issue 235帮忙拍

一直在路上。。UID: 2661794

TOPIC: ISSUE235 - "Most people are taught that loyalty is a virtue. But loyalty-whether to one's friends, to one's school or place of employment, or to any institution-is all too often a destructive rather than a positive force."
WORDS: 717          TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2009-8-31 8:38:49

  Is loyalty all too often a destructive rather than a positive force as the speaker asserts whether it be to friends, school or place of employment or any institution? I totally disagree with the speaker even assuming that undue loyalty to either of those above may carry significant harm. In fact, wonder whether one could possibly survive in the long run in any of these places without being loyal at least when it comes to the problem of principles and virtue. So the question is should we be loyal in the mentioned area?
  To begin with, I agree with the speaker that we are taught that loyalty is a virtue and I tend to believe in that definition for loyalty is one of the most essential and significant virtue for any individuality. Loyalty is a state of being sincere and kind-hearted as well as the basic necessity if one want to be trusted and cherished by others. Any one who lives on lies won't be able to lead a successful and revered life in the long run, although they be able to survive in the short term. Consider, who wants to be friend with a liar? Who wants a student to be a completely liar? Who wants to hire a liar and who wants to work or get along with a liar? The answer is definitely no one.
  My first point of contention aganist the speaker's assertion lies in the intercommunication with a friend. In my point of view, loyalty is the fundamental element to become friends especially true, sincere friends. What can we expect from a friend if he or she is a completely liar, honesty, kind-hearted, sincerity, true friendship? None of these is possible if that friend isn't loyal, in fact, query whether that person can be considered as a friend. And only when two people open heart to each other, treat the other one with a sincere and honest, kind heart will they be able to develop a deep and meaningful friendship. However, people may and should be allowed to keep their privacies even within the best friends for everyone should have their own room only known to themselves which is neither ill-intentioned to hurt the other nor is that require a completely loyalty.In a word,a real friend is someone you share your inner feelings, happyiness, sorrow or treasured memories as well as someone with whom you help each other whenever it is needed, encourage each other when one is discouraged and cheer and share your happiness. Given that total loyalty is neither possible nor necessary, the speaker, however, goes too far by completely denying the value of loyalty which renders his assertion indefensible.
  My second contention against the speaker has to do with loyalty to school or place of employment. No one would dispute the fact that everyone serves as a small faction whether of that school or place of employment and the shool and workplace are just like a big family we belong to, and honesty and loyalty to that family is essential. Consider, for example, if one fails to be loyal to his company and reveal important information to its opponents or cheats his company in certain work or procedure for the sake of his own interest. Once  either of scenarios is exposured he or she is sure to lose the basic trust and belief which in the end will result in serious punishment and even result in their unimployment.
  However, undue loyalty is also harmful when it comes to loyalty to one's school or place of employment. On the one hand, when one's place of employment does something harmful to the society and its people or something illegal, undue honesty might drive a person to help hide these information and evidence which may result in tremendous cost to the society. Instead, one should be required to be object and be responsible for the whole society and the public rather than the mere interest of his company. On the other hand, undue loyalty to one's school may result in unjustice. Consider, for instance, a person who is especially loyal to his school is more likely to choose someone belongs to the same school during a interview or application whenever he or she get the power to make such a choice. Also, undue loyalty may result in despising others outside their school or place of work.
  In sum, loyalty is defintely of siginificant positive help when using poroply. In fact, some extent of loyalty is essential and indispensable whether it be to a friend, school, place of employment of other institutions. However, one should pay attention that undue loyalty will defeat its purpose, instead may cause great harm not only to others but also ourselves. Anyway, the speaker overstates the potential harm of loyalty which overlooks its value, thus renders his broad assertion  indefensible.

夏の末UID: 2603892

1# 一直在路上。。


Is loyalty all too often a destructive rather than a positive force as the speaker asserts whether it be to friends, school or place of employment or any institution?(感觉这个问句放在开头有一点累赘) I totally disagree with the speaker even assuming that undue loyalty to either of those above may carry significant harm. In fact, wonder whether one could possibly survive in the long run in any of these places without being loyal at least when it comes to the problem of principles and virtue. So the question is should we be loyal in the mentioned area?
  

