第一次计时，请大家指点一二！——ISSUE43,ARGUMENT"roller skater"

CHERRYKISSUID: 2677770

因为是严格按照时间规定写出来的，会有些小错误，不劳大家逐句修改啦。
我最想知道的是逻辑和结构问题，还有语言硬伤，比如时态。也希望大家给些建议，如果目标是4分的话还需要做什么改进。
任何形式的批评指正我都会认真对待，并且字数不限！总之大家随意蹂躏哈~

ISSUE 43:
To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards.

ethical and moral standards重要
highest不好定义
如果定义为家庭内部的则不必要
仍然是public official 努力的方向

13：00-13：45
429words

Is it a must for each public official to keep the highest ethical and moral standards in order to become an effective leader? The author claims so. However, in my point of view, while the high ethical and moral standards are essencial, it is an overstatement that any effective leader need to maitain them.

To begin with, a standard of ethic and moral serves as the rule to distinguish between right and wrong, bad and good in human society. Since public officials are in charge of the society and in duty of people's well being, ethical and moral standards are significant to their job. Due to the fact that officials are wielding power but do not benefit directly according to the efficency of their work, there is a better chance for them to abuse authority for personal gains or vested interest groups. By constraining people's behavior, ethical and moral standards are an effective way to prevent delinquencies from happening.

Still, question remains, such as how to define "the highest” ethical and moral standards? As an abstract and uncomparable conception, it is difficult to tell whether a standard is the highest or not. To put as an example, comparing Chinese sage Confucius with Laotse, who is of higher ethical and moral standards? And is he the one with the highest ethical and moral standards ever in the past and contemporary world as well? How to support the judgement by evidence? Different people may have differen ideas. Consequently, even a saint dose not for sure maintain the highest ethical and moral standards, leave along an effective leader.

When it comes to ethical and moral standards in terms of the one's family, then there is no necessity of these standard to become an effective leader. History has witnessed many great leaders who failed to manage the domestic affairs by justified means, for instance, led to a miserable end to the marriage by commiting domestic violence. However, considering policy, he or she may be of excellent and admirable leadership. This illustrates that under certain conditions ethical and moral standards have nothing to do with the ability of an effective leader, neither do them affect a public official to become such effective leader.

In sum, we should not come to a hasty conclusion without first indentifying the concept of highest ethical and moral standards and analyzing under different circumstances. However, relatively high ethical and moral standards have been what the masses expected to see from their leaders, also what many public offiicals were pursuiting for, and it should remain the same in the foreseeable future.




ARGUMENT:
Hospital statistics regarding people who go to the emergency room after roller-skating accidents indicate the need for more protective equipment.
Within this group of people, 75 percent of those who had accidents in streets or parking lots were not wearing any protective clothing (helmets, knee pads, etc.) or any light-reflecting material (clip-on lights, glow-in-the-dark wrist pads, etc.).
Clearly, these statistics indicate that by investing in high-quality protective gear and reflective equipment, roller skaters will greatly reduce their risk of being severely injured in an accident.
13:50-14:20
334words

The arguer contributed risk for roller skaters to be severely injured in an accident to the lack of high-quality protective and reflective equipment, based only hospital statistics. This argument, however, is in need of sufficient evidence and consideration of other possibilities.

To begin with, the particular hospital statistics are not reliable. Questions still remain, such as: what percentage of people suffered from roller-skating accidents were investigated? Was is 1%, 2%, or 5%? Is that a number able to cover all the representatives? Besides, what if the roller skaters wearing a protective or reflective equipment rarely went to the emergency room because they were less injured? Also, without taking into consideration other spots except for the streets or parking lots, the "75 percent " may not be a effective percentage to be based on.

Further more, the arguer dose not soundly support the necessity of high-quality protective gear and reflective equipment. Perhaps that the average equipment is enough to protect the roller skaters, or perhaps it is often too dangerous to be involved in roller-skating accidents that even those with high-quality equipment were helpless. After all, the emergency room may have no chance to receive, if any, the severely injured roller skaters, who had probably died on the way to hosipital.

Also, a further study should be carried out to compare the possible differences between protective gear and reflective equipment. The arguer did not tell them apart so that each one’s function can not be seen clearly. Only after controlled trials are carried out can it be desided whether both of them are efficient or one is alternative for the other.

To draw a conclusion, in either case the statement can be vague and misleading, unless the arguer proves that the statistics are reliable, and thus the high-quality protective gear and reflective equipment or either of them is necessary.

CHERRYKISSUID: 2677770

我还是把改过的放上来啦 这样读起来可能会顺一些

CHERRYKISSUID: 2677770

顶啦 大家帮忙提意见啊~