issue50 望回拍，请留地址，誓回！！

gzj123UID: 192680

Issue50:
In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach.

提纲:
1.表明观点,不同意此说法
2.承认faculty参加学术领域外但与教授课程有关的职位有时有益
3.在更多学科却不是这样
4.faculty参加学术领域外但与教授课程有关的职位有时会适得其反
5.总结,重复我的观点

The speaker contends that the professors,teachers,and their assistants at the high education level should working in the prodessions related to the courses they instuct outside the academic world which will benefit the teaching quality.While I agree that this way will does some help to most faculty to some extend, however,in diffent aspects, the potential harm it can inflict on both the teachers and their students far outweight its benefits.

Admittedly, taking part in the jobs in the relevant field can compensate pratical knowledge to the faculty, which is always lack of in pure academic. For example, the professor who teacher MBA needs a lot of working experience which include the finance, marketing, sale,ect. Because the degree MBA is proposed to cultivate the managers who can make use of the academic knowledge to the judgement and managerment to the real work. Therefore it is hard to imagine that a teacher without relevant experience can cultivate excellent students in the business fields after their graduation.

However, more often than not, in most fields, such as history,physics,and engineering, students will face pressing problems that can be solved only through academic methods. For instance, A DBA. student, unlike MBA ones,whose purpse is reseaching ,should learn from his professor in academic ways in order to write a qualitive dessertation in creating a new analysis system about business. In short, academical knowledge play a more considerable part to the college and university students than the practical one, in other words,intending to increasing instucion quality by spending time out of campus is putting the cart before the horse.

Equally important, we can not exclude the possibility that it cost faculty too much time and leads to the consequence that they can not concentrate on the courses that they teach. Once a professor enter the non-academic relevant world, regardless of the merits or the motives of him, he will have to be time consuming and energy comsuming. Even though faculty can get valueable knowledge ,it is also doubtful whether he has time to prepare the course and express the knowledge in a energitic and appealing way.

In sum, if we were to take the speaker's advice too far we would risk abasing the instruction quality rather than improving it. Accordingly, improving teaching quality in college and university is rarely justified merely by this method.

谢谢

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-8-24 at 22:48 ]

gzj123UID: 192680

knowledge Synonyms: EDUCATION  erudition(博学), learning, scholarship, science

gzj123UID: 192680

The speaker contends that the professors,teachers,and their assistants at the high education level should working-----(work) in the prodessions related to the courses they instuct----觉得还是teach好 outside the academic world which will benefit the teaching quality.While I agree that this way will does----will does (改成does do或者does较好) some help to most faculty 这里加个逗号吧  ，to some extend, however,in diffent aspects----好像没看到过这样用啊，只有in many aspects, on the other hand等等, the potential harm it can inflict on both the teachers and their students far outweight its benefits---用单数吧，和harm 相对应.

Admittedly, taking part in the jobs in the relevant field can compensate pratical----(practical) knowledge to the faculty----（不太好，knowledge后面的定语丛句没有接紧我建议compensate the faculty practicle knowledge然后直接加which不要用逗号隔开）, which （is always lack of）语法错误！改成（always lacks） in pure academic---这个词的名词意思好像不适合这里，建议查查字典. For example, the professor who teacher----（teatches）MBA needs a lot of working experience which include----(includes) the----不要，省略！ finance, marketing, sale----sales包括在marketing里面，可以用economics或者banking等等,ect. Because the degree MBA is proposed to cultivate the managers who can make use of the academic knowledge to the judgement and managerment---（management） to the real work. Therefore-----前面用了because这里怎么可以用therefore?!句号和therefore都去掉！ it is hard to imagine that a teacher without relevant experience can cultivate excellent students in the---去掉！ business fields after their graduation.

However, more often than not, in most fields, such as history,physics,and engineering, students will face pressing problems that can be solved only through academic methods. For instance, A DBA. student,----（这句改成A DBA. student, for instance比较地道） unlike MBA ones,whose purpse----(purpose) is reseaching ,should learn from his professor in academic ways in order to write a qualitive dessertation in creating a new analysis system about business. In short, academical knowledge play---plays a more considerable part to the college and university students than the practical one, in other words,intending to increasing---increase instucion quality by spending time out of (加一个the) campus is putting the cart before the horse.

Equally important, we can not exclude the possibility that it cost----(costs) faculty too much time and leads to the consequence that they can not concentrate on the courses that they teach. Once a professor enter----(enters) the non-academic relevant world, regardless of the merits or the motives of him, he will have to be time consuming and energy comsuming------(sth可以是time consuming and energy comsuming，人不能这么用啊！可能是consumed). Even though (加一个the) faculty can get valueable knowledge ,it is also doubtful whether he has time to prepare the course and express the knowledge in a----(an) energitic and appealing way.

In sum----(只看到过to sum up或者in conclusion), if we were to take the speaker's advice too far we would risk abasing the instruction quality rather than improving it. Accordingly, improving teaching quality in college and university is rarely justified merely by this method.

这年头找G友不容易啊!

gzj123UID: 192680

谢谢回拍!
还想问一下
1.除了sample 和statistic之外还有什么方法可以论证呢(不能三段都是例子吧)
2.知识除了knowledge还有什么说法?

flealdaUID: 2118390

The speaker contends that the professors,teachers,and their assistants at the high education level should working in the prodessions related to the courses they instuct outside the academic world which will benefit the teaching quality.While I agree that this way will does some help to most faculty to some extend, however,in diffent aspects, the potential harm it can inflict on both the teachers and their students far outweight its benefits.

Admittedly, taking part in the jobs in the relevant field can compensate pratical knowledge to the faculty, which is always lack of in pure academic. For example, the professor who teacher MBA needs a lot of working experience which include the finance, marketing, sale,ect. Because the degree MBA is proposed to cultivate the managers who can make use of the academic knowledge to the judgement and managerment to the real work. Therefore it is hard to imagine that a teacher without relevant experience can cultivate excellent students in the business fields after their graduation.(这一段让步论证和举例都不错)

However, more often than not, in most fields, such as history,physics,and engineering, students will face pressing problems that can be solved only through academic methods. For instance, A DBA. student, unlike MBA ones,whose purpse is reseaching ,should learn from his professor in academic ways in order to write a qualitive dessertation in creating a new analysis system about business(这里的论证太少了一点,可以把你要用这个例子表达的观点再多说一点,不然一下子后面就in short了). In short, academical knowledge play a more considerable part to the college and university students than the practical one, in other words,intending to increasing instucion quality by spending time out of campus is putting the cart before the horse.(很好)

Equally important, we can not exclude the possibility that it cost faculty too much time and leads to the consequence that they can not concentrate on the courses that they teach. Once a professor enter the non-academic relevant world, regardless of the merits or the motives of him, he will have to be time consuming and energy comsuming.(both time and energy consuming) Even though faculty can get valueable knowledge ,it is also doubtful whether he has time to prepare the course and express the knowledge in a energitic and appealing way. (再举个例子吧,或用一下数据论证,不然这一段太单薄了)

In sum, if we were to take the speaker's advice too far we would risk abasing the instruction quality rather than improving it. Accordingly, improving teaching quality in college and university is rarely justified merely by this method.

觉得结构还不错,就象我在原文中指出的,论证部分太单薄,好象字数不够,再多加点论证是不是时间就不够了呢?

gzj123UID: 192680

自改先
错别字：
已改
prodessions-professions
instuct-instruct
diffent-different
reseaching-research
valueable-valuable
dessertation-dissertation
judgement-dudgment
managerment-management

还没弄懂
pratical-
energitic
qualitive
academical ？？？