GRE作文6分教学博客

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杨家齐 发表于 2014-11-21 18:16
看了王老师的分享和点评，很受鼓舞。一战aw时，已经列了所有issue提纲（自己简单想的，没有按照1+3模式来 ...

感谢关注
不太清楚你说GRE作文爱考察逻辑是什么意思
在我看来 只要你能够做到 主旨句和主题句的呼应 以及例子能够切实支持分论点就可以了  
关于阅历的问题 确实需要长期积累 但是 我们也应该对自己有信心 毕竟受过几年的高等教育 有些东西还是知道的 我一般不建议去讲名人历史事件 而应该从身边的经验入手 比如尝试思想实验
我也是一把年纪才达到6分的水平 对于大多数同学来说 4分其实并不应该那么难 估计还是思路和语言方面存在一些明显的问题  希望在我的帮助下 你能拿到4分或更高
ETS有一个服务 可以告知你issue和argument独立的分数 可能要花一些钱  你可以考虑一下 ~~~

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raikkonen36 发表于 2014-11-21 19:31
Issue 141.It is more harmful to compromise one's own beliefs than to adhere to them.

Write a resp ...

Issue 141.It is more harmful to compromise one's own beliefs than to adhere to them.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Whether this statement holds true or not depends on the social roles of the people who hold the beliefs and the foundation of the beliefs.  In the field of politics, legislators and government officials have to compromise their beliefs about specific issues in order to reach consensus in the process of policy making. For the judges in the courts, they need to adhere their beliefs in the rule of laws. For scientists and researchers, they should examine their own beliefs critically using empirical evidence.  

  

TS: Whether the statement holds true depends on the fields in which the belief is challenged.  For religious people, it is more desirable to adhere to their beliefs in order to remain spiritually healthy. For scientists and politicians, however, it makes more sense to compromise one’s beliefs that are challenged by empirical data or political reality.  

ts1: Religious people should stay faithful to their beliefs in God or other doctrines which form the essense of their spiritual identities.
- many religious people grew up with their religious beliefs
- they draw strength and energy from the beleifs
- the religious beliefs are also the foundation of the religious communty
- things will fall apart for them if they compromise their own beliefs

ts 2: scientists should test their beliefs against the empirical evidence
- science is an open system in which all theories are refutable
- scientists are ready to abandon their own theories in light of new evidence
- they believe their theories are justified with the exisitng evidence
- but they are open to the possibility that they might be wrong

ts3: politicians may also change their beliefs in face of political reality
- some conservatives may believe that homosexual relationships are immoral
- but the reality is that increasing number of nations now recongize it as an acceptable form of relationship
- gay and lesbian marriages
- politicians who want to serve the nations need to rethink their beliefs   

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raikkonen36 发表于 2014-11-21 19:31
Issue 141.It is more harmful to compromise one's own beliefs than to adhere to them.

Write a resp ...

Issue43 The increasingly rapid pace of life today causes more problems than it solves.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

I strongly agree that the increasing pace of life creates more problems than it solves in our technology-driven society.  I will illustrate my position with examples about transportation, communcation, and diet .  

With the advent of private cars, people in modern society have live their lives in the fast track
- commute and travel by cars - faster, more convenient and comfortable
- problems: car accidents, road rage, sendentary lifestyles (obesity, high blood pressure)
- more problems: income gap; isolated from others on the road; inequality  


With the advent of digital computers and the Internet, people can communicate more rapidly but the new technology often causes more problems.  
- email saves time and improves efficiency  (solve some problems)
- but people write faster without thinking carefully
- email becomes a burden for many people
- security is a big issue as well  



Fast food is another consequence of the rapid pace of life
- it solves the problem of time shortage (grab a hamburger to go)
- but fast food is junk food (too greasy; too much calorie)
- no time to spend with family (dinner time used to family time)  

之前的提纲

In modern society that is heavily industrialized and globalized, the rapid pace of life has solved many problems in areas such as public transportation and emergency response. While some people may argue that the rapid pace of life has stressed out people and led to public health issues, many people have learned to manage the problems by taking vacations and planning early retirements.   

