Horse 7月AW 练习

ILOVECHEMISTRYUID：2969217

宗旨：踏踏实实练习，真真正正提分！

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学习小结：

V5.0 (8.17)
终于可以休息两周，这两周AW主要是精修以前写过的文章，然后看王老师的范文，写提纲，争取把题库都过一遍。

V4.0 (8.09)

离考试还有20天，过去一周多实验室太忙，老板盯得特别紧，想休息两周（8.17-8.29），所以这一周每天都在赶实验，作文任务拉下了很多。未来AW 可能更多回去写提纲，修改，反复修改，同时把王老师的范文好好研习
几遍。加油！

V3.0 (7.24)

No pains, no gains! 过去10天已经写了8篇，有两篇经过重写，相当于是写了10篇。还学习了其他考友的优秀范文，一路跟着王老师的思路和节奏，自己感觉经过10天的练习，最起码思路是建立起来了。限时练习会继续下去，不限时精修会加强。有一些习作自己回过头来看第一版觉得很可笑，再看看第二版觉得也还行，真有想改第三版的冲动！呵呵！I am flying!

V2.0 (7.16)

继续计时练习。感觉上手更快了！跟王老师在微信上聊，觉得计时练习很重要。不计时就是和ETS耍流氓，到时候ETS 才不理你呢！继续多练！

V1.0 (7.14)

看了Issue 15的同主题文章 （3篇 + 1篇王老师的范文），思路算是有了。自己当时写的时候，思路还是打不开，有卡顿的情况。就是感觉自己有很多例子，也想往里面堆，就是找不到切入点，或者时间限定情况下，不能把以前的积累用在写作上。但是发现王老师给的case 都很随意，恰到好处，好像也没有怎么费力就加入到里面去了。这个需要继续学习。

写完后，帮Sherry同学改了一下同主题的习作，帮他改了几处错误，自己也算是学习，进步，以后可以避免犯类似的错误。

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授权声明：

本人为寄托ID：ILOVECHEMISTRY 的持有人，现通过寄托论坛参与tesolchina的GRE写作研究，在这里授权tesolchina和hj1313的ID持有人使用本帖中本人的习作及互改记录做教学与科研用途。


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英语背景：

T 25, G 3

GRE考试时间：8月29日

期望分数：4+

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covan834UID：3580369

appreciate it

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总结反馈

占楼

ILOVECHEMISTRYUID：2969217

7月30日 同主题练习 argument 34
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1866295-1-1.html

占位

ILOVECHEMISTRYUID：2969217

占位 7.29

    https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1865079-1-1.html

ILOVECHEMISTRYUID：2969217

补交作业（7.30）

7月28日 同主题练习-argument 100

  https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1865077-1-1.html

100) The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.

Jazz music is extremely popular in the city of Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight. Also, a number of well-known jazz musicians own homes in Monroe. Nevertheless, the nearest jazz club is over an hour away. Given the popularity of jazz in Monroe and a recent nationwide study indicating that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment, a jazz music club in Monroe would be tremendously profitable.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.


Based on annual jazz festival attendees in the city of Monroe last summer, a highest-rated radio program, and lots of jazz musicians' living in Monroe, the arguer propose that a jazz music club in Monroe will be profitable. However, kinds of hidden or stated assumptions may weaken the argument in part or full. Among the assumptions are that lots of local resident in Monroe loves jazz music, that the local jazz music lovers are loyal jazz music fans, and that the proposed jazz music club will be profitable.

To begin with, it's assumed that the jazz music is very popular among Monroe and residents here are jazz music lovers. Yet the evidence is not convincing enough to support such an assumption. The annual jazz festival held last summer in Monroe was claimed to attract 100,000 people. Maybe most of the 100,000 jazz music lovers are from other places throughout the country. Maybe the annual jazz festival will be held in another place in the future and will not attract that many music lovers again. The highest-rated radio program in Monroe also can't reflect the popularity of jazz music among the local residents. Maybe the radio lovers are the retired old people, they just listen to the radio as a habit, they may just listen to the voice but not enjoy the content. The real jazz music lovers, the young people, may surf the Internet for music shows, not necessary jazz music again. The famous jazz musicians' preferring to live in Monroe can't mean anything about the jazz music; they may just enjoy the quite places to compose jazz music. The popularity of jazz music in Monroe needs to be reevaluated before reaching any conclusion.

