【10G10Hawk】小组8月11日任务——Argument209

谦行天下UID: 2797557

Argument209

TOPIC: ARGUMENT209 - The following recommendation was made by the Human Resources Manager to the board of directors of the Fancy Toy Company.
"In the last three quarters of this year, under the leadership of our president, Pat Salvo, our profits have fallen considerably. Thus, we should ask for her resignation in return for a generous severance package. In Pat's place, we should appoint Rosa Winnings. Rosa is currently president of Starlight Jewelry, a company whose profits have increased dramatically over the past several years. Although we will have to pay Rosa twice the salary that Pat has been receiving, it will be well worth it because we can soon expect our profits to increase considerably."

互改顺序：

11-6-15-13-9-2-10

sharonyeUID: 2862009

In this argument, the author advise their company to hire Rosa, currently president of Startlight Jewelry to take place of their currently prisident, Pat Salvo, for the profits of their company have fallen considerably in the last three quarters of this year when PS was in charge of the company, while Rosa's company has increased its profits over the past several years. His suggestion seems reasonable at first glance, bue a careful consideration of it would
reveal several flaws that wesken his conclusion.
In the first place, there is no evidence suggest it is due to PS that their profits have fallen. Maybe PS has already take some efficient measures to raise their profits, but it need a long time to see the final effects, after all, PS will be more familiar of their company and could come up with a strategy
more suitable to earn
money. Supremly, three quarters of a year is not long enough a time compared to long-term development, if PS can make profits by some useful solutions. Or it is also possible that the market for the products of the company is not splendid as before, so the decline of the profits is a common phenomenon and is not to change by changing the prisident.
Granted it is really PS's fault that caused the declination of profits, but no one is sure whether hiring Rosa would be of some help. Although the profits of Rosa's company have increased, we can not ignore the work of other people in his company, as we all know, team work is always the crucial factor lead a company to succeed. Or even Rosa is good at managing his company, the function mold of the two companies is also different, can we assure Rosa's spirit and measures of running a Jewelry
company is still fit for the office the author is working in?

What is more, considering the salary of Rosa is twice as much as Pat，we have no idea whether the potential incraesed profits brought by Rosa can make up to his excessive salary. And it may be a long time before Rosa’s measure make a difference, during this period of time, will the company have spare money to pay for Rosa? It is general rule that the leader of a company alwalys earns much.
To sum up, the arguer’s recommendation is not persuasive as it stands, before I can accept his advice, he must find out the disadvantage of
Pat’s management and Posa’s advantage. To better evaluate the argument, he/she would better calculate what we can really get if we employ Rosa.

sharonyeUID: 2862009

2

czlilacUID: 2842584

TOPIC: ARGUMENT209 - The following recommendation was made by the Human Resources Manager to the board of directors of the Fancy Toy Company.

"In the last three quarters of this year, under the leadership of our president, Pat Salvo, our profits have fallen considerably. Thus, we should ask for her resignation in return for a generous severance package. In Pat's place, we should appoint Rosa Winnings. Rosa is currently president of Starlight Jewelry, a company whose profits have increased dramatically over the past several years. Although we will have to pay Rosa twice the salary that Pat has been receiving, it will be well worth it because we can soon expect our profits to increase considerably."
WORDS: 374
TIME: 00:32:54
DATE: 2010-8-11 15:10:31

Based on the evidence that their profits have significantly declined during the last three years, the manager recommends the to resign the president Pat Salvo, while hire Rosa Winnings, who is a president of Starlight Jewelry, and the profits of jewelry have risen dramatically over the last several years. It seems plausible for the manager to achieve this recommendation at first glance, while the evidences involved are suffered from several flaws.

Granted changing the president will contribute to make profits, the author fails to consider that the decline in profits is ascribed to many factors. Perhaps, the appearance of their productions are not satisfied with the consumers, and they the price of the toys are much higher than the competitors, or the demands of market for toys have dwindled in last three years. It is, therefore, unfair to ascribe all the reasons to Pat Salvo, and before clarifying the true reasons result in the declining of profits, even changing the president will hardly benefit.

