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[i习作temp] issue2 希望大家耐心看看 虽然写的不怎么好 但给点建议吧 谢谢了! [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-8-8 01:15:48 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Does competition ultimately give society more benefit than detriment?Does it influence our activities?Is it more of a blessing or a curse?Opinions among people vary considerably because of their different experiences and conflicting values.As far as I am concerned,generally speaking,competition contributes to progress in society.
Society is composed of individuals,and competition greatly forces each individual to achieve a headway.Individuals who participate in competition have the desire for excellence so that they are able to win the competition.As a consequence,they take enormous enthusiasm for improving themselves.Finally,those who never give up,no matter whether he or she suceeds or not,are inevitable to make a obvious progress.For instance,Chinese college students feels extremely competitive when they search for jobs.It is amazingly universial to encounter the scene that several candidates compete for even a small job in a job fair for the reason that there are a large population and finite opportunities for recruiting in China .All of the candidates long for being recruited.Certainly,there is no escaping the fact that each of them make sufficent preparation such as enhancing wrting abilities,speaking abilities and social abilities.Although only a few of them can arrive at their goals,those who fail are likely to gain experience at least.Thus,at the time when they face with another opportunity,confidence will fill with them.
Competition leads to the improvment of effeciency of entire society.It is competition,making companies reform their technologies and provide better service from which consumers can benefit.Similarly,competitions among political parties result in generating benefical and appealing policies to the public.Consider several computer corporations such as SONY,IBM and LENOVO so on.Much emphasis have been concentrated on technology innovations so that new products take the place of old ones frequently.Certainly,each year,vast expense have been spent on technology innovations.Coustomers can enjoy the happiness of using the novel technology in a short time .According to a recent survey,almost every party which is in the process of election in any country perform benefical and appealing policies to their pubic.Obviously,from the two samples above,we can realize that competition shows vast power on enhancing the effeciency of entire society.
Admitedly,competition bring us a series of negative effects while positive effects caused by it are much more remakable in our minds.If competition neglects the domination of law and ethnics,society suffers.As a matter of fact,people define competition as a game which one must win.Consequently,the conception of competition has embeded in persons'brain deeply.For example,some individuals or groups try to defeat other competitors by the method of undermining them.Annother illustration is that an increasing number of persons are inclined to cheat in some significant examnations recetly.Nevertheless,the following success of immoral competition mentioned above can not last long for the reason that the ultimate goal of competition is self-improvment.Thus.Only by self-improvment can persons have the real success.
In summary,from what has been discussed above we can arrive at the conslusion safely that competition contributes to progress in society within the control of law and ethics.At the same time,we ought to  try our best to alter the conception of competition which embeds in persons'minds firmly and take some relevant measures to prevent these immoral competition's reemerage.
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沙发
发表于 2009-8-12 20:10:56 |只看该作者
鄙人也是新鸟,今天才写了第一篇完整的issue,也是拿这篇开刀的,所以看到楼主写的就进来晃晃,因为本人也水平有限,所以弱弱地说一点,希望能对楼主有帮助:段与段之间的衔接不太好,尤其是正文段,建议多用点转折连接的用语。其他的有些粗心的拼写或语法错误建议楼主写完之后稍微检查一下。

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板凳
发表于 2009-8-12 23:57:51 |只看该作者
谢谢你的建议啊 你什么时候考啊 我9.7号考 需不需要互改啊

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RE: issue2 希望大家耐心看看 虽然写的不怎么好 但给点建议吧 谢谢了! [修改]
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issue2 希望大家耐心看看 虽然写的不怎么好 但给点建议吧 谢谢了!
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-993555-1-1.html
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