ts1: The rapid pace of life has enabled people to enjoy efficient public transportation that is essential for everyday activities.  这里指出生活节奏快使我们可以享受高效的生活  包括 高效的交公共交通
这里如果觉得仅仅说公共交通不够的话，也可以提一下各种生产和服务业都是高效的运作 比如iPhone手机的批量生产 银行的便捷服务等等

ts2: With the fast lifestyles, the society can also respond to emergencies promptly through the fire services, the police and the hospitals.  这里以火警、匪警和医疗救护为例指出快节奏可以使社会快速应对紧急情况 保障公众生命安全

ts3: Despite the great pressure caused by the rapid pace of life threatening public health, many people have learned to deal with the problems through vacations and early retirements.  承认快节奏生活会带来公共健康问题，比如抑郁、焦虑、自杀等等，但是现在很多人都会利用度假和计划提早退休等方式来处理这些问题，而能够度假和提早退休也有赖于快节奏的生活和工作。

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有版主提醒我不要让组员在版面上发全文，否则可能会被ETS索引而导致被判抄袭。对于这个问题，我其实有点怀疑，因为ETS并没有权利索引版友的习作，所以这件事按照常理来讲是说不通的。当然，由于ETS透明度不够，我们并不确定究竟有没有风险。为此我写了一封信给ETS

ref_web_page: http://www.ets.org/gre/contact?WT.ac=grehome_grecontact_130807

email2: hswanghk@gmail.com

message: If I join an online forum and post my practice essays there to get feedback from others, will my post be indexed by ETS and my writing in the real test be judged as plagiarism because I reused the words in my posts?

name_first: Simon

name_last: Wang

过了几天收到ETS的模板回复，让我哭笑不得

Thank you for contacting the GRE Program.

Dear Simon Wang,

Regarding your inquiry:

Please note that ETS tests and related test materials, publications, reports and other materials in all forms of media are copyrighted. We ask that you follow the instructions on our website at www.ets.org/legal/permissions/ to request the permission necessary for you to reproduce ETS copyrighted material. Permissions are only granted in writing. Verbal grants of permission are not considered binding.

Information regarding ETS Licensing policies is available at www.ets.org/legal/permissions/licensing.

ScoreItNow!TM Online Writing Practice is a tool that can help you sharpen your writing skills and prepare for the Analytical Writing section of the GRE® revised General Test. Using the ETS® patented e-rater® technology, the ground breaking automated scoring system provides immediate essay scoring in a confidential, risk-free environment.

This service lets you:
•       Respond to GRE revised General Test Analytical Writing topics created and tested by ETS test authors.
•       Submit your responses online and get immediate scores on your responses from e-rater®, ETS's groundbreaking automated scoring system.
•       Review scored sample essay responses on the topics you select.
•       Review general suggestions for improving your writing skills.
•       Receive diagnostic feedback on your response.

The service costs US $13, and entitles you to write two essays and receive an e-rater score for each.

NOTE: Although performance on ScoreItNow! Online Writing Practice essays is not an exact predictor of how a test taker might perform during an actual test administration, learners are encouraged to write the ScoreItNow! essays as a timed practice to get a better sense of performance on an actual test.

To use this service, please visit www.ets.org/gre/scoreitnow.

We hope this information is helpful and we wish you success in your future endeavors.

Thank you for your inquiry. We appreciate the opportunity to assist you.
If you have additional questions, please contact our Customer Service team at (866) 473-4373 or (609) 771-7670, or visit our Web site at www.gre.org If you contact us via e-mail, please include all previous correspondence or a summary of information regarding your inquiry.

今天有同学问起这件事，我又写了一封邮件给他们

Thanks for your reply. Considering the content of my message, however, I do not think you have answered my inquiry. Please pass my question to someone who can actually answer my question rather than sending me a canned reply that only illustrates how inefficient your customer service is.  

This is my original question; please do READ it before you send me another canned message.  

