Post June-writing-june

junedreamjuneUID??2700743

Sometimes, if you can not say anything niceto someone, you should say nothing at all.

In communicating with others, some peoplemay believe if they cannot say anything nice to others, that they should saynothing at all. This principle, however, can lead to some negative influencesfor people's relations and communications.

First of all, if this principle is appliedin relations with your good friend, you will lose the qualification as beinghis/her true friend. It is general recognized that one key element in relationsbetween best friends is to be sincere and true. A true friend is the one whoalways tell the truth to you, even though you don't want to hear it. Sometimesyou may fear furious about their words, but one thing for sure is that youtrust and rely on them because they will not lie to you. However, if a friendonly picks up good words and praises for you, results and experiences willprove that they are not the one for you to trust totally.

If the principle is used for relationsbetween you and your boss, you may not receive the expected result in the end.Any wise boss appreciate independent and creative employees. In decision makingprocesses, what a provident employee will do is to give constructivesuggestions and raise a effective refute. If the employee only focuses onflattering and not dare to challenge the authority, s/he can hardly receive anyrespect from his/her leader. This viewpoint has been historically exemplifiedin the relations between the Tang Dynasty emperor Taizong and his loyal PrimeMinister Weizheng. Weizheng, as one of the most famous minister in Chinesehistory, are widely respected and admired for his courage to fearlessly speaktruth to the son of heaven. In regard to Tang Taizong, he also won the fame asa benevolent emperor with the virtues of appointing the best officials andbeing tolerant and impartial.
Of course, speaking is also a kind ofcommunication skills that requires more than sincerity and courage. In mattersabout what to say and how to say, you cannot be too flattering; neither can youact totally impassive. To be a mature and success individual, you also need tograsp and cultivate qualities such as consideration and sensitivity. In a word,a high EQ is also essential for the speaking skill.
In sum, speaking skills are not as simpleas saying nice words to others. This principle is prone to bring you badoutcomes. Rather than flattering, what others appreciate is true andconstructive suggestions, even though it is undeniable that a more considerateapproach will make your words more admirable.


超时了，ORZ...

694055322UID??2792795

It is undeniable that obeying others' decisions is much easier than making decisions for oneself. In my point of view, however, in most cases, the majority of people still prefer to make decision by themselves.
Every person in
society exists as a unique individual with a sense of self awareness. They have their own habitudes, preferences, and interests, which are distinctive marks to show their personality and uniqueness. Thus, except for themselves, no one else in the world would make the decisions that reflect their features(特点，特征) and inclinations. Even children prefer to make their own decisions. Despite the attentive care from their parents, children still get furious at their parents' domination and infinite intervention. Their rebellion and rudeness can be seen as an expression or outlet for their ineligibility in determining their own options.
In addition, the awareness of right, which has been acclaimed by numerous philosophers in history, has already been embodied in most people living in the modern era. Rights of liberty, property and life, remarked by Lock as three fundamentally unalienable rights for human kinds, inherently indicate that most people nowadays would no longer easily hand out themselves to be decided by others. Particularly, employers, who were described by Karl Marx in the 19th century as subject to the exploitation as silent slaves, have made a huge progress in improving their rights in self decisions. Today, by holding some sorts of stocks, most of them have a say in the companies. Furthermore, with the back up of constitution and government laws, their legal rights and freedom are further protected.
Nevertheless, some people might prefer to follow the decisions made by others, regarding it as a smart and convenient way to avoid probable risks. On the whole, most people would still like to make decisions by themselves.
评语:作者一定是个报读诗书之人，文笔不错，可是你写的句子太长，和我以前高中时候的风格很像，但是老师有批评说貌似我在炫耀玩弄考官。。。。另外，除了开头给人脉络清晰之外，其他感觉有点小凌乱。。。整体是很不错的，运用了很多高级词汇。。。。向你学习哈，请多赐教

junedreamjuneUID??2700743

7.1

KeeeeenWUID??2592937

彩色见附件。。修改模式


6.29
Successful people take new things and takerisks rather than the thing that they’ve done well.

Some people believe that successful peopleare those making innovations and progresses, while others props that only doingwhat they've done well can people succeed in the end. As far as I'm concerned,successful people not only dare to take challenges and innovations, but alsocope with what they've done well.
感觉你的首段很清晰，观点明确。


First of all, successful people are readilyto confront different challenges and risks that may occur in their lives andcareers. They clearly understand the doctrine that reservation equals toself-suicides, while taking new trials and experiments help to maintain acompetitive and energetic life. This is evident particularly for people whoventure in the Internet industry. Without creative ideas and fast updatedproducts, these entrepreneurs can hardly develop even exist in the toughlycompetitive realm. The winners of the game are those who have flexible tactic,strong creative designing ability and the guts to break away the fence and leadthe trend.