Further more, does the increasing in profits of Starlight Jewelry's be contributed by Rasa? Is there any other reason that renders it? The author even has not aware of the concrete reason why Starlight's profits have raised during last several reasons. It is completely possible that jewelries have been very popular in these years, and they have taken many other measures to sell their jewelries, such as ADs.

Even the above premises are true. It can not guarantee that Rosa will help them make profits and change the current dilemma. First of all, they have to pay Rosa 100% salary more by Pat Salvo, it dose not save money at all. In addition, Common sense is that different craft has differing problems, Rosa's experience in Starlight entirely possible do little help to them, because toys are quite cheap than jewelries, and the way to selling than are much different. Without the aptitude of Rosa, and his/her concrete former experience in management and market, we can come to the conclusion that he will help them go out of dilemma.

To sum up, to convince me, the author should provide more persuasive information. For instance, the comprehensive assessment to Rosa, and what is the true reason leads to the decline in the profits during last 3 years, or it is unfair for the manager to ascribe all responsibilities to Pat Salvo.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------1改---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Based on the evidence that their profits have significantly declined during the last three years, the manager recommends the toy company to dismiss the president Pat Salvo, while hire Rosa Winnings, who is a president of Starlight Jewelry, and the profits of jewelry have raised dramatically over the last several years. It seems plausible for the manager to come to this recommendation at first glance, while the involved evidences are suffered from several flaws.

Granted changing the president will contribute to making profits is unwarranted assumption, the author fails to consider that the decline in profits is ascribed to many factors. Perhaps, the consumers are not satisfied with the appearance of their products, or the price of their toys are much higher than those of the competitors’, or the demands of market for toys have dwindled in last three years. It is, therefore, unfair to charge all reasons on Pat, and before clarifying the true reasons result in the declining profits, even changing the president will hardly benefit.

Further more, there is no direct evidence indicates that Rosa certainly contribute to the increase of the profits of Starlight Jewelry. The author even has not been aware of the concrete reason why Starlight's profits have raised during last several reasons. It is completely possible that jewelries have been very popular in these years, or the prices of jewelries have soared significantly, or they have taken many other measures to sell their jewelries, such as ADs. Common knowledge is that jewelry the well publicizes can often contribute to the sales. The manager should rule out the possibilities which have nothing to do with Rosa’s competent.

Even if the above premises are true, the manager can not guarantee that Rosa will help them make profits and change the current dilemma. First of all, they have to pay Rosa 100% salary more by Pat Salvo, it dose not save money at all. In addition, Common sense is that different craft has differing problems, Rosa's experience in Starlight entirely possible do little help to them, because toys are quite cheap than jewelries, and the way to selling than are much different. Without the aptitude of Rosa and his/her concrete former experience in management and market, we can come to the conclusion that Rosa will undoubtedly help them make great profits.

To sum up, in order to convince me, the author should provide more persuasive information. For instance, the comprehensive assessment to Rosa, and what is the true reason leads to the decline in the profits during last 3 years, or it is unfair for the manager to ascribe all responsibilities to Pat Salvo.

austen06UID: 2841836

ARGUMENT209 - The following recommendation was made by the Human Resources Manager to the board of directors of the Fancy Toy Company.

"In the last three quarters of this year, under the leadership of our president, Pat Salvo, our profits have fallen considerably. Thus, we should ask for her resignation in return for a generous severance package. In Pat's place, we should appoint Rosa Winnings. Rosa is currently president of Starlight Jewelry, a company whose profits have increased dramatically over the past several years. Although we will have to pay Rosa twice the salary that Pat has been receiving, it will be well worth it because we can soon expect our profits to increase considerably."

In this argument, the Human Resources Manager suggests that Fancy Toy Company (FTC) should replace the president, Pat Salvo with Rosa Winnings who is currently the president of Starlight Jewerly (SJ). To substantiate his conclusion, the manager cites that the profits in FTC have fallen considerably. Also he points out the SJ's profits increase dramatically over the several years. However, this argument has suffered from several logical flaws which renders it unconvincing.

