求改...从来请别人改过，心里没底...水平低，见谅

vansriddlesUID: 2691234

TOPIC: ISSUE40 - "Scholars and researchers should not be concerned with whether their work makes a contribution to the larger society. It is more important that they pursue their individual interests, however unusual or idiosyncratic those interests may seem."
WORDS: 495
TIME: 00:45:00
DATE: 2009/9/13 12:27:19

The statement suggests that scholars and researchers should focus on their own interests, no matter how unusual or idiosyncratic the interests are regardless of whether to make a contribution to the larger society or not. As far as i am concerned, the statement is not a universal truth claim. For those scholars whose favors are related to the whole society's need, the speaker's assertion is true while for others it is not .I will develop my ideas in the following paragraphs.

First we should make it clear that everyone, in today's world, is living on others and the history of human beings, so one should make their best to make the world better. As Einstein said: I know that I upon the labors of farmers and the intelligences of scholars I stand, so I would do my best to make a contribution to the world everyday. Of course, everyone should remember that and when we face difficult or dangerous situations; we could be inspired by the spirit of stubborn and keep moving. When it comes to the scholars and researchers, who get a lot of knowledge and skills from the whole human society, it is clearly and surely that all of them should redound something back to the whole world.

After making one's responsibility to the whole nations and whole world, we could clearly find that the speaker of the statement ignores the responsibility of every member should have to the world and makes a hasty conclusion as a result. If we believe what the statement suggests, we could only sleep and play computer games as we like. We won't make great efforts to accomplish something unusual. We will make no progress and just stop in the long human history since we focus on interests instead of paying attention to the responsibilities. If our ancestors lived in this way, their will be no light and electronic. The night will be dark and terrible just like thousands years before.
So the world leaders of scientist should stand out of the general people and take their responsibilities.

No matter from which aspects we see the question of whether researchers should pay attention to their responsibility to society or not, we could come to the same conclusion that researchers should focus on both their interests and human's need. Only in this way could we humans develop more in our techs and enjoy more in our lives. Light was invented by thousands of times tries, which suggest human's spirit in spite of Edison's own interests. Gravity is discovered by a responsible heart, which doesn't represent Newton's individual hobbies, but represents human beings' endless hope. So when we face a choice between interests and responsibilities, we should think twice before making a decision hastily.

Overall, since every member of today's society inherits a lot from our ancestors and receive everything from others everyday no one could forget that he or she should do something meaningful to the world included scholars and researchers, who are standing ahead the world and responsible to lead we humans to step further. To let the idea above come true, scientists and scholars should focus on the whole society's need and combine their interests with human beings.

stanzyUID: 2629386

spirit of stubborn stubborn?我觉得是persistent吧？
No matter from which aspects we see the question of whether researchers should pay attention to their responsibility to society or not, 这句有问题，但是我不太知道应该怎么改通顺。也许是去掉from?总之我觉得应该写得更英文化一点......
no one could forgetcould 改为can
我觉得结尾写得挺好。但是我又觉得中间的body段应该再斟酌一下语句好支持结尾的conclusion

vansriddlesUID: 2691234

谢谢~~

cinderella1016UID: 2666652

楼主你真喜欢用in today's world; the whole world; today's society~~~注意多样化表达。

再就是，不要迷信长句~idiomatic & clear English才是王道~