Uranus1989's writing

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

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s499992008UID: 2688967

The public transportation is perhaps the most fundamental facility in a country and ever since the policy of the free medical insurance has been carried out in many countries, there is a heated topic with sharply soaring volume about the free public transportation. However, personally, I disagree with this statement.& ^$ n7 n5 `5 Z  n- Y6 X
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To start off, the charge for the public transportation is not unaffordable to many people. That is（这少东西吧）, most of the public can afford the expenses in the public transportation. For example, in Briton, the subway will only cost you a few pennies and most of the families can afford this expense with no great difficulty. Besides, the administrators in charge of the subway also launch many favor policies for the poverty, the disabled and the older. These policies can protect the society vulnerable groups from failing to pay for the expenses of the public transportation. Therefore, the income combined with（这总感觉不对劲那） the favor policies make the public transportation accessible to the majority. It seems to be unnecessary for the government to cancel the charge of the public transportation.$ c& v; X0 l) p& J8 R5 y3 B. G
Furthermore,the charge will contribute to the improvement of the public transportation.Everyday, huge amount of（换成a fair portion of 会更好） people will take the public transportation to go work,attend class or go shopping and this will cause great pressure to the public transportation. Therefore（这应该是转折吧）, the public transportation should hire lots of people to keep buses, subways or train operating normally. If the expenses for maintaining the public transportation are balanced by the government, it is entirely likely that the government will still “exploit” its people to hand in（这个词用的不好。。。可我自己水平有限又找不到好词。我想到一个ask for） more tax. In the other words, it is still the public themselves who pay their bills(好中式). Or perhaps, if the government chooses not to balance this expense, it is likely（刚才已经用过了。。换成perhaps） that the public transportation will no longer have enough capital to operate its system. In this way, the subway will become dirty and obsolete because the subway fails to hire enough cleaners. In addition, the bus will probably become less safe because the company of the bus cannot afford the reliable drivers. Therefore, the quality of the public transportation will be spoiled and in return this will deteriorate the daily life of the public. It is worthwhile to spend a little money to enjoy a higher standard of the public transportation.（结论有点牵强吧）

In a nutshell, since the expense at （on）the public transportation is not unacceptable and the high standard of the public transportation will enhance our quality of life, paying the bills of the public transportation will be a better choice.
字数太少了吧。。。。。。。。

annkeUID: 2605122

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should not pay tothe public transportation.
v# x: d* T* k% ^# q' Z

The public transportation is perhaps the most fundamental facility in a country and ever since the policy of the free medical insurance has been carried out in many countries, there is a heated topic with sharply soaring volume about the free public transportation. However, personally, I disagree with this statement.4 H% b1 B9 D/ o/ `

To start off（start with 更常见）, the charge for the public transportation is not unaffordable to many people（charge is unaffordable,这个表达很中式啊。charge is high/ reasonable,Starbucks is a barely affordable luxury,可见affordable 是针对物的。 ）. That is, most of the public can afford the expenses in the public transportation. For example, in Briton, the subway will only cost you a few pennies and most of the families can afford this expense with no great difficulty. Besides, the administrators in charge of the subway also launch many favor policies for the poverty, the disabled and the older下划线的表达有问题，lauch policy, favor是名词，有利的政策这能说favorable policies the poor, older缺少参照. These policies can protect the society vulnerable groups from failing to pay for the expenses of the public transportation(the vulnerable groups of society,或the society's vulnerable groups, 后者不正规). Therefore, the income combined with the favor policies make the public transportation accessible to the majority.(如果前一个combine是后置定语，那么整句主语就只是 the income, 这和作者强调收入和政策相结合的观点矛盾，且make应该是makes；如果是强调两者，应该用combing, or, the combination of the income and the favorable policies make。。) It seems to be unnecessary for the government to cancel the charge of the public transportation. 买得起就不应该免费，为什么呢？这个论点我觉得站不住脚，作者应该进一步发展。

Furthermore,the charge will contribute to the improvement of the public transportation.Everyday, huge amount of people will take the public transportation to go work,attend class or go shopping and this（those） will cause great pressure to(on) the public transportation. Therefore, the public transportation should hire lots of people to keep buses, subways or train operating normally. If the expenses for maintaining the public transportation are balanced by the government, it is entirely likely ( extremely, highly, very这几个表达更地道，完全有可能，不是直接翻译啊) that the government will still “exploit” its people to hand in more tax. In the other words, it is still the public themselves who pay their bills. Or perhaps, if the government chooses not to balance this expense, it is likely that the public transportation will no longer have enough capital to operate its system. In this way, the subway will become dirty and obsolete because the subway fails to hire enough cleaners. In addition, the bus will probably become less safe because the company of the bus cannot afford the reliable drivers. Therefore, the quality of the public transportation will be spoiled and in return this will deteriorate the daily life of the public. It is worthwhile to spend a little money to enjoy a higher standard of the public transportation.整段论证都是观点的罗列，没有层次感，并且观点和题目之间的关系没有清楚表达。