To begin with, the manager unfairly assumes that Pat is responsible for the declining profits of SJ. However, it might not necessary the case. It is entirely possible that the overall economic situation is deteriorating. For that matter, every toy company in the country has experienced huge profit decline. It is also quite possible that the decline profits are due to a terrible investment decision which Pat had no control over, and it is not she that should be blamed. Without considering and ruling out these possible explanations for the declining of the FTC, it is unjustifiable for the manager to conclude Pat should be blamed.

Moreover, the manager unfairly assumes that Rosa contributes to the increasing profits of SJ. However, this might not necessarily be the case. Since we are not informed how long has Rosa been the president, it is quite possible that Rosa took the job a short time ago and it is her precedent should be credited for the increasing profits. Unless the manager can provide us more information about Rosa's working abilities and her overall influence on SJ, the manager's claim that she brings profits to SJ is dubious.

Granted that Rosa is indeed attributable to SJ's increasing profits, the manager also ingores the possible difference between the two companies which might help to bring about a different result for FTC. Common sense and experience informs us that the management in different types of companies are quite different, because they will face different customers and marketing in each company is striking distinct. Even though Rosa can run SJ well, it serves no indication that she can also manage FTC well.

Finally yet importantly, even assuming Rosa would beable to bring profits to FTC if she becomes the president, the manager unjustifiably profits are soon to skyrocket. yet it might not be the case. There are other factors which carry considerable weigh in deciding the profitability of a company other than the leadership. For example, the teamwork spirit. If there is no teamwork spirit in a company, it is unlikely this company would ever profit, let alone within a short time.

To sum up, the manager's suggestion is not persuasive. To bolster this argument, the manager must show that Pat is indeed responsible for the declining profit in FTC, and Rosa is indeed credit for the increasing profit in SJ. Also more evidence should be offered to ensure Rosa's working abilities.

自改===================================

In this argument, the Human Resources Manager suggests that Fancy Toy Company (FTC) should replace the president, Pat Salvo with Rosa Winnings who is currently the president of Starlight Jewelry (SJ). To substantiate his conclusion, the manager cites that the profits in FTC have fallen considerably. Also he points out the SJ's profits increase dramatically over the several years. However, this argument has suffered from several logical flaws which render it unconvincing.
To begin with, the manager unfairly assumes that Pat is responsible for the declining profits of SJ. However, it might not necessary the case. It is entirely possible that the overall economic situation is deteriorating. For that matter, every toy company in the country has experienced huge profit decline. It is also quite possible that the decline profits are due to a terrible investment decision which Pat had no control over, and she is not to blame for this decline. Without considering and ruling out these possible explanations for the declining of the FTC, it is unjustifiable for the manager to conclude Pat should be blamed.
Moreover, the manager unfairly assumes that Rosa contributes to the increasing profits of SJ. However, this might not necessarily be the case. Since we are not informed how long has Rosa been the president, it is quite possible that Rosa took the job a short time ago and it is her precedent should be credited for the increasing profits. Unless the manager can provide us more information about Rosa's working abilities and her overall influence on SJ, the manager's claim that she brought profits to SJ is dubious.
Granted that Rosa is indeed attributable to SJ's increasing profits, the manager also ignores the possible difference between the two companies which might help to bring about a different result for FTC. Common sense and experience informs us that the management in different types of companies is quite different, because they will face different customers and marketing in each company is striking distinct. Even though Rosa can run SJ well, it serves no indication that she can also manage FTC well.
Finally yet importantly, even assuming Rosa would be able to bring profits to FTC if she becomes the president, the manager unjustifiably assumes that profits will increase and within a short time. Yet it might not be the case. The leadership could not bring about profits single-handedly; other factors like the worker's motivation and the competitors' strategy also carry considerable weigh in deciding a company could profit or not. Even if FTC could profit under the leadership of Rosa, the profit might not come quickly. It takes time for Rosa to adjust or change the policies of FTC. After Rosa's reform completes, it takes further time for the customers to renew their ideas about the products and services provided by FTC and make purchase decisions if they want. Therefore, whether FTC could profit under the leadership of Rosa is dubious, let alone with a short time.
To sum up, the manager's suggestion is not persuasive. To bolster this argument, the manager must show that Pat is indeed responsible for the declining profit in FTC, and Rosa is indeed credit for the increasing profit in SJ. Also more evidence should be offered to ensure Rosa's working abilities.

agnes2010UID: 2794922

原来没请假成 现在被T啦... 不过还会继续关注小组的动态的~ 另外自己再找找思路  大家加油啊！！！小谦加油~~~Rose加油~所有人加油哦！！！

agnes2010UID: 2794922

加油加油加油！！！！！！！

hwslqcUID: 2861597

限时果然写的不行啊！！！！
TOPIC: ARGUMENT209 - The following recommendation was made by the Human Resources Manager to the board of directors of the Fancy Toy Company.

