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[优秀习作] Issue111 [复制链接]

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发表于 2003-6-25 18:35:48 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Issue 111: The worldwide distribution of television programs and advertisements is seriously diminishing the differences among cultures.

Syllabus:  Position: Agree, but point out it is the success of several cultures
A: Some main cultures’ influence
B: Some other cultures become obscure
C: It is important to remain the diversification of cultures

I strongly agree that the worldwide distribution of television programs and advertisements is seriously diminishing the difference among cultures. And I would claim especially that to a great extent, the declined difference among culture is the ecumenical success of several cultures, rather than diverse cultures influent each other.
           
It is apparently that those countries, that have ability to export a great amount of television programs and advertisements, are the winners of the global television campaign. As a result, the cultures of these countries often become the most prevailing cultures all around world. Through appealing plots, alluring images and attractive words, the cultures, sold by television programs and advertisement, is infused into audiences' head, and then become their subconscious. Consider the fashion words of adolescent in China, Hollywood, Britney Spears, snack culture and Benz those keywords flood in their minds. They believe the culture, which revealed on television, is the representation of advanced and ideal life. Television programs and advertisements are the carrier of culture, and as they become popular in more and more countries, the culture they carry turn into the dominant one in those countries.
           
At the same time, some kinds of culture become the victims of the contribution of television programs and advertisements. People believe that those cultures are out of date, and even not merit. Young people in China often think that the Chinese traditional culture is over-conservative and fall behind the times. Some forms of Chinese traditional, such as Beijing opera, have a little influence in youngster. Their favorites are those that appear on television every day, such as pop music, rock music, etc. Consequently, without effective conservation, those kinds of culture may fall into oblivion and ultimately disappear in the country or area in where they came into being and prospered.
           
It is important to remain the diversification of cultures. The diversification, which makes the world not monotonic, is the most important legacy of ancestor of human beings. To conserve different cultures, anthropologists and historians have made great effort. But without the help of media, their effort has a little influence. As the most effective media, Television programs and advertisements can be useful tools to conserve the cultures that are not in dominant places. By consistently propagandas and diverse interesting programs, those cultures can impart more influence not only on local people, but also on foreign people. It is possible that after years of continuous effort, all kinds of extant cultures can co-exist and remain their own characters.
           
To sum up, the fact, that the difference among cultures is seriously diminished by the worldwide spread of television programs and advertisements, is apparently. But the decline in difference among cultures does not mean that cultures influent each other, but is the result of several cultures. To remain the diversification of cultures in world, television can also become a useful tool.
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Aries白羊座 荣誉版主

沙发
发表于 2003-6-26 06:23:07 |只看该作者
I strongly agree that the worldwide distribution of television programs and advertisements is seriously diminishing the difference among cultures. And I would claim especially that to a great extent, the declined difference among culture is the ecumenical success of several cultures, rather than(rather than后面应该跟名词性短语,不能跟句子) diverse cultures influent each other.

It is apparently(ly应该去掉,放句首的都不会这样的) that those countries, that have ability to export a great amount of television programs and advertisements, are the winners of the global television campaign. As a result, the cultures of these countries often become the most prevailing cultures all around(少冠词) world. Through(though后面应该跟句子而不是名词性短语,稍做修改即可) appealing plots, alluring images and attractive words, the cultures, sold by television programs and advertisement, is infused into audiences' head, and then become their subconscious(这是形容词). Consider the fashion(应是fashionable) words of adolescent in China(chinese adolescent即可), Hollywood, Britney Spears, snack culture and Benz(此处少句号,否则一句话中有两个动词) those keywords flood in their minds. They believe the culture, which revealed on television, is the representation(应是represents,两词意思不同) of advanced and ideal life. Television programs and advertisements are the carrier of culture, and as they become popular in more and more countries, the culture they carry turn into the dominant one in those countries. (最后这句还可以挖掘得深一点,其实carrier of culture,更准确地说是媒体语言和信息的暴力,不单单是广告和电视,这二者是典型代表而已。关于这方面,很多文献有论述,你可以随便搜索一下)

At the same time, some kinds of culture become the victims of the contribution of television programs and advertisements. People believe that those cultures are out of date, and even not merit. Young people in China often think that the Chinese traditional culture is over-conservative and fall behind the times. Some forms of Chinese traditional, such as Beijing opera, have a little influence in youngster. Their favorites are those that appear on television every day, such as pop music, rock music, etc. Consequently, without effective conservation, those kinds of culture may fall into oblivion and ultimately disappear in the country or area in where they came into being and prospered.

It is important to remain the diversification of cultures. The diversification, which makes the world not monotonic, is the most important legacy of ancestor of human beings. To conserve different cultures, anthropologists and historians have made great effort. But without the help of media, their effort has a little influence. As the most effective media, Television programs and advertisements can be useful tools to conserve the cultures that are not in dominant places. By consistently propagandas and diverse interesting programs, those cultures can impart more influence not only on local people, but also on foreign people. It is possible that after years of continuous effort, all kinds of extant cultures can co-exist and remain their own characters.