In a nutshell, since the expense at the public transportation is not unacceptable and the high standard of the public transportation will enhance our quality of life, paying the bills of the public transportation will be a better choice.

作者很大地一个毛病是堆砌“大词”，完全不顾其特定的用法和搭配，语言十分中式。建议作者丢开那些辞藻，自己思路清晰地论证每一个问题，同时，多读多仿写地道的文章，重视语法，培养语感。加油！

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

3.9. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should not pay tothe public transportation.
21:33:59
The public transportation is perhaps the most fundamental facility in a country and ever since the policy of the free medical insurance has been carried out in many countries, there is a heated topic with sharply soaring volume about the free public transportation. However, personally, I disagree with this statement.

To start off, the charge for the public transportation is not unaffordable to many people. That is, most of the public can afford the expenses in the public transportation. For example, in Briton, the subway will only cost you a few pennies and most of the families can afford this expense with no great difficulty. Besides, the administrators in charge of the subway also launch many favor policies for the poverty, the disabled and the older. These policies can protect the society vulnerable groups from failing to pay for the expenses of the public transportation. Therefore, the income combined with the favor policies make the public transportation accessible to the majority. It seems to be unnecessary for the government to cancel the charge of the public transportation.
Furthermore,the charge will contribute to the improvement of the public transportation.Everyday, huge amount of people will take the public transportation to go work,attend class or go shopping and this will cause great pressure to the public transportation. Therefore, the public transportation should hire lots of people to keep buses, subways or train operating normally. If the expenses for maintaining the public transportation are balanced by the government, it is entirely likely that the government will still “exploit” its people to hand in more tax. In the other words, it is still the public themselves who pay their bills. Or perhaps, if the government chooses not to balance this expense, it is likely that the public transportation will no longer have enough capital to operate its system. In this way, the subway will become dirty and obsolete because the subway fails to hire enough cleaners. In addition, the bus will probably become less safe because the company of the bus cannot afford the reliable drivers. Therefore, the quality of the public transportation will be spoiled and in return this will deteriorate the daily life of the public. It is worthwhile to spend a little money to enjoy a higher standard of the public transportation.

In a nutshell, since the expense at the public transportation is not unacceptable and the high standard of the public transportation will enhance our quality of life, paying the bills of the public transportation will be a better choice.

zhangwen08UID: 2713418

修改的作文

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

3.7Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Visiting museums is the best way to learn about a country.
22:24:39
Visiting museum can virtually benefit you a lot in understanding the culture or the people of the country. The pictures of the past exhibited in the museum canshow you a vivid story of the history while some articles from the past will inform you of the lives of the folks. However, the history will only depict part picture of the country’s culture. Therefore, I disagree with that visiting museum is the best way to learn about a country.

To start off, the major content of the museum is concerned about the past. Inother words, the museum can merely show certain aspects of history to you.Therefore, it is difficult for us to have a full picture of what is happening now in this country. For example, the exhibition of the museums in some regions will include the ancestors of the people in this region, the glorious developing history and the current situation. Perhaps, someone may argue that the current situation will provide some clues about the recent events. However,in fact, this is not the case. The session about the current situation in the museum is usually dated back to a few years since the administrators will not update this information so frequently. The delaying of changing the informationis not due to the laziness of administrators. In certain sense, the reason is that these administrators deem that if you are eager to learn the current situation of this country, everywhere outside the museum will give you the most impressive and direct information.

Even though the museum can cram you with the history of this country, the outside world is ready to provide you with the most fresh and impressive knowledge about this country. For example, when you are curious about the daily life of the residents, you can wander around the narrow streets in the communities or stay for a short time in the homes of some local residents. In this way, you can have a fully comprehension of what kind of lives the local residents lead.Or perhaps you may desire to acquire some latest information about how the local business operates. In this way, you can visit the most famous banks or economic centers of the country or attend the internship of some enterprises.Therefore, you can experience their working style in the economics field. No matter what aspects you care about this country, the society can actually provide you with adequate information.

