<Daily writing作文小组>蜗牛的作文贴

Sudden2012UID: 2856328

8月30日的，谢谢修改了，求拍

tequilawineUID: 2702008

a little late

Sudden2012UID: 2856328

9.13. 独立（20100522）+综合
谢谢修改的同学了~
今天的独立是之前大家写过的9.3.的，帮我看看吧，谢谢~

YukikoUID: 3170692

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1304971-1-1.html 帮忙批改一下我的啊~~~多多交流^_^

YukikoUID: 3170692

When it comes to whether it is a wise decision to move to a new city or a new country in sacrifice of old friends, different people hold different ideas. Some of them think it is not a good thing to do so since they are fear of loosing precious old friends. In my opinion, however, I do not agree with that standpoint. From my perspective, moving to a new place can provide one with more opportunities as well as broad one's horizon. Moreover, one can contact his or her old friends via internet and associate with kinds of people in the new place.

Firstly, for the sake of one's self-improvement, moving to a new place is always a common choice for today's youth. The reason is that moving to a new place may offer one more chances to climb up in one's career, or at least fulfill one's life experience and broad one's horizon. For example, one of my friends Benjamin, a competent computer engineer, experienced a career take-off after his moving to a new city with[where have(has)] a desperate demand for elites in computer field. He also told me that he enjoyed the new city's relaxing life style which is drastically different from the last(original) city. In this sense, moving to a new place is good for people's self-improvement.

In addition, moving to a new city or new country also provide people with more chance to communicate with others so that people can make new friends there. Actually, when people are seated in an unacquainted condition, what they may suffer first is nerve or loneliness. Nevertheless, people would try to get rid of this uncomfortable feeling by positively associating with others. (And) As a result, one can meet different people and may gain new friendship in the new place. As I just mentioned, Benjamin, he makes many new friends in the new city, he said he acquired friendship as precious as gained the last city.

Moreover, moving to a new place is of little indicating that one may lose his old friends. Under the development of our technology, computer, cell phone and automobile become common among ordinary people. In this sense, people can come into contact with their old friends via internet such as e-mail, face book, MSN and so forth. Also, people can simply give a phone call to their old friends to enhance their friendship. And, in one's leisure time, one can immediately call on old friends though convenient vehicle.

In sum, it can be a good thing(idea) to move to a new city or a new country since people can have more opportunities for their individual improvement and they can also make new friends in the new place. Again, moving to a new place does not necessarily(always 总觉得necessarily 不太适合) mean that people will lose old friends because they can contact their friends through e-mail, telephone and internet. (many communication tools)


至于字数太多么。。。
因为这篇作文题目提到了lose old friends,因此对此要有针对性。也就是说。Firstly可以省去或略写~~

Sudden2012UID: 2856328

9.12. 独立
谢谢修改的同学了~

YukikoUID: 3170692

你的作文我还会改的，也欢迎改改我的作文噢~~多多交流~~https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1304971-1-1.html

窝头拌咸菜UID: 3033645

19# Sudden2012
9.10 综合改好了，只有些许语法错，总体写得很好，赞一个~

找翅膀的兔子UID: 2854568

其实我也不能说我改好了  实在觉得你写的太好了~

Sudden2012UID: 2856328

感谢各位的修改了哈！今天只写了综合TPO9
多多交流~

venusbloomUID: 2511701

14# Sudden2012

pj1213UID: 2952708

9月9日 20100821NA

Some people say we should never beimpolite to another person. Do you agree or disagree?
When it comes to contact with people, should we never beimpolite to another person? Different people will give different answers. Someof them hold the opinion that we should always be polite to others since theythink being polite is a necessary manner in nowadays society. However, I stand at the antithesis of that standpoint. （这个是不是过了？因为你后面并没有持相反意见，而是in some cases)From my perspective, being polite does play a significant role in our society,nevertheless, in some cases, we should be impolite to others in order to defendour dignity or to warn others.



Admittedly, with the development of our society, peopleare submerged in a high pace of living, and as a result, communication amongpeople become more sensitive than it had ever been, so people are prone to beoffended by others' impolite words. Consider, if one wants to get on well withhis colleagues or classmates, or one wants to gain recognization from his boss,the first character he should possess is being polite to others. That is tosay, the quality of today’s society requires us to being polite to others.


However, significant as being polite is, that does notnecessarily mean we should never be impolite to anther person. Sometimes, wemust be impolite to others for the sake of them. Children, for example, whocannot distinguish right from wrong and do not know what manner they should orshould not perform, deserve impolite treatment when they conduct somethingwrong again and again. Or they could not recognize their inappropriate behaviorand may do the same next time when facing similar situation. Say if a child lieto escape discipline from breaking a vase, his parents should be impolite tohim so as to give him a deep impression. Only in this way would the child knowhis improper behavior. In this sense, being impolite to others sometimes isnecessary in our life.


Moreover, sometimes being impolite to others is a properway to defend our right or dignity. We associate with different people in ourdaily life and not all people hold a sound character, those people may behaverudely to us. In this situation, if we receive it negatively and do not takeany measure, it will give those people an impression that we are tame and theymay do the same next time they meet us. An example is that, one of my friendonce has encountered malefactor, he behave impolite to them and give them anuncompromising impression.(这句句子太长了，我帮你截断了，长短句穿插，比较让人读起来方便点) Thanks to his impolite behavior, malefactors werefreaked and ran away. In this case, for some situation, we must be impolite toanther person to defend(for defending / impolite to another person是为了维护我们的尊严，而不是去维护)our dignityand ensure our safety.


In sum, it is undoubted that we should be polite to othersto create a harmonious atmosphere, however, in some cases we must be impoliteto defend our dignity, to ensure our safety, or to cultivate others, likechildren's, sound personality.
结构挺清晰的，总论点隐含了各分论点，总结也呼应了，每段结尾也点题了，不错！向你学习！

byebyehakuUID: 3124349

改完了哦~~欢迎讨论~！！！

byebyehakuUID: 3124349

作文我已经下了，改完传上来。这是我的作文~欢迎批改~
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1292096-3-1.html

Sudden2012UID: 2856328

9.9 独立+综合
谢谢修改，多多交流哈！