Daily Wringting by 蹲着的猫

wqr619UID??3007621

修改总结(从陶太郎那里学来的，发现真是个好办法)
2月11日
陶太郎修改：
1. for both 而不是 both for
2.competitive 而不是 competenced
3.while 只能连接两个分句！！！

2月16日
阿达修改：
1.“I depend my statement on” 改成“my statement depend on”
2."food of low quality" 改成“low quality food”
3.But作为句子开头过于口语话，改成别的副词

2月17日
阿达修改：
1.statistics 用 released； survey用conduct
2.which从句不要连用
3.truth最好不要用，不然过于夸张

2月20日
阿达修改：
1.本来想表达non of one's busisness，但感觉这样讲有点口语化，就用了irrelevant这个词。。可是这个词是不切题的意思。。似乎也不对。。想改成unrelated不知可否？
2.结尾过于绝对化。。把题目都说大了
本来是年轻人有影响力，变成了有影响力的只有年轻人
By的修改：
1.take something into account
2.what's more应该用what is more

2月21日
阿达修改：
1.题目：虽然科技的发展是无止境的，但是人类的生活质量最重要的进步已经发生了。
我的论述局限在物质生活，可以扩展到精神人文关怀方面。

2月22日
阿达修改：
选择例子的问题：就此楼主写的时候也很纠结。。限定的时间里面想不出什么好的例子了。。就十分狗血地用了个小孩买面条的例子。。。T.T

2月23日
阿达修改：
1.being entangled in heavy workload 好词~~~学到了~~~
2.用might代替may
3.more accessible
4.有关论点：赶脚还是阿达的“具体问题具体分析”的论点比较好~~~
蜗牛修改：
1.注意转折词however的用法
2.论证可以用对比

2月27日（修改2月5日的作文）
阿达修改：
1.注意转折词的用法
2.电影包含现实主义元素用“movie embodied with...”
3.take sth for example太口语化
4.captivate

FlyingFieUID??3251779

LZ 还在吗？有些写作上的问题，求赐教！！！ 谢了

张璞UID??2948450

终于传上来了！有些迟到！楼主勿怪啊！

张璞UID??2948450

2月22日
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1337828&extra=
请楼主帮忙批改哈！

iBT20120304UID??3228839

楼主的文章质量，在这半个多月内有很多进步。
半个多月前的这篇文章没有现在写得通顺，用词造句都要逊色很多。
加油！

wqr619UID??3007621

啊~~你的等级似乎不够传附件呢....没关系去稍微水几个帖子就好了~~~~
发我邮箱也可：wqr619@yahoo.com.cn
或者直接粘过来
83# 张璞

张璞UID??2948450

楼主，怎么穿word文档附件哪？我给你传了一下午，都是乱码了！唉！

张璞UID??2948450

2月23日
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1337828&extra=
抱歉，交作业晚了！麻烦楼主帮改改！你太牛了！我都不知道能改你的什么！

张璞UID??2948450

2月23日
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1337828&extra=
抱歉，交作业晚了！麻烦楼主帮改改！你太牛了！我都不知道能改你的什么！

iBT20120304UID??3228839

写得不错，加油！

奔跑蜗牛UID??2579189

With today’s high pace of work and heavy life pressure, people are in great demand for the best way to relax themselves. It is true that popular public sports activities like Yoga and basketballs are a
fairly good choice
注意单复数for relaxation , which directly contribute to ones’ physical health. Nevertheless, mental treatment by reading books or movies plays a more important role in lowering down pressure for modern people. My statement depends on the following reasons.

Admittedly, people feel quite relaxed after all the excitement from sports. Nevertheless, physical activities only help people to forget their troubles temporarily by replacing mental disorders and burdens with physical stress. On the contrary, by reading meaningful books or watching encouraging movies, individuals can find a way to regain their hope for life and even adjust their tiring life rhythm. For instance, a busy and high-pressure employee in Wall Street may find him working with heavy burdens and worries, since he has a good chance to be fired once he have made even a tiny mistake. However,
当他看完一部什么电影以后，观念改变了 after he watched a great movie called-A Good Year, which described an excellent financial analyst’s decision about quitting his job to enjoy life, he may change his attitude towards life. Work, money and luxurious life without vacation are nothing compared with the true essence of happiness. A gym exercise may give him an exciting experience, but never can it teach him a lesson to completely relax himself. 可以用个比对，比如某某做运动的时候，放松了，后来想起来什么事情还是一样的等等

Besides, books and movies are easier access in one’s daily life. Not everyone has the suitable condition to do physical exercise. Most people in the big city live far away from schools with open area to play footballs. Also, gyms in the fancy shopping malls cost too much for the general public. As a result, common people simply have no easy access to sports after a busy day. It is quite uncommon for them to drive miles to the suburb to play balls, which possibly end up with a more tiring day. Consequently, it is more beneficial for modern people to stay at home and enjoy a quiet life while reading and watching movies, especially for those in the crowded cities.

In addtion, World Health Organization have proposed modern people care more about their mental health, which accounts for the most of the health problems. Reading good and educative books offer people a chance to balance themselves between heavy work and relaxing life,
which directly leads to a better mental state.

To conclude, movies and books is a better choice for relaxation, due to its contribution to human’s mental health and its easier access for common people.

wqr619UID??3007621

2月23日

iBT20120304UID??3228839

楼主写得很好。加油！

wqr619UID??3007621

2月22日

wqr619UID??3007621

谢谢阿达。。你提的建议灰常好~~~
我只是在讲物质生活，其实可以涉足与人文方面，使得论证更完整。
74# iBT20120304