"In the last three quarters of this year, under the leadership of our president, Pat Salvo, our profits have fallen considerably. Thus, we should ask for her resignation in return for a generous severance package. In Pat's place, we should appoint Rosa Winnings. Rosa is currently president of Starlight Jewelry, a company whose profits have increased dramatically over the past several years. Although we will have to pay Rosa twice the salary that Pat has been receiving, it will be well worth it because we can soon expect our profits to increase considerably."
WORDS: 471          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2010-8-11 16:57:57

The arguer claims that if the Fancy Toy Company(FTC) can increase their profits quickly if they appoint Rosa Winning(RW) instead of Pat Salvo(PS) based on the fallen profits in the last three quarters of this year in FTC and the increasing profits in Starlight Jewelry(SJ), of which the RW is president, seems to be sound and convincing. However, after close scrutiny of these evidences reveals that none of them can lend credible support to the conclusion. The reasons are stated as below.

First of all, the arguer does not provide and information to build a causal relationship between the fallen and soar of profits and the president of each company. It is highly possible the profit is mainly determined by the economic environment in which the company lives. If the economic environment is awful, it is definitely will lead the fallen of profits and the present of the company actually can do nothing to stop it. Or the government's attitude towards the company heavily influences the profit of the company in a period of time. So the arguer cannot use the profit of a company to represent the ability of a president.

Even if the profit can show the ability of the president of a company, the arguer cannot draw the conclusion that RW is better than PS from the incomplete comparison. Chances are that the profit of FTC increased magically in last ten or more years except last three quarters of this year and the profit of SJ is only half or one fourth of the profit of FTC after the increase. In such case, PS is obviously a better president than RW. Without ruling out possibilities like I mentioned above, the conclusion would be undermined.

Even the two premise of this conclusion are both convincing, the arguer overlooked the difference between FTC and SJ, which will mislead the readers. As we know FTC make profits from toys while SJ does not, which means the demand of the presidents of these two companies is different. Maybe RW can do very well in SJ, where she is very familiar and will act more groundless than PS in FTC. Or even worse, she may keep using the way as she use in SJ
to tackle with the problems in FCT, which would lead the opposite direction of increasing the profit.

After pointing out so many flaws in this argument, now we can say that the evidence cited by the arguer cannot be relied on by the conclusion. Maybe the recommendation is reasonable, the arguer have to do more practical and professional research before claiming so. For example, he should provide more convincing evidence about the abilities of PS and RW, the difference and similarity between FTC and SJ and the profits of these two companies in the past years.

hwslqcUID: 2861597

In this argument, the Human Resources Manager suggests that Fancy Toy Company (FTC) should replace the president, Pat Salvo with Rosa Winnings who is currently the president of Starlight Jewelry (SJ). To substantiate his conclusion, the manager cites that the profits in FTC have fallen considerably. Also he points out the SJ's profits increase dramatically over the several years. However, this argument has suffered from several logical flaws which render it unconvincing.

To begin with, the manager unfairly assumes that Pat is responsible for the declining profits of SJ. However, it might not necessary the case. It is entirely possible that the overall economic situation is deteriorating. For that matter, every toy company in the country has experienced huge profit decline. It is also quite possible that the decline profits are due to a terrible investment decision which Pat had no control over, and it is not she that should be blamed【改成分句可能比较好】. Without considering and ruling out these possible explanations for the declining of the FTC, it is unjustifiable for the manager to conclude Pat should be blamed.

