Issue 119 拍我者，必遭板砖回拍

gottliebUID: 2459111

TOPIC: ISSUE119 - "When research priorities are being set for science, education, or any other area, the most important question to consider is: How many people's lives will be improved if the results are successful?"
WORDS: 470
TIME: 00:37:38
DATE: 2009-9-3 9:38:24

The speaker asserts that we can judge the success of science, education, or any other area from their result can improve how many people's lives. In my view, this assertion has its merit; however, I take exception when it turns to some direction of science, especially long-term science and art. I concede that we study science, develop education and other area in order to improve our lives. If the science, education and so forth cannot contribute our better life, it is hard to admit it is successful.

In the area of advancing medicine, more people can get benefit from the study of medicine the more successful the study is. Information technology is one of important technology in our daily life today. It changes our way of communicating and also improve our daily life. This technology's success depends on the number of people can use its result, such as automobile, computer, internet, and so on. Thousands of people benefit from the research of modern agricultural technology. The success of agricultural technology has improved people's lives who suffered with starve before. These technologies, mentioned above, have benefited a lot of people, improve many people's lives.

However, the number of people's lives improved is not only the factor to determine whether the science, art is successful. If you judge only by the number of people, you perhaps deny the contribution of arts. Few of us can really understand Picasso's picture. Could you deny the success of Picasso in the area of painting? Dali's surrealism cannot be accepted by a lot of people. The real things constitute an unreal picture. Even though Dali's surrealism does not have improved people's lives directly, you also cannot ignore his contribution in art.

These phenomena also exist in the area of science. How many people’s lives have improved by the plan landing on the moon? Perhaps, few of us changed because this great plan. Is the result of landing plan mean less? It perhaps cannot improve our life immediately, but you cannot account for the benefit of the plan in the future. Study of gene biology, which is one of the hottest areas in biology, cannot improve many people's lives, yet you cannot deny its merits. Not a lot of people get the hormone deficiency. If this study about this disease can be success, you cannot just judge its result by how many people benefit from it. If we just cancel the study of this disease because little people's lives can be improved, we perhaps lost not only in the area of Medicine, but also in the humanity.

In sum, in my view, the science, art and any other area's success cannot just measure by how many people’s lives will be improved. We perhaps give up some area's study which can contribute a lot in long-term and improve our technology and humanity.

windLeeUID: 2691719

小看一下.  It changes our way of communicating and also improve our daily life.  ---- 容易犯的错误.
also imroves.

我写argument去了

无敌小番茄UID: 2684290

占楼 等下下回来改
刚看了一篇大牛的 头都大了

无敌小番茄UID: 2684290

The speaker asserts that we can judge the success of science, education, or any other area from their result can improve how many people's lives.(这句的改写貌似有问题，请路过的大牛看看吧) In my view, this assertion has its merit; however, I take exception when it turns to some direction of science, especially long-term science and art. I concede that we study science, develop education and other area in order to improve our lives. If the science, education and so forth cannot contribute our better life, it is hard to admit it is successful.

In the area of advancing medicine（和后半句不相称）, more people can get benefit（去掉get） from the study of medicine the more successful the study is. Information technology is one of important technology in our daily life today. It changes our way of communicating and also improve our daily life. This technology's success depends on the number of people can use its result, such as automobile, computer, internet, and so on. Thousands of people benefit from the research of modern agricultural technology. The success of agricultural technology has improved people's lives who suffered with starve before. These technologies, mentioned above, have benefited a lot of people, improve many people's lives.
在想这段和主题有什么关系，好像就是单独的一段，没有好好的跟上面的一段联系起来。个人觉得好好加个过渡的句子

However, the number of people's lives improved is not only the factor to determine whether the science, art is successful. If you judge only by the number of people, you perhaps deny the contribution of arts.（why deny the contribution of arts?） Few of us can really understand Picasso's picture. Could you deny the success of Picasso in the area of painting? Dali's surrealism cannot be accepted by a lot of people. The real things constitute an unreal picture. Even though Dali's surrealism does not have improved people's lives directly, you also cannot ignore his contribution in art.

These phenomena also exist in the area of science. How many people’s lives have improved by the plan landing on the moon? Perhaps, few of us changed because this great plan.（这句话表意不明） Is the result of landing plan mean less? It perhaps cannot improve our life immediately, but you cannot account for(predict) the benefit of the plan in the future. Study of gene biology, which is one of the hottest areas in biology, cannot improve many people's lives, yet you cannot deny its merits. Not a lot of people get the hormone deficiency. If this study about this disease can be success, you cannot just judge its result by how many people benefit from it. If we just cancel the study of this disease because little people's lives can be improved, we perhaps lost not only in the area of Medicine, but also in the humanity.

In sum, in my view, the science, art and any other area's success cannot just measure by how many people’s lives will be improved. （缺少过渡句）We perhaps give up some area's study which can contribute a lot in long-term and improve our technology and humanity.

建议下次写提纲
要不然看着看着就晕了
楼主的语言很好了

内容方面第二段和第三段是分领域说的，觉得如果能再找出个清晰的观点就好了

kiki2865UID: 2689569

1# gottlieb

例子、想法丰富。
速度快。

但有些小语法错误，
例如最后一段“just measure”是不是该用被动呢？
还有句子的多样性（sentence variety）好像也不够，
还要倒装啊什么的。