If I join an online forum and post my practice essays there to get feedback from others, will my post be indexed by ETS and my writing in the real test be judged as plagiarism because I reused the words in my posts?

下周看看他怎么回复！

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gzc405933323 发表于 2014-11-24 18:01
老师，依我愚见，根据wikipedia其实family也是social group之一（http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_g ...

有道理
不过即使你说的性格、生理特征往往也会成为社会群体形成的依据，比如 长头发的女孩子
所以还是要看你如何界定社会群体吧  

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The president of Grove College has recommended that the college abandon its century-old tradition of all-female education and begin admitting men. Pointing to other all-female colleges that experienced an increase in applications after adopting coeducation, the president argues that coeducation would lead to a significant increase in applications and enrollment. However, the director of the alumnae association opposes the plan. Arguing that all-female education is essential to the very identity of the college, the director cites annual surveys of incoming students in which these students say that the school's all-female status was the primary reason they selected Grove. The director also points to a survey of Grove alumnae in which a majority of respondents strongly favored keeping the college all female.


Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.



According to the president of Grove College, admitting male students will increase the number of applicants and enrolled students.  On the other hand, the alum association director uses data from survey of incoming students and alumnae to oppose the recommendation.  Questions have to be answered regarding how comparable Grove is to other all-female colleges, the attitudes of prospective students, current students, faculty members and alumnae in order to evaluate the argument.  

We do not know for sure if switching to a co-educational college will indeed increase both applications and enrolment.  It may or may not be useful to compare Grove to other all-female colleges which recently made the move.  Maybe the other colleges have introduced certain changes, e.g. hiring more first-rate faculty members or building new dorms, that have attracted more applicants.  The increase of applications under such circumstances would have nothing to do with the change to co-education. We also need to know how attractive Grove is to the male prospective students compared to other colleges. If other colleges have some attractive features for male students that Grove does not share, the data from the other colleges would not be relevant for making decisions at Grove.  

To address the director’s claim that all-female education essentially defines Grove college, we need more information about the attitudes of not just incoming students and alumnae but also current students, faculty members, employers and the entire society.  Of course, the survey on incoming students and alumnae over this issue need some improvement in terms of sampling and question design.  It is important to get a sufficiently large sample of randomly selected respondents in order to gather valid and reliable data.  In addition, we also need to know what current students, faculty members, employers and other members of the society associated with the college think of Grove being an all-female college.  Their attitudes and values about single-sex education are important for deciding if Grove can afford losing the status of an all-female college.  

Finally, it is also important to review the capacity of the college and the quality of prospective male applicants that Grove would expect if switching to a co-educational college. If the college does not have extra space and teaching capacity to accommodate more students in the near future, expected increase in enrolment would not be desirable for Grove and could not be used to justify the recommendation.  Meanwhile, we may have to predict how strong the applications of male students are compared to their female counterparts.  If for whatever reasons, the male applicants for Grove would not be as competitive as females, the change would unlikely increase the enrolment, either.  

In sum, in order to evaluate the arguments for and against the recommendation, we need to answer the questions about the validity of the survey, the attitudes of other stakeholders, the specific circumstances of Grove college with respect to admission applications.  

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我将长期在寄托辅导GRE考生，一方面是为了我的科研，另一方面也是出于我对这件事本身的热忱。我相信通过GRE写作教学，有可能帮助更多的同学学习批判思维、同时为将来的学术写作打下基础。如果你觉得我的博客或指导对你有帮助，希望表达对我的工作的感谢和支持，请考虑向维基百科基金会或你自己喜爱的慈善机构捐款。  

Wikipedia is the #5 site on the web and serves 500 million different people every month – with billions of page views.

Commerce is fine. Advertising is not evil. But it doesn't belong here. Not in Wikipedia.

Wikipedia is something special. It is like a library or a public park. It is like a temple for the mind. It is a place we can all go to think, to learn, to share our knowledge with others.

When I founded Wikipedia, I could have made it into a for-profit company with advertising banners, but I decided to do something different. We’ve worked hard over the years to keep it lean and tight. We fulfill our mission efficiently.