To sum up, the fact, that the difference among cultures is seriously diminished by the worldwide spread of television programs and advertisements, is apparently(应是apparent,因为该此修饰fact). But the decline(应是declination) in difference among cultures does not mean that cultures influent(这个词的意思是"支流",应是influence) each other, but is the result of several cultures. To remain the diversification of cultures in world, television can also become a useful tool.



立意和论说上写得非常好! 我非常认同. 有相当的深度。
可是语言上就比较poor了。太多不该错的地方拉. 你可要好好注意一下!


希望你也能多多修改其他朋友的文章。如果觉得自己的英文还不是特别好,那么不一定要改他们的词句, 提点结构上和想法上的建议也是好的。因为你不可能每个题目都练过来啊,看别人的题目,自己脑子过一遍,既可以给别人提建议,自己又多了一次训练的机会.为别人服务的人优先得到斑竹的修改哦!
UA
我说人生哪,如果赏过一回痛哭淋漓的风景,写一篇杜鹃啼血的文章,与一个赏心悦目的人错肩,也就够了。不要收藏美、钤印美,让美随风而逝。生命最清醉的时候,是将万里长江视为一匹白绢,裂帛。(简桢)

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板凳
发表于 2003-6-26 16:35:42 |只看该作者
I strongly agree that the worldwide distribution of television programs and advertisements is seriously diminishing the difference among cultures. And I would claim especially that to a great extent, the declined difference among culture is the ecumenical success of several cultures, rather than diverse cultures influent each other.

It is apparently(apparent) that those countries, that have ability to export a great amount( number)of television programs and advertisements, are the winners of the global television campaign. As a result, the cultures of these countries often become the most prevailing cultures all around world. Through appealing plots, alluring images and attractive words, the cultures, sold by television programs and advertisement, is infused into audiences' head, and then become their subconscious. Consider the fashion words of adolescent in China, Hollywood, Britney Spears, snack culture and Benz those keywords flood in their minds. They believe the culture, which revealed on television, is the representation of advanced and ideal life. Television programs and advertisements are the carrier of culture, and as they become popular in more and more countries, the culture they carry turn into the dominant one in those countries.

At the same time, some kinds of culture become the victims of the contribution of television programs and advertisements. People believe that those cultures are out of date, and even not merit. Young people in China often think that the Chinese traditional culture is over-conservative and fall behind the times. Some forms of Chinese traditional, such as Beijing opera, have a little influence in youngster. Their favorites are those that appear on television every day, such as pop music, rock music, etc. Consequently, without effective conservation, those kinds of culture may fall into oblivion and ultimately disappear in the country or area in where they came into being and prospered.

It is important to remain( remain这样用似乎不妥当)the diversification of cultures. The diversification, which makes the world not monotonic, is the most important legacy of ancestor of human beings. To conserve different cultures, anthropologists and historians have made great effort. But without the help of media, their effort has a little influence. As the most effective media, Television programs and advertisements can be useful tools to conserve the cultures that are not in dominant places. By consistently propagandas and diverse interesting programs, those cultures can impart more influence not only on local people,  also on foreign people. It is possible that after years of continuous effort, all kinds of extant cultures can co-exist and remain their own characters.

To sum up, the fact, that the difference among cultures is seriously diminished by the worldwide spread of television programs and advertisements, is apparently. But the decline in difference among cultures does not mean that cultures influent each other, but is the result of several cultures. To remain the diversification of cultures in world, television can also become a useful tool.
我觉得你的文章写的挺不错,思路清晰,只是请注意用词准确.还得请斑竹看看!
Try our best!

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Aries白羊座 荣誉版主

地板
发表于 2003-6-26 18:40:31 |只看该作者
哈哈,和荧荧撞车了。同时批改的呢:)
UA
我说人生哪,如果赏过一回痛哭淋漓的风景,写一篇杜鹃啼血的文章,与一个赏心悦目的人错肩,也就够了。不要收藏美、钤印美,让美随风而逝。生命最清醉的时候,是将万里长江视为一匹白绢,裂帛。(简桢)

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发表于 2003-6-26 19:02:15 |只看该作者
非常感谢两位,我太高兴了,贴之前犹豫了好久,这篇Issue是我闷头想了大半天的结果,写完之后自己很没有信心。

To paisley: 第一段的最后一句改为这样可以么:And I would claim especially that to a great extent, the declined difference among culture is the ecumenical success of several cultures, rather than the result of cultures'   interaction.
                     
Through appealing....改为By applealing.....
                     
subconscious有名词词性呀,不过应该是用subconsciousness更好
   
To 荧荧:remain改为keep可以么?

再次感谢二位,也祝大家能够共同进步!

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Aries白羊座 荣誉版主

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发表于 2003-6-26 19:06:12 |只看该作者
行,这样改可以:)

别忘了多给别人也提提意见。
UA
我说人生哪,如果赏过一回痛哭淋漓的风景,写一篇杜鹃啼血的文章,与一个赏心悦目的人错肩,也就够了。不要收藏美、钤印美,让美随风而逝。生命最清醉的时候,是将万里长江视为一匹白绢,裂帛。(简桢)

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发表于 2003-6-26 19:16:12 |只看该作者
收到~~:)

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