Moreover, the manager unfairly assumes that Rosa contributes to the increasing profits of SJ. However, this might not necessarily be the case. Since we are not informed how long has Rosa been the president, it is quite possible that Rosa took the job a short time ago and it is her precedent should be credited for the increasing profits. Unless the manager can provide us more information about Rosa's working abilities and her overall influence on SJ, the manager's claim that she brings【brought】 profits to SJ is dubious.【这段可能和上端放在一起，归纳为企业利润的升降不一定和president有因果关系比较好。】

Granted that Rosa is indeed attributable to SJ's increasing profits, the manager also ingores the possible difference between the two companies which might help to bring about a different result for FTC. Common sense and experience informs us that the management in different types of companies are【is】 quite different, because they will face different customers and marketing in each company is striking distinct. Even though Rosa can run SJ well, it serves no indication that she can also manage FTC well.

Finally yet importantly, even assuming Rosa would be able to bring profits to FTC if she becomes the president, the manager unjustifiably profits are soon to skyrocket. Yet it might not be the case. There are other factors which carry considerable weigh in deciding the profitability of a company other than the leadership. For example, the teamwork spirit. If there is no teamwork spirit in a company, it is unlikely this company would ever profit, let alone within a short time.【这段的攻击点第一句说的是即使R能带来利润也不一定那么快。但后半段又是说决定企业利润的有其它factors。加个过渡句比较好~】

To sum up, the manager's suggestion is not persuasive. To bolster this argument, the manager must show that Pat is indeed responsible for the declining profit in FTC, and Rosa is indeed credit for the increasing profit in SJ. Also more evidence should be offered to ensure Rosa's working abilities.

ROse_MaryUID: 2790464

In this recommendation, the manager tends to replace the recent president Pat Salvo by president of Starlight Jewelry Rosa Winnings because of the decreasing profits in the last three quarters. However, the manager fails to take other factors into account that may lead to the fluctuation in profits of specific companies.

To begin with, three quarters is too short a period to judge the achievement of president. The manager fails to rule out other factors that may cause the fall of profits in last three quarters. The short-term shift of the consumers’ interest in the toy industry, for example, might lead to a fall of profits in the overall industry because of another alternative emerging such as video games for children. To the Fancy Toy Company, the long-term profits are also an important index to assess the managing ability of president. Perhaps the profits over the past several years( the manager judge Rosa Winnings by the profits over the past several years) were increasing in a row, but because of the seasonal factors, such as the baby boom this year, which led to the considerable decrease of the baby toys the profits in the last three quarter fall drastically. Without the comparison of profits in the long-term period and among other toy company, the manager cannot simply conclude that the wrong leadership directly cause the fall of their profits and ask her leave.

Moreover, similarly, only by the increasing profits in the past several years cannot we consider that Rosa Winnings has the better ability to lead the company. The increasing profits in the past several years may exist in all companies in the jewelry industry because of the special change in jewelry market. For instance, with the rise of the living standard, more people like to buy jewelry in the past several years leading to the great demand for jewelry. Thus, from the analysis above, it is unreasonable for the manager asserts that changing president will certainly give rise to the profits.

Finally, even if Rosa Winnings run Starlight Jewelry by use of Rosa’s outstanding ability of leadership, there is no evidence showing that the Fancy Toy Company will get the same result as Starlight Jewelry. These two companies are quite different, even not in the same industry. We know nothing about the economic conditions of the companies which are certainly connected with the working of president. If there are lots of differences in the operational model, the scale and the management system between the two companies, Rosa must need a period to get him or herself used to the environment in the Fancy Toy Company. Whether Rosa will make the profits keep rising remains unknown to us.

In conclusion, the board must consider the general status of the Fancy Toy Company and the overall industry, otherwise it may be even worse.

ROse_MaryUID: 2790464

改Adam

建议修改
good expression
comments


WORDS: 471          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2010-8-11 16:57:57

The arguer claims that if the Fancy Toy Company(FTC) can increase their profits quickly if they appoint Rosa Winning(RW) instead of Pat Salvo(PS) based on the fallen profits in the last three quarters of this year in FTC and the increasing profits in Starlight Jewelry(SJ), of which the（写错了，人名前怎么有the） RW is president, seems（seem的主语是？这句话太长了，看起来有点累） to be sound and convincing. However, after close scrutiny of these evidences reveals that none of them can lend credible support to the conclusion. The reasons are stated as below.