If everyone reading this donated, our fundraiser would be done within an hour. But not everyone can or will donate. And that's fine. Each year just enough people decide to give.

This year, please consider making a donation of HK$100, HK$200, HK$300 or whatever you can to protect and sustain Wikipedia.

Thanks,

Jimmy Wales
Wikipedia Founder

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普林 发表于 2014-11-28 10:35
Simon老师好，这是我按照你的要求写的句子练习：

对于家境富裕的学生，这个建议没有好处，他们可以根据 ...

could you edit your post to include the original task so I can assess your work without referring back to the previous post? You may also contact me via my Wechat account, my wechat ID is the same as my GTER ID.

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杨家齐 发表于 2014-11-21 18:16
看了王老师的分享和点评，很受鼓舞。一战aw时，已经列了所有issue提纲（自己简单想的，没有按照1+3模式来 ...

22) According to a recent report, cheating among college and university students is on the rise. However, Groveton College has successfully reduced student cheating by adopting an honor code, which calls for students to agree not to cheat in their academic endeavors and to notify a faculty member if they suspect that others have cheated. Groveton's honor code replaced a system in which teachers closely monitored students; under that system, teachers reported an average of thirty cases of cheating per year. In the first year the honor code was in place, students reported twenty-one cases of cheating; five years later, this figure had dropped to fourteen. Moreover, in a recent survey, a majority of Groveton students said that they would be less likely to cheat with an honor code in place than without. Thus, all colleges and universities should adopt honor codes similar to Groveton's in order to decrease cheating among students.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

16:36  
students agree not to cheat
students agree to notify faculty
replace teacher monitor- report 30 per year

21 cases under honour code
5 years later- drop to 14  
survey- less likely to cheat

all colleges and universities


It is argued that all universities and colleges should follow the example of Groveton College to adopt an honor code in order to reduce the cases of cheating. A number of questions about the cheating cases, the reasons why fewer cases of cheating were reported and how representative Groveton is among universities have to be answered in order to decide if the recommendation and the argument are reasonable.  

To begin with, we need to know more about the details of the cheating cases among Groveton students to decide if the honor code is likely to be effective.  For example, we need to know if students are likely to keep their promises not to cheat during their studies given the pressure of performing well.  If the students are under great pressure to do well academically, they may cheat despite their promises under the honor code. In addition, we need to know if students are more likely to detect the cases of cheating than teachers. For example, in close-book exams, maybe students can discover cheating cases of their peers around them more easily; but in paper-based assignments, teachers will detect cheating more easily with anti-plagiarism software such as Turnitin.

In addition, we also need to know why the number of reported cases of cheating was reduced after the adoption of honor code. We need more evidence about how likely students are to report their peers’ cheating cases. Maybe the students are reluctant to report the cases under peer pressure, thereby reducing the number of reported cases when the actual number of cheating cases was higher. If the decrease of reported cases is a result of the students’ reluctance to report, the honor code would actually be ineffective in deterring cheating.  Another possible reason for the decline of cheating cases could be the reduction of enrolments of the college, which we need to explore with more evidence.  

Finally, it is important to ask to what extent the other universities and colleges are comparable to Groveton and the honor code would be acceptable among the students and faculty members. Maybe the honor code is effective in Groveton as students there are not under great pressure to perform well or most of them are strongly motivated and well prepared for the assessments. This may not be the case for students in other universities or colleges. Moreover, for the honor code to work, both students and faculty members need to accept it as a legitimate and viable system. Groveton students and faculty may find the system acceptable but those from other universities and colleges may not.  

In conclusion, we do not know whether the recommendation would be effective and whether the argument is reasonable until we can gather more information to answer the questions discussed above.  
16:58  

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杨家齐 发表于 2014-11-21 18:16
看了王老师的分享和点评，很受鼓舞。一战aw时，已经列了所有issue提纲（自己简单想的，没有按照1+3模式来 ...

