ARGU186 求好心人使劲地拍~~鞠躬敬礼~

wljffUID: 2616881

ARGUMENT186 - The following is a recommendation from the director of personnel to the president of Professional Printing Company.

"In a recent telephone survey of automobile factory workers, older employees were less likely to report that having a supervisor present increases their productivity. Among workers aged 18 to 29, 27 percent said that they are more productive in the presence of their immediate supervisor, compared to 12 percent for those aged 30 or over, and only 8 percent for those aged 50 or over. Clearly, if our printing company hires mainly older employees, we will increase productivity and save money because of the reduced need for supervisors."

Based on a survey of automobile factory workers talking about how they will perform in their job whether there was supervisors, the author gives the conclusion that the printing company should hires manly older employees to increase productivity and save money. At the first glance, the argument seems reasonable because the survey gives the data that more aged people would need fewer supervisors. However, a close scrutiny of the evidence of the survey, we may find some critical flaws to make the argument unconvincing.
Firstly, the survey told us more aged workers would be more productive without the presence of supervisors. But the author did not tell us the condition of these aged and young works like what they do in this factory. It is very possible that these 2 kinds of people have their own job that cannot be replaced by another. Maybe the younger workers' job cannot be done by aged people because of their age who are always does some job that are physically easy but technically hard.
Even if the aged people and the younger people do the same job, making older people replacing the younger worker cannot assure that the high productivity because the standers of productivity for them may be different. For instance, maybe hiring a supervisor and a younger worker will cost $1000 more than hiring an aged people. But younger worker could make $1500 more for the factory than aged people. And both kinds of people could say that they are more productive. So this way of hiring old people goes another direction to increasing productivity and saving money. Without ruling out this possibility, the result of survey is really unsound and unconvincing.
Finally, automobile factory and printing company are not the same kinds of factory. They need different people to work. The devices required to produce product is totally different. Maybe the printing company could not hire old people who will definitely decline the productivity and the job can only be done by younger people with more creativity.
In sum, the argument is unpersuasive as it stands. The author needs more information about the jobs of the aged and younger people. Besides, the author needs to make sure that the standards of productivity of them are the same. And the author should assure that the 2 company are the same kind and require same kinds of workers to work in production. Without these information, the author cannot get that conclusion that the printing company should hire more aged people.

stanzyUID: 2629386

ARGUMENT186 - The following is a recommendation from the director of personnel to the president of Professional Printing Company.

"In a recent telephone survey of automobile factory workers, older employees were less likely to report that having a supervisor present increases their productivity. Among workers aged 18 to 29, 27 percent said that they are more productive in the presence of their immediate supervisor, compared to 12 percent for those aged 30 or over, and only 8 percent for those aged 50 or over. Clearly, if our printing company hires mainly older employees, we will increase productivity and save money because of the reduced need for supervisors."

Based on a survey of automobile factory workers talking about how they will perform in their job whether there were supervisors, the author gives the conclusion that the printing company should hires mainly older employees to increase productivity and save money. At the first glance, the argument seems to be reasonable because the survey gives the data that more aged people would need fewer supervisors. However, a close scrutiny of the evidence of the survey, we may find some critical flaws to make the argument unconvincing.
Firstly, the survey told us more aged workers would be more productive without the presence of supervisors. But the author did not tell us the condition of these aged and young works like what they do in this factory. It is very possible that these two kinds of people have their own jobs that cannot be replaced by another. Maybe the younger workers' job cannot be done by aged people because of their age who are always does some job that are physically easy but technically hard.( 这句肯定有问题。Age不是人称代词，肯定不能用who做先行词。其次，are 和does同时出现了，到底是哪个动作呢？总体来说这句没看懂。)
Even if the aged people and the younger people do the same job, making older people replacing the younger worker cannot assure that the high productivity because the standars of productivity for them may be different. For instance, maybe hiring a supervisor and a younger worker will cost $1000 more than hiring an aged people. But younger worker could make $1500 more for the factory than aged people. And both kinds of people could say that they are more productive. So this way of hiring old people goes another direction to increase productivity and to save money. Without ruling out this possibility, the result of survey is really unsound and unconvincing.
Finally, automobile factory and printing company are not the same kinds of factory. They need different people to work. The devices required to produce product is totally different. Maybe the printing company could not hire the older people who will definitely decline the productivity and the job can only be done by younger people with more creativity.
In sum, the argument is unpersuasive as it stands. The author needs more information about the jobs of the aged and younger people. Besides, the author needs to make sure that the standards of productivity of them are the same. And the author should assure that the two companies are the same kind and require the same kind of workers to work in production. Without these information, the author cannot get that conclusion that the printing company should hire more aged people.