Also, successful people know theiradvantages at and have rationality to stick with what they've done well. Theyknow no one is perfect in every aspect and their success comes fromintelligence, diligence as well as self-consciousness. A person who is achampion in running, say Bolt(最好用全名，世界上还是有其他叫Bolt的), will not officiallychallenge the world best piano player, unless he is insane. Bolt is a chess(running?)champion, not only because of his talent in running, but also for his insistencein practicing on the fields. IfBlot consistently attempts（这个地方好像逻辑有点问题，这样改是不是好点) to learn new things,piano, chess, or writing, it is hard to imagine that he would break the worldrecord of running for more than once. 如果他总是东学学西学学，这让我们很难想象他可以打破跑步记录。


To sum up, the success and achievementattribute to both innovation and persistence. Successful people never retreatto what they have achieved, and make breakthroughs in what they've done well.
优秀的文章，第一个例子观点清晰，第二个例子可能写得有点急。向你学习呀～你的观点对我很有启发：成功者既要知道自己的长处，也要敢于冒险！这样好写多了

potpourriUID??2834146

Some people believe that successful peopleare those making innovations and progresses, while others props that only doingwhat they've done well can people succeed in the end. As far as I'm concerned,successful people not only dare to take challenges and innovations, but alsocope with what they've done well. " u2 _: _% F& s  k. ]0 |

First of all, successful people are readily to confront different challenges and risks that may occur in their lives andcareers. They clearly understand the doctrine that reservation equals toself-suicides, while taking new trials and experiments helps to maintain acompetitive and energetic life. This is evident particularly for(this is particularly evident in..) people whoventure in the Internet industry. Without creative ideas and fast updatedproducts, these entrepreneurs can hardly develop even exist in the toughly competitive realm(好). The winners of the game are those who have flexible tactic,strong creative designing ability and the guts to break away the fence and leadthe trend. $ h" @# ]) G- |' w

Also, successful people know theiradvantages at（is clear about what their advantages are） and have rationality to stick with what they've done well. Theyknow no one is perfect in every aspect and their success comes fromintelligence, diligence as well as self-coucsiousness. A person who is achampion in running, say Bolt, will not officially challenge the world bestpiano player, unless he is insane(这句多余，建议删掉). Bolt is a chess champion, not only becauseof his talent in running, but also for his insistence in practicing on thefields. If Bolt never ceased to try new things, piano, chess, or writing, it ishard to imagine that he would break the world record of running for more thanonce
这段的例子讲述的不是很清晰。B是象棋冠军，不仅因为运动天赋，还有勤奋努力？
最后一句也没太理解。
To sum up, the success and achievement attribute to(可以这么用？好像成功不能做主语吧) both innovation and persistence. Successful people never retreat to what they have achieved, and make breakthroughs in what they've done well.
最后一句的总结，好像没有概括两个方面。

彩色见附件

junedreamjuneUID??2700743

6.29
Successful people take new things and takerisks rather than the thing that they’ve done well.

Some people believe that successful peopleare those making innovations and progresses, while others props that only doingwhat they've done well can people succeed in the end. As far as I'm concerned,successful people not only dare to take challenges and innovations, but alsocope with what they've done well.

First of all, successful people are readilyto confront different challenges and risks that may occur in their lives andcareers. They clearly understand the doctrine that reservation equals toself-suicides, while taking new trials and experiments help to maintain acompetitive and energetic life. This is evident particularly for people whoventure in the Internet industry. Without creative ideas and fast updatedproducts, these entrepreneurs can hardly develop even exist in the toughlycompetitive realm. The winners of the game are those who have flexible tactic,strong creative designing ability and the guts to break away the fence and leadthe trend.