Claim: It is no longer possible for a society to regard any living man or woman as a hero.
Reason: The reputation of anyone who is subjected to media scrutiny will eventually be diminished.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

44可以将celebrity分作 athletes politicians scientists三类人来讨论 指出第一类人年轻 多金 诱惑多 容易出丑闻 第二类人政敌多 做的决策有争议 第三类人做的成就容易转化为技术 讲的话有权威  对于前两类人 claim和reason都成立 对于第三类人则不成立


84) It is no longer possible for a society to regard any living man or woman as a hero.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

17:15  

With the development of the Internet and the social media, the private lives of celebrities are being scrutinised and talked about by ordinary people all the time. Therefore, it is argued that people can no longer regard the living celebrities as heroes given so much information about their not so honourable private lives. I would agree that this is indeed the case in the field of entertainment, sports and politics. Some people may argue that celebrities with lifelong achievements in entertainments and sports may still be regarded as heroes. But with the social media more interested in celebrities in their prime time, the older celebrities would only receive much attention when they pass away.  

I agree that it is no longer possible to consider celebrities in the fields of entertainment and sports as heroes because they are often young and rich facing temptations in their private lives. Consider the case of Tiger Woods, the heroic figure in professional golf. While Woods was often regarded as the greatest contemporary golf player and a hero in the field, his reputation was severely undermined after his scandal of extramarital affair.  Stories of fallen heroes who were young, talented and well-regarded are commonplace because it was more difficult for them to discipline themselves when they could do anything they like with the money and fame.  

It is equally difficult, if not impossible, for people to idolise political leaders these days.  President Clinton was widely regarded as a competent leader of the US bringing great economic prosperity to nation plagued by economic aftermath left by President Bush.  Yet, he was not a perfect man and made mistakes that gave opportunities to his political enemies to exploit leading to the infamous scandal of Monica Lewinsky. Even if a majority of Americans are willing to forgive Mr. Clinton’s misconduct, it is nearly impossible to count him among the great US presidents such as Abraham Lincoln and John Kennedy.  

Some people may challenge my argument by pointing out that older celebrities in these fields may be regarded as heroes considering their lifelong achievements. Figures like Robin Williams and Woody Allen, for example, may be considered heroes in the movie industry in the light of their numerous accomplishments throughout their lives. This may indeed be the case. But we need to bear in mind that, in today’s social media as well as traditional media, attention is often given disproportionately to the celebrities in their prime time. People are more interested in news and gossips about Jennifer Lawrence and Ellen Page than the biographies of Mike Douglas or Steve Martin.  

Given the limited space, I only address this issue with regard to the celebrities in fields of entertainment, sports and politics. But the points I try to make may be applicable to other fields as well: celebrities in their prime time often could neither resist the temptations that arise from their fame and wealth nor avoid the attacks from their enemies; as a result, it is difficult for them to be regarded as heroes; for the older celebrities with lifelong accomplishments, they were often forgotten by the general public until the day they pass away.  

17:46

tesolchinaUID：2191404

6) A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

useful for college admission
helpful for students from less developed regions
but be careful about government intervention


To improve the quality of pre-college education, it is often proposed that all students should be required to study the same national curriculum. I agree that adopting the same curriculum for schools across the nation would be helpful for students and teachers from less developed regions to get more support and for universities around the nations to evaluate applicants more objectively.  Nevertheless, we need to be careful of the danger of the national government to advance its own political agenda through this national curriculum.  

Through adopting a standardised national curriculum, it would be more feasible for schools in less developed regions to get support and help for improving their education. Since students from the disadvantaged school districts will be studying the same curriculum as those from schools bestowed with more resources, it is possible for the schools in the less developed regions to re-use lesson plans and other teaching materials developed elsewhere. In addition, it is more convenient for teachers across nations including those volunteers from Teach for America program to serve as temporary teachers in those disadvantaged schools as the same materials can be used under the national curriculum.  