Another assumption being made here is that the music lovers in Monroe are loyal jazz music fans. Even assuming that the local residents love music, yet they may not love jazz music the most. The nearest jazz music club is over an hour away, this fact may reflect that the jazz music is not popular here; or else the demand of jazz music from the loyal fans had promoted the establishment of such places.

Also, the arguer assumes that the jazz music club will be profitable. The national study showed that the typical jazz fans spend almost $1,000 every year on jazz entertainment. Yet the study can't give any information about the real case of local music lovers in Monroe. Music lovers here may not spend that much money on jazz music at all. They may prefer to listen to jazz music on line for free. Also, other music clubs oriented to kinds of music styles including jazz music may attract the local music lovers, hence inducing competitive pressure to the proposed jazz music club. Under such conditions, the profitability of the jazz music club can't be ensured.

To sum up, the popularity of Jazz music in Monroe should be reevaluated as to make it convincing. Besides, the preference of music among the local residents should be studied, and the possible factors such as competition from other music clubs should be ruled out as to ensure a profitable premise.

(33min)

ILOVECHEMISTRYUID：2969217

补交作业 （7.30）

7.27

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1865072-1-1.html


100) Colleges and universities should require their students to spend at least one semester studying in a foreign country.

Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position.

===========================

As the international exchanges go into all kinds of life, studying abroad for colleges students is becoming a trend. Nowadays, colleges are trying to require their students to study in a foreign country for at least one semester. For students majoring in foreign languages, economy, sociology and so on, such a policy may sound good. It's may not necessary for students studying biology, chemistry or physics; also, some students lack of sufficient financial resources may find it hard to pay for the fees related to studying abroad.

To begin with, the policy requiring students to study at least one semester in a foreign country can be beneficial for students majoring in foreign languages, economy, sociology and so on. Take foreign languages major as an example, studying at home is limited to the text books, teacher-to-students communication and foreigner-to-students exchanges. The real skills of handling a real case under the real condition is far from the teaching contents experienced in the classes at home. The best way, or maybe the only way to appreciate the depth of a language is to enjoy the real environment in that foreign country. Studying abroad can improve the expressing skills, better the understanding of the culture which is well matched with the education purposes of foreign languages.

While some students whose majors ranging from biology to chemisty to physics may find such a policy unnecessary for their major requirement or career development. As we all know, for these science students, their daily schedules are piled up with kinds of experiment records, project homework, research paper reviews. They can't spare enough time to study a language, then study their major courses .taught in a foreign language. Besides, the study plan abroad is different from the domestic one, thus making such students going abroad confused. They may find it hard to choose a proper course to study; they may fall behind from their foreign counterparts when encountering some language problems. Such a culture shot may delay their normal major study, which will cast some disadvantages to their study plans hence academic performance.

Also, not every student has sufficient financial resources to study abroad, especially without any scholarship from the college. For these students, the policy may have nothing to do with their study. For studying abroad nowadays needs a lot of money to support the traffic fees, daily cost, house rents and so on. Without enough money, students from poor families may just regard the studying abroad for a semester as a dream.

To sum up, the policy requiring students to study abroad for at least one semester needs to be reevaluated. For some students such as foreign majors, the policy may be beneficial for their career development; while for some science students, studying abroad for a semester is not a necessary choice, especially for the undergraduates. In any case, for students lack of money, requiring them to study in a foreign country for one semester is just an impossible dream if without finical support from the outside.


(37min)

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argument 153  

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1864420-1-1.html

The following appeared in a memo to the board of directors of Bargain Brand Cereals.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

One year ago we introduced our first product, Bargain Brand breakfast cereal.

Our very low prices quickly drew many customers away from the top-selling cereal companies.

Although the companies producing the top brands have since tried to compete with us by lowering their prices and although several plan to introduce their own budget brands, not once have we needed to raise our prices to continue making a profit.

Given our success in selling cereal, we recommend that Bargain Brand now expand its business and begin marketing other low-priced food products as quickly as possible.