Also, successful people know theiradvantages at and have rationality to stick with what they've done well. Theyknow no one is perfect in every aspect and their success comes fromintelligence, diligence as well as self-coucsiousness. A person who is achampion in running, say Bolt, will not officially challenge the world bestpiano player, unless he is insane. Bolt is a chess champion, not only becauseof his talent in running, but also for his insistence in practicing on thefields. If Bolt never ceased to try new things, piano, chess, or writing, it ishard to imagine that he would break the world record of running for more thanonce.

To sum up, the success and achievementattribute to both innovation and persistence. Successful people never retreatto what they have achieved, and make breakthroughs in what they've done well.

懒人一枚UID??2838780

好文，很多值得学习的地方！

potpourriUID??2834146

The best way to learn about a foreign country is by reading newspaper or magazines.
There are many ways to understand a foreign country. We can learn about the country by spending couples of days traveling there and communicating with native people, or through reading magazines and newspaper. Nevertheless, personally I prefer to learn about a foreign country by staying there for a period of time, rather than merely reading magazines and newspaper either from the country or introducing it.
First of all, reading second-hand information from magazines and newspaper tends to present people with partial and even distorted conception about the country. Articles in magazines and newspaper, no matter prons and cons, can be influenced greatly by the position of  the critics' view. （去掉view）Even photographs also implicit some prejudices. In tourist magazines, the marvelous shots are always artificial and magnify the beauty of the scenary.
In addition, by reading magazines and newspapers, people themselves are subject to make mistakes about the foreign country, since there is no way for(to) reflection as well as to examine their views. In contrary, if we have the chance to visit and stay in the foreign country, through communicating with local residents, we can certainly re-examine our point of view of the country and update our perception and infomation concurrently. That will be a much better and efficient way to understand the country.
Of course, there stand some advantages to learn about a foreign country through reading relative magazines and newspaper; comparing with visiting a foreign country at present, it costs less time and expenses. Under some circumstances, we cannot afford to pay for the vacation(afford to go on vacation). Thus, reading magazines and newspapers turns out to be a second best option.
In a nutshell, learning about a country through reading magazines and newspaper is not an ideal approach. If time and expenses are allowed, I still recommend to travel and stay in the country for several days.

好文，学习！

junedreamjuneUID??2700743

6.26: The best way to learn about a foreign country is by reading newspaper or magazines.

There are many ways to understand a foreign country. We can learn about the country by spending couples of days traveling there and communicating with native people, or through reading magazines and newspaper. Nevertheless, personally I prefer to learn about a foreign country by staying there for a period of time, rather than merely reading magazines and newspaper either from the country or introducing it.
First of all, reading second-hand information from magazines and newspaper tends to present people with partial and even distorted conception about the country. Articles in magazines and newspaper, no matter prons and cons, can be influenced greatly by the position of  the critics' view. Even photographs also implicit some prejudices. In tourist magazines, the marvelous shots are always artificial and magnify the beauty of the scenary.
In addition, by reading magazines and newspapers, people themselves are subject to make mistakes about the foreign country, since there is no way for reflection as well as to examine their views. In contrary, if we have the chance to visit and stay in the foreign country, through communicating with local residents, we can certainly re-examine our point of view of the country and update our perception and infomation concurrently. That will be a much better and efficient way to understand the country.
Of course, there stand some advantages to learn about a foreign country through reading relative magazines and newspaper; comparing with visiting a foreign country at present, it costs less time and expenses. Under some circumstances, we cannot afford to pay for the vacation. Thus, reading magazines and newspapers turns out to be a second best option.
In a nutshell, learning about a country through reading magazines and newspaper is not an ideal approach. If time and expenses are allowed, I still recommend to travel and stay in the country for several days.

junedreamjuneUID??2700743

15# ilnlh 谢谢修改，其实我也发现这篇自己立论进入死角了，，逻辑混乱思维片面用词生涩~~OMG...