To begin with, I agree with the speaker that we are taught that loyalty is a virtue and I tend to believe in that definition for loyalty is one of the most essential and significant virtue for any individuality. (没看懂这句话诶)Loyalty is a state of being sincere and kind-hearted as well as the(a)basic necessity if one want(s)to be trusted and cherished by others. Any one who lives on lies won't(will not 正式文章中不要有缩写) be able to lead a successful and revered life in the long run, although(用though好些吧) they(may) be able to survive in the short term. Consider, who wants to be friend with a liar? Who wants a student to be a completely liar? Who wants to hire a liar and who wants to work or get along with a liar?(这一连串问的让人感觉透不过气... ...有点咄咄逼人的感觉,你可以试着选一个问句稍微展开一点来写)The answer is definitely no one.

My first point of contention aganist the speaker's assertion lies in the intercommunication with a friend. In my point of view, loyalty is the fundamental element to become friends especially true, sincere friends. What can we expect from a friend if he or she is a completely liar, honesty, kind-hearted, sincerity, true friendship? (honesty, kindhearted, sincerity, truefriendship这是句子什么成分?感觉很随意地丢在后面,读起来不太对劲)None of these is possible if that friend isn't loyal, in fact, query whether that person can be considered as a friend. And only when two people open heart to each other, treat the other one with a sincere and honest, kind heart will they be able to develop a deep and meaningful friendship. However, people may and should be allowed to keep their privacies even within the best friends for everyone should have their own room only known to themselves which is neither ill-intentioned to hurt the other nor is that require a completely loyalty(这个长句子还是有点牵强,很难读懂,也许是我看得不仔细,但感觉文章最重要的还是要通畅和顺畅,而你并列的内容太多,而且内容上联系不大).In a word,a real friend is someone you share your inner feelings, happyiness, sorrow or treasured memories as well as someone with whom you help each other whenever it is needed, encourage each other when one is discouraged and cheer and share your happiness. (这跟loyalty都有什么关系呢??)Given that total loyalty is neither possible nor necessary, the speaker, however, goes too far by completely denying the value of loyalty which renders his assertion indefensible.
  My second contention against the speaker has to do with loyalty to school or place of employment. No one would dispute the fact that everyone serves as a small faction whether of that school or place of employment and the shool and workplace are just like a big family we belong to, and honesty and loyalty to that family is essential. Consider, for example, if one fails to be loyal to his company and reveal important information to its opponents or cheats his company in certain work or procedure for the sake of his own interest. Once  either of scenarios is exposured (exposed)he or she is sure to lose the basic trust and belief which(which指代什么呢?我懂你的意思是想指句子lose the basic trust and belief,但是这样写感觉很想是指代trust and belief,或许可以改成resulting in serious punishment) in the end will result in serious punishment and even result in their unimployment.


However, undue loyalty is also harmful when it comes to loyalty to one's school or place of employment. On the one hand, when one's place of employment does something harmful to the society and its people or something illegal, undue honesty might drive a person to help hide these information and evidence which(还是which的问题) may result in tremendous cost to the society. Instead, one should be required to be object and be responsible for the whole society and the public rather than the mere interest of his company. On the other hand, undue loyalty to one's school may result in unjustice. Consider, for instance, a person who is especially loyal to his school is more likely to choose someone belongs to the same school during a interview or application whenever he or she get the power to make such a choice. Also, undue loyalty may result in despising others outside their school or place of work.

In sum, loyalty is defintely of siginificant positive help when using poroply. In fact, some extent of loyalty is essential and indispensable whether it be to a friend, school, place of employment of other institutions. However, one should pay attention that undue loyalty will defeat its purpose, instead may cause great harm not only to others but also ourselves. Anyway, the speaker overstates the potential harm of loyalty which overlooks its value, thus renders his broad assertion  indefensible.


PS:文章另起一段的时候,不需要空格哦~
    which的问题我也有,但有人给我指出来,就改了一些,但很多时候我跟你一样也喜欢用,这个问题我们再议~