In this memorandum, the president draws a conclusion that Humana University should instit ...
-第一段中没有直接的将主旨提出,比如 we need answers about xxx,xxx,xxx问题;
-第二段中的观点我个人觉得都不是很合适。去年总的enrollment in Omni以及other reasons for choosing online programs in Omni即使回答了 和主题也没有任何联系。 其实,这里我觉得你应该是想探讨online programs 和 increase of enrollment以及decrease of expenditure之间的因果关系。也就是说whether there is some other factors that can contribute to increase and decrease. 比如你说的知名叫兽的例子或者校外的住宿更便宜;
-第三段的观点也不完整。我个人觉得问题应该是:we have to ask what cause the decrease number of enrollment in Humana University and increase of cost of maintaining buildings。这里最好不要出现具体的例子,比如中国,美帝之类的。