进军美利坚9.2 作文小组

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

The passages supports that how the development of cottage industry with three reasons. However, the lecture casts doubts what the article supports with following evidences.

The author acclaims that the advances in technology played an essential role in this development. But the speaker refutes it at very beginning, the factory owners still hired more workers as the machines around that time were at the experienced stage including steam engines. The machines were adopted in the factories much later than that time.

Also, the reading passages mention that one of the purposes of the factory is to protect owner's property. The case from Holland shows that people in Holland in 17th century were on the similar situation but they utilized other method to hand with instead of having a factory. Therefore, having factory could not be the protection for private property.

Finally, one of the benefits of cottage factory may bring reduction in costs is refuted by the speaker in the lecture. The owner needed to purchase a piece of land to set up a factory, needed to hire executives and other workers, which should have cost more rather than helping saving money. Hence, it is not reasonable to trust that owning a factory would bring cheaper prices in cost. Then, the lecture totally refutes the contents in the reading passages.

NarashyUID: 2602795

谢谢你的批改~~~

对你的文章的几点建议，欢迎指教！
1.对于原文的观点我觉得可以不用说的那么详细，只需要说lecture怎么驳斥就好
2.第二个例子的主次关系好像有点偏颇，

PS： 你几号考呢？

tracy_YYUID: 2329804

真是抱歉阿，昨天一天的实验加报告，晚上10点半最后一班车，没及时给你评，现在补上:p

The passages supports that how the development of cottage industry (development 最好换成transition，我觉得这个词很关键）with three reasons. However, the lecture casts doubts (这里感觉少个介词，但是我也不知道该用什么，有没有牛人帮着看看）what the article supports with following evidences.8 N/ ~- J( s" ]' ~6 U" `3 {
+ U; A" X% E# m8 a

The author acclaims that the advances in technology played an essential role in this development. But the speaker refutes it at very beginning, the factory owners still（这里感觉句子结构有点怪，beginning是指industrialization的初期的话，改成But the speaker points out that, at the very beginning, the factory owners....你看如何？) hired more workers as（rather than) the machines around that time（去掉) which were at the experienced(这个词的意思是有经验的，应该是experimental） stage including steam engines. The machines were adopted in the factories much later than that time.(总之最后这个长句子在结构上可以再推敲一下的）

Also, the reading passages mentions that one of the purposes of the factory is to protect owner's property. The case from（of） Holland shows that people in Holland in 17th century were on the similar situation but they utilized other method to hand with instead of having a factory. Therefore, having factory could not be the protection for private property.（太牛了，我就死活没听出Holland这个地方，听到也不知道怎么拼~） D! z+ ?

Finally, one of the benefits of cottage factory that it may bring reduction in costs is refuted by the speaker in the lecture. The owner needed to purchase a piece of land to set up a factory, and needed to hire executives and other workers, which should have cost more rather than helping saving money. Hence, it is not reasonable to trust that owning a factory would bring cheaper prices in cost. Then, the lecture totally refutes the contents in the reading passages.