In addition, the national curriculum would be useful for universities to assess the applications from all over the nation more objectively. Currently, the college admission system relies on standardised tests such as SAT and ACT to assess students’ academic potential objectively. But such instruments are often criticised for creating extra workload and stress among the college bound students.  With the same national curriculum, the university admission committees can use the GPAs of the applicants as a more accurate and comparable indicator to make admission decisions.  

Despite the above two advantages of the proposed policy, we need to be cautious about the risk of the government imposing certain ideological agenda to the schools through requiring a national curriculum. Quality education should be provided for all students regardless of socioeconomic backgrounds to improve social mobility among the youths. But it should not be used as an institution for propagating the official ideology and values that serve to legitimise the national government.  Therefore, if we are to adopt a national curriculum, we should do everything we can to make sure the curriculum is free from political bias or influence from the national government.  

In conclusion, I agree that all students should be required to study the same national curriculum which can help the students from less developed regions to receive better education and the universities around the nation to make admission decisions more effectively. Nevertheless, it is important to remain vigilant against any political intervention of the national government when designing and implementing the national curriculum.

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黑白沉默 发表于 2014-11-29 20:31
最近在认真研读老师的各种范文什么的哈，这里有个小问题求教：关于109 “Some people believe that scien ...

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take.

我想我的position是 在某些情况我更接近前一个观点，某些情况下更接近后一个观点，我觉得这样是没问题的。

tesolchinaUID：2191404

普林 发表于 2014-11-27 11:13
哈哈，simon老师很霸气啊~赞一个

这两天美国感恩节 至今没有回复 可能要等到下周了

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普林 发表于 2014-11-27 11:13
哈哈，simon老师很霸气啊~赞一个

感恩节后，收到回复

Hello Simon,

Your correspondence has been forwarded to the appropriate area for review.  We will contact you again once we have gathered the necessary information.

Thank you for your patience.

James Livingood
Product Manager
GRE-ETS

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杨家齐 发表于 2014-11-30 21:39
[11.30二战issue经验分享］虽然分数还没有出来，但还是想来论坛分享一下我的体会。
issue考题：54) In ord ...

家齐同学虽然加入小组时间不长，但却是组里最积极的同学。在她考前的3天，我们通过Skype语音讨论了大概15道issue题，针对她写的提纲和思路，我做出了点评，然后提出我自己的想法。她这两天会把我们的讨论内容整理出来，以issue为单位，发布到论坛上供大家参考。

通过我们这次的讨论，我总结出了一种新的辅导模式，现已要求Chiu, Claret, Mary, Lisa等几位组员，每人挑选10道issue题写提纲然后和我语音讨论，再以同样的方式将思路和讨论结果公开。相信在年内，我们就可以将149道issue全部分析一遍，明年春节前有望完成argument题库的分析。

家齐同学除了对比自己的思路和讨论后的思路外，还认真地尝试从讨论中提炼一些可以运用到其他题目中的思考方式，我认为这是一种很好的学习方法。所谓授人以鱼不如授人以渔，只有学习一些基本的思考方法，才能够独立解决GRE题库中乃至将来学习、生活中遇到的问题。

对我来说，GRE作文不仅仅是一次考试，而是一个思维训练的平台。和同学们讨论issue/argument的思路对我来说是一个十分享受的过程，一方面在交流中会碰撞出思想的火花（印象最深的就是和WY同学讨论issue74题时我想到的巧妙思路-42楼）；另一方面，看到学生在我的启发下恍然大悟，我也由衷地喜悦。

自03年任教华科外语学院，10年间我遇到太多不喜欢、不重视英语却被迫学英语的学生，这让我对大学英语教学彻底失望。来香港读博士，所教的本科生虽然英语基础不错，但是对写作的重视、对阅读的热情也远远不够。所幸的是，在寄托GRE作文作文版，我能遇到少数真正有心学习的同学，这是值得珍惜的缘分。很期待未来几周里和不同的组员就各道issue的讨论，包括那些到现在我还没能想好怎么写的题目，相信每一次讨论都有惊喜！

有兴趣和我讨论issue/argument思路的同学，请加我微信，账号和我的寄托ID相同。