第二次作文~加油

752585UID: 2516542

9月2日
题目6
看现场or看电视。
With the improvement of living standard and the development of recreational activities, more and more people have the chance to participate in live performance. The question is, “do people have more fun in live performance than watching the same show in television?” I think the answer is definitely yes.

Admittedly, watching performance in home has many advantages. The most outstanding advantage is cheap. Let’s put in numbers: a ticket for Michael Jackson live perform sells for at least 500 dollars. In contrast, if you watch it on television, how much you should pay? Nothing! And the cost of transport can also be saved. Moreover, at home people do not need to worry about seeing unclearly if they sit at back.

Although watching television is more economical, seeing live performance can give people more fun. The first reason is that people can have the chance to have a close contact with their ideal. Take my own experience for instance. I take a great interest in magic tricks, therefore when I heard David Copperfield, one of my favorite magicians, was going to hold a live perform, I bought a ticket at once. In the performance, I was chosen as lucky audience to participate in one magical trick. In the program, I could help David held his cards. It is really an unforgettable experience, not only because I can talk to my ideal, but also it is the first time I see a magical trick so closely. I am sure that people who watch the performance can not have this kind exciting experience. Therefore, people attend live performance can get unexpected pleasure.

Furthermore, people can watch the show with other people. People are more likely to feel happy when their surrounding people feel enjoyable, because human is easily under the influence of other people and the environment. According to last statics, above 50% people choosing watch live sport games is because they can share their emotion with other people when they are seeing the game. Therefore, attending live performance, especially sport games, can bring people more fun and give the chance to people know new friends who have same interesting.


All in all, although the cost of live performance is considerably higher than watching television, people can finally get what they pay for: a lot of pleasure.

752585UID: 2516542

不好意思，不知道写综合。。。写的独立，第一次写高分120。。。麻烦帮我看一下了。。。谢谢

gy0510150556UID: 2546647

With the improvement of living standard and the development of recreational activities, more and more people have the chance to participate in live performance. The question is, “do people have more fun in live performance than watching the same show in television?” I think the answer is definitely yes.(then comes a question..会好些，很不错啦)
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Admittedly, watching performance in（at） home has many advantages. The most outstanding advantage is cheap. Let’s put in numbers: a ticket for Michael Jackson live perform sells for at least 500 dollars. In contrast, if you watch it on television, how much you should pay? Nothing! And the cost of transport can also be saved. Moreover, at home people do not need to worry about seeing unclearly if they sit at back.（写的很流畅，但主题句是many advantages,误以为你真的是要写好几处呢） 0 V# G0 C) q9 M! |7 |" M

Although watching television is more economical, seeing live performance can give people more fun. The first reason is that people can have the chance to have a close contact with their ideal（idols）. Take my own experience for instance. I take a great interest in magic tricks, therefore when I heard David Copperfield, one of my favorite magicians, was going to hold a live perform, I bought a ticket at once. In the performance, I was chosen as lucky audience to participate in one magical trick. In the program, I could help David held（hold） his cards. It is really an unforgettable experience, not only because I can talk to my ideal, but also it is the first time I see a magical trick so closely. I am sure that people who watch the performance can not have this kind exciting experience. Therefore, people attend live performance can get unexpected pleasure说的我都好心动* _
2 U. w) ?7 I2 B6 U$ ]' _
Furthermore, people can watch the show with other people. People are more likely to feel happy when their surrounding people feel enjoyable, because human is easily （affected）under the influence of other people and the environment. According to last static（statistics)0% people choosing watch live sport games is because they can share their emotion with other people when they are seeing the game. Therefore, attending live performance, especially sport games, can bring people more fun and give the chance to people know new friends who have same interesting.

All in all, although the cost of live performance is considerably higher than watching television, people can finally get what they pay for: a lot of pleasure.
用词虽有些简单，但含义表达的很清楚地道，逻辑也很紧密，不错不错，在句式上再下些功夫就perfect啦
帮我改作文去，我的你还没改