First of all, the arguer does not provide and（any） information to build a causal relationship between the fallen and soar of profits and the president of each company. It is highly possible the profit is mainly determined by the economic environment in which the company lives. 【If the economic environment is awful, it is definitely will lead the fallen of profits and the present of the company actually can do nothing to stop it. Or the government's attitude towards the company heavily influences the profit of the company in a period of time.这两句的分析有点单薄，结合这两个公司谈谈，否则还是有点虚】 So the arguer cannot use the profit of a company to represent the ability of a president.

Even if the profit can show the ability of the president of a company, the arguer cannot draw the conclusion that RW is better than PS from the incomplete comparison. Chances are that the profit of FTC increased magically in last ten or more years except last three quarters of this year and the profit of SJ is 【only half or one fourth of the profit of FTC after the increase.这个可能性举得牵强，你自己也不清楚这两个公司的规模大小，怎么可以直接用利润多少来比较呢？还可以说说两个公司的市场策略，政府对他们的政策和客户群这些都是不同的】
】 In such case, PS is obviously a better president than RW. Without ruling out possibilities like I mentioned above, the conclusion would be undermined.

Even the two premise of this conclusion are both convincing, the arguer overlooked the difference between FTC and SJ, which will mislead the readers. As we know FTC make profits from toys while SJ does not, which means the demand of the presidents of these two companies is different. Maybe RW can do very well in SJ, where she is very familiar and will act more groundless than PS in FTC. Or even worse, she may keep using the way as she use in SJto tackle with the problems in FCT, which would lead the opposite direction of increasing the profit.

After pointing out so many flaws in this argument, now we can say that the evidence cited by the arguer cannot be relied on by the conclusion. Maybe the recommendation is reasonable, the arguer have to do more practical and professional research before claiming so. For example, he should provide more convincing evidence about the abilities of PS and RW, the difference and similarity between FTC and SJ and the profits of these two companies in the past years. 例子举得挺好的，最后一段让我觉得没有那么模板化。
我现在才发现大家真的都在写XDF式的让步模板，以至于让我都疑惑了，如果大家都能写的话，那么哪里还能分别出哪篇更具有攻击力呢，似乎只要按照让步的模式来看，攻击力都是很强的。可是让我自己行程自己的逻辑链，又很难。唉。我自己的看法，，可以忽略。。

PsMaggieUID: 2861847

TOPIC: ARGUMENT209 - The following recommendation was made by the Human Resources Manager to the board of directors of the Fancy Toy Company.

"In the last three quarters of this year, under the leadership of our president, Pat Salvo, our profits have fallen considerably. Thus, we should ask for her resignation in return for a generous severance package. In Pat's place, we should appoint Rosa Winnings. Rosa is currently president of Starlight Jewelry, a company whose profits have increased dramatically over the past several years. Although we will have to pay Rosa twice the salary that Pat has been receiving, it will be well worth it because we can soon expect our profits to increase considerably."
WORDS: 510          TIME: 00:27:54          DATE: 2010/8/11 22:36:26

The manager recommends that Human Resources(H.R) should appoint Rosa Winnings(RW) to be their president. To justify his assertion, he cites the fallen profits in the past three quarters of this year and the Starlight Jewelry(SJ) has increased its profits dramatically over the past several years. However, after a careful examination, I would point out plenty of flaws in the argument as I would discuss below.

At the outset, There is no evidence to show that the fallen profits of Fancy Toy Company(FTC) is relevant to Pat Salvo(PS) directly. Although PS is the president, it doesn't mean that he could make decision all by himself. The company's policy of making profits may be carried out by a whole group of managers who come from many apartments. And even if all the decisions are made by his own, there are many other factors may play a vital role on this case. Perhaps the stock wobbled and fell thus influenced FTC's profits in a quick time. Perhaps the employers have changed a lot in the past three quarters of this year which made an unstable of the profits.