=================


Grounded on the success in selling Bargain Brand Cereals (BBC) one year ago, the board of directors recommends that the BBC should expand its business and begin marketing other low-priced food products as to make a profit. Yet the recommendation is based on some hidden or stated assumptions which need to be reevaluated as to make it convincing. Among the assumptions are that the new products of BBC will make a profit as the old ones, that the competing companies will not affect the market share owned by BBC, and that the low-price based strategy will be popular to their customer as before.


To begin with, it's assumed that the will-be-released new products in BBC can make a profit as the old ones one year ago.


Another assumption being made here is that new low-priced products and related strategies proposed by competing companies will not reduce the market shares own by BBC.


Also, the arguer assumed that the low-priced products in BBC will continue to attract the customers in the future.


To sum up,


作业晚交了，赶上上周有点空，老师的文章却看不了，这周实验室的事情太多。估计作业都要晚交了。

这个专题对我来说很有帮助，自己以前就是重复原文，没有把chaim 和 data的逻辑给点出来。

ILOVECHEMISTRYUID：2969217

Argument 32/104/105/106/107 学习
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1834110-1-1.html

感觉这种把一类逻辑推理掰开了，碾碎了，清清楚楚！非常锻炼逻辑思维，这种一招制胜的学习方法很值得学习！有空好好拜读！好好写总结！

ILOVECHEMISTRYUID：2969217

Argument 62 进一步研习

The following appeared in a memo from the director of a large group of hospitals.

"In a laboratory study of liquid antibacterial hand soaps, a concentrated solution of UltraClean produced a 40 percent greater reduction in the bacteria population than did the liquid hand soaps currently used in our hospitals. During a subsequent test of UltraClean at our hospital in Workby, that hospital reported significantly fewer cases of patient infection than did any of the other hospitals in our group. Therefore, to prevent serious patient infections, we should supply UltraClean at all hand-washing stations throughout our hospital system.”

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

==========================
Study result:

(1) The lab study showed that UltraClean (UC) can render 40% greater reduction in the bacteria population than that of the currently used liquid hand soaps in the hospital group. (comparison: lab conditions vs hospital conditions)

(2) Subsequent test of UC at a hospital in Workby, just one branch in the hospital group, reported fewer cases of patient infection than any other hospitals in the group.

Recommendation:

To prevent serious patient infections, we should supply UC at all hand-washing stations throughout the hospital group.

Paraphrase of the logic:

A 和 B在 C 情景中对比发现 A很牛逼，有具体的数据支持 （可能是调查，可能是实验结果，可能是建模分析，有等等可能）；
然后，继续演绎：牛逼的A在 D情景中的D1幕中（注意D情景中有N幕）被证实确实是很牛逼。于是牛逼的A就应该在D情景中的N幕中都演女一号
这个过程，已经悄无声息地偷换了很多概念：
（1） C情景中证明A很牛逼，首先这个不一定成立；退一步讲，即使成立，那也是在C情景中，这可不能随随便便就推演到D情景。 C和D的差异需要点出来，点破！

（2）C 和D可能存在逻辑关系，但这种逻辑关系合理的前提是什么？在有些前提下是不合理的。这种逻辑关系也需要点出来，点破!

结合本文分析如下：

（1）lab study的condition 和真实的hospital 的condition不一样，lab study 中证明UC 牛逼，但是在hospital 中不一定牛逼。UC 在lab study 中被证明牛逼这件事本身也不一定就靠谱，比如，在lab study中，大家知道lab 中的实验条件control 做得好，各种灭菌措施每天都搞，可能是UC 和某一种灭菌措施有协同作用使得UC 比 currently used liquid hand soaps 的antibacterial effect 要好，这样其实就不能说明是单独的UC比 currently used liquid hand soaps 牛逼。这其实是指出可能的hidden assumption以达到weaken the argument 的目的。

（2）causes of fewer cases of patient infections at the hospital in Workby?  
a. 可能这家分支医院病人就少，case 少就不足为怪；
b. 也可能他家让病人经常洗手，这样降低了infection的chance, case 少也不足为怪；
c. 来他家的patient 免疫力很猛，case 少也不足为怪；
d. 他家经常做定点定时消毒，病房基本无死角，case 少也不足为怪；
e. 他家用的抗菌药是最新组合配方，对病菌杀伤力很有效，case少也不足为怪
反正possible causes 有一堆，只要对这方面的知识有足够的了解，能举出好多.
这么多理由为什么偏偏就说是用了UC的功劳呢？显然这是不能让人信服的！