In a nutshell, the museum is far beyond enough for you to have a full comprehension of the country. The combination of the society and the museum may exhibit to you a more complete picture.

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

3.5 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become a financially responsible adult, people should be taught how to manage money atan early age.

21:47:59
With the rapid development of the mass media, the merchants seem to have more methods to advertise their commodities and on the other side the customers feel it even more difficult to endure the lure from these appealing commodities.Many financially irresponsible adults will run into the poverty since they have bought much more than they can afford. Therefore, someone may argue that we should cultivate our children at an early age to manage money in order to make them more financially responsible. Personally, I concede that this measure is appropriate and even necessary.

To start off, the ability to manage money is a necessity for any adult. For example, the salary of the white collar is not high. However, the while-collars are in the great need of money to pay their own house, daily expenses or medical insurance. If they fail to keep their own budget and just randomly purchase what they want, they will easily be pushed into the dilemma.Therefore, from this case, we can conclude that the ability to manage money is essential for the white-collars, the major constitution of the society.Furthermore, in fact, this ability will benefit everyone no matter they are rich or poor. It is quite obvious to conclude that the poor should manage their money since their earning is even less than the white-collars. However, why should the rich also need to keep a budget? The answer is that even though the rich will earn more, they still have a higher expenditure. In other words, if they fail to manage their money well, the expenditure will still exceed the income. Therefore, the ability to manage money should not only be learned by the poor and instead this ability should be learned by perhaps everyone.

Furthermore,why should we cultivate our children to learn budget at an early age? The primary reason is that beginning at an early age will let the children develop this ability into a habit. Otherwise, if our children have already been adults,their habits, their idea and their concept have already been formed. That is,it will become quite difficult for us to change their habit of using money. For example, if these children have grown up into an adults accustoming to abuse money, to instruct them to save money will be impossible because they can no longer control themselves.

However,there still exists a vague concept in this statement. That is, on earth, how old can be referred as an early age, Six years old or twelve years old? Personally, I deem that the answer will depend on different situations. The parents should take the concrete situation of the children into consideration and then decide when to teach them to manage their money.

In a nutshell, to teach the children to manage their own money at an early age is not only reasonable but even crucial. Otherwise, if the children have already developed the habit of abusing money, we may just leave ourselves to regret.
22:19:10

swbaiUID: 2600532

3.3．Doyou agree or disagree with the following statement? Some people think childrenshould study and play, other people think children should help with householdchores.

The education and leisure time for children are essential since in certain sensethey determine the future career and characteristics of the children. However,the household chores are of same significance because they will assist thechildren in realizing their responsibilities for family. Therefore, I disagreethat children should put their emphasis on either the education and playing orhousehold chores. Instead, they should learn to strike a balance between thesetwo matters.

To start off, the early education will pave the way for the children’ futurecareer. That is, the hobby cultivated in the childhood will influence thechildren greatly in their later life. For example, when Newton was still a little boy, his uncletaught him huge amount of knowledge about physics. This learning processstimulated Newtonto have a deeper comprehension of Physics and ultimately following hisinterest, he became a famous physics scientist. Perhaps, if his uncle onlyasked him to take some household chores, Newtonwould never achieve his great success. Therefore, the early education is vitalfor the children’s growth.

Furthermore,even though some earnest parents may regard playing as a waste of time, playingdoes have its indispensable role in the growth of children. For example,playing will influence the children’ characteristics in a great measure.According to a recent survey, it is likely that the children with less or noleisure time will become more introverted when they grow up than those withmore leisure time in their childhood. The reason lying behind this phenomenonis that since they have less playing time, they may tend to have feweropportunities to communicate with each other and sometimes they even have noidea of how to get along with others. Therefore, they will feel it difficult tofit into this world. From this concrete case, we can easily conclude thatplaying is a crucial matter in the childhood instead of a trivial and meaninglessmatter.

Last but not least, household chores will make the children realize their responsibilityof the family. In other words, from doing household chores, children canunderstand that they should not only enjoy the care from the family members. Instead,they should also participate in the family and do their utmost to make thisfamily better.

In anutshell, education, playing and doing household chores are severalindispensable parts of the childhood. Eliminating any one of them will make thechildhood incomplete and this will have unpredictable influence on thechildren.


