argument117 寄托4人组 8月26日作业

meautoUID: 2116250

Argument117
The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.
'Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores.'

In this memo, the business manager of Valu-Mart (VM) stores concludes that to gain profit VM should increase at all its stores the stock of home office machines as well as office supplies, which will make the office-supply departments the most profitable component of VM stores. However, close scrutiny of the cited evidence reveals that it lends little support to the manager's suggestion.

To begin with, the manager rests on a survey as evidence that people would take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Accordingly, the arguer relies on the assumption that they would buy home office machines, such as printers and small copy machines. Yet, we are not informed how the survey was conducted. It is entirely possible that the number of the respondents was too small to draw any insightful conclusion from. In addition, people who responded to the survey may exaggerate the actual amount of work saying that they need to bring extra work home, for sake of job promotions or salary increases. Without ruling out those possibilities, the survey is little indication of work-at-home trend. Even if the survey is statistically reliable, there might be no need for those people to buy any home office machines. Perhaps most of their work could be handled with the computers, or perhaps they have already purchased needed home office machines home. If the manager fails to consider these possibilities, his/her recommendation is unconvincing.

Even granted that people indeed would buy more home office machines recently, they may not necessarily buy VM products. Compared to products with other brands, the price and quality of VM products might be incredibly awful. For that matter, people would prefer products of other companies to VM home office machines, which in turn explains the plain sales in VM’s office-supply departments in the past. Unless the manager ensures that the products of VM can entice people’s buying, it is groundless to expect sales increase in VM office-supple departments.

Further assuming that office-supply departments will witness the gaining sales for office machines and items, the manager falsely concludes that the office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of VM stores. Anyhow, we are not told the sales information of other departments in VM stores. The only time the arguer can claim that office-supply departments gain the most profit is when he/she offers the profits information in statistics of all the VM stores and makes comparisons. Without this decisive step, it might be too presumptuous to judge the place of office supply departments according to sales of themselves.

In conclusion, this recommendation needs more evidence to justify the increase of office machines and items, and to judge the place of office supply departments in all VM stores.

bridgewalkerUID: 208595

place 是位置吧.....不可以么?

我明白你要表达的意思了，但好像没到位。

不过，我也没有想到更好的表达。

meautoUID: 2116250

people's buying没有问题.我想过用purchase但是感觉象是太正式了一点,我就没敢写了
place 是位置吧.....不可以么?
这个这个限时的都没写完...

bridgewalkerUID: 208595

Argument117
The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.
'Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores.'

In this memo, the business manager of Valu-Mart (VM) stores concludes that to gain profit VM should increase at all its stores the stock of home office machines as well as office supplies(这个包含前者，怎么能并列？), which will make the office-supply departments the most profitable component of VM stores. However, close scrutiny of the cited evidence reveals that it lends little support to the manager's suggestion.

To begin with, the manager rests on a survey as evidence that people would take more work home with them删 from the workplace than they were in the past. Accordingly, the arguer relies on the assumption that they would buy home office machines, such as printers and small copy machines. Yet, we are not informed how the survey was conducted. It is entirely possible that the number of the respondents was too small to draw any insightful(换significant?) conclusion from +it?. In addition, people who responded to the survey may exaggerate the actual amount of work saying that they need to bring extra work home, for sake of job promotions or salary increases. Without ruling out those possibilities, the survey is little indication of work-at-home trend. Even if the survey is statistically reliable, there might be no need for those people to buy any home office machines. Perhaps most of their work could be handled with the computers, or perhaps they have already purchased needed home office machines home. If the manager fails to consider these possibilities, his/her recommendation is unconvincing.
(为什么不分两段来写呀？survey攻击力度不够！我记得我写的Argument117是你拍的哦！)

Even granted that people indeed would buy more home office machines recently, they may not necessarily buy VM products. Compared to products with other brands, the price and quality of VM products might be incredibly awful. For that matter, people would prefer products of other companies to VM home office machines, which in turn explains the plain sales(什么意思？没见过，纯请教。) in VM’s office-supply departments in the past. Unless the manager ensures that the products of VM can entice people’s buying(purchase?), it is groundless to expect sales increase in VM office-supple departments.

Further assuming that office-supply departments will witness the gaining sales for office machines and items, the manager falsely concludes that the office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of VM stores. Anyhow, we are not told the sales information of other departments in VM stores. The only time the arguer can claim that office-supply departments gain the most profit is when he/she offers the profits information in statistics of all the VM stores and makes comparisons. Without this decisive(不当?) step, it might be too presumptuous(你好像很喜欢用它！) to judge the place(什么place?) of office supply departments according to sales of themselves.

In conclusion, this recommendation needs more evidence to justify the increase of office machines and items, and to judge the place of office supply departments in all VM stores.

(Argument117基本就这4个攻击点，建议1、2点分段驳斥。我跟G好像都写过。)

bridgewalkerUID: 208595

zhan!