另一方面有一个硬伤就是，UC 在Workby 这家牛逼，推广到所有的hospital group 就一定照样牛逼吗？水土不服怎么办？

（3）即使UC很猛，杀菌效果很好，但是，请注意，杀菌效果好（只根据bacteria population 多少来定其杀菌效果好坏实也很牵强，这个就不喷了，展开就太多了！）和 chances of patient infection 不是正相关的逻辑。简单地分一下bacteria 的类别，可以分为致病菌和非致病菌（非致病菌又可以分为对人有好处的和对人没有好处也没有坏处的），下面开始喷了：

a. 如果UC是对infection-free bactera 有response, 又如果这些bacteria 对人没有多大坏处也没有多大好处。那你UC 多杀40% 有什么用呢？反正杀多杀少和infection 没有一点联系。

b. 如果UC是对infection-free bacteria 有response, 又如果这些bacteria 比如像肠胃中有些促进消化作用的细菌被UC给干掉了，那其实不仅不会降低infection, 反而会对人的健康产生负面影响。（有点像是倒打一耙！）
感觉arguer 要哭了！


你上面的分析锚地没有提到serious infection这个概念 这明显是原题的一个重要切入点
总的来说 你的分析很好很认真 能找到做这种题的乐趣显然是最理想的效果了



Rewrite:

Grounding on a lab study of UltraClean (UC), a kind of soap, and the subsequent test of UC at the hospital in Workby, the director of the hospital group believes that the UC can reduce the bacterial population by 40%, hence lowering the chances of patient infections. Moreover, the director recommends that all the branches of their hospital group should introduce the UC to replace the currently used liquid hand soaps. Yet the director fails to make a sound recommendation when overlooking kinds of assumptions. Among the assumptions are the reliability of the study, the causes of fewer cases of patient infections at the hospital in Workby, and the relationship among bacterial population, antibacterial effect and patient infections.
Grounding on 没见过这么用  
fails to make a sound recommendation when overlooking kinds of assumptions 这个问题我在其他地方反复说过 不要说原论证错了 而要说可能有问题  需要进一步调查   
overlooking kinds of assumptions 搭配  这个overlook的使用说明你对assumption这个概念理解不够好  
Among the assumptions are 这里的搭配也有问题  

To begin with, the reliability of the study is open to kinds of questions. The lab study showed that the UC can reduce the bacterial population by 40% compared with the currently used liquid hand soaps, yet alternatives to such a gap are not ruled out. Maybe the UC together with some kind of antibacterial measure conducted in the lab almost every day does render such a positive result. Under such conditions, the UC alone may not cause the 40% reduction. Moreover, considering the different conditions between labs and hospitals, the positive effect of UC demonstrated by lab may not be applied to the real case in hospitals at all.

open to kinds of questions 不懂你的意思  
主题句要指出assumption   
alternatives to such a gap 不懂你的意思
some kind of antibacterial measure conducted in the lab 这个不是很靠谱 如果是为了测试soap的杀菌效能 不太可能另外做杀菌处理  


Also, it's assumed that fewer cases of patient infections at the hospital in Workby are due to the better effect of UC. While it's highly possible that the branch hospital can only attract very few patients, the fewer infection cases would make sense accordingly. Or the hospital in Workby takes some special measures to guide their patients to wash hands more frequently than any other branch hospital in the hospital group; maybe patients coming to the hospital have a relative stronger immune system to prevent them from the infection cases; maybe the hospital clears their patient rooms with antibacterial agents regularly as to leave little room for the infection cases; maybe the hospital introduces the latest antibacterial drugs to the unlucky patients to make them less vulnerable to the infection cases. Under the scenarios above, the infection cases all can be controlled reasonably; yet it's not necessary owing to the UC's goodness.

it's highly possible that the branch hospital can only attract very few patients 这里讨论病人的绝对数量的思路是对的 但是措辞有问题  怎么可能只能吸引很少的病人呢  你直接说这个医院规模比较小就完了嘛   
It is possilbe that Workby is a smaller hospital serving fewer patients on a daily basis than the other hospitals   latest antibacterial drugs to the unlucky patients (unlucky?)  
感觉这段提出的可能性太多 可以考虑减少一点 多一些解释和展开讨论  