LZ的文章写得很好，就是里面套用了很多模板，我觉得反而把你要表达的意思给掩盖了

爱烤鱼的小伙UID: 2580692

The education and leisure time for children are essential since in certain sense (that) they determine the future career and characteristics of the children. However, the household chores are of same significance because they will assist the(这个the可以去掉) children in realizing their responsibilities for family. Therefore, I disagree（应该使用disagree with的搭配） that children should put their emphasis on either the education and playing or household chores. Instead, they should learn to strike a balance between these two matters.- {0 @  [+ Z5 S
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To start off, the early education will pave the way for the children’s（这里的s还是要加上吧？） future career. That is, the hobby cultivated in the childhood will influence the children greatly in their later life. For example, when Newton was still a little boy, his uncle taught him huge amount of knowledge about physics. This learning process stimulated Newton to have a deeper comprehension of Physics and ultimately following his interest, he became a famous physics scientist. Perhaps, if his uncle only asked him to take some household chores, Newton would never achieve his great success. Therefore, the early education is vital for the children’s growth.; n0 x" Z* x1 g+ F

Furthermore, even though some earnest parents may regard playing as a waste of time, playing does have its indispensable role in the growth of children. For example, playing will influence the children’ characteristics（查了下金山词霸，characteristics指的是特征，特性，而表示性格什么的是不是用character比较好？我个人的一点意见，如果不对的话欢迎指出） in a great measure. According to a recent survey, it is likely that the children with less or no leisure time will become more introverted when they grow up than those with more leisure time in their childhood. The reason lying behind this phenomenon is that since they have less playing time, they may tend to have fewer opportunities to communicate with each other and sometimes they even have no idea of how to get along with others. Therefore, they will feel it difficult to fit into this world. From this concrete case, we can easily conclude that playing is a crucial matter in the childhood instead of a trivial and meaningless matter.5 w+ p' ]; g: ?- K
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Last but not least, household chores will make the children realize their responsibility of the family. In other words, from doing household chores, children can understand that they should not only enjoy the care from the family members. Instead, they should also participate in the family and do their utmost to make this family better. 2 I; x2 W0 n) D% o
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In anutshell（这个词是？原谅我看不出来……）, education, playing and doing household chores are several indispensable parts of the childhood. Eliminating any one of them will make the childhood incomplete and this will have unpredictable influence on the children.
楼主的文章写得不错，语言很流利，还考虑了句式的变换。文章各个论据的提出和段落的展开都做得很好，没有什么大的错误可以挑。不知道楼主写作文的时候是不是限时模考时间比较紧所以顾不上注意空格什么的，但是还是建议楼主在写完文章之后检查一下，毕竟从那么多连在一起的字母中分辨一个个单词还是有点累的。呵呵O(∩_∩)O~

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

#41
swbai
晕。。。我也刚发现我这个毛病，昨天竟然晕菜了有的没空行

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

3.3．Doyou agree or disagree with the following statement? Some people think childrenshould study and play, other people think children should help with householdchores.
23:10:56
Theeducation and leisure time for children are essential since in certain sensethey determine the future career and characteristics of the children. However,the household chores are of same significance because they will assist thechildren in realizing their responsibilities for family. Therefore, I disagreethat children should put their emphasis on either the education and playing orhousehold chores. Instead, they should learn to strike a balance between thesetwo matters.

Tostart off, the early education will pave the way for the children’ futurecareer. That is, the hobby cultivated in the childhood will influence thechildren greatly in their later life. For example, when Newton was still a little boy, his uncletaught him huge amount of knowledge about physics. This learning processstimulated Newtonto have a deeper comprehension of Physics and ultimately following hisinterest, he became a famous physics scientist. Perhaps, if his uncle onlyasked him to take some household chores, Newtonwould never achieve his great success. Therefore, the early education is vitalfor the children’s growth.

Furthermore,even though some earnest parents may regard playing as a waste of time, playingdoes have its indispensable role in the growth of children. For example,playing will influence the children’ characteristics in a great measure.According to a recent survey, it is likely that the children with less or noleisure time will become more introverted when they grow up than those withmore leisure time in their childhood. The reason lying behind this phenomenonis that since they have less playing time, they may tend to have feweropportunities to communicate with each other and sometimes they even have noidea of how to get along with others. Therefore, they will feel it difficult tofit into this world. From this concrete case, we can easily conclude thatplaying is a crucial matter in the childhood instead of a trivial and meaninglessmatter.

Lastbut not least, household chores will make the children realize their responsibilityof the family. In other words, from doing household chores, children canunderstand that they should not only enjoy the care from the family members. Instead,they should also participate in the family and do their utmost to make thisfamily better.