也不知道怎么才能添加附件。我都改在Word里了，这样你可以清楚地看到我改动了哪。

另外......还是关于内容上的。我觉得楼主还使用的他因法来解题的吧？我总是怀疑这样的正确性（不过我必须得承认，我不怎么能看得懂别人的论述，大概只是因为和我思路不一致）。其实这篇Argument主要说年长的人更不需要supervisor，然后就给出了一份调查说18--29的人，27%说Supervisor给了他们生产力；30和30岁以上的人12%，50以上8%。这就有了第一个问题。年长的人可能自己都作了Supervisor了，当然不需要什么Supervisor的指点。或者年长的人已经有了经验，所以也不需要什么Supervisor。所以此Survey不能说明结论的正确性。
既然引述的调查都由foible，那么由此引出的比较就更不对了。这个不多说了，楼主已经点明了。
最后结论，省钱不一定要从是否雇佣Supervisor上面考虑，提高productivity的方法也不见得是雇用许多老员工。就这样吧：）

fengjingqiUID: 2369027

ARGUMENT186 - The following is a recommendation from the director of personnel to the president of Professional Printing Company.

"In a recent telephone survey of automobile factory workers, older employees were less likely to report that having a supervisor present increases their productivity. Among workers aged 18 to 29, 27 percent said that they are more productive in the presence of their immediate supervisor, compared to 12 percent for those aged 30 or over, and only 8 percent for those aged 50 or over. Clearly, if our printing company hires mainly older employees, we will increase productivity and save money because of the reduced need for supervisors."

Based on a survey of automobile factory workers talking about how they will perform in their job whether there were supervisors, the author gives the conclusion that the printing company should hires mainly older employees to increase productivity and save money. At the first glance, the argument seems to be reasonable because the survey gives the data that more aged people would need fewer supervisors. However, a close scrutiny of the evidence of the survey, we may find some critical flaws to make the argument unconvincing.
Firstly, the survey told us more aged workers would be more productive without the presence of supervisors. But the author did not tell us the condition of these aged and young works like what they do in this factory. It is very possible that these two kinds of people have their own jobs that cannot be replaced by another. Maybe the younger workers' job cannot be done by aged people because of their age who are always does some job that are physically easy but technically hard.( 这句肯定有问题。Age不是人称代词，肯定不能用who做先行词。其次，are 和does同时出现了，到底是哪个动作呢？总体来说这句没看懂。)
Even if the aged people and the younger people do the same job, making older people replacing the younger worker (动名词开头很好，但是记住是making sb. do sth. ) cannot assure that the high productivity because the standars of productivity for them may be different. For instance, maybe hiring a supervisor and a younger worker will cost $1000 more than hiring an aged people. But younger worker could make $1500 more for the factory than aged people. And both kinds of people could say that they are more productive. So this way of hiring old people goes another direction to increase productivity and to save money. Without ruling out this possibility, the result of survey is really unsound and unconvincing.
Finally, automobile factory and printing company are not the same kinds of factory. They need different people to work. The devices required to produce product is totally different. (主谓不一致，应该用are，而不是is) Maybe the printing company could not hire the older people who will definitely decline the productivity and the job can only be done by younger people with more creativity.
In sum, the argument is unpersuasive as it stands. The author needs more information about the jobs of the aged and younger people. Besides, the author needs to make sure that the standards of productivity of them are the same. And the author should assure that the two companies are the same kind and require the same kind of workers to work in production. Without these information, the author cannot get that conclusion that the printing company should hire more aged people.


也不知道怎么才能添加附件。我都改在Word里了，这样你可以清楚地看到我改动了哪。
另外......还是关于内容上的。我觉得楼主还使用的他因法来解题的吧？我总是怀疑这样的正确性（不过我必须得承认，我不怎么能看得懂别人的论述，大概只是因为和我思路不一致）。其实这篇Argument主要说年长的人更不需要supervisor，然后就给出了一份调查说18--29的人，27%说Supervisor给了他们生产力；30和30岁以上的人12%，50以上8%。这就有了第一个问题。年长的人可能自己都作了Supervisor了，当然不需要什么Supervisor的指点。或者年长的人已经有了经验，所以也不需要什么Supervisor。所以此Survey不能说明结论的正确性。
既然引述的调查都由foible，那么由此引出的比较就更不对了。这个不多说了，楼主已经点明了。
最后结论，省钱不一定要从是否雇佣Supervisor上面考虑，提高productivity的方法也不见得是雇用许多老员工。就这样吧：）
内容还能看懂，但是语法错误还是需要避免的
比如比较基础的主谓一致啦，动名词做主语啦等等