issue51 我的第一篇目标4分

neilchiUID: 2184431

已经不大指望自己能拿5分了，4分满足，但愿ETS看到我写了这么多字也能给我4分。顺便问个问题可以不？刚才看到有人说Argument千万不要按北美范文写，为什么？

51"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

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The speaker asserts that the only way to make education effective is to design it meet the individual needs and interests of each student. I concede that, on that situation, students could learn more effectively. Yet effectiveness of teaching might not be improved, and the most essential is that when we talk about education, we should not ignore the goal of education.

How much efforts a student put into learning mostly due to how much he interests on his courses. You cannot wish a student devotes himself into a field that he never likes. And you cannot change someone’s interests because interests always come from a man’s nature. The sole way is to adjust education. When a student learns what he interests and what he needs, he is likely to exert all his potentials and will be excellent in his learning field. Mozart’s father gave Mozart infinite freedom to develop his interest and talent on music, which is the precondition of Mozart’s attainment. If his father forced him to apart from music, he might attain nothing.

However, effectiveness of education is not that of learning only. Although teaching students according to their needs and interests could make students’ learning effective, as to teaching effectiveness, it this kind of education will be tragedy. Not every father has teaching ability like Mozart’s father, so teachers take on the major duty of education. One teacher has to face many students. She cannot understand needs and interests of each student and meet them. To realize the education mentioned by the speaker, our society needs more teachers, which will save education but harm our society.

Actually, not only the effectiveness of teaching is ignored by the speaker, but also the goal of education. Education is not teaching someone what he wants to learn. Education must make educatees master life skills including logical thinking, communication with others and problem solving, no matter whether educatees interest on it. Education must improve educatees’ moral, sense of responsibility, fairness, love and etc. At the same time, educatee should learn how to learn for he might learn throughout his lifetime. These contents of education are absolutely necessary, no matter whether educatees like or not.

Education is the way our society offer us an equal opportunity to access success. Education it self should be equal to each educatee. But if we adjust education to meet individual needs and interests of each student, equality cannot be guaranteed. Teachers have preferences just like students have interests. This feature comes from human nature that no one could avoid. So maybe a teacher devotes her work on some students more than others. This is common in our daily life. If we cannot make out methods to avoid inequality, we cannot lead the education mentioned by the speaker to come true, let alone improve effectiveness.

In the final analysis, effectiveness of education includes both learning effectiveness and teaching effectiveness. A single teacher cannot emphasize on every student and ensure equality during teaching. The speaker ignores the final goal and the equality of education, although his assertion focuses on student—the objective, even the core of education.

wp123UID: 2187508

要是我评价的话,会给~呵呵~ 但是,我是通过看了这么多同学的文章来给的.
ETS有一个6分的文章.写了374个字.ARGUMENT关于电影公司的一个.
不看广告,看疗效~

[ 本帖最后由 wp123 于 2006-7-26 04:48 编辑 ]

neilchiUID: 2184431

it this 实在是手误……
每次都He or she好麻烦，印象中pp3的范文有一篇好像说到教师就She了，说到别的就He了，不过真到了考试的时候还是会写He or she
句式我会改的，thx
至于突然提到社会那个，其实还有两句，当时一闪而过，很兴奋，发现还能引申到社会，结构忘记写了……
argument的问题我懂了，就是说大家结构都差不多，ETS看多了，会吐……那么Argument一般要写多少字呢？pp3里面6分的上了600的，我觉得我好像还没法保证自己稳上500……
最后问下：我的这个issue51 能得4分不？这是我特别关心的一点……

wp123UID: 2187508

51"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

------------------------------


The speaker asserts that the only way to make education effective is to design it 加个tomeet the individual needs and interests of each student. I concede that, on that situation, students could learn more effectively. Yet effectiveness of teaching might not be improved, and the most essential is that when we talk about education, we should not ignore the goal of education.

How much efforts既然都可数了，为什么还用much a student put into learning mostly due to how much he interests on his courses.说一个人的时候不知道性别最好说he or she You cannot wish a student devotes himself into a field that he never likes. And you cannot change someone’s interests because interests always come from a man’s nature. The sole way is to adjust education. When a student learns what he interests and what he needs, he is likely to exert all his potentials and will be excellent in his learning field. Mozart’s father gave Mozart infinite freedom to develop his interest and talent on music, which is the precondition of Mozart’s attainment. If his father forced him to apart from music, he might attain nothing.

However, effectiveness of education is not that of learning only. Although teaching students according to their needs and interests could make students’ learning effective, as to teaching effectiveness, it this kind ofit this 怎么回事 education will be tragedy. Not every father has teaching ability like Mozart’s father, so teachers take on the major duty of education. One teacher has to face many students. She性别歧视，男人也可以当老师 cannot understand needs and interests of each student and meet them. To realize the education mentioned by the speaker, our society needs more teachers, which will save education but harm our society.为什么会伤害社会？突然出来这个，又没给原因！！！！

Actually, not only the effectiveness of teaching is ignored by the speaker, but also the goal of education. Education is not teaching someone what he wants to learn. Education must make educatees master life skills including logical thinking, communication with others and problem solving, no matter whether educatees interest on it. Education must improve educatees’ moral, sense of responsibility, fairness, love and etc.以上三个EDUCATION开头的句子，想办法半成一个长句加一个短句。这样铿锵有力。 At the same time, educatee should learn how to learn for he might learn throughout his lifetime. These contents of education are absolutely necessary, no matter whether educatees like or not.

Education is the way our society offer us an equal opportunity to access success. Education it self should be equal to each educatee.以上两个EDUCATION开头的句子可以合并成一个。 But if we adjust education to meet individual needs and interests of each student, equality cannot be guaranteed. Teachers have preferences just like students have interests. This feature comes from human nature that no one could avoid. So maybe a teacher devotes her work on some students more than others. This is common in our daily life. If we cannot make out methods to avoid inequality, we cannot lead the education mentioned by the speaker to come true, let alone improve effectiveness.

In the final analysis, effectiveness of education includes both learning effectiveness and teaching effectiveness.前后同一个名词，可省略一个。 A single teacher cannot emphasize on every student and ensure equality during teaching. The speaker ignores the final goal and the equality of education, although his assertion focuses on student—the objective, even the core of education.
楼主写的思路还好，问题就是词汇变化不多。多多做下词汇变换。

wp123UID: 2187508

先回答你上面的汉语问题,不写北美范文是因为大家都那么写.而且很容易被模版忽悠了自己的想法.以为用模版写了400多个字就OK了,其实自己的想法都没有答出来.
ETS的范文跟280很不一样,多看看5,6分的范文才是根本.

wp123UID: 2187508

楼主,看在你这么晚还在的份上,我帮你改个先~等我一小会哦~