Finally, the arguer assumes that by reducing the bacterial population the infection cases will be suppressed. Yet the relationship between bacterial population, antibacterial effect and cases of patient infections can be very complicated. Generally, the bacteria can be divided as infection-related and infection-free. Only to the infection-related conditions, controlling the bacterial population can have a positive relationship with the antibacterial effect hence the infection cases. While as to infection-free conditions, if the UC had a positive response to the bacteria which do no good or no bad, the 40% reduction rendered by UC actually have nothing to do with the infection cases at all; if the positive response was oriented to the bacteria beneficial to our dynamic healthy status, such a 40% reduction just poses a negative effect to our health.

Generally, the bacteria can be divided as infection-related and infection-free. 这个分类放在这里可能把问题搞复杂了  你要注意看题目讲的是serious infection 这个词你需要在文章里处理  


To sum up, the recommendation proposed by the director of the hospital group should be reevaluated to rule out possible negative effects. The reliability of the study as well as the causes of the fewer patient infections should be checked out carefully. What's more, the relationship between bacterial population, antibacterial effect and infection cases should be gauged according to the scientific research, especially the latest research.

(1)王老师邀请我给老师的范文提点修改意见，我觉得上面的分析已经很透彻了；感觉老师的点都有，就是没有点破。比如说第三段“Whether or not the extra 40% bacteria reduction would actually make a difference in infection control remains an open question. ” 其实就是在challenge "the relationship between bacterial population, antibacterial effect and infection cases ",只是老师的范文只给了一句，而且这个assumption 是很关键的，打蛇选七寸，我个人觉得把这个最核心的assumption 给掰开了，碾碎了，整个逻辑就算是解析清楚了。

(2) 整个工作用了将近四个多小时，我觉得这种时间上的投入还是很值得的，能把一些逻辑思路真正地看透了，这样便于消化。希望大家以后可以对自己特别熟悉的类型给一些详细的解析。

(3) 当时我练习的时候，其实思路都有了，只是时间紧迫，没有完全展开。感觉重写的过程中对整个逻辑的把握更细致了。

(4) 整个重写感觉是写了一篇科技小报告，呵呵！挺有趣的！

(5) 谢谢老师一直以来的指导，以上的产出源于和老师积极的交流、老师辛勤的反馈，还有不停的善意提醒。呵呵，祝好！

ILOVECHEMISTRYUID：2969217

tesolchina 发表于 2015-7-22 16:07
这篇还是没写？

谢谢老师负责任的提醒，已经补写，请查阅10楼。再次谢谢王老师！话说您的头像换得好抽象啊！大晚上的挺吓人的！呵呵！

tesolchinaUID：2191404

ILOVECHEMISTRY 发表于 2015-7-20 08:30
7月20日 issue 91 https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1862006-1-1.html

91) The primary goal of technologic ...

这篇还是没写？

ILOVECHEMISTRYUID：2969217

7月23日 同主题练习 argument 62 (https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1863584-1-1.html)

Argument 62 示范

argument 121 122 124

这道题也是天然高频，所以练一下。
The following appeared in a memo from the director of a large group of hospitals.

"In a laboratory study of liquid antibacterial hand soaps, a concentrated solution of UltraClean produced a 40 percent greater reduction in the bacteria population than did the liquid hand soaps currently used in our hospitals. During a subsequent test of UltraClean at our hospital in Workby, that hospital reported significantly fewer cases of patient infection than did any of the other hospitals in our group. Therefore, to prevent serious patient infections, we should supply UltraClean at all hand-washing stations throughout our hospital system.”

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

======================================
Grounding on a lab study of liquid antibacterial hand soaps, the director of a large hospital group argues that the UltraClean (UC) should be used to replace the present-used liquid hand soaps at all the hand-washing stations in their group system. However, the director based the recommendation on some hidden or stated assumptions which may weaken the argument. Among such unjustified assumptions are the reliability of the lab study, the causes of the fewer cases of Workby, a branch hospital of the group system, and the relationship between bacterial population and patient infection.