In anutshell, education, playing and doing household chores are severalindispensable parts of the childhood. Eliminating any one of them will make thechildhood incomplete and this will have unpredictable influence on thechildren.

swbaiUID: 2600532

The swift development of our society fastens our pace as well. It seems that we have huge amount of things to finish with little time left. To be capable of planning and organizing becomes essential for the young people. Therefore, I agree with the statement that the ability to plan and organize is a necessity.

start off, appropriate plan and organization can assist us in saving our time and thus becoming more efficiently. For example, the traffic jam will always keep us waiting in the bus and many people may just wait for the slow moving of the bus with nothing to do. However, if we can make the most of this time to recite some English words, read a book and so on, after an entire year, it is likely that we will improve our literature standard or become more proficient with many English words. In other words, we save the time of waiting and"recycle" it to master some useful skills. After a long period of persistence, this scattering time will ultimately makeup for a big attainment.

Besides,scientific plan will give us an aid to fulfill our ambition. That is,sometimes, our dreams seem to be so impractical and difficult to realize.However, they can virtually come true if we can make a detailed plan. Forexample, Clinton dreamed of becoming thepresident of Americawhen he was still a little boy. Nevertheless, instead of just daydreaming, hemade a detailed plan for achieving this goal. This plan included whichuniversity he should join in order to receive a better education, which majorhe should attend in order to take part in the politics and so on. He earnestlyfollowed his plan and therefore he demonstrated a big success for the public.Since our society has already developed into such a complex one, even thesimplest affairs will still require us to take a few steps to finish. Then,when it comes to the more complicated matters, without a detailed plan, how canthe young people successfully complete them?!

Lastbut not least, the rare sources also make it an indispensable ability to planand organize. For example, perhaps, the most limited source for the youngpeople is money since they just begin to earn their salary. If they are notgood at organizing such as dealing with their budget, they may easily be pushedinto a dilemma.

In anutshell, for the young people, the ability to plan and organize is anessential ability for the survival in the society.
LZ套用的模板很多，这可能是个硬伤.另外，单词之间没空行，让人很难阅读

ivybettyUID: 2328308

The swift development of our society fastens our pace as well. It seems that we have huge amount of things to finish with little time left. To be capable of planning and organizing becomes essential for the young people. Therefore, I agree with the statement that the ability to plan and organize is a necessity.很明确

To start off, appropriate plan and organization can assist us in saving our time and thus becoming more efficiently(efficient?become后是形容词吧?). For example, the traffic jam will always keep us waiting in the bus and many people may just wait for the slow moving of the bus with nothing to do. However, if we can make the most of this time to recite some English words, read a book and so on, after an entire year, it is likely that we will improve our literature standard(有点中文色彩) or become more proficient with(固定搭配应该是be/become proficient in) many English words. In other words, we save the time of waiting and"recycle" it to master some useful skills. After a long period of persistence, this scattering time will ultimately make(被动语态be made?) up for a big attainment.

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Besides,scientific plan will give us an aid to fulfill our ambition. That is,sometimes, our dreams seem to be so impractical and difficult to realize.However, they can virtually come true if we can make a detailed plan. Forexample, Clinton dreamed of becoming thepresident of Americawhen he was still a little boy. Nevertheless, instead of just daydreaming, hemade a detailed plan for achieving this goal. This plan included whichuniversity he should join in order to receive a better education, which majorhe should attend in order to take part in the politics and so on. He earnestlyfollowed his plan and therefore he demonstrated a big success for the public.Since our society has already developed into such a complex one, even thesimplest affairs will still require us to take a few steps to finish. Then,when it comes to the more complicated matters, without a detailed plan, how canthe young people successfully complete them?! x* T) n4 V7 J; |2 T

Lastbut not least, the rare sources also make it an indispensable ability to planand organize. For example, perhaps, the most limited source for the youngpeople is money since they just begin to earn their salary. If they are notgood at organizing such as dealing with their budget, they may easily be pushedinto a dilemma.8 c! Z  V3 i( C# I, v
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In anutshell, for the young people, the ability to plan and organize is anessential ability for the survival in the society.
LZ一如既往妙语连珠,很多小词都用的很好,学习了.
文章的排版是受到病毒侵袭还是?很多地方词与词之间没有空格,标点后也没有空格.请注意了!
这篇文章我也很纠结,觉得没办法把社会变复杂和年轻人要有好计划联合起来.LZ的一和二段有这方面的说明.但是三和四好象没有了,只是在说计划的重要性.不知我理解的对否?请指教