Finally, the author incorrectly makes ability of control environment key factor of mayoral election. As a mayor of one town, he/she can't be only concern with environment; more affairs about the interest of citizens should be cared. In Clearview, the pollution problem may be inessential all the time, however, the economy may not. Pay more attentions to the development of economy can assist residents of Clearview live a better life. The experience of these two candidates weren't involved in this letter; people share little information of their job on what residents are focuses on.

Overall, the editor did apply himself into his/her work, while at the same time he was making lots of logical mistake to mislead citizens who had seen this letter in Clearview newspaper. As a responsible reporter, he should make more work on the job these two candidates did instead of only staring at the environmental problem. At last, his conclusion shouldn't be accepted; however, his work should be accepted.

今天第一次突破500 一篇argu被我整成了issue~~~

华丽丽的梦想不是用来看的而是用来做的开始吧！

使用道具举报

shallwetalk1990
UID: 2507431

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 16
寄托币: 778
注册时间: 2008-6-23
精华: 0
帖子: 9

6楼

发表于 2009-8-5 14:34:53 |只看该作者

Assuming that Ann Green , a member of the Good Earth Coalition, was elected the mayor,这句话语法有错误 was elected to be 而且现在不该用was 还没选出来 the environmental problems would be solved. 主谓不一致谁假设环境问题？ To make the argument more convincing, the arguer presents many evidences in order to prove the other candidate would not make good access to the environmental problem. However, what the arguer determines from is that Frank Braun, the other candidate, is a member of the Clearview town council, whose current members are not protecting our environment. Obviously, through scientific scrutiny and analysis, logical flaws are contained.

The arguer failed to consider the possible alternatives of the fact that air pollutions have increased, and more patients with respiratory illness were treated in the local hospital. It is possible that the sharp increase of the amount of cars caused the air pollution problem. Worsely, the harmful gas brought by the burning oil into the air not only polluted the air, but also do great harm to the health of local people. 这么说不还是环境问题吗如果是环境问题人家arguer就有理由了不能这么说最好把这个病的增多说成别的原因 Additionally, maybe with the new better medicine infrastructure and famous doctor of respiratory illness, more patients from other places came for better treatment. Furthermore, factories in Clearview, whose number doubled, probably are not the main cause of pollution, if they were equipped with equipment for environment protection. Reversely, it can make contribution to the development of the local economy.

Even if the environment problems are arisen by the doubtful decision of the Clear town council to build so many factories, there is not enough evidence provided to substantiate that Frank Braun was on the side. As we all know, the final decision need to be agreed with by the majority of the council before taken into act. What part did Frank Braun play during the process? How much did his advices weigh? These are all open to doubt.

Even assuming that Frank Braun is not protecting our environment, Ann Green, a member of the Good Earth Coalition, cannot be promised to be a voter of environment protection. The mere fact that Green is a member of The Good Earth Coalition hardly suffices to prove his/her willingness and ability to help solve Clearview’s environmental problems. As in reference to the pursuit of political feat, he may also greatly motivate economical development.他们两个分别在自己组织里的功劳可以放在一起说这么分别说其实是一个意思有点乱

Overall, before the next mayoral election, residents of Clearview need more information about the two candidates, such as what will they do if they are selected, what are the concrete measures, how do these measure take effect, and so on. To make the argument more convincing and logical, the editor should provide the information discussed above, so that the people cannot be misconduct. 最后这部分还好

我一直都觉得你的文字很流畅就是逻辑有点没有条理再看看斑竹一些说argu的帖子很有启发要成为树状or链状的思维让步让步再让步
4# shevava

华丽丽的梦想不是用来看的而是用来做的开始吧！

使用道具举报