To begin with, the lab study of the UC leading to a 40% reduction effect against the bacteria is open to questions. As we all know, the lab study is based on full-controlled conditions which are totally different from the real conditions of hospitals. Bacterial response to the hand soaps can be totally different in the two conditions; chances are that the UC under lab conditions may give a good response to the bacteria while it may turn out to be totally useless when applied to the hospital conditions. Moreover, it's a common practice that more stringent antibacterial measures are performed as a daily work regardless of the UC test. Maybe the 40% reduction was a combination of some kind of antibacterial measure and the UC; under such scenario, the real antibacterial effect of UC alone can't be evaluated convincingly, let alone to give any suggestions to the hospitals.

Also, the arguer claims that the fewer cases of patient infection in Workby, a branch hospital of the group system, can demonstrate the efficiency of UC so as to recommend the overall use of UC. Actually, the fewer cases of patient infection in Workby can be caused by kinds of factors. Maybe the patients coming to Workby was fewer than that of other branches of the hospital group, hence rendering fewer cases of patient infection. Maybe the Workby hospital reminds their patients to wash hands more often than other hospitals, for frequent hand washing can also lead to less bacterial population which may reduce the patient infection.

Another assumption is that the relationship of bacterial population is linked to the patient infection chances directly. Common sense tells us that the bacteria can be regarded as infection-related and infection-free. Some bacteria may be beneficial to our health, while others may be infection-related. Yet the study totally doesn't mention the difference, maybe the study result was applied to the infection-free type; the infection-related result based on the UC may be the same as other hand soaps.

To sum up, the recommendation proposed by the director should be reevaluated. The lab study should be checked out again, the causes of fewer cases of patient infection should be balanced against other possible alternative, the relationship of bacterial population and patient infection should be studied in a more convincing manner.


(1)        这篇Argument 是自己先列提纲，完全没有看王老师的范文，大概花了有10min 想assumption, 然后就想到很明显的三个方面：（a）lab study 和 hospital 的conditions 那是完全两回事。这里因为背影知识很熟悉，所以给的例子都是很核心的例子，论证起来感觉很充分，写起来也很顺手; (b) UC 在Workby 的result可能原因是什么？没准patient 在他家就少呢，没准他家让patient 洗手的频率高呢，这些都可能导致patient infection 降低；（c）bacterial population 多了，不一定会使patient infection 机会增高，这不是一个正相关的命题。
(2)        感觉自己先想一下，再看老师的比较好一些。有些背景自己比较熟悉的话，可能上手会更快，写起来也更流畅。起码这一篇练习我自己感觉上手很快，写着感觉都不一样。

ILOVECHEMISTRYUID：2969217

7月22日 同主题 issue 78 (https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1863522-1-1.html)

78) People’s attitudes are determined more by their immediate situation or surroundings than by society as a whole.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

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The society as a whole, the attitudes of individuals towards different situations and surroundings around our daily life get involved into the complex network that would shape our complicated experience. People's attitudes, in my opinion, are more determined by the society as a whole through the education, media and government policies which also shape the situations and surroundings every now and then in some kind of manner.

get involved into - 选词 换成form
in some kind of manner. 删掉好些



To begin with, education as a key social institution counts a lot when determining our attitudes and our social environment. Take the "no smoking" in public places as an example. As we grow up, we are told by parents, teachers or some relatives that smoking is bad for our and others' health and smoking in public places is against the social etiquette. Although no law was framed to punish the smokers, the social pressure induced from our living environment does leave a message:"Do not do the things without any benefit to yourself at the cost of others' benefit". Our attitudes towards the smokers are shaped by this kind of belief based on education. Meanwhile the society would make some consistent response to the attitudes shared by the public; so we can see the obvious signs reading "no smoking" in kinds of public places such as libraries, music halls and so on. In a word, the society would first shape our attitudes and then develop specific environment that would facilitate the related practices.

counts a lot  
主题句里没有回应关键词 或者回应不明显 你要强调是社会通过教育影响 否则就有被判偏题的风险
the "no smoking" rule
the society would make some consistent response to the attitudes 搭配



Our attitudes are also determined by the society through the mass media. This is particular true in the high-tech-based society. Through extensive advertising campaigns, we are brainwashed into the belief that we can't survive without gears such as smart phones, PC and other services related with our daily life. We may come to realize that our value as human being is determined by the high-tech products we buy as advertised in the media. Meanwhile, the society would shape the surroundings in such a way that the high-tech-based communities are the living standards. With high-speed network, convenient communication systems, efficient transportation, living in such communities would reinforce the attitudes we hold towards the high-tech-based surroundings.