junedreamjuneUID??2700743

14# kaolaliang 谢谢修改，我也不知道怎么回事paste那么混乱:dizzy:其实我也觉得用词方面有些钻牛角了，，努力改正，多谢提醒~~

ilnlhUID??2641884

整体来说不错，可以看出有一定功底

Word标红的错误先自己改一下吧
题目是比较型的作文最好每段都能关注两点内容的比较；最好能有结尾段，不然显得过于仓促也不自然

kaolaliangUID??2758807

A job with more vacation time or with high salary but offering less vacations, which one do you prefer? Many people may prefer more free time, while for others high salaries are more tempting. In terms of me, a job with high salary is apparantly more attractive and I'm willing to sacrifice my vacation time for it. There stand several incentives as well as（good~） reasonable considerations for my option.（观点明了）

      First of all, as a novice in the laborforcemarket, what I am avid now is accumulation of working experiences and capitals,rather than plenties of spare time for vacation. Vacation time is attractive,though, I prefer to obtain more working skills and experiences in an intensiveworking condition. I appreciate a job with large amounts of tasks and challenges, with which I will grow rapidly in my career. However, if I don't have much work to do, I will feel lost at the meaning and value of myself.
i% R1 Q) k* {
     Furthermore, with limited money at hand,even the job offers me multitudes of vacation time, I cannot afford to pay forthese traveling cost. All the destinations in travelling Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement（这句在这感觉有点生硬， 个人觉得连后面那句合并成一句 Do you want to accept the less salary to spend more vacation?）? A job with more vacation time is better than a job with high salarybut less vacation time.
j* v* N: _8 S0 N! P
     (这段楼主paste过来的？好像首段啊~~)A job with more vacation time or with high salary but offering less vacations, which one do you prefer? Many people mayprefer more free time, while for others high salaries are more tempting. Interms of me, a job with high salary is apparantly more attractive and I'mwilling to sacrifice my vacation time for it. There stand several incentives aswell as reasonable considerations for my option.4 g3 X3 @2 ^( r0 ]) N& J

     （paste）First of all, as a novice in the laborforcemarket, what I am avid now is accumulation of working experiences and capitals,rather than plenties of spare time for vacation. Vacation time is attractive,though, I prefer to obtain more working skills and experiences in an intensiveworking condition. I appreciate a job with large amounts of tasks andchallenges, with which I will grow rapidly in my career. However, if I don'thave much work to do, I will feel lost at the meaning and value of myself.4 {4 q! L" M$ {0 s$ O' w

     paste？Furthermore, with limited money at hand,even the job offers me multitudes of vacation time, I cannot afford to pay forthese traveling cost. All the destinations in travelling brochures areattractive. Paris, the romantic city with clusters of classic architectures,artisy galleries, and vogue designed clothes, Hong Kong, the placecharacterized with both modern skyscrapers and traditional Chinese customs,Hawaii, the summer island with glorious sunshine and beaches, the blue sea andsky, are all what I’m long for. But the tangible problem is that I can affordnone of these trips, since I don’t have enough money., t# J4 z2 e3 w" d0 l( f
6 L' T' F4 ?2 A" Z/ ]
     Finally, I suppose a wiser career plan is to earn sufficient money at first. Only with the preparation of enough depositscan（这个词好正式啊~ saving用于个人的储蓄是否更准确些？ 个人想法）（that） we decide a most suitable life style and take implementation in next step.Some people are inclined to the job that requires much energy and time(Chglish了 没有这个用法吧), since it （has given）give them a sense of satisfaction in career. Some people are susceptible to a job with more spare time to play, to travel or to focus on their own interests. Without the first accumulation step, we are more subject to makecompromises and choose a less perfect and suitable job that can hinder the happinessand valuation we originally deserve.brochures areattractive. Paris, the romantic city with clusters of classic architectures,artisy galleries, and vogue designed clothes, Hong Kong, the placecharacterized with both modern skyscrapers and traditional Chinese customs,Hawaii, the summer island with glorious sunshine and beaches, the blue sea and sky, are all what I’m long for. But the tangible problem is that I can afford none of these trips, since I don’t have enough money.
M! Q0 |0 I: A
     Finally, I suppose a wiser career plan is to earn sufficient money at first. Only with the preparation of enough depositscan we decide a most suitable lifestyle and take implementation in next step.Some people are inclined to the job that requires much energy and time, sinceit give them a sense of satisfaction in career. Some people are susceptible toa job with more spare time to play, to travel or to focus on their owninterests. Without the first accumulation step, we are more subject to makecompromises and choose a less perfect and suitable job that can hinder the happinessand valuation we originally deserve.