Secondly, we have to notice that FTC is a toy company while SJ is a jewelry company. Rosa may did a great job in SJ by occasion of her talent in her major but it doesn't mean that she would also do a good job in toy company. Since there are many different in these two companies, such as the produce of the products may totally different from each other, the design of the products is different and also the age groups of the customers are different at all, the one who are good at working in a jewelry company may probably not good at working at a toy company. Thus in this case, we can't conclude that RW led the SJ to increase its profits so FTC could also employ RW as well.

What's more, this statistic of FTC’ study only about three quarters of this year while the statistic of SJ’s study several years. Thus no solid evidence has given to bolster the reliable of the formal research. Three quarters of a year isn't long enough to justify a president's ability and also the situation of an enterprise. Perhaps the company just met the down period of its time. Perhaps the profits the president earned had earned far more high than the three quarters after which could totally fulfill the lost in the three quarters of this year. And also, the president may lead the company to increase the profits in the next seasons. Therefore, the manager need to make a follow research of the profits that the company would make in the next seasons or years otherwise he can't make this conclusion so hasty.

In sum, the editorial doesn't state as it stands. To strengthen the argument, the author needs to make a clearer examining about the sakes of the profits' decreasing of FTC. In addition, he also need to come up with a further research of the profits of FTC in a longer time.

austen06UID: 2841836

TOPIC: ARGUMENT209 - The following recommendation was made by the Human Resources Manager to the board of directors of the Fancy Toy Company.

"In the last three quarters of this year, under the leadership of our president, Pat Salvo, our profits have fallen considerably. Thus, we should ask for her resignation in return for a generous severance package. In Pat's place, we should appoint Rosa Winnings. Rosa is currently president of Starlight Jewelry, a company whose profits have increased dramatically over the past several years. Although we will have to pay Rosa twice the salary that Pat has been receiving, it will be well worth it because we can soon expect our profits to increase considerably."
WORDS: 374
TIME: 00:32:54
DATE: 2010-8-11 15:10:31

Based on the evidence that their profits have significantly declined during the last three years, the manager recommends the to resign the president Pat Salvo, while hire Rosa Winnings, who is a president of Starlight Jewelry, and the profits of jewelry have risen dramatically over the last several years. It seems plausible for the manager to achieve this recommendation at first glance, while the evidences involved are suffered from several flaws.

Granted （没有让步，不应该用granted）changing the president will contribute to make profits, the author fails to consider that the decline in profits is ascribed to many factors. Perhaps, the appearance of their productions are not satisfied（你为什么不用个被动语态？） with the consumers, and they the price of the toys are much higher than （those of ) the competitors, or the demands of market for toys have dwindled in last three years. It is, therefore, unfair to ascribe all the reasons to Pat Salvo (最好换个说法）, and before clarifying the true reasons result in the declining of profits, even changing the president will hardly benefit.

Further more, does the increasing in profits of Starlight Jewelry's be contributed by Rasa?（不要用问句，直接陈述） Is there any other reason that renders it? （你为什么要连用两个问句？直接陈述不好么？！）The author even has not aware（be aware of) of the concrete reason why Starlight's profits have raised during last several reasons. It is completely possible that jewelries have been very popular in these years, and they have taken many other measures to sell their jewelries, such as ADs. （展开）

Even the above premises are true. （even是一个从句，你的主句在哪？）It can not guarantee that Rosa will help them make profits and change the current dilemma. First of all, they have to pay Rosa 100% salary more by Pat Salvo, it dose not save money at all. In addition, Common sense is that different craft has differing problems, Rosa's experience in Starlight entirely possible do little help to them, because toys are quite cheap than jewelries, and the way to selling than are much different. Without the aptitude of Rosa, and his/her concrete former experience in management and market, we can come to the conclusion that he will help them go out of dilemma.（用词之前请确定这个词的准确意思）

To sum up, to convince me, （调整一下语句，两个to连用，感觉不好）the author should provide more persuasive information. For instance, the comprehensive assessment to Rosa, and what is the true reason leads to the decline in the profits during last 3 years, or it is unfair for the manager to ascribe all responsibilities to Pat Salvo.

强烈建议把语法复习一下！语法错误使得文章不连贯。