the high-tech-based communities are the living standards 搭配


Through government policies, the society can also exert an effect on our attitudes. Take gay marriage as an example. Thanks to the lenient policies towards the homosexual marriages recently, the gay marriage can be realized in more and more places in and outside American and European. Despite the fierce opposition from some social groups, the public attitudes towards gay marriages have gradually changed from hatred or reluctance to acceptance. As a positive response, the changes in government polices also stimulate the industries for gay romance and wedding, thus rendering new products and services for the gay couples to celebrate their relationships and bonding. So, the social environment would reflect the shift in government policies and public attitudes.

marriage can be realized搭配
rendering new products选词


To sum up, I agree that our attitudes towards the immediate situations and surroundings are shaped more by the larger society through institutions such as education, media and government. Meanwhile, such institutions would also reshape our social environment and give a positive response to our attitudes.

(50min)


感觉这道题不好写，很抽象！

写得还不错 就是时间太长了  

ILOVECHEMISTRYUID：2969217

7月21日 argument 54 同主题练习 (https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1862008-1-1.html )


54) Humans arrived in the Kaliko Islands about 7,000 years ago, and within 3,000 years most of the large mammal species that had lived in the forests of the Kaliko Islands had become extinct. Yet humans cannot have been a factor in the species' extinctions, because there is no evidence that the humans had any significant contact with the mammals. Further, archaeologists have discovered numerous sites where the bones of fish had been discarded, but they found no such areas containing the bones of large mammals, so the humans cannot have hunted the mammals. Therefore, some climate change or other environmental factor must have caused the species' extinctions.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

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The author argues that the climate change or environmental factor instead of human activities leads to the extinct of large mammal species which had lived in the forests of the Kaliko Islands (KI). However, the argument needs to reevaluate the assumptions in order to make it sound; among the stated or hidden assumptions are lack of evident of human-large-mammal contact, absent of bones of large mammals, and climate change or other environmental factors.

extinct词性
argument needs to reevaluate搭配
evident词性
absent 词性  
要用assumption about



To begin with, the author claims that lack of evident of the contact between human and large mammals in KI indicates that human should have nothing to do with the extinction of such large mammals species. However, chances are that the evident may not be explored yet because of the limited technology or research up to date. For example, the manual tools used by the hunters to kill such large mammals may still not be found for the position of such evidence was too hard for the equipment to detect; or simply such evidence was still there waiting for the up-coming researchers to make it exposed to the public. Actually, the lack of evidence can't indicate that such evidence is no exist, let alone to further assume the lack of contact of human and such large mammal species.

evident 词性
主题句里要出现assume或assumption
evidence- explore 搭配
make it exposed to the public选词
is no exist语法
你的表达问题好大 汗
assume后面的搭配
contact of .. with


Another assumption is that the absent of bones of large mammals in KI indicates that the extinct should not be caused by human activities. Yet, human at that time may had developed some kind of bone tools to hunt large mammals, after killing such animals, they not only eat them, but also used the bones of such large mammals to make more bone tools to kill more large mammals. If such a scenario existed, the lack of large mammal bones can’t support that human activities have nothing to do with the extinction of the large mammals.

这里assumption的概括有问题  
they found no such areas containing the bones of large mammals, so the humans cannot have hunted the mammals. 找不到骨头推出的结论是没有捕猎  你要针对这个推理来总结假设  



Also, the author assumes that, the climate change or other environmental factors must account for the extinction of the large mammals in KI. Actually, even if human didn't lead to the extinction of such large mammals, other alternatives can also account for the extinction. For example, it's possible that some small animals may move to the KI, 断句  they just ate the eggs of such large mammals; also such small animals may grow very quickly, making the survival of large mammals very hard and causing the final extinction.
To sum up, the assumptions of the argument are open to questions. The lack of evidence can't simply indicate the lack of contact of human and the large mammals in KI; the bones of large mammals also can't give any convincing supporting information of the extinction of such large mammals; the climate change or other environmental factors may be not the alternatives of the extinction of the large mammals.

对假设的概括还是不对  
你这是直接复述结论 而不是指出背后的假设  



(31min)