总结： 论点明了，层次分明。
缺点： 出发点多从个人考虑了，可以尝试着以第3人称的角度出发，例子都是个人的想法，这样子没啥说服力~  
ps： 感觉楼主用词是在追求难度，但是ets的要求是accurate， 所以用一般性单词也许会比生僻的词显得合理些
个人意见，仅供参考

junedreamjuneUID??2700743

11# potpourri 其实当时我没有想那么多，写的时候感觉pick up 就类似select吧，后来查了词典好像也有这个意思~

junedreamjuneUID??2700743

Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? A job with more vacation time is better than a job with high salarybut less vacation time.

A job with more vacation time or with highsalary but offering less vacations, which one do you prefer? Many people mayprefer more free time, while for others high salaries are more tempting. Interms of me, a job with high salary is apparantly more attractive and I'mwilling to sacrifice my vacation time for it. There stand several incentives aswell as reasonable considerations for my option.

First of all, as a novice in the laborforcemarket, what I am avid now is accumulation of working experiences and capitals,rather than plenties of spare time for vacation. Vacation time is attractive,though, I prefer to obtain more working skills and experiences in an intensiveworking condition. I appreciate a job with large amounts of tasks andchallenges, with which I will grow rapidly in my career. However, if I don'thave much work to do, I will feel lost at the meaning and value of myself.

Furthermore, with limited money at hand,even the job offers me multitudes of vacation time, I cannot afford to pay forthese traveling cost. All the destinations in travelling Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? A job with more vacation time is better than a job with high salarybut less vacation time.

A job with more vacation time or with highsalary but offering less vacations, which one do you prefer? Many people mayprefer more free time, while for others high salaries are more tempting. Interms of me, a job with high salary is apparantly more attractive and I'mwilling to sacrifice my vacation time for it. There stand several incentives aswell as reasonable considerations for my option.

First of all, as a novice in the laborforcemarket, what I am avid now is accumulation of working experiences and capitals,rather than plenties of spare time for vacation. Vacation time is attractive,though, I prefer to obtain more working skills and experiences in an intensiveworking condition. I appreciate a job with large amounts of tasks andchallenges, with which I will grow rapidly in my career. However, if I don'thave much work to do, I will feel lost at the meaning and value of myself.

Furthermore, with limited money at hand,even the job offers me multitudes of vacation time, I cannot afford to pay forthese traveling cost. All the destinations in travelling brochures areattractive. Paris, the romantic city with clusters of classic architectures,artisy galleries, and vogue designed clothes, Hong Kong, the placecharacterized with both modern skyscrapers and traditional Chinese customs,Hawaii, the summer island with glorious sunshine and beaches, the blue sea andsky, are all what I’m long for. But the tangible problem is that I can affordnone of these trips, since I don’t have enough money.

Finally, I suppose a wiser career plan isto earn sufficient money at first. Only with the preparation of enough depositscan we decide a most suitable lifestyle and take implementation in next step.Some people are inclined to the job that requires much energy and time, sinceit give them a sense of satisfaction in career. Some people are susceptible toa job with more spare time to play, to travel or to focus on their owninterests. Without the first accumulation step, we are more subject to makecompromises and choose a less perfect and suitable job that can hinder the happinessand valuation we originally deserve.brochures areattractive. Paris, the romantic city with clusters of classic architectures,artisy galleries, and vogue designed clothes, Hong Kong, the placecharacterized with both modern skyscrapers and traditional Chinese customs,Hawaii, the summer island with glorious sunshine and beaches, the blue sea andsky, are all what I’m long for. But the tangible problem is that I can affordnone of these trips, since I don’t have enough money.

Finally, I suppose a wiser career plan isto earn sufficient money at first. Only with the preparation of enough depositscan we decide a most suitable lifestyle and take implementation in next step.Some people are inclined to the job that requires much energy and time, sinceit give them a sense of satisfaction in career. Some people are susceptible toa job with more spare time to play, to travel or to focus on their owninterests. Without the first accumulation step, we are more subject to makecompromises and choose a less perfect and suitable job that can hinder the happinessand valuation we originally deserve.